Chapter 26 - Ben
Melanie wasn’t taking my calls.
The first few times I tried to call Kyle, he had started to rip into me from the moment he answered and refused to give her the phone. I was a little surprised by how much his anger hurt.
He was my oldest friend.
I never doubted that he’d take his sister’s side, but part of me had thought he’d at least HEAR my side.
Decades worth of friendship just gone, without so much as a conversation.
I didn’t even want to know how mad her parents were.
They’d become surrogate parents to me over the years, since my own had been such failures.
It had been three days since that horrible phone call with the lawyer, and I knew that my letter from Barb was due to arrive today.
Frank was still trying to convince me to just sign the papers and beg Melanie to let bygones be bygones…
but I was still struggling with the idea of a life without her in it.
A part of me was hoping that these letters would have the answer for me, and the other part was terrified to see what was in them.
The house felt too large and too empty without Melanie in it.
When we bought this place, we had planned on filling at least two of the spare rooms with children, but as the years went on, I was enjoying my lifestyle too much to imagine changing it by becoming a father.
I knew that even if I was a cheating husband, I’d never settle for being anything less than the kind of father Kyle and Mel had grown up with.
We'd made choices and changes that reflected our desire to build a family someday. The backyard had been carefully renovated to be completely flat so that it would be safe for clumsy little feet. Last year, after I had turned down Melanie’s request to start a family for the third time, I finally put a hot tub in the backyard for her, one that, apparently, she had removed after catching Angela and I in it.
Angela had been calling me relentlessly, all week, and Frank eventually had to threaten to get a no-contact order on her if she didn’t chill the fuck out.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with her shit on top of everything else right now.
Plus, she had deluded herself into believing we were going to end up together, like we’d been destined lovers in some tragic love story rather than the adulterous sinners we really were.
I knew I’d need to call her back as soon as I decided what to do about the divorce papers, otherwise she would likely show up on my doorstep and make this already volatile situation a million times worse.
Ms. Richards had set up another appointment with me for this afternoon.
She said that she wanted to see me after I read the letter from Barb, just in case it wasn’t good.
I had no idea how she planned on helping me if that was true, but either way, I knew I needed to log the hours if I was going to use going to therapy as part of my defense.
Logically, it made sense that someone would need a session after reading the last words a loved one had left for them.
I wandered into the living room and picked up the blanket that my wife had left behind. It was our movie night blanket, and until a few months ago, we’d spent at least one Friday night a month cuddled up together under it.
When did I stop prioritizing our marriage traditions?
When you decided to fuck someone who was able to be a daily distraction, moron.
Even the forensic accountant said that over the past few months, I’d gotten sloppy with purchases.
Stupidly, I had let Angela be in charge of booking our reservations, and apparently her own gifts, and she’d used the joint bank account instead of the one I usually used.
Which was even more ammunition for Mel’s lawyer to use against me in court.
He also warned us that the paper trail for my fraudulent movements was easily traced, and much to Frank’s horror, some of it could be linked to him too.
He’d been a whiny prick about it ever since.
“I won’t go to jail for your ego,” he had shouted at me and then hung up.
No one is going to jail. He’ll get over it.
Frank had told Barb's lawyer, some older woman back in North Dakota, to deliver the letter to his office. He was worried that I’d do something stupid if left to my own devices. He had all but threatened to lock me up in his basement to keep me from giving him any more headaches.
When my phone dinged, I knew it was him without even looking.
Frank: It’s here.
Me: On my way.
· · ─ ·?· ─ · ·
Frank was waiting for me in his office with a bored expression on his face.
“You can read it here, or you can read it in the conference room but your phone stays here.” His eyes dared me to argue, and I had to bite back the urge to tell him to fuck off.
“I’ll take it in the conference room.” I tossed my phone on his desk, and he handed me the thick envelope.
So, Grama Barb must’ve written me multiple letters, too.
In the conference room, I took my time pulling each smaller envelope out of the large one.
They were all addressed to Benjamin, and each one had a date beside it- the oldest being from when I was a freshman in high school.
There were six in total, meaning the woman had updated her will six times in the last fifteen years.
I started with the oldest first, and my hands shook as I opened it.
Dearest Benjamin,
If you are reading this, then I have left this world for a new adventure.
I’m writing this picturing the fourteen year old boy who was running laps around my house just yesterday to train for the soccer team.
I want you to know that I have always been grateful that Kyle brought you into our family.
You have been the brother that none of us knew he needed.
If you are reading this, you’ve also been told that I’ve left you something in my will.
I know that you won’t want to take it, but you deserve to get an education, you deserve to build a life for yourself, and you deserve to get away from those folks who call themselves your parents.
I wish it were more, but it should pay for a semester of college and a car, or a couple of semesters.
If you work hard at school, you might get scholarships and then it can pay for a car and a safety net.
Life is going to be tough for you; there will be hurdles that others don’t face, but there will also be good things.
Leonard and my daughter will do everything they can to make it easier, but you must not let your struggles change your heart.
You don’t have to be your father’s son; you can be so much more.
With love,
G-Barb
There was a tightness in my chest when I finally set the first letter down.
I’d forgotten about the silly nickname that Kyle and I had come up with for Barb.
We decided we were ‘too cool’ to be calling her Grama anymore.
At fourteen, I was doing anything I could to avoid being home, whether that meant soccer practice, spending time at the Walsh’s, or even chores at G-Barb's house. Barbara had given me the money to get out of that town: it hadn’t been much… but to me, it had been everything.
The next envelope was sitting on top of the stack and was dated for the year after I started college. Melanie and I had been dating for over a year, and she was in her junior year of high school. I opened this one quicker, almost rushed.
Rip the Band-Aid off.
Benjamin,
This is the second time I’ve updated my will since adding you.
I’m sure it won’t be the last. There have been some changes to the will, the one that impacts you the most is that I’ve already gifted you the money that was mentioned in the last one.
I’m so proud of you for making it through the first year of college.
Melanie brags about your grades and accomplishments every time you tell her something new.
That girl loves you. I don’t know if I’m breaking some grandmother’s code by telling you this, but I’m sure she’s already said so. Be good to her.
Keep up the good work, Ben. We are all so proud. I will see you at Thanksgiving.
With love,
G-Barb.
I smiled. By that point, we only called her G-Barb when we were teasing her; she used to tell us that she didn’t need a gangster name, but we always knew that she secretly loved it.
The third letter was dated six months after I proposed to Melanie.
Benjamin,
You and my girl moved to California, and I miss you both terribly. It’s an interesting feeling, being so happy for you both and also wishing you’d both stayed closer to home.
As I’m sure you’ve assumed, I’m updating my will yet again.
This time, to include one percent of the shares of Leonard’s company.
I currently hold three percent, and plan to distribute them between Kyle, Melanie, and you.
My hope is that it will help provide for the life Melanie and you are building.
With love,
Grama Barb.
The fourth was dated after our wedding and contained a longer letter than the last.
Benjamin,
If you are reading this, then you are married to my beautiful granddaughter, and I’m no longer around to keep an eye on her. This honor has been passed on to you.