Chapter Forty
Sadie. Wake up.”
I open my eyes. My mother hovers over me, a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.”
I scan my room, transported back. I’m unable to speak, still lost to the nightmare.
“It’s been a long time since you had a nightmare,” she says, smoothing my hair. “You okay?”
My voice finds me. “Yeah.” I push myself up to sit and swipe the sweaty strands from my face. “I’m okay.” Except my shaking hands don’t know that.
“You’re coming today, right?” I ask her, afraid something last minute came up and she’ll need to cancel, especially with it being the middle of the week. It’s rare that she has time for me. Dad always makes time, especially when Mom can’t. But I don’t want him with us today.
Today’s Senior Skip Day. It’s the last school tradition we spend with our families before graduation next month.
“Of course I’m coming. I planned a basket especially for the day. Jane and Samantha helped. And I bought extra-protective sunscreen, so you don’t have tan lines for prom tomorrow.” She tucks my tangled hair over my shoulder. “You should probably start getting ready. The boys will be here soon.”
Stretching, I finally feel awake. “I’ll be down in a bit.” I pull my blankets back and disappear into the bathroom.
What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” Gavin says, chomping on a piece of bacon. “Got home last night. Here for the summer.” He wraps me in a hug and proceeds to give me a noogie. “You missed me—I know it.”
I slap at his chest to get out of his hold.
“Good morning, Prescott siblings!” Collin announces with way too much energy. “Love is in the air. I can smell it.”
“That’s bacon,” I say, refastening my ponytail.
“Same thing.”
Jonathan smiles at me from the doorway. I’m in his arms as soon as I can reach him. “My stupid brother is home.”
“I can see that. What’s up, Gavin?”
“Reeves,” Gavin grumbles. “You’re a permanent fixture, I see.”
“I am,” Jonathan says with a smile in his voice.
“Good morning, everyone,” my mother greets us.
She’s relaxed her rigid need to control everything lately.
We’ve spent the past month preparing for her launch.
We even hung a countdown clock in the kitchen.
Fourteen days, three hours, twelve minutes and winding down seconds.
I’ve never worked with my mother before.
She’s in charge of more than I could’ve ever imagined.
I see her differently somehow. I admire her.
Magda sets a platter of waffles on the dining table. “Enjoy.”
I give her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“Where’s Dad?” Gavin asks. I try not to react.
I’ve been avoiding him. He’s asked to talk several times.
But I’m not ready. My mother may have forgiven him.
But I haven’t reached that place. He shattered something inside me.
The part that thought he was so much more than he is.
And I just can’t face him yet. I’m still too torn and raw.
“He went into the office early,” Mom tells him. “Are we meeting your mothers there, or are they coming here first? They were still deciding last we spoke.”
“There,” Collin answers. “Will we all fit in your car? Or should we take the truck too?”
“I can seat four.”
Collin looks to Gavin. “You’re not coming?”
“No,” I answer when he asks, “Where?”
“Senior Skip Day at the cliffs.”
“I’m coming,” my brother replies like he’s been waiting to be asked.
“You are not,” I say loudly. “Mom!”
“Sadie, it is family day. And whether you like to admit it or not, he is your brother. Trust me. Forty hours of labor pain. No denying he’s related as much as you wish he weren’t. Let him come.”
I roll my eyes; Jonathan laughs at me.
“Forty hours?” Collin raises his brows. “Dude, you better treat your mom like a queen.”
“I do.” Gavin sounds defensive.
My mother and I stare at him.
“Will. I will.”
Late May in upstate New York can be any temperature any given year. It snowed five years ago. I don’t know why I live here. Except I love it. It’s so confusing.
I was prepared to wear a sweater and bring a blanket. Just because we’re at the cliffs, it doesn’t mean we’ll swim. The water is absolutely freezing. It’s literally melted snow.
But today is unseasonably warm. Nearly summer-warm. Which means I’m wearing my new bathing suit beneath my beach dress. Mom took me swimsuit shopping this week and helped pick it out. It’s more flattering than any of my one-piece suits from past summers.
I help Mom spread the blanket on the rock next to ours while the guys lug a picnic basket—the size of a carry-on suitcase—onto the blanket and plop the cooler down beside it. Gavin unfolds low beach chairs for the moms and tries to snag one for himself. Mom makes sure he knows that’s not happening.
Jaz, Darcy and Danika arrive together, their moms and Darcy’s dad in tow. He’s the only father of the group today. It’s kind of funny, seeing him sitting among the women.
“Oh, he can hang,” Darcy assures me. “He was my best customer when I offered neighborhood manicures.”
I love that both of her parents are here.
I know she thinks about her birth parents and why they gave her up for adoption, but I hope she recognizes how much she’s loved by the ones in front of her.
Her mother is just like her too. She has Jaz’s mom cackling with laughter, and they’ve only been here five minutes.
“Do they have to sit so close to us?” Jaz says when her mother’s laughter cuts through the air again. I think she’s just as funny. Whenever I’m over, she tells stories that have us both laughing. It drives Jaz crazy.
“Well, I present my annoying brother,” I tell her when Gavin lays a blow-up raft in the middle of our towels to lie on. “You are welcome to shove him off the side of any cliff.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Gavin says, flicking my ear.
“Oh, I could do it,” Jaz promises.
He dips his glasses and gives her a once-over. “No doubt.” He slides his glasses on and folds his hands under his head. “Just not off Kid Killer.”
Eyes naturally drift to the cliff that looms over us like a mountain peak, jutting over the rippling river. Warning signs prevent most from jumping. There’s always an adrenaline seeker or two who defy the postings. It has a reputation for a reason.
“Don’t call it that.” Jonathan’s words silence us all.
Gavin nods. “Right. Sorry.”
Tension settles over our group.
The squeal of electrical feedback makes us all jump—and then laugh.
Some parents, maybe even mine, sponsored a DJ for the day. The music, thankfully, is louder than the generator being used to play it. But it still sounds faintly like a lawn mower in the background.
The girls peel off their shorts and tops, and the boys shed their shirts. I stay in my dress, not sure what to do. Not until my mom hands me a tube of sunscreen.
“Want me to get your back?” Jonathan offers in my ear, creating an instant heat no amount of sunscreen can protect me from.
“Sure.” I turn my back to him, pulling the white cotton dress over my head. I brace for the cold cream and the firm touch of his hands. When nothing happens, I turn around.
Jonathan’s on his stomach, his hands covering his face, taking deep breaths.
“What’s wrong?” I lie next to him and look around. Not sure what I missed.
Jonathan laughs into his hands. “I can’t.” He laughs again.
I smile. “What? Tell me.” I nudge his shoulder with mine.
He turns his head, propping it on his fist. A glorious smile’s on his face that has me smiling back. “Since when do you wear bikinis?”
I start laughing. “Are you serious?” I laugh louder. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer. Laughing into my neck.
“Oh, I’m serious.” He kisses my shoulder.
“Want me to ask Danika?” I grab for the sunscreen. He holds it out of my reach.
“No.” His eyes smile with him. “Just give me a minute.” We break out into laughter again.
“What are you two doing over there?” Danika calls to us, a note of teasing in her voice.
“They’re impossible to be around,” Collin grumbles. “They have a silent language. It’s ridiculous.”
“Aw,” I coo. “Are you feeling left out?” I squirt some of the sunscreen in my hand and sit up, hiding it behind my back. “You’re still my favorite person—you know that.” I move to hug him and smear sunscreen down his face.
“Are you kidding me?” Collin yells out. Everyone is laughing, including the parents on their rock. “You have declared war, my friend. You wait.”
“That wasn’t smart,” Jonathan agrees behind me.
“That was the best!” Jaz counters. “Don’t worry; we got you.” She opens her drawstring bag and inconspicuously reveals squirt guns, enough for all the girls, and winks.
Jonathan can’t put the sunscreen on my back without both of us breaking out in fits of laughter, which has our friends looking at us funny. The girls leave us to invade the parents’ rock for drinks and snacks.
“Don’t know if Sadie told you, but I’ll be sticking around Hollis next year,” Collin tells my brother.
“That would mean my brother and I talk,” I say, rubbing sunscreen onto my legs.
Gavin ignores me. “Really? You should come to the city whenever you’re bored of this place.”
I open my mouth to ask why he’d do that when he’ll be visiting us in Pennsylvania. Then shut it when Collin nods. “Sounds good. You can show me that bar that doesn’t look closely at fakes.”
Gavin chuckles.
I look between them. I can’t hold back any longer. “What is going on?” My eyes widen. I never would’ve believed. Not in a million years. I gape at Collin. “Are you the reason—”
“No,” Gavin cuts me off, knowing exactly where I’m going with this. “He knows about it.” They exchange a look. “Last summer.”
Collin’s eyes widen. He suddenly gets it. “Oh! Right. I figured you knew.”
“From who? You didn’t tell me!” I nod to my brother. “He wasn’t going to.”
“Right.” Collin nods in recognition of this truth.
“Can someone clue me in?” Jonathan asks.
“These two spent last summer—”