PROLOGUE
RED
The noise of the oxygen concentrator machine was loud in the quiet room, broken only by the raspy sound of Ruth’s breathing.
It was just the two of us in the room. I wanted this time to say goodbye to her.
The woman who had been mine from the age of sixteen when she’d told me to take a hike.
As a legacy in the Queens Wraiths MC, I thought I was hot stuff.
I’d been so bloody obnoxious at that age, but I’d known as soon as I’d seen her in the record shop that I wanted her to be mine.
It had taken me weeks, but I’d finally worn her down, and we’d gone on a date.
Two years later I’d turned twenty, and on her eighteenth birthday we’d married.
We’d taken a while to have Luca thinking it would never happen.
We’d had Roman almost two years to the day after Luca.
We’d thought we were done after Roman. We’d all but given up trying for more children and then our Lizzie had come along.
Fuck, we’d been so young thinking we knew what the world was all about. We’d known nothing. But we’d made it in the end, and we’d been happy despite the hardships that life threw at us.
We’d been talking about retirement. Chains was ready to take over as President and with Maestro as his VP, I knew the MC was in good hands.
And then Ruthie got sick. I hadn’t been prepared for how hard it would hit me. Forty-two years of loving her seemed to have gone in the blink of an eye. And here we were. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
Ruthie sighed, tightened her grip on my hand and turned her head towards me.
“Deck,” she smiled, and it was like the girl I’d known was back again. Bright blue eyes clear for the first time in months. Her long blonde hair was all gone, but to me she was just as beautiful now as she’d been then.
“Hey baby,” I whisper, kissing the knuckles of her hand, making her smile.
“We’ve had a good life haven’t we, honey,” she whispers.
“Yeah, sweetheart we have.” I agree.
“I’m sorry I’m leaving you but I want you to know that I’ve never once regretted marrying you.”
Tears prick my eyes and roll down my cheeks. “Me either Ruthie, you were always too good for me. Love you so much baby. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“Love you Deck Ivor, don’t be sad. I’ll always be with you in your memories, in our children and grandchildren,” Ruthie says softly as her eyes close and she drifts off to sleep as she’s been doing more and more often recently.
Her grip on my hand is still tight, and I know I should get up and call our boys and Lizzie to come in, but I find that I can’t.
Resting my head on the bed near her hip, I think back on our life, all the good memories interspersed with some of the bad, because there’s always a balance, runs through my mind like a kaleidoscope.
“Deck.”
Lifting my head, I’m surprised to see Ruthie awake again. “One day when you’re ready a woman is going to come into your life. She’ll be your second chance. I want you to take it and live life to the fullest.”
I’m shocked if not a little horrified. I couldn’t imagine having another woman in my life. Ruthie was it for me.
“WHAT?! No,” I protest.
Ruthie smiles and grips my hand harder. “Deck Ivor, you listen to me. I don’t want you alone and miserable. When she comes into your life you’ll know and you have my blessing. Promise me that you’ll take it.”
“Ruthie….”
“Promise me, Deck.”
My Ruthie, she’s a stubborn one, and I can see she’s getting agitated, so I nod my head. “I promise, sweetheart.”
She smiles and tugs weakly on my hand as if she’d used up all her strength getting me to agree to a promise I likely wasn’t going to keep.
“Good. Now get up here and kiss me.”
Chuckling softly at her bossiness, I stand up and do as she bids. It’s the last kiss we share. Not an hour later she’s gone, and I’m left with a hollow feeling that eats a hole in me, and I know I’m half the man I was without her in my life.
But life wasn’t done kicking me in the teeth and taking from me, as not even eighteen months later I was standing in the same graveyard this time watching my eldest son, Chains’ coffin being lowered into the ground next to his mother.
I wasn’t sure how I stayed standing, but I did because I had one more son, Maestro, and a daughter, Lizzie, plus my grandkids that needed me.
And an MC that was depending on its president to make decisions. Although I’m not sure that they were going to like the changes I was going to implement, I wasn’t prepared to lose any more family members and brothers if I could help it.
Making the decision to get the MC clean was a hard one, but I got it started and then passed the baton to Maestro, who finished it. I wish I’d done it years ago. Not living with constant tension and worry about Feds being constantly up our asses was fucking amazing.
Life settled down, and Maestro and Stacey finally found their way to each other, doubling our family in the blink of an eye.
I hated to admit it, but Maestro made a far better president than Chains ever would have.
And with Stacey at his side, they’d take the club places that I could only ever dream of.