Chapter 41
Iris told me it was my turn to choose what we would do for our next session. She said she wanted to be pushed outside her comfort zone and see what it was like to live on the edge like I did.
“Whatever you choose,” she said, “make it something that scares me a little. I think I need that.”
Dangerous words to say to someone like me.
I told her to meet me in the woods. I brought the harnesses.
We were going zip-lining. The zip line wasn’t part of any official park or recreational center.
It was deep in the woods, known mostly by word of mouth through forums and a couple of unlisted YouTube videos.
The kind of place you’d only find if you were looking for something borderline stupid to do. And I always was.
The platform was maybe thirty, thirty-five feet, nothing insane by my standards, but enough to make your knees shake as you questioned your life choices.
The line stretched across a steep hill down into a mossy ravine, disappearing into the trees below.
One wrong move and they wouldn’t break your fall.
You’d shatter. But I wouldn’t let that happen.
Not when I had someone to protect. Even if that someone was also me.
Iris stared up at the platform, her mouth slightly gaping open.
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, a strand of her hair lifted off her in the breeze.
I had to look away as the sunlight hit the curve of her neck.
Suddenly, it wasn’t the anticipation of flying above the tree line that had my pulse jumping.
“You okay?” I asked, nudging her with my elbow. “You look like you might finally be at a loss for words.”
“This is way higher than I thought it would be.”
“You asked for this.”
“I didn’t ask to die, Danny.”
“No,” I smirked, “that is my thing, remember?”
She groaned and smacked my arm, but her hand lingered there longer than it needed to, as if she were checking that I was still real.
For a brief second her fingers traced along the edge of my muscle, and I wondered if she found comfort in touching me.
I didn’t want to admit that I hoped she did.
But I did. I really did. I did so much that the want tingled up my arm, and I turned away yet again and cleared my throat to distract myself.
It took me a while to convince her to climb up.
She insisted I be right behind her so the entire climb she had her ass practically in my face.
I’d never done something this crazy with a semi before but there was a first time for everything, and my first time was right now.
It was interesting how my brain had decided she was safe to lust after.
I’d never really done that before either, and my body was very excited for the opportunity.
At the top, the wood creaked under our boots. I pulled out the gear and dropped to one knee, flipping open the buckles and loops with practiced ease. Iris stood still, watching me like I was some kind of mythical creature in his natural habitat.
“Sit,” I said, tapping the bench built into the platform.
She obeyed. Her breathing was faster now.
Her shoulders were stiff. Her eyes darted everywhere but my face.
I crouched in front of her, pulled the harness around her thighs and up her hips, and began strapping her in—tightening, tugging, testing.
My fingers brushed her sides more than once, and each time I felt her tense and then pretend that she hadn’t.
Her thighs were warm through the fabric.
Her breath hitched again when I looped the strap through her legs and cinched it snug against her inner thigh.
The air between us thickened. I could smell the soap she used and the coffee she had drank this morning from where I hovered between her legs.
I almost forgot how to speak as my thumbs ran down the material of her leggings, just once.
I’d never wanted to do something like that before, yet now I found myself aching to touch her.
“You good?” I asked when I finally found my voice, checking the carabiner. She nodded too quickly.
“Yeah. Just… trying not to pass out.”
“You’re safe.”
“You would say that even if I wasn’t.”
“For me absolutely,” I grinned. “But in this case, you actually are. I would never let anything hurt you, just Iris.”
She stood once she was fully clipped in. Her legs were shaky. Her hands fumbled with the gloves.
“God, this is so stupid,” she muttered. “Why did I say yes to this?”
“You asked me to push you out of your comfort zone.”
“Yeah, well, consider me shoved.”
“Iris.”
She looked up. I leaned in a little.
“Do you trust me?”
She swallowed. “Yes.” The word fell from her lips so softly I almost didn’t hear it.
Something about the way she said it hit me right behind the ribs.
No one had ever handed me their trust before.
I had never given anyone reason to. I wanted to hold it like a baby egg in the palm of my hands.
I felt too afraid to move and break the moment, but I stepped away from her and nodded once.
“Then don’t look down. Just step forward. ”
She walked a few steps. Then froze.
“Danny… please.”
Oh, my body liked how she said that. She was clipped in, gloves on, helmet slightly crooked. Her body leaned forward like she wanted to jump but couldn’t quite convince her feet to agree. I stood behind her, fingers lightly gripping the base of her harness—not to push, just to anchor.
“You okay?” I asked, softer this time.
“No,” she said, her voice high and tight. “No, I am very much not okay. This was stupid. I am a life coach, Danny, not a—” She threw one arm out, gesturing at the trees. “—not a flying squirrel.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “You want to go back down?”
“I—” She glanced down the hill, then back at me. Her eyes flashed. “Don’t you dare let me go back down.”
I grinned. “Then what do you want?”
“I don’t know!” she snapped. “Stop asking me questions! You’re the thrill-seeking, death-defying weirdo—just tell me what to do!
” She was red in the face now. Breathing fast. Her words came out in one big tumble of panic and pride.
And for some reason, it was… adorable. No, scratch that—it was hot.
I liked seeing her flustered. I liked knowing that for once she was the one spinning out while I was calm, steady, and grounded.
I liked that she needed me to be the one in control.
“Hey,” I said, stepping beside her. “Breathe.”
“I am breathing.”
“You’re hyperventilating.”
“Shut up.”
I laughed. “Okay, now you’re just being mean.”
She exhaled shakily and turned away, mumbling something I didn’t catch.
“What was that?”
“I said,” she muttered, “I’m sorry. I just got overwhelmed.”
“I know.”
“I wasn’t expecting to feel this—vulnerable.”
“Iris.” I leaned against the railing beside her, our shoulders nearly touching. “That’s the entire point of a comfort zone. If you weren’t terrified, it wouldn’t be brave.”
“You sound like me.”
“Gross. Please take that back.”
She cracked a smile—barely—and then turned to me.
“Okay,” she said. “You win. Coach me through it.”
I raised a brow. “You want me to life coach the life coach?”
“I’m giving you full permission to boss me around. For the next ten minutes, I’m yours.”
Wrong thing to say, sweetheart. I was now sporting a full hard on in my pants. I tried to readjust myself as inconspicuously as possible. I needed to keep this situation to myself.
“Okay, how about I go first. If I die, get off the platform. If I make it, jump and follow me. I’ll be your guinea pig, darling.”
Her eyes rested briefly on my lips before nodding. She didn’t even admonish me for talking about dying. That’s how I knew just how anxious she really was. I clipped in beside her. Close enough to feel the tension in her shoulders and the tremble in her fingers.
“You good?” I asked.
Her eyes darted to mine. “Yes.”
“Good.” I tightened the final strap on her harness and gave the line a test tug. “Then follow my lead. I’ll go first. You wait until I text you the all clear, got it?”
She nodded; her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
I stepped onto the edge. The trees stretched wide and wild beneath us.
The drop was steeper than it looked from the bottom, and the wind rushed up like it was hungry.
For me, it felt like home. I jumped. The wind swallowed me whole.
Branches blurred. My body zinged with that familiar electric buzz of weightlessness and risk and freedom.
It was perfect. It was amazing how enjoyable these crazy things could be when you weren’t trying to find ways not to make it out.
When all I had was the thrill, it was actually even better.
When I made it to the bottom and unclipped, I texted her to follow me.
Nothing. A second passed. Then two. And then—Iris must have jumped, I was too far away to see it when it happened, but I heard it.
She screamed the entire way down. It wasn’t a terrified scream.
Okay, it started out that way. But halfway through it twisted into something giddy and breathless and wild.
When she finally came into view her eyes were wide, her hair was tangled beneath her helmet, and when she landed, she stumbled straight into me.
I felt her body against mine, her chest heaving, her sweaty strands of hair stuck to my neck.
I liked the feel of her tucked up against me. Way more than I had any right to.
“Told you I got you,” I said to her, laughing, fighting the feeling to run a finger down her sweaty cheek and touch her soft lips.
She looked up at me, breathless, cheeks flushed, eyes bright, hair a mess around her.
She was chaos and sunlight and victory, and I wanted to bottle up the moment and keep it just to prove it was real.
For a moment I thought she might kiss me.
For a moment I wanted her to. But she shook me free as she laughed.
“Oh my God,” she panted, vibrating with her excitement. “That was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
Instinctively I caught her by the waist, bringing her back to me, her hands found their way to my chest. “You didn’t pass out. I’m impressed.”
“You were right,” she said. “It was amazing and horrible. But I did it.”
“You flew.”
“I screamed like a banshee the whole way.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
She stepped back just enough to look up at me. Her flushed face glowed from the rush. For a second, we just stared at each other—this weird little moment of mutual awe and adrenaline and maybe something more passed between us.
“I needed that,” she said, voice soft now. “To feel like I could survive something terrifying.”
“You did more than survive,” I said. “You conquered it.”
She smiled. “Thank you.” And then she lifted her hand and pressed her fingertips to mine. The contact was feather-light. Deliberate. I didn’t move; I didn’t want to break whatever fragile thing was forming between us. Even once her hand dropped, I felt her touch everywhere.
Later, back in the car, she glanced over at me.
“You really enjoyed that,” she said.
“What? Watching you panic? Definitely.”
“No, I mean helping. Coaching me.”
I shrugged, but yeah—I did. It felt good to be the strong one. To steady her hands, to clip her in, to remind her to breathe, to be needed; to know I could be the brave one for someone else and not just the reckless guy chasing death for likes.
The entire day, I hadn’t felt broken. I’d felt…
capable. Wanted. In the quiet hum of the ride back, I caught her watching me, smiling to herself.
It felt like maybe the wires between us were finally starting to cross.
Whatever it was buzzed between us, alive and heavy, a secret neither of us would say out loud.
When her eyes caught mine in her reflection in the window, it felt like she was seeing something she hadn’t planned on finding and for the first time ever I really wasn’t afraid if she had.
DANNY
bro
CARTER
what??
CARTER
Did you accidentally tell her you love her?
CARTER
Did you touch her boob?
DANNY
we zip lined. she touched my hand after. not by accident. she wanted to
CARTER
Bro… not the hand! Are you sure she’s not pregnant by now?
DANNY
don’t start with me
CARTER
Too late
CARTER
if she touched your hand after zip lining you’re basically married
CARTER
I don’t make the rules
DANNY
shut up
CARTER
You shut up. Don’t ruin this. Do not get weird and disappear on her for three weeks
DANNY
I uploaded a video of it. Go look. I’m gonna crawl into a hole now
CARTER
You’re monetizing her finger flirting you. Fuck me. brB
“Wait who is that? Who is this mystery girl? I want to see her face!”
“Not the, “I told you I got you.’ I’m in love with them both.”
“The way he looks at her. If my future husband doesn’t look at me like that I don’t want it.”
“Tell us exactly what prayer you said to get this.”
“May a love like this find me.”
“No bc I will fistfight her. Get your hands off my husband.”
“I’m so confused how we went from almost committing murder in a car to eye fucking in a forest but I must admit I’m so here for it.”
“We haven’t gotten a video in so long I was so scared, oh em gee I’m gonna pass out I’m so happy to see this mofo!”
IRIS
ummm. The comments on your latest video (confused eye emoji)
IRIS
Are these people ok?
IRIS
Your fans think I’m your girlfriend now.
DANNY
You did scream my name while I was strapping you in.
DANNY
Very misleading.
IRIS
You could’ve cut that out. lol
DANNY
And miss out on the “Don’t steal my man” comments? I think not.
IRIS
Someone said, “He’s off the market. My condolences to the rest of us.”
IRIS
I almost feel guilty.
DANNY
Why?
IRIS
Because I’m not actually your girlfriend.
DANNY
Right.
DANNY
You know better than any of them how I’m exactly what people don’t want to date. One big walking red flag.
IRIS
You keep saying that.
IRIS
But I’m still here.
DANNY
Good night, just Iris
IRIS
Good night, Danny