Chapter Thirty-Two
Kian
She goes pale, staring unblinking at her personal diary like it’s a ghost come to life.
Perhaps it is.
She looks terrified, yet she’s been walking around boldly around the biggest ghost of her past—her son, whom she abandoned.
Iris’s palm brushes over my thigh and rubs underneath the table, providing me her silent support as well as keeping me from verbally attacking my mother.
Even calling her that in my head brings a wave of fury.
All the emotions I had been compartmentalizing are waiting to be unleashed. Old wounds never heal.
I have to commend her acting skills. A normal woman would let the mask slip for a lingering breath while sitting across from her son and casually sipping on tea.
For a whole year, she’s evaded confronting me.
It makes sense why she left in a rush the one time we ran into each other before Iris appeared in my life.
None of this should come as a shock since she had an affair with a married man. She must’ve given the performance of a lifetime back then too. Deceit is part of who she is.
“I’m sure you’ll like it back,” I sneer, pointing to the diary. “Seeing as you need to refresh your memory and remember I’m the son you left behind with a neglectful father.”
“I… It…” she stutters, her face going ashen.
The years haven’t been kind to her. She’s nothing like the vibrant woman I saw in the picture from all those years ago when she worked for my father.
In it, her eyes matched mine. Right now, they’re black.
Has she been wearing lenses to disguise her identity?
Why is she working as a maid? Is she poor or was it a tactic to become a part of my life?
“Sonya,” murmurs Iris, as the woman looks ready to faint. “Please sit down.”
“How—how did you—”
“So you’re not denying you’re my mother?”
“I didn’t abandon you,” she cries suddenly, snapping out of the fearful state. “I would never abandon you. He threatened me and kicked me out of the city.”
“Why would my father do that? He never wanted me, said you dumped me at his doorstep.”
She shakes her head. “Not Rakesh, Roshan Singhania.”
“My grandfather?” I gape, not expecting it. “You’re lying.”
“No, my sweet boy—”
“Don’t you dare call me that,” I shout, shaking with anger and devastation. “You haven’t earned that right.”
“I’m-m sorry,” she utters dejectedly. “You’re right.”
“What really happened to you, Sonya?” Iris demands, her tone hard. “In your diary, you blamed it all on Rakesh. Now, you’re saying it was Kian’s grandfather, who was one of the two people that were nice to him in that awful family.”
Staggering over to us, she falls into the chair she was sitting on earlier.
For the first time, it’s not a stranger or my maid gazing at me.
It’s a broken shell of a woman, a victim of powerful men.
Saying nothing, she stares at me, studying every inch of my face.
As though she’s finally allowing herself the freedom.
It takes herculean effort to stay still.
I don’t realize my fingers are clenched in a fist until Iris lays her delicate palm over them, unfurling them one by one. I turn my palm up and intertwine our fingers. My hold on her tightens when my mother begins to speak.
“I had just quit my job and ended the affair with Rakesh once I realized he was fooling me and had no intention of leaving his wife. I know, I sound like every other stupid woman who fell for the lies of a married man. I thought I was smarter, but I was no different.” She laughs self-deprecatingly.
“By the time I did the right thing, a week later, I found out I was pregnant with you. I panicked because I was out of a job, had no family, and hardly any money saved up to raise a child. Because I was still na?ve, I went to see Rakesh to tell him he was going to be a father, in case he wanted to be a part of your life. Instead, I ran into your grandfather, who was aware of the affair. He pulled me into a room and coerced the news out of me. I was in hysterics, wondering how I was going to be a single mother. Back then, they were looked down on and there was no way I could’ve gotten a decent job.
Roshan knew it too, and he preyed on my vulnerability. ”
“How?” I grit out.
Twisting her fingers nervously, she replies, “I don’t need to tell you that Roshan was an old-fashioned and very traditional man.
It’s the way of the Singhania family. Having a son is how the legacy kept going.
Turns out, Rakesh and Rita were having trouble conceiving a kid for years.
It’s what created problems in their marriage.
When Roshan found his son had gotten me pregnant, he saw an opportunity.
He was nice and soft-spoken, said all the right things to me, how he would help me financially during the pregnancy and provide me with the best OB because this was his grandson.
Then later help me move to whichever city I’d like and secure a job for me.
He only had one condition: that I don’t tell Rakesh, who wouldn’t be as excited and that the news would ruin his marriage.
I didn’t want to be involved in a scandal, so I agreed.
He painted me my fairy tale and for those nine months, I was the happiest I had ever been. ”
“Then what?” My voice is low, devoid of emotion.
A tear falls from her eye, despair clouding her features.
“Then, I had you. There were some complications and the doctors had to do an emergency C-section. I stayed strong because you were going to be my light. Except, when I woke up,” her voice hitches, “you weren’t there.
At first, I thought maybe you didn’t make it and nobody would tell me anything.
I was hooked to machines on the hospital bed, completely at the mercy of the nurses, until hours later, Rakesh arrived.
As soon as I saw his face, I knew something was horribly wrong.
My intuition proved correct when he said that he’s taking you from me because your rightful place is with them.
All his help was just so I didn’t skip town.
He had been plotting to steal you all along.
He tried to pay me off to walk away and I said no because you were my baby.
He expected it and dropped the nice act, proceeding to threaten me because I had no money, or connections, to fight an influential man like him.
He had everyone in his pocket. I tried, Kian, I really tried to win against him, but I was all alone.
A part of me also gave up thinking they could give you the life and a bright future that I never could. ”
“A bright future?” A hollow laugh erupts out of me. The chair skids across the floor as I stand abruptly. “That home was my hell and the man ruling it was my father. Not a day went by where I wasn’t reminded what a burden I was.”
Beside me, Iris wipes her tears away.
“I am so sorry,” sobs my mother.
I stop pacing and cross my arms. “Why did you come back? How long were you going to work for me and never confess?”
Gathering her emotions, she shares, “I came across an article two years after you had founded your company, and I’ve been following your career ever since.
As soon as I learned you weren’t under your father’s control, I quit my job and moved back here, hoping to meet you.
But I had no way to reach out to you. I certainly didn’t want to leave a message at your assistant’s desk with a reason that’ll make you want to see me.
I did temp jobs and took a second one at this cleaning service company.
With each year, you kept growing and I lost all hope of ever reaching out to you.
Then, a year ago, this building hired the cleaning service and I came across your name as one of the tenants.
I thought it was fate and got myself assigned to you. ”
“Yet you never said a word,” I accuse.
“I didn’t know how to broach the subject. I had no idea if you knew you were Rakesh’s illegitimate son. I didn’t want to disrupt your world. So, I made myself content by being around you. I believed it was all I deserved. That it was my punishment for abandoning you.”
“I’ve always known. My father made certain I always fucking knew that I was his bastard son. A snake who slithered into his life. He hated me even more after Nathan was born. The second my grandfather died, he threw me to the streets and made me hurt my brother who loved me unconditionally.”
My dad did exactly what my grandfather did to my mother. He tore me apart from the only person I ever cared about. Nathan and I would still be close if all of this hadn’t happened. He would’ve never hurt Iris and used her to punish me.
Looking at my mother’s anguished face, I coldly say, “I don’t know if I want you in my life.”
“Kian… please,” she pleads, lurching to her feet as fear quakes her frail frame. “You… you finally know. Give me another chance. Please.”
I put my hand up, cutting her off. “I understand what happened in the past wasn’t your fault.
No way you could’ve fought for custody and won against them.
But for over a year, you continuously deceived me.
You had the nerve to sit across from me and my girlfriend today and not utter a word. I don’t trust your intentions.”
“Because I didn’t think you’d believe me.
I don’t have any proof besides my word, which wouldn’t be enough.
You would’ve assumed I was making up a story and trying to get money from you.
Had I known you were aware Rita wasn’t your mother, I wouldn’t have watched you from the shadows.
Dredging up the past only ever hurts the other person.
” Glancing at Iris, she smiles and utters, “You’ve finally met someone who makes you happy and loves you unconditionally.
I didn’t want to cause problems from my selfish greed to get to know you. ”
“You can’t expect me to magically be okay with it all or celebrate that I found my mother.
The only reason I searched for you is because I need your help to fix my relationship with my brother, who loathes my guts and believes I’m coming after his legacy.
You see, unlike you, I’m not afraid to correct the mistakes of my past.”
She flinches at my jab, but takes it head-on. “I’ll help. Anything you want.”
“Are you willing to face Rakesh? Tell everyone the truth? Otherwise, you might as well walk out of my life right now.”
“I am.” Her voice is fierce and unafraid. “I meant it when I wrote I will make him pay for his sins. If it’ll bring you closer to your brother and make you forgive me, I will never say no.”
“I’m asking you to do this because it’s the right thing to do. Don’t assume it’ll make you earn my forgiveness.”
“But it’s a start,” she murmurs hopefully, while her fingers dig into the edges of the dining table. “It has to be. Please don’t kick me out.”
I say nothing, turning her expression crestfallen.
Letting go of the table, she nervously rounds it, taking a step toward me. A scraping noise pierces the air before Iris’s calm voice soothes the tension.
“You need to give him space to process, Sonya.”
My mother’s face swings in her direction as Iris picks up the diary and struts to her. Pressing it into her palms until she accepts it, Iris firmly but politely says, “This is all too much. It must be the same for you. Wait until he’s ready to call you. Okay?”
My mother sighs before nodding. Peering at me once more, she says, “We may be strangers to each other, but I do love you, sweet boy. Take all the time you need. If you never wish to see me again after I’ve helped, I’ll respect your decision and leave.”
She exits the room. A few seconds later, I hear the front door shut.
Iris walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist tightly. I hug her back, exhaling roughly.
“How do you feel, love?” she asks.
“I have answers to all the questions that plagued my mind. All I feel is hurt and betrayed. She says she loves me, but it was so easy for her to walk away from me and never look back.” It stings.
“I’ve seen the way your parents love you, Rainbow.
They would never do what she did, even if the odds were against them.
They’ll fight for you. I wish I were lucky enough to have parents like them. ”
“You do.” Pulling back, she props her chin on my chest and stares at me protectively. “My mom and dad love you, Kian. My family is yours. You’re not alone.”
No, I’m not alone.
I have my girl.
She’s all I need.