Chapter 22
MEG
The family meal today had been incredible.
At times, Meg had wanted to pinch herself that she, her parents, and Chrissie and Sarah were gathered at the same table.
More than that, there was smiling, conversation, and no sign of the misery and tension that had come before.
Jonathan and Rhys had slotted right in as well.
Rhys had never had a fondue! They’d all thought that was hilarious, but Meg supposed she’d grown up partly here in Winterbruck where it hadn’t taken Astrid long to turn her cooking skills to one of Switzerland’s most beloved dishes and it had become a regular occurrence.
The meal was followed by games and Jonathan had joined in in a way Grant had never tried to.
Meg felt some regret that she’d spent so long with a man who hadn’t brought her much happiness and had left her devastated at the end, with a huge impact on her life.
But then again, perhaps she’d needed to be with Grant if only to see the sort of man who really should be in her world.
During the game of Twister, she’d wondered whether Jonathan felt the same way about her.
They’d got themselves totally twisted, as the game would suggest, and fallen in a heap, and the look he’d given her suggested he did.
But then, it had been so long since she’d even tried to read someone else’s signals or body language that she wasn’t sure.
Chrissie had teased her in the kitchen about him. Meg had gone out to fetch another bottle of white wine from the fridge, and her sister had followed her.
‘I don’t think you’ll be in the spare room for long,’ Chrissie had said quietly, one eye on the doorway to make sure they were alone.
‘Stop it,’ said Meg, although she couldn’t deny the thought hadn’t crossed her mind already.
Then Chrissie had come to her side in a way she hadn’t done since they were in their teens, conspiring, gossiping as sisters did. ‘You really like him, don’t you?’
‘He’s unlike any man I’ve ever met.’ She leaned her back against the counter. ‘Have Mum or Dad told you anything about Grant?’
‘I only know what you told me – the gambling, the lies, how he sold the chocolaterie and put you out of a job.’
Meg recapped the details of how they’d met, the early days.
‘It was fun, you know, and at the start we were caught up in the passion. And to have a shared interest carried us along. But I should’ve known there was no depth.
I can see it now, in retrospect, but back then I couldn’t.
When he offered me the job as lead chocolatier at an established chocolaterie in Camden, it was my dream role.
I felt like I’d finally landed where I should be. ’
Their dad had called out to ask where they were with the wine and Chrissie had given Meg a hug. ‘You’ll find another dream role. And as for Jonathan, maybe he’s the dream guy too.’
And as Meg followed Chrissie back into the lounge, she’d felt tears prick her eyes. Her sister had hugged her, actually made the move when she wasn’t injured, she wasn’t upset. She’d done it just because.
And it meant the world to her.
Now it was time to do what she should’ve done before and talk to her parents.
Jonathan had left, Sarah and Rhys had gone on their way, and with Nanna and Grumps in the armchairs, she and Chrissie sat next to each other on the sofa.
It was just the four of them.
‘I need to talk to you both,’ Meg began.
‘We thought you might.’ Their mum looked at her the way she had when Meg was younger. It was a sort of expectant look, one that said she was listening. ‘You can say anything, Meg. You know that.’
Meg nodded and she felt Chrissie’s hand reach out to hers. She didn’t miss the way her dad looked as shocked as she felt that the gesture had happened so naturally. She gave him a smile, but then it was time. Time to admit everything. And with Chrissie by her side, it felt a tiny bit easier.
She apologised again for the way she’d been in London, the mess she’d got herself into.
‘It sounds ridiculous even to me all these years later,’ she said.
‘But I think I needed to fall back a step to totally see the way forward.
All the partying, the lack of accountability, putting off my studies – it all pushed me in the right direction eventually.
‘I can’t even express how sorry I am for my behaviour at Chrissie’s wedding.
I’m sorry to her, to Anthony, and I’m apologising to the both of you now.
I embarrassed you, the family.’ She didn’t need to say anything about what happened at the wake – Chrissie had told her not to.
It wouldn’t make any difference, she’d said and she’d saved Meg’s humiliation at having to admit to what she’d done that day.
Having Chrissie’s support after all this time was something Meg would never take for granted.
‘Chrissie and I have talked. We’ve got a lot more talking to do, but we’ve moved forwards quite a few steps.’
Their parents were pleased, but they knew that wasn’t the end of it.
Next came Grant – the man Meg knew her parents had never really liked.
‘You were right not to trust him, Dad.’ She just about managed to hold back the tears when she told her parents how much she’d loved her job, how she’d added to the success of the business that Grant owned.
‘Grant had gambling debts and he lied about expanding the business – all the while, he was playing cards and losing over and over again. He sold up.’
‘The Cocoa Cupboard has gone?’ Her dad looked almost as devastated as she had been.
‘It has. And once again, I’ve failed. I’ve let you down.’
‘You didn’t fail,’ came her dad’s immediate response. ‘That man failed you. That man ruined things, not you.’
‘And that man has gone, I can assure you,’ said Meg.
‘He’s not going to try to come back?’ Astrid asked.
Meg shook her head. ‘No. We’re done. I never should’ve stayed with him so long. I never really loved him. I never had what you two had… what Chrissie and Anthony had.’ She felt her sister’s hand tighten around hers. ‘He’s gone. I never want to see him again and I don’t have to.’
‘You worked so hard in that business,’ said Earl. ‘It breaks my heart. Your profits soared once he had you on board. You didn’t fail; you succeeded.’
‘You really did,’ said Chrissie with a smile.
Her mum said, ‘I wish you’d told us, Meg. Don’t ever doubt that we are proud of you. We know you will pick yourself up and find another job you like just as much. More so, maybe.’
She expected her mum was also referring to Grant’s presence. She hadn’t thought before that landing a chocolatier role elsewhere without the drag of someone like Grant would turn out to be even more of a dream.
Her parents, Chrissie and Jonathan had all told her she hadn’t completely failed. She was the only one who had seen it that way. When she’d come here it had been so clear-cut in her mind given how much trouble she’d caused over the years but slowly she was learning to reframe it all.
‘I need to say some other things,’ said Meg, taking them all by surprise.
‘Anything,’ said Earl.
‘I’m not blaming you, Dad, or you, Mum, for what I did to Chrissie at her wedding.
But I want to explain why I thought marrying Anthony was a mistake.
’ She quickly looked at Chrissie to make sure this was okay, and her sister gave a little nod.
‘We both struggled over the years you worked away with the army.’ She watched her dad’s face change.
They’d never talked about it before, none of them.
‘Chrissie and I would worry ourselves silly, we knew Mum did, so we kept it to ourselves. You both know I hated moving, but what you might not know is how often Chrissie cried and I comforted her.’
Earl’s eyes glistened with tears that had sprung up in light of this revelation. ‘Is that true?’
‘It’s true,’ said Chrissie. ‘I missed you, Dad. I hated it when you were away, but I never said anything because I was always so happy when you came home.’
‘It’s why I felt sure that Chrissie marrying Anthony was a mistake,’ Meg told them.
‘I didn’t want her to go through what you went through, Mum.
’ She didn’t need to admit to reading the diaries; they would’ve seen enough of their mum’s reactions to piece her feelings together.
‘I wanted her to have a home, to feel safe.’ She shook her head, got up and went to hug her dad because she’d upset him.
‘I always felt safe, Dad. I didn’t mean that, and I know you did your best. It’s why we both love you so much and why that will never, ever change.
I just wanted to be completely honest with all of you today. ’
Astrid wiped her eyes on a tissue. ‘I tried to keep my worry from you girls. I didn’t know how upset you got, Chrissie.’
‘I never resented you for it, Mum. You were strong for yourself, for Dad, for us. And I had Meg.’
Meg faced her sister. She had Chrissie now. After all this time, they could be there for each other again.
‘What about coming here to Winterbruck to live?’ Astrid asked Meg. ‘You seemed happy some of the time, and it was our last move.’
‘I was happy for a while, but I think I was always waiting to up sticks and go somewhere else. We never did, but perhaps that was what was behind me going to London. It was a change, but it was a change I was in control of. Bad spell included.’
‘It got you where you needed to be, I suppose,’ said Astrid.
Meg nodded. ‘The world of chocolate. I got there eventually.’
‘Now there’s a world you will always belong in,’ said her dad with a smile that broke through any upset she’d caused.
When Meg finally made her way from her parents’ back to Jonathan’s chalet next door, she hoped today’s gathering would be the first of many for their family, which was still right there, intact. And she wanted to hold on to it forever.
* * *
‘Night cap?’ Jonathan asked as soon as she stepped inside the chalet out of the snow.
It had started to fall again, just softly, prettily, in time for Christmas Eve tomorrow which would bring a whole lot of joy now the family were at the stage they were.
And Rhys was here for Sarah too. She could see how happy that made her niece and Chrissie.
She removed her boots and shook off the excess snow before she closed the front door. ‘You’re not tired?’ she asked Jonathan.
‘Not yet.’ The words weren’t suggestive at all, nor was the way he’d said them, but the way he was looking at her made her tummy do a somersault with nerves.
Meg hadn’t felt like this about any man in a long time.
It was as though she’d been numb to love and relationships.
And being around Jonathan only highlighted what she and Grant had had.
Or rather what they hadn’t. Their relationship had had some passion at the start, but then it had merely become convenient.
A habit. And not a good one. She wondered how much he’d used her, given her skills and expertise as a chocolatier.
With her at the helm he’d been free to go off under the guise of looking at premises to expand, have meetings, negotiate terms – all the things he’d lied about when really he was busy losing The Cocoa Cupboard.
Being with Grant, Meg had never considered that perhaps she could have more.
‘Hot chocolate or hot buttered rum?’ Jonathan offered.
‘Either.’ She moved to take off her coat, but he stepped closer, put his hand over hers to stop her undoing the buttons.
‘I thought we might take our drinks outside and enjoy them on the patio.’
Romantic. ‘We can watch the snow fall.’
‘Yes, we can watch the snow fall.’ He didn’t leave her straight away; he kept his gaze on hers, the tension between them. ‘I had a really good time today.’
‘I did too.’
He gulped, nerves surfacing. And he turned to go into the kitchen.
As he ladled out the portions of hot buttered rum from the slow cooker, she watched this strong, dependable, handsome man who all of a sudden was nervous.
When he’d found her lost out there in the blizzard, she’d been asleep.
She’d woken to the sound of a deep voice, felt someone scoop her up, and when she opened her eyes, it was to see Jonathan.
In his arms, she’d never felt so safe. She hadn’t said a word; she’d simply let herself be held.
The next thing she knew, paramedics had taken over and she was on the way to the hospital.
Jonathan had been the first person she saw once the doctor cleared her.
He’d brought her safely back here to Winterbruck, and that was the night she realised she wouldn’t be able to leave Switzerland without telling him how she felt.
She went over to his side. She didn’t say a word; she simply put a hand against his chest when he turned round. She couldn’t even look up into his eyes. ‘Jonathan, I need to say something.’
He stepped back. ‘Are you going to tell me you’re not interested?’
Confused, she asked, ‘In the drink?’
‘No, in me.’
She felt something akin to relief. ‘I was about to tell you that I’ve got feelings for you. Good feelings, I mean.’
He allowed himself a cautious smile. ‘Is now the right time to tell you that I have good feelings about you too?’
‘I’d say it’s an excellent time.’
He closed the gap between them, his hands on either side of her face, his mouth close to hers.
They forgot about the hot buttered rum, no matter how delicious it was. All they needed was each other and it soon became obvious that her sister was right. She wasn’t going to be sleeping in the spare room tonight.
And as she lay in Jonathan’s arms, cosy and warm, watching the snow beyond the window as he slept beside her, the first person she couldn’t wait to tell was Chrissie.