11. Joni
Joni
Oliver is moving slow this morning. That makes two of us, but my problem is I’m having trouble staying focused.
Not sure why Oliver’s not more excited. Getting ready to go is normally his favorite thing.
His inner dog wakes up the moment he sees his trailer.
He loves the ride, and he especially loves being unloaded to prance along the sidewalks of downtown Grinberry Falls.
He doesn’t seem interested this morning. He’s going through the motions, but he’s taking his sweet time.
When I open the trailer to let him out, he’s in better spirits. The second his hooves hit the pavement, he’s in his element, holding his head high and looking for anyone who might want to say hi and scratch his neck.
“Okay, buddy. You know the rules. Stay on the sidewalk, and no spitting unless some asshole really deserves it.”
They normally only spit at other alpacas, but Oliver might have more trouble than most discerning the difference between other alpacas and humans. I’m not sure he knows which one he is most days.
I walk toward Grin’s, and Oliver heads to the end of the street where he can start his window gazing at the nail salon and make his way down the block.
Sabrina and Glynnis are at the table waiting for me with mimosas and pastries from Trudy’s Diner.
“Are we celebrating something?” I ask.
Mav Grinberry never kept flutes or champagne at Grin’s before Sabrina entered his life, and they still look out of place in this rustic old bar, but so many things have changed in this town over the past few years.
I honestly think Mav’s dad would’ve loved to have seen his daughter-in-law and her friends drinking champagne in his bar.
Mostly though, I think he would’ve loved seeing the effect she has on his son.
“You tell us,” Sabrina says, pulling the gooey center out of a cinnamon roll. “Is there something to celebrate?”
Glynnis lifts her mimosa. “Yeah, anything worth toasting?”
“Not in my world.” I take a seat and pinch a bite off a lemon-blueberry muffin. “My construction permit is still in limbo, the refinisher hasn’t even started on my island yet, and Oliver is acting stranger than usual.”
They exchange that best-friend look, that secret language they speak with their eyes.
I take a drink of my mimosa. “Okay, what’s going on?”
Sabrina twirls a section of her long brown hair as if she’s totally innocent.
Glynnis bounces on the edge of her seat, dying to tell me what they think they know.
“Soooo,” she begins as if this is going to be some hot gossip, and I shift in my seat because I’m already unsure if I really want to hear this.
“Rhett was out and about early this morning because I’ve been going to the candlelight six a.m. hot yoga class at that new studio out by the freeway, and my battery was dead when I came out of class, so he had to come give me a jump.
But he wasn’t even awake yet when I originally texted him, so I had to wait at the coffee shop for half an hour.
I probably could’ve asked someone there for a jump, but I love that place, and I had my computer, so—”
“Is this side quest important to the main journey?” I ask. “Because if not, I need you to get back on track and tell me what any of this has to do with me.”
“Hmm, now I’m not sure what to think,” she says, raising her eyebrows when she looks at Sabrina.
“Yeah,” Sabrina says. “She’s pretty uptight, so maybe . . .”
She turns to me. “Did something break at your place this morning?”
“Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on before I flip this table.”
“Whew,” Glynnis says. “That redhead temper is agitated.”
“Maybe he’s not as good as he looks.” Sabrina shakes her head like she just heard the saddest story.
“Quit playing games and tell me what you’re talking about.” As if I couldn’t guess at this point. But they couldn’t possibly know. How?
Glynnis answers my unspoken question as if she’s reading my mind. “Rhett saw Enzo driving out of your gate this morning. Early. So, how about you tell us what we’re talking about?”
“There is nothing to talk about.”
“If he spent the night and there is nothing to talk about, I’m going to punch that doctor who said you didn’t need a prescription for hormones yet.” Sabrina licks cream cheese frosting from the corner of her mouth.
“Joke’s on that dumb bastard because I ditched his ass for a woman doctor who’s already suggested a supplement and given me a prescription for a hormone cream based on my symptoms instead of my age. No more mood swings, no night sweats—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Glynnis waves off my rant. “How about orgasms? Specifically orgasms from Enzo.”
“Yes, he stayed the night. There were orgasms. But it’s not a big deal. Probably just a one-time thing.”
“Probably?” Glynnis asks.
She is the last person who is going to let me get away with downplaying this. She and Rhett spent months trying to deny they were in a relationship. Not that Enzo and I are in a relationship.
“He wants to go out again.” I slump in my chair.
Sabrina winces. “Oh, God. How bad was it?”
“Not bad at all. Exceptionally good.” I sit up and sip my mimosa. “This damn town, I swear. Nothing is sacred.”
Glynnis smiles as she digs her fork into the peach pie slice. “Well, if you wanted to keep it a secret, you should’ve had him leave before the sun came up.”
“Then you probably would’ve seen him on your way to yoga.”
“Clearly, you need to sell your place and move to a less-traveled road,” Sabrina says.
“My address is not the problem. His age is. Or mine is.”
“Age is only a problem if you make it one. Rhett and I are doing just fine,” Glynnis announces as if her situation and mine are the same.
“It’s different when the man is older. People don’t even bat an eye.”
Sabrina throws her freshly pulled cinnamon roll section back onto the plate. “Are you seriously going to let the potential judgment of strangers determine how you live your life? Since when?”
“That’s no way to live, babe.” Glynnis claims Sabrina’s discarded cinnamon roll bite. “Besides, no one will know your ages unless you tell them. Your age gap isn’t visually obvious.”
“I don’t know if you’re complimenting me or insulting him.”
“I’m encouraging you to ride that young dick at every opportunity.”
“I haven’t ridden it at all yet.” My irreverent response surprises me. I’m trying to take this seriously, but these two women make it impossible not to see the lighter side of most anything.
“Oh, now you have to go out with him again.”
Easy for Glynnis to say. She’s never met an etiquette she couldn’t spectacularly violate.
Sabrina nods. “Glynnie’s right. You don’t even know if you’re compatible yet.”
“We’re compatible, okay? Tab A into slot B. Everything worked as it should.”
“That’s not compatibility. And if it felt that mechanical, forget all my encouragement and please don’t subject yourself to that again.”
“I’m trying to make jokes so I don’t get weak and risk another date with him.”
“There is no reward without risk,” Glynnis says.
Sage advice from the former queen of recklessness.
Oliver rings the doorbell, and I welcome the chance to escape this conversation. But before I can leave my chair, Mav is opening the door. I didn’t even know he was here.
Mav fills the sawed-off bucket he keeps behind the bar for Oliver with water and sets it in his preferred spot—right in the middle of the floor where it’s in everyone’s way and no one will miss the alpaca enjoying his drink. To be seen and adored is Oliver’s mission in life.
He takes a few drinks, and then he nudges the bucket with his nose hard enough to slosh water out onto the floor.
“What was that for?” Mav asks. Then he brings his hand to Oliver’s neck and apologizes. “I’m sorry. I forgot to do this, didn’t I?”
Oliver normally turns his head to give everyone full access to his favorite scratching spot on his neck, especially Mav. But he drops his head straight down instead.
“Not in the mood, huh?” Mav repositions the water bucket, trying to entice Oliver into taking another slurp.
Sabrina stares across the room. “You’re right, Joni. Oliver is acting strange.”
“I thought he was just holding a grudge against me for leaving him home one too many times, but I can’t believe he’s denying Mav’s neck scritches.”
“Does he like Enzo?” Glynnis asks.
“I don’t think they’ve formally met.”
“What? You have to introduce your kid to the man you’re going to marry.”
We all laugh at her ridiculousness while Mav lets Oliver back outside to continue his sidewalk surveillance.
It’s incredibly hard to keep your personal life personal in this town, but I wouldn’t trade my friendship with these women for anything.
They’re a little younger than me, too, but that’s also not the same as dating a younger man.