I’ll Find You

Prologue

Rose

The first time I understood what love could do to a person, I watched it destroy my mother.

I remember very little of her, only faint pieces of memory that surface from time to time.

The images come without warning and disappear just as fast, leaving me unsure whether they truly belong to the past or if my mind created them to soften the absence she left behind.

Then there are others I can’t question. They return with a clarity that leaves no room for doubt.

My mother, afraid in a way that seemed to consume her from within, worn down until there was almost nothing left but the instinct to endure, until even that gave way to pleading for an end she was never granted.

When my father’s attention turned to me, something in her changed.

What remained of her gathered itself in a final act of defiance, not out of hope that anything would change, but out of a desperate need to keep me from becoming what she already was.

She fought until her body could no longer sustain her, until there was nothing left for him to take, until every last resistance gave way.

I watched devotion become possession. I watched hope rot into despair. That was when I understood a truth most people spend their lives avoiding.

Love doesn’t make you stronger. When it was over, I made myself a promise. I would never love someone enough to let them destroy me.