Chapter Six
Iris
The phone clatters to the ground.
My body goes numb.
Kian knows.
Kian knows.
Kian knows.
My feet carry me to the bathroom just in time for me to hurl into the toilet, emptying my stomach. Staggering back, I slump to the floor and try to stop the tremors racking my limbs.
Is that why he never texted me all day? I assumed he was busy with meetings. Is his silence a good or bad sign? Is he throwing out my things from his place at this moment? Have I lost him? Are we over before we could even begin?
The anxiety mounts as silent tears fall down my cheeks.
My fingers caress his tattoo over my jeans, jolting me upright.
No.
This won’t be the end of us.
I replay his promises from last night and remember his kisses from this morning. The way he held me in his arms like I was the most precious thing in the world.
Unless he tells me that we’re done, I won’t give up hope.
The only thing coming to an end today is my arrangement with Nathan.
Flushing the toilet, I clean my mouth and face at the sink until color returns to my cheeks. Stepping out, I pick up my phone and shoot Seth a text to bring the car around. Downstairs, I meet my mom in the kitchen.
“Ma, I have to run. Something urgent came up.”
“But what about dinner?” she replies.
“I’ll come by another day.” I hug her. “Tell Papa hi for me.”
Kissing my temple, she utters, “Text me once you get there.”
Running out the front door, I exit the block of my street and slip inside the car after Seth opens my door. As he drives to Kian’s place, my feet tap on the floorboard nonstop. Cramps hit my stomach as I wonder what mood he will be in.
It takes almost two hours to reach our building, which looms ahead.
I’m a ball of nervous energy as I enter the lobby. Half expecting the security guard to jump at me and say I’m no longer allowed in here, I make it safely into the elevator. As it climbs, I cup the phone in a death grip in my sweaty palm.
Once I’m standing outside his apartment door, I lose the courage. My heart has traveled up to my throat, thundering too damn hard. My fists clenching and unclenching, I pace the hallway.
I don’t even know if he’s at home or The Mirage.
God! The club.
What if he’s with another woman?
Get it together, Iris .
Standing here will accomplish nothing. Shaking myself off, I count to three, unlock the door, and enter his apartment.
Electric awareness makes my skin come alive.
He’s here.
The scent of chocolate, musk, and spice is the strongest when he’s close.
There’s only the sound of my feet as I stroll deeper into the dimly lit apartment. Goosebumps riddle over my arms the second I see Kian in the drawing room.
Sitting on the middle of the couch with his legs evenly spread, head lowered and hands steepled, he stares at the floor. The jacket and tie are gone, the crisp white shirt is stretching over his broad and tightly wound shoulders, and his cut arms are testing the confines of the fabric.
The tether that binds us together draws his attention to me.
Our eyes lock across the room.
His angular face is impassive and hard. For the first time, I can’t get a read on him over the terrifying roar of my heart beating. He stares intensely and silently, making me weak in the knees and rooting my feet to the spot.
I swallow before stuttering, “K-Kian.”
He pushes to his feet.
“Please let me expla—”
He bridges the gap between us before the words are out of my mouth and slams his lips on mine.
I become frozen, thinking it’s a figment of my imagination.
It has to be a dream.
This isn’t the appropriate response to finding out that the girl he moved into his home has been stalking and secretly pining for him for three years.
But then his lips softly glide over my top one, gently nipping it between his. Sucking deep, he lets go and brushes them against the tingling spot. I moan low when he repeats the same to my bottom lip.
It’s as if he’s slowly bringing me back to life.
Dizzy and swaying, I stretch on my toes and grip his biceps.
The gentleness implodes into a savage hunger.
Gripping my hair hard, he tugs my head back and deepens the kiss. Pleasure grips my bones as he licks the seam of my lips before plundering his tongue inside, thorough in his tasting.
I’m disoriented.
Floating on a cloud of lust.
Utterly confused.
An alarming thought comes… is this a goodbye kiss? The possibility vanishes when he walks us backward and presses my back against the wall. Hands roam along my sides before locking around my waist, picking me up and wrapping my legs around his waist.
I cling to him, tugging at his collar so I can touch his skin underneath.
He’s never kissed me this aggressively.
Punishingly and passionately in one breath.
He quietens my overthinking brain until I can barely string together a thought. I surrender to him as he dominates all of my senses. Feeling my body go lax, allowing him to mold it however he wishes, his lips become softer.
Pinning me against the wall with his hips between my thighs, calloused hands grasp my face and he suck my lips one by one.
When he finally lets me up for air, I want to drown in his mouth again as petrifying scenarios return. It’s not until I meet his gray eyes, overwrought by the adoring and reverent light in them, that my tense body relaxes a little.
“You’re not… mad?”
“I am fucking mad,” he thunders. My heart shatters. “You’ve been a shitty fucking stalker, Rainbow. The cutest, most breathtaking one to ever exist, but terrible.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Three years, Iris,” he growls accusingly, sounding pained. “You made me wait three goddamn years to have you. One thousand and ninety-five days that we could’ve spent together. All that time was just lost.”
“You’re not mad,” I repeat in a whisper, for my ears. Overwhelming joy makes my breath hitch, and I say louder, “You’re not mad.”
In the next second, I’m bursting into tears from pure rapture and solace.
“Fuck, baby,” he coos, licking my tears away and peppering my face with kisses. “I’m not angry.”
“I thought you’d think I’m crazy and kick me out.”
“Kick you out?” An aghast expression turns his features to stone.
“Why? For craving me so deeply that you were willingly sacrificing your future for a chance to be mine? For taking a risk on me without ever having met me? The truth changes nothing, my precious little stalker. If you’re crazy, then so am I.
Because I wouldn’t have you any other way. ”
“You sure? ‘Cause you can’t change your mind later.”
“I’d be a fool to let go of the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Capturing his face between my palms, I seal my lips with his and kiss him earnestly.
Pulling back, I rasp, “The reality of you is better than all the dreams I had about you. My only regret is not having the courage to tell you sooner. I was scared I’ll lose you.
I thought that if you knew the truth, you’ll never trust me again. ”
“Was this the reason you thought Nathan would tear us apart?”
I nod, wishing I wasn’t so gullible, letting Nathan put doubts inside my head. Perhaps Kian will understand the other secret I’m hiding too, which I can’t confess unless the person is caught.
Kian’s features soften, attuned to my sadness. “He failed because it did the opposite, Rainbow. I love how you’re as down bad for me as I am for you.”
“I’m drawn to you in an unexplainable way, like my soul calls to yours.
I saw you for the first time and knew I was meant to be yours.
The pull I felt toward you became a constant.
You consumed my mind. I didn’t know what to call this connection back then, but I do now.
You’re my soulmate, Kian, and I won’t survive losing you. ”
A shudder goes through him, his grip becomes crushing.
In the next breath, he sets my soul on fire.
“I was living in a black-and-white prison of my own making. You freed me, Rainbow. You’re every color, every dream, every emotion I didn’t know I was missing.
” Resting his forehead to mine, he runs a knuckle along my jaw, whispering, “Now, I can’t imagine a life without it.
So, yes, I won’t survive without you either. ”
Our lips lock in a heady kiss.
Two pieces fitting together in an unbreakable bond.
Because Kian doesn’t just know my deepest, darkest secret, he’s downright feral about it. His acceptance is like gasoline on the fire of my years of lusting after him.
Pushing off the wall, he carries us to the couch without breaking the ravaging kiss. Plopping down in the middle once more, he rips his mouth away and grumbles, “I am still furious with you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a terrible stalker.”
“Stop saying that!”
Twisting my arms behind my back, his teeth nip punishingly on my lower lip. “Stalkers leave signs, or trails, so the stalkee knows they’re being watched. You never once left anything for me. A sign, a note, nothing. I could’ve made you mine sooner and not spent the last three years without you.”
“That’s what you have a problem with?”
“Yes.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Stalkers stay in the shadows, but they make their presence known in some way. You never did, my little Rainbow.”
“Are you seriously upset I didn’t stalk you good enough? That it wasn’t up to your standards?”
“Yes. If I had seen you first, I would’ve stalked you too.”
“Yeah, right!” I snort, even though my body lights up like the Fourth of July.
Shifting my wrists to one hand, the other takes hold of my throat. Raising a haughty brow, he drawls, “What do you think I’ve been doing ever since I met you?”
“I distinctly remember you kicking me out of your office.”
“It was either that or I bend you over my desk and fuck you.”
My traitorous nipples harden, turning those gray eyes molten. I fire off another accusation. “You also hid from me at your club.”
“While watching you on my camera feed.”
My jaw hits the floor.
He smirks. “I might have tried pushing you away, but I came running back each time, Rainbow.”
“You did.”
“I’ve never bent my knee for anyone, but for you, I’d get down on both and crawl for the rest of my life if you asked me to.”
I exhale in a rush because those aren’t empty words.
This man would do it in a heartbeat.
Wiggling until his hold loosens, I run my hands up his chest as soon as they’re freed. Brushing my lips over his, I trail them to his ear, whispering, “I’ll only ever ask for one thing, and it’s to never let me go.”
“Done, baby.” Bringing my face to his, he demands, “Take me to the place you saw me for the first time.”