Chapter 47
Forty-Seven
Arcus Obsidian
We’re a tangle of limbs and lips meeting as we stumble up the stairs to our room. We pass someone drunkenly knocked out on the steps, but it doesn’t stop us. There’s no one we know here, no one we need to look or act a certain way for.
The days to come won’t be like that. Lu is going to be Amira when we get back to the castle, and I’m going to be something I hate. Someone I hate. The Prince’s Snake isn’t me—it was always a persona I wore like a second skin.
It came in handy with keeping others at a distance, to keep them from asking too many questions, like where I’m from or who my family is. Avery, Addie, and I had a shared background story memorized, but all it took was one nosy lord or lady to unravel everything we had built.
Being at court again is going to be suffocating. I’ll be back to thinking through every word I speak, every muscle I move—each and every decision will need to be thought through before being acted upon.
Lunaria may have never felt like herself in Crea, but she’s about to experience a whole new level of pretending to be someone she’s not. Now she’s tasted what it’s like to have a family, have a home.
But tonight…we can just be us. Lunaria and Graylen. Not the man who lost himself in the Vale, or the woman with the weight of two kingdoms on her shoulders. And with the way she’s looking at me, I couldn’t care less who’s around.
At some point in our ascent up the stairs, our kisses turn slower, deeper.
And as we reach the small landing outside of our room, she just…holds me.
For a fleeting breath, we just stand there—our bodies molded perfectly together, every inch of my skin ablaze. I bask in the warmth of it, bathing in the glow that radiates from within her.
Her arms are wrapped around my waist, her cheek pressed against my chest. My free arm is curled around her while my other hand fumbles for the doorknob behind Lu’s back.
We stumble into the room, the feel of her heart pounding against my own driving me forward.
The moment the door shuts behind me, I pull her to the bed. I sit on the edge and position her to stand between my legs, her fiery hazel eyes burning into me.
I lean toward her, my lips brushing against hers, but she freezes—not melting into me like she so often does.
She starts to pull away, a flicker of pain in her gaze as she puts distance between us.
I can see hesitation written across her beautiful face, can see the way she’s unsure of what I can handle right now.
What she doesn’t realize is that all I need is her. I need her to remind me that she’s here—that she’s real.
“Little princess,” I rasp, the words low and breathless, “don’t pull away.” My voice cracks. “Please.”
The further away she is, the more I can see the things Vidaris made me watch in the Vale. I can picture the sword protruding from Lu’s throat, can nearly smell the stench of metallic ichor that filled my nose as I was forced to watch her die.
When I blink, the memory shifts to when I watched an image of Moros draining magic from Lu’s body, her shimmering skin fading to a dull gray as life dimmed in her eyes.
My chest tightens, and the familiar ache of my lungs constricting begins to crawl up my throat. Each of my fingertips and toes begins to tingle, the sensation numb and prickling as it works its way up my limbs. Darkness clouds my vision, my head swimming.
I need to know that this is real—that every image Vidaris showed me is in the past. That I’m not still trapped in the Vale and this isn’t another one of her tricks. Lunaria is my future, but the ghosts of my past still haunt me.
There’s a small part of my mind telling me that I’m going to wake up any minute with blood rain pouring from the skies, my magic suppressed and my body bound.
I find myself needing to touch her, if only to remember that she’s real.
Each time my skin connects with hers, it anchors me to the moment. To reality. It keeps my thoughts from spiraling and the painful memories of the Vale at bay.
A small, warm, and callused hand slides onto my cheek. Calluses that match my own. It’s something I’ve always loved about her.
“I’m right here,” Lunaria whispers. She reaches up to grab my wrist and guides it toward her, placing my palm over her heart. “Feel that? I’m real. Flesh and blood and a racing heart that beats for you.”
Beneath my hand, there’s a faint tapping—rhythmic and steady. Much steadier than my own.
“I don’t need space right now.” The words slip out in a soft growl.
If there’s anyone I know in this world, it’s Lunaria. I know how she thinks—how she worries for others before considering herself. She’s afraid of pushing things too far, like I’ll break if she does.
What she doesn’t know is that Vidaris broke something inside of me a long time ago, and Lu is the only one who can sew me back up.
I try to give her a small smile, showing her that while I may be broken right now, it doesn’t mean I will be forever. Healing takes time, and with her by my side, I know the day will come when I don’t close my eyes and see the horrors of the past few weeks.
“Graylen.” She’s so close that my name brushes against my cheek, her breath warm and voice soft. “Whatever you need, just say the word, and I’ll find a way to make it happen.”
She takes a deep breath, and her fingers sink into my hair. I briefly close my eyes, reveling in the sensation of her closeness.
“I don’t expect you to be anything right now,” she murmurs.
“You don’t have to be happy or healed right now.
I understand wanting to put a mask on—I did it for years.
And I know you did too, in your own way.
There was this pressure to look brave, to prove to everyone else that no one could hurt me. ”
My faint grin falls away. Tears gather in my eyes, my heart squeezing as her gaze shimmers, too.
I look down when the first tear falls, afraid that if I hold her soul-searching stare, I won’t be able to stop.
Lunaria’s hands slide to my cheeks, not forcing me to look at her but holding me closer. She continues to talk, her voice washing over me like a balm on my burning soul.
“Especially when it came to the men in the camp.” She pauses to swipe away a tear with her thumb before it reaches my chin. “I wore my mask like armor, pretending I was untouchable. And for a time, I was. No one could hurt me if I didn’t let them in.
“So, I pushed everyone away. For a long time, no one saw the real me. Not Linnick or Opal, and certainly not Adrian.” She huffs a bitter laugh. “Then you came along and ruined everything. You taught me what it meant to not do things alone, to lean on those around me when I needed help.
“You don’t have to be strong for me,” Lunaria whispers, each word filled with such tenderness that my tears begin to fall freely. “I can be strong for both of us.”
Slowly, her hands slip onto my shoulders, and she presses a light kiss to my cheek. I shudder beneath her touch, her words lingering in my mind.
“You have the weight of the world on your back right now.” My voice cracks. “You can’t be worried about me, too.”
I want to be strong for her—to prove to her that there’s nothing to worry about. That’s what Aegis do.
There was a brief moment tonight while we were watching the dancers when I felt normal. I felt like me again.
And I’m not giving Vidaris the satisfaction of stealing my happiness forever.
The corners of Lunaria’s lips tilt up into a sad smile as she breathes, “There is always time for you.”
An empty laugh tumbles from my mouth.
“There was a time not so long ago that you swore you’d rather be anywhere but near me.” The words come out hoarse, my throat raw with emotion as the memories sweep over me. “In fact, you made it quite clear you hated our arrangement.”
“Of course I hated it,” Lunaria says with a soft chuckle. “You saw through my bullshit. When everyone else was content to see the mask I wore, you were able to see what was beneath the fake smiles or the furious glares.
“Just like I can see through your fake smiles tonight,” she adds gently.
Her gaze bores into mine, her eyes telling me how she could see past my teasing remarks tonight but chose to play along.
Earlier, I just wanted to be us again. The us we had found in that small cave beside the fire my magic had provided. Before Vidaris tried to steal her away, before I went into the Vale.
But now that it’s just me and Lunaria, I can breathe a little easier. The pain of memories is still there, but at least now they don’t feel as if they’re about to crush me.
With her here, she makes me feel like I can be brave.
So I don’t hold back, don’t try to hide the agony rippling through me. What we talked about in the bath was only a scratch on the surface of what had happened, and now, I feel safe enough to let the words begin to pour out.