Chapter Fourteen #2
“Where is he?” I can feel annoyance bubbling up in my chest. But also hurt.
Collin frowns with a shake of his head. “I don’t know. He’ll be here. He knows how important this is to you.” He produces an exaggerated smile to try to make me laugh. I force one in return. We’re pretty pathetic. “I’ll try calling him again.”
Collin disappears through the crowd and up the stairs.
I work my way back to the table. Random birthday wishes chase after me.
I reply with a blanketed thank-you to whoever called out.
Danika is sitting on Oren’s lap, talking into his ear when I reach the table.
From the smile on Oren’s face, she’s forgiven him again.
I don’t understand their hot-and-cold relationship. But I have no room to talk, considering I don’t even feel like I’m in a relationship half the time.
I’m not sure what I have the right to feel in this moment.
Am I overreacting? I want to be understanding and patient.
It bothered me in a different way when we were just friends.
Why does it feel more intense now? The last thing I want is to be a pathetic, needy girl.
But no matter how much I try to rationalize, I can’t keep my heart from aching every time he doesn’t show up.
“Can you help me take these off?” I ask Danika, my voice reedy with emotion. I’m making every effort not to be upset. But the disappointment and hurt have taken on a life of their own, creeping up my chest and squeezing my throat. I swallow it back, but the emotional lump won’t budge.
Danika comes up behind me and unfastens the wings. My shoulders droop with relief. She hangs them on hooks on the back of the chair. Someone was smart enough to realize they’d drive me crazy after too long.
“They look cool there,” Danika admires. I flop down on the throne. “It’s even cooler when you sit with them flared out behind you.” She examines my face. “What’s going on?”
I shake her off, averting my eyes. I’m afraid to open my mouth because my feelings will have full rein over my words and I won’t be able to hold back the tears.
“Can you get me a drink?” Danika asks Oren. “See if Sean still has the spiced rum and mix it with the cider.”
Oren slinks off on his errand so that Danika can be alone with me. She slides in close, not forcing me to look at her, thankfully.
“Are you worried?”
I’ve been too hurt and angry to be worried. I peer up at her with guilt heavy in my eyes. “You think I should be?” And now I feel terrible, sulking most of the night. Festering in my despair and pettiness. Where is this all coming from? It doesn’t feel like me at all.
“He wouldn’t miss this.”
Danika’s right. He’d be here. Something must be keeping him away. Or someone.
“Do you think his dad doesn’t want him dating me? And that’s why he always makes him do stuff whenever we have plans?” Deliberate interference is a worry I never considered.
“Does his dad know you’re dating?”
I shrug.
“So… he may not even know.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” My parents probably wouldn’t know if Mom hadn’t interrupted our date. I doubt it’s a conversation Jonathan would willingly have with his dad.
“Maybe if he met you. Realized how amazing you are, he’d want Jonathan to see you more. You calm him. Make him better.”
I smile lightly. “You think so?”
She rolls her eyes like I’m ridiculous for even asking. “You’re his whole world. That’s easy to see anytime you’re together. Even before you started dating.”
I surrender to the smile that overtakes my face.
Hearing her say that makes the hurt, hurt a little less.
Knowing what everyone else sees has me elated and heartbroken at the same time.
How come I never saw it? Felt it? Was I so obsessed with hiding my feelings that I never opened myself up to what was so obvious to everyone else?
I consider what the Fate said. Whether she’s legit or not, her message sang to me. Asking me to see the truth. To save him from himself. I can’t save anyone if I’m sitting around, feeling sorry for myself.
“I should talk to Collin. See if he got ahold of Jonathan.”
“Want me to go with you?” Danika stands as I do, ready to follow me.
“No. I’ll find you when I come back down.”
I’m greeted by a chilled breeze the moment I step through the door to Purgatory.
Collin is standing next to someone, dressed in all black with a skull mask covering the top half of his face.
They both turn toward me as I stand in the doorway, the light from the party spilling out onto the lawn, a shiver erupting down my spine.
I connect with the dark eyes behind the mask.
They hold me still. My heart recognizes them instantly, taking off in a frenzy of beats that brings a rush of blood to my cheeks.
His gaze is penetrating, seeing through me, into the essence of my being.
And in that moment of connection, the world could burn down around us.
It’s only a blink of time, but it’s suspended in eternity.
“Look who I found,” Collin announces with more exuberance than is necessary. I shift my gaze to him with effort. My legs take a moment to connect with my feet and eventually propel me forward as he steps toward me.
“You look…” Jonathan’s hand is on the back of my neck; a thumb brushes my jaw.
“You really are…” His words have no ending, but the reverence with which they fill the air between us has more meaning than their completion could.
My hand is on his chest; our eyes are locked in a conversation. A book of unsaid words.
I lean in and kiss him. The familiar give of his lips is warm and sweet.
“What the hell is this?”
Jonathan instinctively pulls back at the sound of the critical voice that has a way of ruining my life. I brace myself before turning around.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, the steel blade cutting through my tone, sounding more like Danika than myself.
“Is that any way to greet your brother?” Gavin asks, spreading his arms wide.
He’s wearing a low-cut toga that reveals his developed chest. He’s always been vain, spending hours in the gym in high school.
Guess he’s still dedicated to his ego. A spear tip digs into the ground, the shaft gripped in one hand.
“Do you really think I’d miss your birthday? Now get over here and give me a hug.”
I grumble and drag my feet toward him, allowing him to sweep me up in his bulky arms.
“Did I just see you kissing someone?” he asks in my ear, still holding me in a vise grip, my arms pinned to my sides. He inspects Jonathan over my shoulder through the shield of my hair. “No fucking way. You better not be with Reeves. I won’t allow it.”
I raise my arms to break his hold. “That took all of thirty seconds.”
He snorts like I’m overreacting.
“Stay out of it, Gavin. You can’t control me.”
My older brother has always tried to rein over my life.
Control who I talked to. Hung out with. I’ve lost so many friends over the years because of my brother’s instigating terror.
And we didn’t even go to the same high school.
He did all this while attending the private school two towns away in Wetherford.
I elected to attend public high school when given the choice.
I have no idea how Danika tolerated him for nearly two years.
Oh, wait. He broke her.
“Go back to Columbia, Gavin. I’m sure you have more important things to do than hang out with us.”
Gavin isn’t listening to me. His attention’s caught on someone behind me.
“Hey, Gavin,” Collin says, stepping next to Jonathan. “How’s the city?”
“Fine.” Gavin looks between the three of us, his eyes landing on Collin one more time before he returns to the party.
“What was that about?” Jonathan asks, but I’m not sure who he’s asking—me or Collin. Because that was… strange.
I wait for Collin to answer. Jonathan’s focused on me. Collin is staring at the closed door my brother just disappeared behind.
“Wanna go inside?” Jonathan asks when no one answers. It snaps us all back to the moment. An eruption of shivers overtakes my body in reaction to the crisp night and too much exposed skin.
“Yes.” I wrap my arms around myself. Jonathan envelops me, warming me instantly.
He’s here. He didn’t miss it. He wouldn’t.
Then why is there an anxious ball rolling around in my gut?
Maybe because when I kissed him… I could feel the cut on his upper lip.