Chapter 58 #2
“Graylen,” I gasp as his tongue flicks out onto my flesh. “What are you—”
I suck in a sharp breath when his lick turns into a quick nip with his teeth.
“You had the right idea when you said you wanted to replace my old memories with new ones,” he murmurs against my skin. His hands slide around my waist. “That’s what I intend to do tonight.”
He shifts off of the bed and tugs me forward until I’m seated on the edge and he’s standing between my legs. Heat pours into my chest as he reaches out and grips my chin, tilting my face up toward him.
A stormy green sea stares back at me so intensely that I can’t look away.
“I once told you that a mark would only be on you if I put it there, and that it would be from pleasure, not pain.” Graylen’s voice pitches, near-desperate. Needy. “Let me give you pleasure in all the places Vidaris made me see pain.”
A soft whimper escapes my lips, and I reach for his waistband. I would gladly give him anything he asked of me right now. This man, who somehow went from someone I loathed being around to a person for whom I would do anything just to make them happy.
But the moment my fingers curl around the fabric, he stops me. My eyes fly up to his and my brows pull together.
“No,” he rasps, his hold on my chin tightening.
Graylen sinks to his knees, his stare holding mine as he lowers himself to the floor. Gently, he places a hand on my stomach, pushing until I lie down with my back on the bed and my feet still on the floor.
“Let me take care of you, Lu,” he whispers.
Goosebumps roll across my skin as his words drift down my body, stirring heat in its wake. No one has ever taken care of me. In every sense of the word, it’s always what I can do for other people.
Growing up, it was what my name could get them. Once I was older, it became about being a wife—a bargaining chip to both Reichardt and the boys that showed an interest in marriage.
Even with Opal, it was how we could help each other stay sane in the camp—a transactional relationship of what we could give each other. If anything, I was always afraid of someone hurting her and constantly looked out for the both of us—I learned to protect not just myself, but her, too.
Linnick was the only person to see me as just Lu, but even then, there was only so much he could do for me.
And by the time I came to Penyth, the only thing I knew was how to take care of myself. It was a slow process of allowing myself to trust others or to ask for help.
But letting someone take care of me?
It was easier to never let someone that close, because the deeper I let people in, the more they could hurt me.
As much as I need this, Graylen needs it more. He’s the one hurting, the one who needs to be taken care of.
“But you—”
“No.” He cuts me off, gaze burning. “Doing this, this is what’s going to stop me from succumbing to the memories, little princess.”
My breath catches, and I nod. I would give him the world if he asked for it.
Graylen’s fingers wrap around my ankles, our gazes still locked as he begins to run his hands up my calves. With his ascent, he lifts the skirts of my dress, raising it until it bunches at my waist.
Still, his eyes stayed on mine.
I’ve never been good at letting someone take care of me, but this is Graylen. The man I trust more than myself sometimes. He keeps me grounded—keeps me anchored. If there’s anyone for whom I would let my guard down, it would be him.
Every. Single. Time.
“I trust you,” I blurt. “I don’t think I’ve said that out loud before.”
Graylen pauses, tilting his head to the side as he murmurs, “And I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t trust you. You own me, Lunaria. Heart, body, and soul. They’re all yours for the taking.”
A soft smile tugs at his lips, and he leans forward, his mouth hovering above my inner thigh. “Now relax,” he whispers. “And let me worship you.”
When he presses a kiss to my skin, I don’t try to tamp down the groan that rumbles in my throat.
“This is what I needed,” Graylen says into my mind.
His hands slide under my knees. In one fluid motion, he hooks both of my legs over his shoulder, leaning in closer until my thighs bracket his face.
My back arches off the bed, and I prop myself up on my elbows, looking down into his heated gaze.
“I needed to drown in you so I could breathe again.”
He doesn’t give me time to answer—doesn’t give me time to think—before he lowers his mouth and devours me. My hands fly out to grip the bed, fisting the sheets to keep them off of Graylen. Giving them something to do so that he has freedom to do as he pleases without being touched.
He buries his between my legs and beneath my skirts.
His tongue works a punishing rhythm as it swirls in and out of me. He unhooks one of his arms to push my stomach down, angling my hips forward.
I squeeze my eyes shut as he presses down. But the hand holding me in place doesn’t stay there for long. The pressure of it falls away at the same moment his mouth lifts off of me.
“Look at me while I touch you,” Graylen demands softly. “Let me see those pretty eyes while I remind myself what you taste like.”
My gaze flies to him, still on his knees before me.
He slides my legs off of his shoulders and rises to his feet. I don’t break his stare as he leans over the bed, setting his hands on either side of my face as he presses his palms into the thin mattress.
The sound of our heavy pants fills the air. A tight coil wraps around my stomach as he gazes down at me. Even though he isn’t touching me, I can feel his hands everywhere. The ghosting whisper of his touch grazes down the trail his eyes make.
Graylen starts to lean down, and I squirm beneath him, my thighs drenched and heart racing.
He starts at my neck, kissing the base of my throat slowly—in the same place he said Vidaris tried to make him believe he had run a sword through me. His words from earlier drift into my thoughts. Let me give you pleasure in all the places Vidaris made me see pain.
As his mouth sears a path of heat against my flesh, his left hand slides down my stomach, disappearing beneath my dress. A gasp tears from my lips as he sinks two fingers inside of me, working a slow, steady motion in tandem with his mouth against my throat.
His mouth moves to my shoulder next, then down to my waist—the feel of his lips muted by the fabric of my dress. But it doesn’t slow him down, his fingers relentlessly moving in and out of me as he peppers me with kisses.
Just as he asked, I keep my eyes on him, even as pressure begins to build low in my stomach.
I draw in a sharp breath as he sucks lightly on the center of my chest, right over my heart.
A shiver barrels through me, and I try to focus on the feel of that instead of wondering what vision Vidaris gave him that he’s trying to replace.
He shifts his weight until he’s lying beside me, his chest pressing against my right shoulder. He brings his face close to my ear.
“You taste as sweet as I remember,” Graylen breathes, his voice a low rumble.
My thighs clench around his hand as it begins to quicken its rhythm.
“Fuck, but the feel of you?” he rasps. “It’s fucking addictive.”
Every word sends me closer and closer to the edge.
“Say you’re mine.” The demand is quiet. Possessive.
My eyes flutter closed as the tension building in my stomach grows tighter and tighter, so close to snapping that I can’t make my mouth work—can’t even form the thoughts into his mind to tell him how right he is.
I am his. Always.
“Lunaria,” he warns, the pace of his fingers slowing between my legs as he leans back.
My eyes snap open, meeting his burning gaze. A whimper spills from my lips at the loss of the delicious tempo.
“I’m yours,” I rush out breathlessly. “I’m yours, Graylen. No one else’s.”
His nostrils flare, and that’s all he needs to hear for his lips to finally meet mine. The kiss isn’t gentle—it’s punishing. It stokes a fire inside of me, his fingers sinking deeper between my legs as his tongue slips inside of my mouth.
My legs begin to tremble, and a groan tears from my throat as a wave of numbness seizes my limbs. Graylen swallows my screams with kiss after kiss, his fingers slowing as he wrings every ounce of pleasure from me.
As his fingers pull out, his mouth captures mine. I twist toward him, my hands reaching to grip the collar of his shirt.
I’ve been letting my fear of rejection keep me from being who he needed me to be. I swallow thickly, the saliva going down like sand. Deep longing pierces my chest as I stare into his gaze.
I slowly stand; his eyes follow me the whole way.
I’ve been wasting so much time these last few weeks, afraid of what would happen if I wasn’t enough. I let my fear rule my actions.
But no longer.