32. Sydney
“How did it go?” Graham asks quietly as he slides a book into place on the shelf. We’ve been in the library for twenty minutes now, and I can tell he’s been champing at the bit this whole time to ask me that question.
I swallow hard from where I’m crouched in the corner on the other side of the room. It’s only been a day since seeing Mom, and I’m definitely still processing the heavy emotions that came with it, trying to make sense of a new normal where seeing her like that is something that happens on a regular basis. Because I know without a doubt that, while it was hard, and there's been a raw, grief-filled cloud following me around ever since, it fueled a newfound resolve to see her again. An urgency, as if I need to make up for lost time.
Cole is in town, helping his uncle get settled into a short-term rental house, and Blair is helping Shirley feed the large group of fishermen who stopped by boat for lunch, so it’s just Graham and me in here, getting the library put together.
“It went okay,” I say softly, knowing that, out of anyone, he would understand the complex emotions that come with this situation.
“I know it’s hard, but it does get easier,” he says sympathetically. “As impossible as it sounds, you get used to it in a way. To seeing her like that.”
“I don’t know how you do it as often as you do,” I admit.
“Maybe we could go together next time,” he offers.
“I’d like that, Graham.” I give him a genuine smile, taking a deep breath. I lift a stack of historical romances out of one of the boxes of donated books. With the lodge library nearly doubling in size with the renovation, more books was a necessity. However, I didn’t want to cut into our budget to use a chunk of it on books, so Graham set up donation boxes in three neighboring cities, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the haul he brought in.
“We sure have a large selection of thrillers that were donated.” I note five full boxes labeled with that genre.
“That would be the result of my fiancée,” he chuckles. “Blair donated most of those. For some reason, she thinks those kinds of books add to the whole remote-island experience.”
“She’s probably not wrong.” I smile, noting some of them look brand new. She probably purchased some at full price to add to the donations.
“So, are you going to fill me in on what’s going on with Cole?” he asks after a few seconds of silence.
My hand stops midair as I freeze.
“What do you mean?” I feign innocence.
“You and Cole,” he says firmly. “What’s happening there?”
I blink at him over my shoulder, trying to gauge how much he knows.
“Come on, Syd. It’s obvious to anyone with a set of eyes.” He shakes his head, laughing as if he finds the whole thing amusing.
“Really?” I cringe.
“Yes. It wasn’t hard to pick up on it once your little ‘feud’ pittered out.” He climbs down the rolling ladder to grab another stack of books.
I wait for him to push for more info, but he stays silent, waiting patiently for me to respond.
“We’re, uh…figuring it out, I guess. There’s something there, obviously,” I admit.
He nods, a slight smile on his face, but still, he says nothing.
“That’s it? No big-brother speech? No threats of having a serious talk with him about his intentions like you do with every other person I date?”
“Nope. Not with him.” He shrugs.
I probably shouldn’t push, but curiosity gets the best of me. “Why not? Because you know him? I thought you weren’t that close?”
“Because I know enough about him to know everything I need to,” he says simply.
Graham has always been observant, so it’s no surprise he would pick up on a person’s character so easily. But I wonder how much of the truth of Cole’s past he knows about.
“What do you know?” I ask as casually as I can.
He grunts as he climbs a few steps to hoist a stack of books onto the top shelf.
“Just that he was going through a lot back in high school. He kept to himself most of the time, but his face said enough. Clearly there was something going on internally, but he never missed a practice and always stayed after to help clean up gear. I saw him stay behind and clean up the locker room many times too, even though that was the last thing any of us wanted to do. Plus, he’s always helped me check on properties on the island whenever he’s here. He’s got a good heart. That’s not hard to see.”
I smile to myself, silently agreeing with him. Cole does have a good heart, and for some reason, it feels not only good but necessary to have Graham’s approval. It feels like a green light I didn’t know a part of me was waiting for.
“I really like him, Graham,” I say quietly, sliding the last book into place on the shelf.
“I can tell.”
“I just don’t know what will happen long term for us. We live in two different places,” I say, voicing my concerns.
“You’ll figure it out—if you both want to badly enough.”
With a sigh, I stand back to admire the completed bookshelf on my side of the room. Rows and rows of books for guests to enjoy while they’re here. I think it just might be one of my favorite rooms.
I stack the empty boxes by the door and move to the corner nook where I designed a beverage station, complete with a coffee bar and a mini fridge for cold drinks. Ripping the box of K-cups open, I get started filling the wire basket labeled Coffee .
“We should start talking about the grand opening,” I suggest. “It’s slated for six weeks from now. That’ll be here before we know it.”
“Do you think they’ll finish the reno in time?” He huffs.
“I hope so. It’ll be tight now that the electrical issue with the cabins are pushing us back, but I think we can still make it. Neal said they’re almost finished with cabin one, so they must have been able to get a lot of the other work done while it was being fixed. Once all the cabins are done, we just need to do the glamping area, which shouldn’t take too terribly long.”
“Good, because word’s been spreading through town already about the grand opening. I’ve been getting some calls about reserving cabins for that weekend already.”
“That’s not surprising.” I chuckle.
“Well, you mention it to one grocery store clerk, and the whole town is pretty much in the know. Plus, anyone who’s been out here has been raving about what’s been done already.”
“Yeah? Go ahead and book them, then.”
“Yeah?” he asks excitedly.
“Sure. Let’s fill the cabins up. It’ll be our motivation for this last push.”
“Alright. You don’t have to tell me twice.”
I finish organizing while my smile lingers. Once the beverage corner is completed, I place my hands on my hips, admiring the library as a whole.
“It looks great, Graham.”
“It really does,” he agrees. “I only have this box left, so you can go ahead and call it a night. I think it’s getting late.”
I check my watch and agree, a wave of exhaustion hitting me. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. I plan to finish the workout room tomorrow if you need to find me.”
“Sounds good. I’ll come help you when I have a few spare minutes. Night, Syd.”
“Goodnight.” With another smile, I head out of the mostly quiet lodge and head into the darkness toward cabin twelve.
The walk is quiet and peaceful, with only the sounds of nature filling the air and the lake water rolling from somewhere in the dark on my left. Cabin twelve comes into sight, and an anticipation sparks inside me at the thought of seeing Cole. It’s only been a few hours since I’ve seen him, but I miss him. There’s an ache in my chest that doesn’t involve pain or grief. It’s an anticipation that I know will be satisfied the moment I lay eyes on him.
I push the door open slowly, and a punch of disappointment hits me when I find him already fast asleep on the cot. It dissipates quickly, along with the ache now that I’m near him, followed by a heartwarming of sorts. He must have had a long day too.
I slip my shoes off as quietly as I can and creep inside. As I pass the table, I softly run my fingers along the puzzle we completed last night. The significance of working on it together over the course of many days, little by little, gives me a sense of pride I didn’t know I could feel from just completing a puzzle.
On impulse, I slide my thumb over the wooden eagle Cole carved that I placed above the puzzle, and head quietly up to bed.