Chapter Six
I shrink away from the boys and swat at the sticks they poke at me.
“Say something,” Jonas taunts, jabbing me in the back with the branch. “What’s wrong with you? Say something.”
The three other boys laugh, which only makes him poke harder. “Did you get brain damage or something?”
“Maybe she got dropped on her head,” Gil says, his buck teeth jutting out from under his smiling lips.
I swat my arm at the sticks again.
“What are you doing?”
The boys turn.
Jonathan’s shadow stretches across them. Collin is standing beside him with his arms crossed.
“Nothing.” Gil doesn’t drop the stick or walk away. “Just trying to talk to her.”
“Put down the sticks and leave her alone,” Jonathan demands. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Why would she?” Collin adds. “Your breath smells.”
I cover my mouth to hide the smile.
“What is she, your girlfriend or something?” Jonas says. And the boys laugh even though it’s not really funny.
“She’s my friend,” Jonathan announces like everyone should know this. Except I didn’t know this. Not until now. “So, leave her alone.”
“Or else we’ll shove those sticks up your butts.” Collin looks proud of himself. His threat works. Or maybe it’s because Jonathan is taller than the rest of the boys. They walk away, dragging their sticks in the dirt behind them.
Collin holds out a plastic bag, filled with chocolate chip cookies. “Want one? My mom made them and said I had to share. They’re good.”
“They are,” Jonathan assures me.
I take one and smile without saying a word.
“You should sit with us at lunch,” Collin says, stuffing a cookie into his mouth.
So, I do. And they don’t care that I don’t talk.
Collin does most of the talking anyway. He says funny things and makes weird faces to make me laugh.
I laugh a lot. Jonathan protects me from being made fun of for not talking for two whole weeks.
And no one does. At least not for the rest of fourth grade.
Did you talk?”
“Define talk.” I wrap strands of hair around my finger as I lie on the bed with my phone to my ear. I inspect the split ends and frown.
“All you did the entire time was make out? You two are really horrible communicators.” I called Collin to help me feel better after Jonathan left.
He sounds impatient and not his usual take-nothing-seriously self.
I rely on him to distract me with wit when my brain’s gone all fritzy—which is more often than I want to admit.
“We said words,” I defend weakly.
“What’s going to happen in school on Monday? Am I allowed to talk to you, or do we keep ignoring each other like we have been since school started?”
“I… don’t know.”
“Sadie! What the hell? This is stupid.”
“I know,” I grumble. “But it’s not my fault, exactly. We were totally fine with being seen together, but now…” I’m still trying to decide how to tell Collin since this also involves him.
Collin is never the instigator of trouble.
Jonathan usually isn’t either, if I’m being honest. He just doesn’t know when to walk away.
So, Collin always gets involved in whatever mess they get themselves into because of Jonathan.
He’s never blinked at being labeled a problem, or trouble, or whatever delinquent tag that gets attached to them because he’s loyal and knows his friends are important.
So do I. Which makes this really, really hard to say. So, maybe I don’t say it.
“Tell me.”
I swallow.
“Sadie, if you don’t tell me, you know he will. And you might not like the words he uses.”
I close my eyes. “My mother asked me not to be seen with you guys for a while, and Jonathan overheard.”
“I knew it. Because it won’t look good for your dad’s campaign if his daughter’s seen hanging around criminals.”
“You’re not criminals.”
“That’s not what they’ll say when they uncover our arrests.”
“Never prosecuted. And those records are sealed.”
“Thanks to your dad, which won’t help him either now that he wants to sit on the other side of the courtroom.” He is so matter-of-fact about it, like it’s already decided. “And you know nothing’s really sealed.”
“So, that’s it? You’re done being friends with me because of my father’s career choice?” My eyes tear up with frustration.
“Not what I’m saying. But I’m aware of what’s at stake—that’s all. Guess we’ll just have to be careful.”
“And you weren’t before?” I accuse, knowing that Jonathan’s been warned that he could get kicked off the swim team if he’s caught up in another incident, especially one involving the police. And he’s relying on swimming to get into college.
“Now we have even more to lose.”
“You’re not going to lose me. Ever.” My head is pounding, and my chest is tight. “Can we talk about something less irritating?”
“Like how you have a secret boyfriend?” There’s a lilt of teasing in his voice.
“No. Not after tonight.” This is a disaster. Why would my dad decide to run for district attorney? We usually talk about stuff like this as a family, especially when it affects everyone involved. There was only an announcement this time. Maybe that’s what’s bothering me most of all.
“Stop. You know he doesn’t give up that easily. He just needs a minute to process.”
“And he didn’t say we’re together, only that we can walk in the halls together.” Semantics, I know. But lines are really hard to read between.
“You two are exhausting. Now, I need to talk about something less irritating.”
I don my smile of invisibility at the fundraising events on Sunday.
My cheeks hurt by the time we return home that evening.
I haven’t heard from Jonathan or Collin.
It’s fine. I should probably get used to not having them around as much.
Of course it’s not really fine. But I’m too exhausted to fight with anyone tonight about the importance of free will and life-defining choices.
When I walk down the hall the next morning, I’m resigned to my situation and recognize that I don’t have control over anyone except myself. It sucks. But I can’t force him to want to be with me.
“Hey, why do you look like someone broke up with you? Did it shatter?” Danika asks from beside me. I don’t know where she came from. Not paying attention can make people appear as if out of nowhere.
“It’s… I don’t know.” My shoulders sink even lower, if that’s possible. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back this weekend. I had stuff with my family.”
“Yeah. Well, you’re going to hear some rumors today, and I wanted to warn you.”
Before Danika can continue with the gossip, I halt in the middle of the hall. A passing shoulder bumps me. Probably on purpose.
“What?” Then she sees what I do. “Oh. Yeah. He probably knows too.”
Jonathan is leaning against my locker, his eyes on mine. He gives me a small smile.
“I’ll let him tell you,” Danika says in my ear before she disappears. I haven’t taken my eyes off him—the gorgeous guy with broad shoulders, jet-black waves and onyx eyes that seem to pierce my soul. I could stare at him all day. And annoy everyone in the hall in the process.
I approach him cautiously, suddenly uncertain I want to know what’s being whispered and texted around school.
It obviously has to do with me. And Jonathan?
It’s been a while since that’s happened.
Which was one of the reasons the three of us began to hang out less and less once we started high school.
“Hey,” he greets me, moving to the side so I can access my locker.
“What’s going on?” I ask carefully, hanging my jacket inside and unloading my computer bag, taking out what I don’t need.
“Thought I’d walk you to class, if that’s okay?
” He has his shoulder pressed to the locker next to mine, blocking everyone from view.
“I spoke to Collin last night, and we decided we can’t lose you.
Not even to help your dad. But we promise to be on our best behavior so we don’t screw it up for him either. ”
“You and Collin decided this?” I confirm, quirking my brow. So, this is about being friends, not about being together.
I close my locker, and we begin down the hall. His arm brushes against mine, and my body flushes with heat—from just barely touching. Wow, I need to calm down. But before I can, his hand is taking hold of mine, lacing our fingers together.
My mouth pops open in shock.
“Didn’t you hear? You’re in love with me.”
“Wh-what?” I practically choke on the words.
Jonathan chuckles. The sound’s deep and full of humor. “There’s a rumor circulating that you’re in love with me and I won’t give you a chance because I only think of you as a friend.”
I swallow. That’s what Danika was trying to warn me about. “Who started—” But I don’t have to finish the sentence because the source of the chatter scoffs from across the hall.
“Pathetic. He just feels sorry for her,” Laurel quips bitterly, making sure we can overhear her and her new friends.
“No way he all of a sudden has feelings for her. They’ve been friends forever. Why would he like her now?”
I want to say I’m hurt that Bridget is adding to the mean digs, but she hasn’t liked me since eighth grade when her boyfriend dumped her to ask me out. I said no, but still, it’s always the girl’s fault. And I had to find out why she stopped being my friend from a rumor then too.
I gape at the two girls. Laurel smirks maliciously. What the hell? I was only ever nice to her. My arm is tugged. I stumble forward to keep pace with Jonathan, who refuses to let go of my hand. Even when I try to force him.
“Stop,” he says gently, his grip tightening. “She has nothing to do with us.”
“Tell me you’re not holding my hand right now because of the rumor she started. So no one will tease me like they did in fourth grade when I didn’t talk for two weeks in protest to help save the whales. Because you don’t have to protect me.”
“I’m not,” he assures me. “I’m holding your hand because I want to. Because we decided we don’t care what people say, remember?”