39. Bi would’ve been fine
Bi would’ve been fine
The next morning Hunter woke up with his head on Colby’s bicep instead of a pillow, and one of Colby’s legs was draped over him.
He was facing Hunter, his mouth slightly open, sawing in heavy breaths that were almost a snore.
Colby’s golden brown eyelashes fluttered every now and then.
Zeus was sleeping on the corner of the bed, curled into a big black ball.
They’d kicked the sheets off at some point, so it was just them, in their boxer briefs and nothing else.
And if heaven existed, this was what it would be like for Hunter.
They’d spent the night like they were now, wrapped up in each other, hardly speaking and not doing anything else but holding on.
Hunter hadn’t fallen asleep for a long time, so this morning he was a little blurry-eyed.
He knew Colby must be exhausted, and that he had a flight back to Los Angeles tonight, so he was careful not to wake him as he slid off the bed.
He glanced at his phone on the charger and saw forty-six messages waiting.
Colby’s had an alert on the screen. A message from Ford.
He left both phones on the nightstand, grabbed a pair of sweats and his Tidal concert tee, and slipped out of the room.
His dad was at the front door accepting a giant bouquet of beautiful flowers from a delivery guy. He kicked the door closed with his foot, and Hunter cleared off the kitchen island so he had somewhere to put them. “These are magnificent.”
Hunter nodded and plucked the card from the center.
He had no idea who they might be from. They’d already received a bunch of flowers and a lot of people had donated in Catherine’s memory to the breast cancer foundations they’d requested in the obituary.
He had to read the card twice for it to register.
Hunter,
My thoughts are with you and your dad. I lost my mom when I was about your age, and although everyone’s grief is unique, I’m here to talk if you need to. About this or anything.
Deepest Sympathies,
Margo
“It’s my old agent,” Hunter said and smiled. “Fuck I miss her.”
“So hire her back. You can do that, right?” Greg asked. “Are there terms on how long you have to stay with the one you got? I don’t know how this works.”
Hunter put the card on the island countertop and walked over to the coffee maker. “There aren’t any terms, but it’s not that simple. I’m with a huge agency now, with a lot of clout and manpower to handle my type of deals.”
“Do you like your current agent?” Greg asked. “Because he didn’t send flowers.”
“No. He did send a text,” Hunter said, knowing full well that didn’t compare. “I don’t think he has this address.”
“But she did. And you haven’t been her client for months, right?”
“A year and change.” He pulled down three mugs from the cupboard above the coffee machine as he waited for it to heat up.
“Anyway, Marge… Margo would have to want me back. She’s doing fine with the clients she has, and I can’t dump Lorne if I don’t have somewhere to go. I don’t get work without an agent.”
He took the beans his mother stored in a ceramic mason jar and put them in the grinder. It wasn’t until the coffee was brewing that Hunter realized his dad wasn’t talking and was simply studying him. “What?”
“Are we going to discuss the Oscar-winning musician-sized elephant in the room?” his dad asked.
Hunter froze, grateful for the loud whirl of the coffee machine as it brewed their espresso shots, so his father wouldn’t hear his heart start to pound.
He couldn’t decide if this was the worst time or the best time to reveal his sexuality.
They were so raw from his mom’s death, so what was one more blow?
Would it be a blow? And if it was, would it break apart the relationship with his last living parent?
“He’s my best friend.” Hunter wasn’t chickening out, he was testing the water. “He means a lot to me.”
“Remember, Guy? Guy MacPherson?” his dad asked, and Hunter glanced over his shoulder and nodded. “He’s been my best friend since my McGill days. I’ve never looked at him like you look at Colby.”
Hunter forced his eyes to stay on his dad and, through his panic, tried to read him.
He didn’t look upset. Maybe a little shocked, but not upset.
Definitely not angry, as there was a hint of a smile on his face.
Maybe? Or was that Hunter’s anxiety playing tricks on him? “He was my roommate for a while too.”
“Yeah. Okay.” His dad nodded. “And now he’s… something else, isn’t he?”
Hunter didn’t respond and instead frothed the milk with his full attention, like it was the most complex task known to man.
When he finally poured it over their mugs of espresso and carried them to the island, he had to work to keep his hands from shaking.
Why was this so hard? His father took the mug with a thankful smile and reached for the sugar that his mom always kept in one of those diner-style dispensers.
“Now he’s nothing. He isn’t my roommate anymore.
And he can’t be my best friend because…” Hunter took a deep, steadying breath and held it.
“Because we can’t be around each other without people noticing we look at each other like we’re madly in love. ”
“Because you are?” his dad asked, the sugar frozen in his hand above his coffee.
“I am,” Hunter whispered, and when his dad put down the sugar and reached across the island to squeeze his shoulder, he finally exhaled.
“I think he is too, for the record,” his dad replied. “Did you tell Mom?”
“No. I know in my heart she wouldn’t have judged me, but I also know she would have worried more.” Hunter sipped his coffee. “Because she would have realized what everyone within five feet of my career has told me. Being openly bisexual or gay will adversely affect this career.”
“She worried. And yeah, this would have worried her. But she would’ve supported you and loved you just the same.
I know because when we were waiting on a baby, applying with adoption agencies, we had that conversation.
She wanted to know I really wanted a baby, no matter what, and I would love it no matter what.
” His dad looked at Hunter with softness.
“She asked me everything. What if it’s a girl, what if it’s a boy, what if it has a disability, what if it hates hockey, what if it’s gay. ”
“I’m bi.”
“She didn’t ask if I could accept a bi child, but judging by the way she told me, with her whole heart, we had to accept our baby no matter who they loved or who they were, I bet bi would’ve been fine.
” His father chuckled until his breath hitched and he paused to make sure he didn’t cry.
When he looked at Hunter again, his eyes were bereft, and Hunter’s heart squeezed painfully.
“I lost so many years that I could have been with your mother. So fucking many.”
The room seemed to fill with a heavy shroud of grief again. Hunter nodded, not sure what to say. “Why did you cheat?”
“Because I was an absolute fucking idiot.” His muddy brown eyes were somber.
“I was young and dumb, and your mom was more than ready to grow up, and I wasn’t.
I don’t know. I have zero excuses, but I will tell you, I begged her to take me back, even after I found out Giselle was pregnant.
But that was something she couldn’t forgive—probably because we hadn’t been able to conceive.
And we had you, and she felt like I was betraying you even more than her.
But we both still loved each other the entire time. ”
“I figured that out when you were there for her with both cancer battles,” Hunter said.
“And for the record, I didn’t think it was a bigger betrayal just because you adopted me.
It was never a betrayal to me. You were always there when I needed you, and although I wish you hadn’t divorced, I don’t feel slighted because you had a kid of your own. ”
“You’re my own kid, Hunter. Just as much as Francois. I don’t give a shit about DNA,” he said, and Hunter smiled. He felt it too. Greg Law was his dad, end of story.
Greg finished his coffee and slowly picked himself up off the stool at the island and walked over to put the mug in the sink.
He leaned against the counter there and observed his son.
“I’m not telling you this to rehash my mistakes.
I’m telling you this because the thing is, your mom and I never stopped loving each other, but we did start caring about what it would look like.
What people would think. She waited so long to give me another chance because her parents would have thought less of her if she took me back.
Her co-workers would have gossiped about how pathetic it was to take back the cheating ex who knocked up someone else.
I waited so long to try and truly get her back because I thought it would affect my job.
No one wants a person running their town who has such a messy, embarrassing personal life. ”
Greg looked up at the ceiling and pressed the heels of his hands into his tired eyes for a brief moment.
“Those last few months we had together were the best of my life, and when the cancer came back, it made me realize my job and other people’s opinions were not worth what I lost. The time we denied ourselves that obviously we will never get back. ”
There was a soft creaking down the hall. Colby was up and opening the bedroom door. Hunter left the island to fuss at the coffee machine, eager to make Colby a coffee exactly like he knows Colby loves. “Morning. You sleep okay?”