Chapter 10
Ten
Kyanite
Vidaris plagues my dreams. She’s given me a vision of Lunaria tonight, her soft brown hair floating around her like a halo—an angel of hope. A symbol of everything that I cannot have. Lu is among the stars, shining as if she were the moon.
I can only catch glimpses of her, a flash of breathtaking hazel eyes one minute and a sway of her loose hair the next. She’s blurry, like she’s hidden behind a wall of frosted ice. It takes me a minute to focus on her gaze, to make out the emotions swirling in it.
It only lasts for a brief moment, but it is all that I need. She looks troubled, her eyes misty as she calls out to me. Her mouth doesn’t open, but I hear her voice drift into my mind.
“Tell me you’re okay.”
She blurs back out of focus, the wall separating us.
A bitter laugh tumbles from my mouth, and I shake my head. Another one of Vidaris’s tricks. As much as I want to believe Eurydice is still out there, connecting us through our dreams, I know nothing that good could find its way here.
Red skies loom and blood rains from above, coating my lungs with the sticky substance and filling my mouth with a tainted metallic tang.
“Wakey, wakey, little Aegis.” Vidaris’s sickly voice scratches against my ears. “Time for the next show to begin.”
I don’t ask what she means—don’t have to ask.
My body tenses, preparing for what horror Vidaris will create for me to watch just as a scream fills the air. Bile creeps up my throat as an image of Lunaria appears before me, her mouth agape in a wail.
“You said you’d never hurt me,” she cries.
Lunaria looks down, her beautifully wild eyes wide as she stares in horror. I follow her gaze, my hand suddenly free and feeling slimy and cold.
My back goes rigid.
A heart rests in my palm.
“Lunaria—” I choke out.
She falls to the ground in a heap, a gaping hole where her heart should be.
Pain ripples through me, agony raw and untampered as I look down at the woman I love—her heart in the palm of my hand.
I blink, and the image shifts.
Suddenly, Lu is gone—and my hand is bound once more.
Everything is moving too fast for me to keep up with, too many images of the woman I love tortured and hurt.
Flashes of Moros using his dark magic to drain the life from her, then her trying to use all of her magic to defeat him—only to not have enough, using up her power until she’s gray and lifeless.
The word stop sits on the edge of my tongue, close to begging the Goddess of Vengeance to make it all stop.
My mouth cracks open—acid on my tongue as I almost give in—but it all stops at once. Lu’s cries, the sound of blood hitting the dusty ground. Silence. Sweet and terrifying silence.
“Thought it was over?” Vidaris laughs, nowhere to be seen.
The muscles in my stomach clench.
Vidaris stands before Lunaria now, and I will myself not to lose it—not to give Vidaris the satisfaction of seeing me break. She looks over her shoulder at me, a vile smirk on her face as she plunges a dagger of ice into Lu’s chest.
My nostrils flare as I watch it pierce her skin, her scream turning silent.
I blink, and suddenly Vidaris is before me, but the image of Lunaria falling to the ground in a heap is the only thing I can seem to look at.
“Poor thing,” Vidaris coos. “She didn’t even try to fight back.”
I grind my teeth together, unable to tear my eyes away from Lu’s empty gaze.
Not real, not real, not real.
“Oh, my little Aegis,” she purrs. “Maybe it’ll help if you understand what she felt.”
I don’t have time to brace myself for the icy blade she shoves into my heart. My breath is knocked from my lungs, my body instantly going numb.
“Not—” I choke out, “—real.”
Vidaris laughs and twists the dagger. A grunt rumbles in my throat as the numbness turns into a sharp, sudden pain. She leans in until her mouth hovers beside my ear. My skin crawls as her breath puffs against my neck.
“Real enough to feel, though, isn’t it?” she whispers.
She yanks the blade out, and a sputtering cough rips from my chest. I look down, my hands straining against my restraints to feel for where the dagger was—but nothing is there. No blood. No exit wound.
Vidaris shrugs. “I wish I could kill you,” she sighs longingly. “But you aren’t good to me dead. Yet.”
The dagger of ice that was once in her hand has disappeared, as has the image of Lunaria dead behind her.
Did she really stab me? Is she playing with my mind?
“Now, onto the next.” She smiles widely.
A new mirage forms, this one worse than the last. I watch Lunaria being strangled to death by Reichardt. Again and again until my vision blackens.
After the third mirage, I finally start to let my rage take over.
For hours, days, weeks—I don’t know how long—I have had to watch her being killed over and over again, in a new and more disturbing way each time.
And every time, after watching her die, Vidaris would make me experience the physical pain of each death.
She would conjure a monster of rotten flesh and soulless eyes, letting it tear me into shreds—only for me to jolt awake sometime later, back in one piece yet again.
But one thing remained constant; I was always awoken by Lunaria’s screams, images of her dying followed by me having to feel the same immediately after—which only served to drive the knife deeper into my heart, knowing exactly what that kind of death felt like.
But what Vidaris didn’t intend was the wall of fury I had begun to build around me. Brick by brick, I built an impenetrable barrier around my heart.
Vidaris may find a way into my mind, but she will never take what I feel for Lunaria away from me.
I already feel a deep and visceral sense of protection over her. I will do anything to keep her safe. To let her know how worthy she is. Having to watch her die over and over again only fuels that need to protect.
It doesn’t matter what happens to me now. If I am going to die, then I will make sure Vidaris will, too.