Chapter 16 #3
‘Focus, Mum.’ But Sarah grinned. ‘Yes, unexpectedly, she got pregnant very quickly. My point is, for one half of a partnership to give something up or go into a new life is a big thing. And I’m scared I won’t be enough.
I’m used to it being you and I for big occasions.
Rhys has siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, so many friends I can’t even remember the names of them all.
He could marry a hotshot businesswoman who can host a decent party rather than a girl who puts on dungarees and gets covered in paint all day.
Did you know his sister threw a garden party for seventy last summer?
She has two kids, a job, and she can entertain too. ’
Chrissie put a hand on Sarah’s. She’d barely taken a breath telling her all of that.
‘Your work, going out with Keira, having fun – you will continue to do all that when you are married. When I spoke to Rhys, I didn’t get a sense that he wanted anything to change.
He is a man very much in love.’ She waited a beat before she said, ‘Did I do this, Sarah? Be honest with me… was it me pointing out the age gap, asking what was the rush, that made you panic?’
‘No, Mum. You didn’t do it. If I was totally sure then your opinion wouldn’t have mattered. Well, actually, that’s not true. It would’ve mattered, it always has, but it wouldn’t have stopped me getting married.’
Chrissie smiled. ‘Then that shows me you’re more ready than you realise. It tells me you listened to me, but at the end of the day you know this is your choice. Yours and Rhys’s. Nobody else’s.’
Sarah seemed okay but slipped right back into panic mode. ‘The wedding is in less than two weeks. The catering is sorted, the guests invited, the marquee arranged. And I feel like I’m… Like I’m Julia Roberts, and I want to run away.’
‘On horseback?’ Chrissie joked, referring to how Julia Roberts’s character in the movie The Runaway Bride left her own wedding.
‘That, or on a FedEx van. She left more than one wedding, remember.’
‘That’s true.’
‘In the movie all her plans were going swimmingly,’ said Sarah. ‘Then something reminded her of reality, something startled her, and I think that’s what’s happened to me and is the reason why I came here.’
‘When did you last talk to Rhys? Properly, I mean.’
‘We’ve only chatted a bit since I got here, not about specifics.’
‘I think he’s scared.’
Sarah’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I hate that I’m doing this to him.’
‘It’s not too late to fix it. If it was, he would never have turned up at the surgery.’
‘I keep seeing and experiencing different things – Nanna’s cooking, going up the Jungfraujoch, hearing about my dad from Jonathan, and all I want to do is tell Rhys.
I miss him. He’s the person I think about first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
I want him to sit at the table with Grumps and Nanna and eat fondue, dipping in the pieces of bread, laughing if a piece falls off his fork because it means he’s in for the entire clean-up process after dinner. ’
‘I used to love that forfeit because I never lost,’ said Chrissie. ‘It was usually Grumps.’
Sarah’s amusement didn’t last. ‘What am I supposed to do?’
‘I can’t answer that for you. Maybe just talk to him. Be honest with him. I get the feeling he’ll be relieved, no matter what it is you have to say.’
Sarah put her arms around Chrissie. ‘I love you, Mum.’
The hug and the words felt incredible. Taking a step back wasn’t easy, but she knew it was what she had to do. And Sarah was going to be just fine when she did.
‘Can I say something else without you getting annoyed at me?’ As Sarah asked the question she pulled out of the hug.
‘Of course. Anything, darling.’
‘You told me to talk to Rhys, properly. And I think that’s the right thing to do.’ Chrissie sensed what was coming next. ‘Why don’t you try to talk to Meg, while you’re both here.’
When they heard movement outside the door to the lounge Chrissie put a hand over Sarah’s. ‘I’ll think about it. I promise.’
Earl’s voice came through the closed door. ‘Is it safe to come in?’
Chrissie went to open the door. ‘Dad, don’t be daft.’
Her dad entered with a pile of little plates and her mum followed with a big platter of cheeses, pickles and crackers with little pots of chutney too. ‘Well, I had to put him to use while he was under my feet, didn’t I?’
They filled their bellies and with the fire roaring and keeping them all warm they gathered around the window that looked out onto the street, because the snow was coming down so much harder now.
‘How did it change so fast?’ Chrissie asked. It was as if someone had sprayed around the edges of the glass pane for a snow effect, except this was the real deal.
Beyond the window it was difficult to distinguish the sky from the ground. There was so much snow and the wind had picked up even more, giving low visibility with flakes blowing wildly around, creating a blizzard.
Chrissie was in the bosom of her family, and she knew that coming here in the winter this year had been the best thing she could’ve done. Hopefully Sarah would talk to Rhys soon and the pair of them would work out where they went from here.
And perhaps this Christmas it was time she started trying to do that with Meg.