Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Echo
She’s looking at me differently.
I noticed it at the diner, somewhere between her second cup of coffee and her last bite of food. It’s subtle, a shift I’m sure most people wouldn’t notice. But I’m not most people, and I notice everything. Especially when it comes to her.
Bambi’s eyes are softer now, clearer. The hesitation I grew accustomed to seeing behind them is nearly gone, and the perpetual line of frustration between her brows has actually softened.
Even now, without even looking directly at her in my passenger seat, I can feel the difference in her gaze. Before last night, she couldn’t look away from me fast enough. Now, her gaze lingers. She started staring at the diner and hasn’t stopped since.
“Bambi.”
“Yes?” She says, sitting up straighter in her seat.
“Stop staring at me. It’s distracting.”
She blinks and her mouth falls open.
“I am not staring at you.”
“Yes, you are.” I say smoothly. “You have been for a while. I would’ve said something sooner, but you know how much I like having your eyes on me.”
Her cheeks turn a deep crimson and she grimaces as she crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not staring, you egomaniac. I was just zoning out and thinking.”
“About me?” I ask, giving her a sidelong glance as I tap my thumbs against the steering wheel.
“Actually,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me, “I was thinking about how twisted the universe is. I mean, why else would it give such a pretty face to someone as narcissistic as you? It has to be some kind of cruel cosmic joke.”
I glance at her and smile. “It’s even prettier when you’re sitting on it.”
Her eyes flare, and the sound that comes out of her mouth is a mix between a laugh and a choke.
“What is wrong with you?” She manages. “You can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it should be kept private.”
“It’s just us in here, Bambi.”
“Still, there are rules—”
“Not ones I agreed to.”
She turns in her seat to glare at me, trying hard to look angry and failing miserably at it. “You are deranged.”
“And yet, you still want me around.”
“When did I say that?”
“You invited me to breakfast.”
“A momentary slip of judgement.”
Her words sink in, and for some reason they hit harder than I expected. For a second, I sit there, unsure of what to say. I know we’re giving each other shit, that this is what we always do to each other, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s what she really thinks.
“Is that what last night was, too?” I ask. Trying not to sound as invested in her answer as I am. “A mistake?”
“No.” She says quickly, uncrossing her arms as her voice takes on a much softer tone. “I’m glad you were there.”
I clench my jaw and stare out at the road ahead to keep my expression from doing anything I’ll regret. “I am too.”
The silence that follows is filled with words neither of us are willing to say out loud.
Our exit approaches in the distance, and I quietly shift into the right lane. I’m supposed to be taking her back to her bookstore. Back to her normal routine, and to the walls she’s so carefully built around herself. Back to the version of her that won’t let anyone see what she showed me today.
I clench my jaw and squeeze the steering wheel until my knuckles lose their color.
I’m not ready to go back yet.
I might not ever be.
I press my foot against the accelerator, and the exit that leads us back to Better Than Fiction comes and goes. Bambi catches it immediately.
“You missed the exit.”
“I know.”
She turns her head towards me and arches an eyebrow. “Are you going to take the next one?”
“No.”
“Echo, what the fuck.” She says, twisting in her seat and scowling at me. “What about my car?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine for a few more hours.”
“And the store?” She asks, glancing down at the time on her phone before looking back up at me. “I’m supposed to open in an hour.”
“When’s the last time you took a day off?”
She opens her mouth and pauses, trying and failing to come up with an answer.
“Exactly.”
She exhales through her nose and sinks back into her seat as her arms cross over her chest. The fire in her eyes dims slightly. “At least tell me where we’re going.”
I consider telling her before I think better of it and keep my mouth shut. There’s no way to explain where we’re going without explaining why, and there’s no way to explain why without scaring her off.
“You’ll see.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“I know.” I glance over at her. “But you’ll like this one.” I pause. “You trust me?”
She’s quiet for a beat, then sighs as she turns to look out her window. “Unfortunately.”
The second we pull up to the gates in front of the Sannikov estate, Bambi’s eyes go wide. She leans forward in her seat, and her lips part as she stares at the long driveway ahead of us.
I head up the driveway, and as soon as the house comes into view, she sucks in a breath.
“Is this where you live?” She asks, swiveling her head between both sides of the property.
I give her a nod.
“It’s…” she pauses, chewing on her lower lip, “big.”
I laugh. “It’s not just mine. I share it with my brother and sister and our best friend.” I cut the engine, slip out of the car, and open the passenger door.
“Come in with me.” I say, nodding my head towards the house. “It’ll be quick.”
Bambi agrees, and she follows me inside, her footsteps soft on the marble floors. I can sense her taking everything in. The high ceilings, the expensive art on the walls. The luxury touches that don’t announce themselves, but can’t be hidden either.
I've lived within these walls my entire life. I know every room, every corridor, every corner. But seeing her in it makes it finally feel like home.
“Wait here,” I say, guiding her into my room. “I’m just going to grab a key from my office. I’ll be right back.”
She nods, looking around the room like she’s trying to piece together who I am based on my belongings.
I leave the room and head down the hall to slip into my office. The key is at the bottom of my desk drawer, and after digging for it, I pocket it and turn to leave.
“Hey.” River says, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and his expression unreadable. “You got a minute?”
“What’s up?”
He glances down the hall towards my bedroom, where Dahlia is waiting. “You brought someone home.”
“I did.”
“You’ve never done that before.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
River eyes bore into mine, trying to read what I’m not saying. “Who is she?” He asks.
“No one.”
The lie tastes wrong the second it leaves my mouth, and from the look on River’s face, he knows it too.
“No one,” he repeats slowly, stepping further into my office. “You don’t bring ‘no one’ into our home, Echo. You don’t miss work for ‘no one.’ And you sure as hell don’t look like you’ve been put through hell for ‘no one’.”
I clench my jaw and glare at him, refusing to give him anything.
He studies me and I can see him trying to piece it together. “I’m worried about you,” he says finally, sounding as exhausted as I feel.
That catches me off guard, and for a second I don’t know what to say. River can be overbearing, and he doesn’t always understand the way my mind works, but he’s never been worried about me. Not like this, at least. “Why?”
“You’ve been different for weeks now. Distracted. Making mistakes.” He shifts his weight. “Briggs told me about the interrogation. Said you weren’t focused. Said someone almost got away because you were in your head.”
My jaw tightens. “We handled it.”
“Barely.” He moves towards me, but there’s no threat in his advance, just concern. “That’s not you, Echo. You don’t make mistakes. You don’t lose focus. You don’t bring people here.” He pauses. “So, really, what’s going on? What is she to you?”
Everything.
Nothing I can explain.
“I’m handling it,” I say instead.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the one you’re getting.”
River exhales slowly. “You didn’t check in last night. Athena was worried sick. She thought something happened to you.”
Fuck. I should’ve called. I usually do when I know I’m not coming home, just so they don’t assume the worst.
“She told me you haven’t been sleeping,” River continues. “That you’ve been disappearing at all hours. That you treat your phone like it’s a lifeline.” He pauses, and his voice drops. “This girl, whoever she is, she’s got you twisted up in a way I’ve never seen before.”
“I said I’m handling it.”
“Are you?” He crosses his arms. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re barely holding it together. And that scares the shit out of me.”
I clench my jaw and swallow.
“Look,” River says, his voice softening slightly. “If you care about her—”
“I do.” The words are out before I can stop them. “I care about her more than I should. More than is smart. More than—” I cut myself off, running a hand through my hair. “Fuck.”
River goes quiet, and when I look up, there’s understanding in his eyes.
“How bad is it?” He asks quietly.
“Bad enough that I can’t think straight when she’s around.
Bad enough that I haven’t slept in weeks because I’m too busy making sure she’s safe.
Bad enough that—” I stop, because the rest of that sentence is too much, even for him.
Bad enough that I’d blow my whole life up if it meant keeping her alive.
“Echo—”
“I know what you’re going to say,” I cut him off. “That it’s a liability. That caring about someone makes you weak. That I need to get my head straight before it gets us all killed.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
I look up, doing a shit job of hiding the surprise on my face.
River frowns at me. “I was going to say, be careful. Because someone who can make you lose focus like this? That’s someone who can destroy you if you’re not careful.”
“I know,” I say quietly.
“Does she know?” River asks. “How you feel?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’s not ready to hear it. Because she’s scared of this. Of me. And if I tell her, she’ll run. So I’m giving her time. Letting her come to it on her own terms.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
I don’t reply because I don’t know what to say to that. Bambi and I are inevitable. I feel it in my bones, and I can’t see this playing out any other way.
River watches me for another moment, then nods slowly. “Alright. But if whatever this is puts you or our family at risk, you need to tell me.”
“It won’t.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes, I can. I’ll make sure of it.”
For a second River looks like he wants to argue, but then he thinks better of it and steps aside to let me through.
“For what it’s worth.” He says, stopping me just as I brush past him. “If this is you happy, then I’m happy. We all are. I just hope she’s worth it.”
She is. I think to myself. She’s worth everything.