Chapter 39 - Ben #2
“You can go; everyone is going to get along just fine today… right, Mr. Landon?” Penelope was dismissing the officer that they had posted by the door as she smirked at me.
The officer looked at Don, who nodded in agreement, then he informed us that he’d be just outside the door and to follow the rules, or the meeting would be terminated.
I nodded and looked at my wife. It had been almost two months since the last time I had seen her, and she was finally beginning to show.
She’s got to be five or six months along.
“We are here today because your client requested a supervised settlement conference, we brought the papers for Mr. Landon to sign.”
“My client is ready and willing to sign whatever Mrs. Landon wants from him but he would like five minutes to speak to her—with us present of course.” Don stated and folded his hands on the table.
I had never met a man so impassive in my life.
Penelope looked at Melanie, and my wife nodded, and turned her attention to me.
“What do you want, Ben?” she asked, her voice was like a balm on an open wound.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think… nothing but time really.
” I mumbled, “I know my apologies don’t mean anything and I know that you rightfully hate me, but I wanted you to know that it was never your fault…
not any of it. You were perfect and I was just too fucked up to realize that I would lose you. ”
Her eyes widened and her lips thinned.
“I don’t say that because I didn’t believe you’d have the strength to leave me—” she gave me an incredulous look, “I thought I was invincible and that if somehow you did find out you’d be able to forgive me.” I admitted.
“Was there ever a time you even tried to be loyal?” she said quietly.
“Not for long enough to count.” I forced myself to admit, “there were a couple of times where I went months without even looking at other women, but then I’d meet with a high profile client and take them out or I’d have drinks with the guys, and they’d start talking about their conquests and that ridiculous FOMO feeling would start to bubble up again. ”
“Then why stay with me?”
“There was never, and I mean never, a woman who could’ve taken me from you in my mind or heart. I never wanted to leave you, I just also wanted to be the cool bachelor. Basically, I’m an idiot?”
She gave a dry laugh and narrowed her eyes at me.
“How is the baby?” I whispered and looked at where she was rubbing the little bump.
“Good. Growing right on schedule.” She looked wary.
“Do you know what—” I swallowed hard, “what you’re having?”
She eyed me silently for a long moment.
“I won’t find out for another two weeks what we are having.” She finally replied. “Would you like me to keep you updated on the baby through your lawyer?”
“Th-you would do that for me?” My eyes filled with tears.
“I’m not promising anything more than a few updates, but yes.” Her eyes looked shinier, too.
“Thank you…” I choked out.
“Ben, I’m willing to find some sort of way to keep you involved in our child’s life but only if you are a healthy and safe addition. Otherwise, it’s best that they do not know anything about you.” She shook her head.
“I’m probably going to be in here for a long time.” I admitted quietly.
“I know. That doesn’t mean I can’t tell them who you are and tell you about them.
They even have programs for families so that inmates can video chat with their children or even see them in—” she looked around the room, “better environments than this. But that’s getting ahead of ourselves.
” She glanced at Yang, who jerked her head at the papers on the table.
“First, we need to finish this divorce, then we will learn how to put our feelings aside for our child.”
I hung my head. “You are going to be the hardest thing I ever lose…”
“Does it make me an asshole if I say I hope so?” A tiny smile twitched on her lips, and for the first time in months, her eyes softened when she looked at me.
A loud snort tore out of me, “I don’t think so.” I shook my head with a rueful grin on my face. Melanie had always had that sarcastic wit that took you by surprise and knocked you on your ass.
“Good. I like being the best.” She slid the papers towards me. “I want to split whatever is left after the investigation 50/50. Minus, my inheritance and trust—obviously.”
“I don’t want any of it.” I argued.
“Someday, you are going to get out of here and need to start your life over… it’s going to be hard enough without being completely broke.
Remember, you’re also going to have a child that someday you’ll need to help support.
Take the deal, let’s end this in a way that we can tell them about without feeling yucky. ”
I stared at her, awed by the depth of her goodness.
“Okay.” I swallowed hard and sucked in a breath. Don grabbed the papers before I could sign them and shot me a dirty look.
“Let me read them at least.”
“Don’t trust me?” Yang asked sweetly. Don narrowed his eyes at her and cleared his throat.
“I trust you to do your job. I also trust that your job does not align with my client’s best interests.”
She barked out a laugh, “touché. Don’t worry there aren’t any surprises.”
Don spent a few minutes reading the fine print before he put all the pages back in order and slid them to me. “Read them and then sign.”
I briefly skimmed them, pausing at the part that said our marital home was to be sold and split. I rubbed my chest with one shackled hand and gave Melanie a sad smile.
“You don’t want the house?”
She shook her head but didn’t speak.
I nodded; it hurt, but I knew that I had ruined our good memories there with my actions.
A few shaky scribbles later, my name next to colorful tabs, and I had agreed to permanently break part of my own heart to give her back her own.