Chapter 32 - Ben #2
“Mel…” Mr. Walsh started to say.
“Dad, right outside.” She assured him. His jaw twitched, and his eyes bounced between us before he sighed and nodded.
“Wha- NO!” Kyle sputtered.
“Let's go.” Mrs. Walsh said firmly to her son and tapped his chin to pull his eyes down to her. “She’s an adult.” She murmured. He growled something, and she shook her head. He shot me a disgusted look and pointed a finger at me.
“If you make her cry, I’ll end you.” He threatened and stomped out of the room.
The others followed her silently with varying looks of disgust thrown my way. Once the door closed behind them, I hurried to the chair that Mrs. Walsh had vacated.
“I won’t touch you.” I said hurriedly when she started to raise her hand again. “I’m just going to sit.”
She gave a wary nod and told me my five minutes had started.
“First, I’m so sorry for everything.” I rushed to say, and she rolled her eyes. “Second, what happened why are you here?”
“I fainted. I went to long without a meal and let myself get a little dehydrated. I’m fine.” She insisted with an adorable scowl.
“Are you sure?” I leaned forward and looked for signs of injury.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Her voice hadn’t softened.
“Okay…” I nodded and tried to figure out where to steer the conversation next.
“If that’s all you can go.” She pushed.
“Melanie, can’t we fix this?” I pleaded. She scoffed and stared at me with more disgust in her eyes than I’d ever seen her direct at anything.
“Are you kidding me?” she asked, her voice low and trembling. “Ben, you have NO idea what you’ve done… At first, I thought all you did was cheat on me, ruin our marriage, break my heart, and destroy my self-esteem.” I flinched.
Oh, is that all…
“But no, it’s so much worst than that. My grandmother died carrying your secret…
she died letting me sleep next to a liar and a cheat.
She died ashamed of herself. Your inability to keep your dick in your pants left me feeling betrayed not only by you, but by her.
” Melanie’s voice cracked as the tears started to trickle down her cheeks.
The devastation on her beautiful face left me feeling cold.
“I know… I know.” I whimpered and pushed to my feet.
The chair tipped over backwards with a clang, and Melanie jumped.
I hurried to pick it up and then paced by the foot of the bed.
Far enough away where she didn’t feel unsafe, but close enough where I didn’t feel like I was suffocating.
“She told me in her letters. God, Mel… She was so disappointed in me. I can’t- you know she was the only grandmother I ever had, and it kills me to know that she hated me in the end. ”
“What did you expect to happen?”
Such a simple question. A logical one. The answer was just as simple, but I was embarrassed to admit it.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get caught.” I whispered. I could tell she heard me when her nostrils flared. Then she started to laugh.
“Of course you didn’t. Little na?ve Mel.”
I hated the self-deprecating tone she used when it hadn’t been her fault.
“No. Stupid Ben.” I corrected and then tugged at my hair. “Sex and love aren’t the same thing to me. I know that sounds stupid, but I’m a guy. It was easy to separate the two.” I blurted out, and her eyes widened. “It didn’t mean anything.”
The cliché words fell short in the quiet room, and my shoulders dropped.
“Do you want to read the letter?” I asked.
That made her sit upright, and she nodded. I sighed and pulled out my phone.
“I took a picture of it.” I handed her the phone and watched as her eyes darted back and forth, reading line by line the handwritten beat down her grandmother had given me as her farewell. I knew the second she had finished reading it because her shoulders relaxed and she squeezed her eyes closed.
She held the phone out to me without opening her eyes and took slow, measured breaths.
“Thank you.” She whispered. “I didn’t realize that I needed to know what she said to you. That I needed to know she hadn’t made excuses for you or tried to forgive you.” Her eyes opened again slowly, and they were shiny but calm. “She didn’t.” She said softly, relieved.
“She said I was my father.” I choked out and then turned my head away from her, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions.
“She reminded you that you can be better than him.” Melanie snapped. “I’m not going to comfort you about her final words, Benjamin.”
“I- that’s not what I want.” I protested.
“It is. You are uncomfortable being treated like the villain even though you were okay with acting like one. You want me to absolve you of the way you’re feeling and I’m not going to.”
“Melanie.” I held up my hands and shook my head, “I don’t want to fight.”
“Then go home, sign the papers, and end this charade.” She replied, and I felt my chest tighten.
“Is that really what you want?” I fell to my knees. “I’ll beg. I’ll do whatever you want.” I felt like my heart was cracking. I couldn’t imagine my world without Melanie and the Walshs in it. Who would even be left?
Frank?
Angela?
I shivered at that thought.
“Yes, it’s really what I want.” Her voice was steady, and her eyes were cold.
“I really appreciate you sharing that with me. It brought me a lot of comfort, but you have to know this can’t be fixed?
” her eyes searched mine, “If you sign the papers Ms. Yang already sent, then I won’t pursue the full amount allotted by the prenup.
Nor will I investigate deeper into the affairs or finances.
” The look on her face told me she knew more than she’d let on.
I weighed the options silently and then rose to my feet with a jerky nod.
“I don't care about the prenup. You can have anything you want." I lied. "And I don’t want a divorce, but if it’s what you need… I’ll do it.”
The look of relief on her face was like a knife to the heart. Her entire body slumped at my words, and a small smile settled on her face.
“Thank you.” She breathed out, “thank you for putting my needs first.”
“My lawyer will call yours,” I said brusquely. “I-I’m glad you are ok. I need to go.”
She nodded and looked to the door. “Send them back in on your way out.”
I stood there for a few more seconds and took in every detail of my wife.
“Can… can I hug you?” I asked. She hesitated. Irritation, disgust, sadness, longing, and finally resignation flitted across her face while she debated with herself.
“A small one.” She relented.
I moved quickly to her side and sat on the edge of her bed. She stiffened and then let me pull her into my arms. Her hands sat limply on my sides, and her cheek was pressed against my collarbone as I pressed my nose into her hair and breathed in the smell of her shampoo.
“I’ll give you what you need, but I’m not giving up on us.” I mumbled into the top of her head, and she pulled away.
“Ben…” she said warily as I jumped to my feet and crossed the room.
“I love you. You’ll see.” I promised and stepped out of the room into the hallway where my firing squad awaited.
Mr. and Mrs. Walsh were having a tense, whispered conversation a few feet down the hall.
Kyle was staring down at his phone and rapidly typing to someone, but Griffin.
.. Griffin's eyes had been on the door the entire time. Watching and waiting.
“She’s ready for you guys to go back in.” I stared at Mr. and Mrs. Walsh and tried to ignore the deep ache of regret that was throbbing in my chest. The kind that comes from not knowing what you’ve got until you’ve lost it.
Kyle stalked past me with a dark glower and let his silence speak for him. Mrs. Walsh paused, briefly, with tears in her eyes, and whispered goodbye. A muffled whimper escaped from me, and she winced.
I cleared my throat and whispered back a weak apology.
I’m sorry. I’ll miss you. Forgive me. I internally screamed.
Mr. Walsh was next, and his eyes held none of the grief that Mrs. Walsh’s had; instead, I looked into the eyes of the man who had tried to teach me how to be a man and saw nothing but disappointment looking back at me. The weight of his stare made me want to curl in on myself.
“You'll leave her alone.” He said without emotion.
“I told her I’ll sign.” I croaked out.
He looked surprised and then nodded. Then, to my surprise, he placed one hand on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze.
“That… Benjamin, is what putting someone else first looks like. It may hurt right now, but in the long run, I hope you find that it encourages you to become a better man.” He didn’t wait for my reply before he rejoined his family.
A family that no longer included me. A family that, based on their reactions, wasn't quite as far out of my reach as I had originally feared.
Griffin stood before me and watched as I pulled myself together. He was the last person I wanted as an audience to my downfall.
“What?” I snapped.
“If you get home and start to think to yourself that maybe you can change her mind… just know, I personally went through all of the security footage, backed up, decrypted, and re-encrypted all of the files on the household electronics, and updated the security systems to better protect private communications, images, and banking information.” He let the words hang in the air as the meaning behind them sank in.
He had just told me that, without doing anything illegal, he had hacked into everything that he could and protected any evidence of my wrongdoings.
Once he knew that I had read between the lines, he continued, “Melanie has no need to keep any of it once the divorce is finalized. But, if for some reason this got messy, and she was forced to go to court, then she would need to turn over anything that we had found in order to protect herself.”
“Are you threatening me?” I growled and stepped into his personal space.
“Me?” Griffin feigned shock, “What could I possibly be threatening you with?” He smirked and stepped around me. “Get home safely, Benjamin. We will be waiting to hear from your lawyer. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon.”
I stood frozen in place as the door to my wife’s room clicked shut once again behind me.
How the fuck did everything get so out of control?
It took me several beats to force myself to move. I passed by the nurse’s station in a daze as they wished me a good day.
“I can’t believe they got Dr. Teller to come in on his day off.” I vaguely heard a nurse say.
“I know, I never thought I’d see the day when the Chief of Obstetrics and Gynecology would be dragged in because a pregnant woman fainted.” The second voice giggled.
Pregnant woman…