CHAPTER FIVE
Chrissy
This is exactly what I need, I think, slipping deeper beneath the bubbles.
Steam coils off the scented surface of the hotel tub, mixing with the dried roses on the marble counter and the smell of floor cleaner.
It’s not normal, this reckless splurging. I’m not in the habit of doing spontaneous things for no reason, but this was necessary, I tell myself. I need a few days away from work and Jefferson ... and Shawn. I need space to think and regroup. To prepare for the rest of my life without him.
I shut my eyes against the ache I’m still working through. Damn thing keeps flaring up at random times, a steel splinter that keeps sinking deeper with every hour I spend alone in this room.
He doesn’t want to want me.
I can’t force him to, and I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone to stay with me because I badgered them into it. If he wants to stay, it has to be on his terms, but I’m also not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to decide.
Water sloshes around me as I push to sit up, dragging my knees to my chest. I watch the tap drip methodically. Each drip plopping into the water shimmering around me.
It’s not fair.
I mean, I get it. Jefferson is a nosy town on the best of days and he’s known me since I was young enough to raise a few questions.
But sixteen doesn’t count. He and Dad were merely acquaintances.
Drinking buddies occasionally after I’d gone to bed.
He wasn’t a regular fixture in my life until I was seventeen.
Sure, that’s no better, but he never touched me. Barely said two words during that whole year. And I get Jefferson won’t understand that. People will speculate. Rumors will circulate. Mostly lies that have the weight to ruin all our lives.
Shawn’s business.
Dad’s.
My job.
Dr. Kent doesn’t pander to gossip but I’ve seen what public pressure can do.
I groan and drop my forehead down on my knees. I shut my eyes.
Maybe Shawn is right.
Maybe this is a bad idea. As much as I love him, am I prepared to blow up his life? Dad’s? Mine ... though, I’m not overly concerned about mine.
Maybe this is a good time for a bigger break.
Aunt Josie, Mom’s sister, has been asking me to go down to Florida for a visit.
It could be a nice change of scenery. Give me and Shawn a break to really think.
Dad has been talking about taking the RV to Halifax with Shawn on a road trip.
It could be nice for everyone to get away from Jefferson for a little while.
Lifting my head, I rub damp fingers over my face.
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced this might be the best idea. I’ll think about it a little more over the weekend but—
The phone rings.
Not my cell. The hotel landline.
Urgent and persistent. An angry trill of bells that makes me jump.
Baffled, I stand quickly and reach for the provided robe. The plush weight falls around my shoulders and I tie the sash as I hurry into the bedroom. I skirt the king size and lunge on the receiver.
“Hello?” I pant.
“Good evening, Miss Turner. Sorry to bother you ... sir! Excuse me!”
My eyes widen as the frazzled voice rises in a series of rapid shouts. There’s a distinct struggle. The wrestle of two people fighting for the phone.
“Hello?” I say again, pressing the device against my ear.
“Chrissy?”
I blink at the rough, familiar, male voice. “Shawn?”
There’s more struggling. Shawn threatens the man behind the desk loud enough that I wince.
“I will call security!” the man snaps.
Shawn ignores him.
“Where are you?” he snarls into my ear.
“Hotel?” I mumble stupidly, having no idea what’s happening right now. “What are you—?”
“What floor?” he growls. “Your room number.”
I give it and immediately, the line goes dead.
Bemused, I stare at it a moment, brain trying to process. It fails but one thing does register.
I call the front desk. The hassled man picks up.
“Hi, this is Chrissy Turner. I want to apologize for my friend’s behavior. Please don’t call security. I promise he’s not crazy.”
The man does not seem convinced, but he grudgingly agrees not to call anyone and I hang up just as the entire room explodes with three, resounding bangs.
“Oh my God.” I breathe, hand at my chest as I rush to let Shawn in before someone calls the police on him. “Are you insane?” I exclaim, unlatching the door. “What are you—?”
The barricade slams open. It cracks against the wall and bounces back, but Shawn smacks a palm to keep it from hitting him in the face.
He holds it open, pale eyes practically black as they run over me, taking in my hair piled into a knot at the top of my head to my bare, naked toes.
His attention lingers in the robe, and I have never seen anyone so pissed at the sight of terry cloth the way his nostrils flare.
“Where is he?”
I blink. “Who?”
Not waiting, barely listening, he charges past me.
Shawn has always been a big man. The kind that can fill an entire room with just his shadow.
But he’s an entire force of rage. He’s a simmering inferno of mindless fury as he tears through my room, throws open the bathroom door, checks inside the closets, behind the blinds. He even stoops to search under the bed.
“What are you looking for?” I snap, hands at my hips.
“The dead piece of shit you brought here.” He straightens and rounds on me. “Where is he, Chrissy?” He starts towards me. “Did you tell him to run?”
I shuffle back a step, heart wild in my chest, but not from fear.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Even to my own ears, my voice is uneven and weak.
He dogs my every step.
“Did you let him touch you?”
Warning and power collide with every word.
I hit the edge of the mattress.
“Who?”
He tears out of his jacket. The thing is chucked aside. The entire time, he stays focused on my face. A wolf cornering a rabbit.
“The reason I’m prepared to go to prison for, Chrissy. The bastard you thought you could replace me with.”
The prey part of my brain knows I should be scared. I should be terrified. He’s acting crazy, and yet, I’m so turned on, I can’t think straight. My knees tremble with the effort to keep from slipping to the ground. My nipples are hard, sensitive points begging to feel his mouth again.
“Shawn...”
“He can’t fucking have you.”
I tumble back on the bed, knees folding beneath me with a single nudge of his hands. I bounce once before he’s on me. Big hands twist and tear at my fastening. The knot is torn free. The folds of my robes fall open without assistance.
And I’m bare before him.
Pink and wet, and so desperate for him, I can scarcely breathe.
“I’m going to find him,” he’s saying, eyes on my rising and falling chest. “Going to make you watch as I cut off every fucking finger that touched you.”
His hands fall on my waist. Pin me down for the mouth he closes around my left nipple. The first sweep of his tongue has my brain collapsing. My fingers hook into his hair.
“I don’t remember the drive, Chrissy. I don’t know how I fucking got here. All I kept thinking about is finding you here with him.”
His teeth sink into the tight bundle with a punishing nip that tears a cry from me that he ignores by forcing his hips high between my thighs. My hair is fisted in his hand and he drags my head back. My exposed throat is attacked by his lips.
“And the unimaginable horrors I was going to commit to every inch of him.”
“Why?” I pant, tipping my face down to peer into his. “You left. Why do you care if I was with someone else?”
All the fire and indignation dulls. His features soften into one of regret as he fixes his eyes to mine.
“I left because I got scared.”
Of all the things I expected him to say, that wasn’t one of them.
“Of me?”
The corner of his mouth tilts up on one side. “Yes. I don’t think you understand how much you scare me, Chrissy. How much I’m worried I’ll hurt you. I left because I saw what I did and ... it freaked me out.”
I stare up into his beautiful face, mind sifting through that night, trying to recall what he’d done.
“What did you do?”
He shifts above me and braces his weight on his elbow.
“I shouldn’t have done what I did. Not like that. Your first time shouldn’t have been with me telling you to be quiet. I didn’t do a damn thing to make it good for you.”
He has to be joking, but he’s watching me with such solemn torment, I realize he’s serious.
“It was amazing,” I tell him. “I’ve wanted you to touch me like that for so long and it was better than I even imagined. Plus, the whole being quiet thing was actually really very hot.”
Some of that heat returns to his eyes.
“Yeah?”
My cheeks warm. “Promise.”
The tension softens around his mouth as he drops it down for a long, slow kiss.
“I still don’t know how we’re going to pull this off,” he murmurs after a moment. “I don’t want to keep you a secret.”
I consider his words, pleased by them before I answer, “I think I’ve decided to go to Florida.”
Shawn blinks. “Florida?”
I nod. “Not forever. My aunt has been asking me to visit and I think we can both use the time to think about what to do—”
“You don’t want this anymore?”
If it weren’t for the mild panic in his eyes, I would have laughed at the question.
“I do. I’ve wanted you for years, but I never considered how we’d make it happen. If we even can. I don’t want your life to get ruined, or my dad’s. Maybe if I go away for a bit...”
“What? You think I’ll just stop loving you?”
Without a pinch of hesitation. He released the words into the space between us so casually, my jaw drops.
My eyes widen as I stare up into his face, waiting for him to realize his slip and take it back, but he only frowns down at me.
“You heard me,” he mutters. “I love you. I shouldn’t. I tried not to. But there you have it. That’s the truth. And you’re not going to Florida. You’re not leaving me.”
It’s unclear where the tears come from, but they blur his face.
“You mean it?”
It’s a weird question given he literally just said he did, but I need to hear it.
But he doesn’t say it.