8. Sunny
T he Cleveland airport is bustling, and as I weave my way through the terminal, I feel like a fish swimming upstream.
While I’m on my way home for spring break, everyone else appears to be leaving.
Everywhere I look, there are groups of college kids in their university gear on their way to Cancun, or Palm Springs.
Sullen teenagers with their parents, probably traveling to look at universities.
Families with young children heading to Disney, their toddlers already sporting mouse ears.
I’ve never been to Disney World. When I was in second grade, the Dexters offered to take me with them on their family vacation, but my mom said no, of course.
She tried to comfort me with some cautionary tale about her colleague’s stepsister, who had briefly lost sight of her kid at Sea World twenty years earlier.
My mom recalled the tale as if reliving her own trauma, and was genuinely shocked when I said her story did not make me feel better.
But none of that matters now. One day, I’ll right my mom’s wrong. I’ll take my own children to Disney World. And experiencing the magic through their eyes—knowing that I made it happen for them—will be a greater joy than I can imagine.
When I finally make it outside, Mia’s pulling up, already smiling.
“Thanks so much for picking me up… again ,” I say with a chuckle as I get in her car. “You know I can just take a cab?—”
“Oh, stop it,” Mia insists as she nearly squeezes the life out of me. “That’s what friends are for! Besides, I love our drives home from the airport. This is when I find out all the juicy details about your life that you won’t tell me over the phone!”
I sigh as she pulls away from the curb. “I wish I had juicy details to share, but Dex and I still haven’t seen each other since winter break. It’s torture,” I whine with an exaggerated pout.
“I’m sorry,” Mia sympathizes. “What did you say he was doing for spring break again? Some guys’ trip?”
“Yeah, his cousin Ben is getting married this summer and wanted to go hiking with his groomsmen in Montana.”
“Sounds…rustic,” Mia says scrunching her nose.
I laugh at her reaction—Mia’s not outdoorsy at all. “They’ll have fun,” I say. “I just miss Dex so much. This year’s been really tough.”
Mia frowns. “I can imagine.”
She’s so lucky she gets to go to school with Evan.
“Seems like you guys have been doing pretty well with the distance, though. I mean, you talk all the time, right?” Mia adds, trying to focus on the positive as always.
“We were talking every night, until I slept through my poli sci exam a few weeks ago,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“I’m so mad at myself. I stayed up late the night before the test waiting for Dex to call.
His rehearsal ran late, so he thinks it’s his fault.
” I look down at my lap. “He even said we should scale back on phone calls until his play is over.”
“When will that be?” Mia asks as she races down the expressway at a speed that falls just short of where I’d have to ask her to slow down.
I sigh. “Next month. The worst part is I’m dying to see him perform, but I can’t afford my own plane ticket. And I obviously can’t ask my mom for help.”
“I can’t believe you still haven’t told her you and Dex are together. He’s your boyfriend , Sunny! You guys love each other. What are you gonna do when he proposes? Secretly elope without your mom there? Actually—I can totally see you doing that,” Mia says with a furrowed brow.
I giggle despite the knots in my stomach.
Mia assumes that Dex and I are “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” and that we’ve already said, “I love you,” and I haven’t corrected her.
But the truth is, we still haven’t defined our relationship.
I’m definitely not doing it now, though, when Dex is tied up with his play and we’ve been talking less and less.
I’m worried if I bring it up he’ll say the distance is too hard and call it all off.
I’d rather just ride things out until this summer.
Being together will make everything better.
“I’ll tell my mom, eventually,” I reply as Mia pulls into my mom’s driveway.
She’s not home yet, and I’m relieved. I’m not in the mood to be interrogated about my grades.
I don’t intend to tell her about the points I lost on my poli sci exam, but it’s a lot easier to lie to her over the phone than it is in person.
She’d make a damn good detective if she weren’t such a damn good surgeon .
I give Mia a hug, and I’m just about to say goodbye (and congratulate her for driving much more responsibly this time) when I notice a band on her finger. Her ring finger. I take her hand in mine and see a small but sparkly diamond.
“Oh my god, Mia! Is this what I think it is?” I ask her, my heart palpitating.
Mia’s cheeks turn bright pink. “We’re not engaged—not yet. It’s a promise ring. Evan gave it to me for my birthday.”
“That’s so sweet! And so exciting! I can’t believe you’re already talking about marriage! Why didn’t you tell me?” The tables have turned. I’m the one bombarding her with questions this time. I can’t help it, I’m just so…surprised.
Mia’s eyes shift to her lap. I can tell she’s embarrassed. “I felt kinda bad bringing it up after you told me how hard the distance has been for you and Dex.”
“Oh my god, Mia, please don’t feel bad! I’m really happy for you!” I’m talking so loudly I’m afraid it borders on shrill.
But Mia doesn’t seem to notice. She breathes a sigh of relief.
“Okay, good, because I’ve been dying to tell you!
Evan and I would get married tomorrow if we could, but our parents would kill us if we don’t at least graduate first.” She smiles with a dreamy look in her eyes.
“It’s so hard waiting though. I just love him so much.
I want us to have a home together, and a family—the whole nine yards. ”
“That sounds amazing,” I tell her.
It does. I want all of that too, with Dex. But he wants to be a famous actor. How could we build the kind of life I want together ?
“I wish I didn’t have to drive back to school tomorrow. It sucks that our spring breaks aren’t lined up. I know I’m jumping ahead, but I thought it might be fun to look at wedding dresses,” Mia says, her eyes bugging out as if to say, Oh my god, can you believe this is happening?
I can’t.
“Oh well, maybe we can go this summer,” she continues with a shrug. “Anyway, you’re gonna come to Evan’s birthday dinner tonight, right? The new Italian place? Eight o’clock?”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” I say as Mia wraps her arms tightly around me. When she releases her grip, I turn to get out of the car. I need to move fast. I can only hold back my tears for so long.
I wave goodbye as she backs out of the driveway, then practically run up the porch steps to our front door. When I’m in the house with the door locked behind me, I have to stop and take a deep breath.
I shouldn’t be crying. I feel like an awful friend.
I’m happy for Mia, I am. But there’s a sinking feeling in my gut.
If I looked in the front hall mirror right now, I bet I’d be green with envy.
Somehow, I’ve nearly made it through spring quarter.
In just seven short days, I’ll be home for the summer and, most importantly, with Dex.
But first, I have finals to study for. It’s a Saturday night and my friends are out partying, finals be damned.
But my poli sci grade is teetering between a high B and a low A, and if I want to tip the balance, I need to ace this test.
No pressure.
I get back to my dorm room after a quick dinner at the student center, and I’m about to buckle down when I see the flashing red light on the base of my phone. I have two new voicemails. I perk up immediately. I bet at least one of them is from Dex.
This might be the first time I’ve smiled all week.
I’ve been in such a funk since spring break.
I spent most of it at home alone, reading romance novels and eating TV dinners on the couch.
Meanwhile, Dex was having the time of his life with Ben and his friends in Montana.
I wondered if this was a glimpse into my future with him.
He’d be jet-setting all over the world, a famous actor, and I’d be lonely, and missing him.
The only time I went out over spring break was for Evan’s birthday dinner.
And watching him and Mia together—how he sat with his arm around her all night, and the way they gazed into each other’s eyes, and whispered “love you, babe” with mirrored grins—it was both heartwarming and unbearably triggering.
If I was insecure about my relationship with Dex before that night, now I’m a complete disaster.
Anyone can see that Mia and Evan are meant to be, but what about me and Dex?
I don’t even know if he’s committed to me, and I’m still too afraid to ask him.
Although his play is over and it was a major success (a local theater critic called his performance “stunningly flawless”), he’s been so busy catching up on schoolwork that our calls are still few and far between.
An encouraging message from him is exactly what I need to get me through this last week .
I pick up the phone and listen with a giddy grin that falls flat almost instantly. The first message is from my mom, not Dex. She’s calling to wish me good luck with finals—but it sounds more like a threat than anything else.
The second message is from Mia, asking me what I think of purple for bridesmaids dresses.