Chapter Seven
Hazel
I wasn’t sure how that smug fucker—number Seven—expected me to get any sleep after that kind of text. It was bad enough I had escaped back to my apartment all wound up after Reid discovered my dirty little secret. Now I had to figure out how to respond to the only bachelor who’d texted me last night. Part of me figured I wouldn’t receive any texts from the bachelors, but I knew if I got one, it’d most likely be from him.
Bachelor Ten had been sweet and funny, making me laugh at several points during our brief conversation, but I hadn’t felt that spark I did with Seven. He’d had my whole body on alert, my pulse racing every time his voice dropped lower, and he’d say something vaguely suggestive.
I knew that wasn’t what the experiment was about. It was supposed to see how we’d react to each other without being able to see each other, but I’d never experienced that kind of instant sexual chemistry with someone. And the rush was a little addictive. Was this why my apartment had been a revolving door of dick for Charley before she settled down with my brother? Was this how other people normally felt around the opposite sex?
It was certainly unlike anything I’d ever experienced before, because the way I felt around Reid was just me being a neurotic mess, not mutual attraction, no matter how much I wished it were. But that interaction with him volunteering to help with my commissions had thrown me too much to respond to Seven last night. It wouldn’t have been fair of me to reply to him when I was thinking about another man .
Another man who would be at my apartment any moment and I was still under the covers wrapped in blankets staring at a sentence that I knew had the possibility to change my life. If only I had the balls to respond to it. Which right now, I did not.
The screen of my phone lit up with a text message and I immediately dropped it, my pulse racing at the idea that either man had texted me while I was having a sleep deprived existential crisis. Nervously glancing at it, I frowned because Christian hadn’t texted me in months.
Christian: What are you up to today? I've got classes all day, but I'm looking forward to catching up with you.
It seemed innocuous enough, but I didn’t have space in my brain to decipher the intentions of another man, so I just laid it back down and ignored it.
Right now, I had to get my shit together because I looked as if a hibernating squirrel had taken up residence in the messy bun on the top of my head. And if I didn’t fix it soon, Reid would get an up-close viewing of how much of a hot mess I was.
Three sharp raps against the apartment door had me scrambling out of the bed and racing to the bathroom. I tried fruitlessly to unfurl my crazy hair, but the ponytail holder got stuck and was now trapped in the center of my wild, tangled mane.
“Fuck me,” I hissed, throwing it back up into a messy bun. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice I was an epic disaster this morning or at least would be nice enough not to point it out in the time it took me to tell him this was a terrible idea, and he needed to go back home.
“Haz?” Reid’s deep, masculine voice echoed through the wooden door, and I knew he’d stand there all day if I tried pretending I wasn’t home. He knew I was. Hell, I practically never left the building now that all my classes were online.
“Just… Hold on! I’m…” a fucking mess. Swiping at the crumbs on my baggy hooded sweatshirt, a litany of curse words rolled through my brain, but they didn’t budge. The curse words or the crumbs. Wow, I was just the epitome of a sex goddess this morning.
“If it makes you feel any better, I have donuts and coffee,” he chuckled, and I tried not to picture how attractive he looked when he laughed. It really wasn’t fair how good I was sure he looked on the other side of the door and how not attractive I looked in contrast right now.
“Depends on what kind,” I replied as I gripped the latch on the deadbolt and turned it, the door swinging inward before I could even touch the handle below.
“Well,” Reid mused, stepping forward and pressing a cup into my hand before he skirted around me. My skin burned where he touched my arm through my sweatshirt and my eyes widened as he leaned in to dust a chaste kiss on my jawline. “I know what you like.”
That was new.
Had I woken up in some alternate universe where my brother’s best friend now kissed me on the cheek? And brought me warm beverages and donuts without prompting? Was there a full moon I didn’t know about?
Pulling the cup to my lips, I sniffed, the scent of cinnamon and chai immediately calming my frazzled nerves. He did know what I liked. And he’d clearly been paying enough attention that he knew real coffee made me a hyped-up, jittery mess. But I would never turn down a Chai tea latte.
“I’m not sure this is such a good idea,” I mumbled, still huffing my mildly caffeinated drink. “While I appreciate the offer, I think I can manage to do this on my own.”
Reid laid the paper bag from my favorite bakery, Ice My Cake, down on the kitchen counter, turning and bracing his hands against the edge of the countertop. “I think it’s already too late for that, Haz.”
“I’m really not in the mood this morning.” Taking a sip of my hot drink, I tried not to squirm under his gaze, but he looked like a man on a mission. He wouldn’t leave, and part of me was glad he was here. That part also would have liked to not look like woodland creatures were taking up residence in her hair.
“Then go take a shower and I’ll eat my fritter while I wait.”
Shaking my head, I almost groaned as I took another greedy gulp of my tea. His methods for gaining entry to my apartment were really on point this morning. “I think I’m just going to keep things low key before I have to work tonight.”
“Is there a reason you’re so resistant to help this morning?”
You mean other than that he looked like a fucking male model—which I guess was technically what he was here to do—this morning and I looked like a person who should shop in Walmart at 2 am?
“I’m just not in the right headspace for explaining to you why this is a bad idea.”
He pushed off the counter, stepping forward until my head tilted back to maintain eye contact. Then his much larger hands closed around where mine had a death grip on my cup to get my attention.
“Haz, go put on something comfortable, brush your hair—and maybe your teeth—and I will wait for you. We both know you’ll let this derail your whole day and I don’t want to see something that could easily be fixed keeping you from making progress on your commissions. I’ve seen how much you’ve been glued to that tablet, and I know how fast you work, so don’t even try to convince me you don’t have authors lining up with requests.”
Well, fuck. Maybe Reid paid much more attention to me than I thought he did. Because he was right, after a few authors told their writing groups about me, my DMs had been nuts with requests. I’d not only had to create a calendar and spreadsheet to track them all, but I also had several authors tell me I wasn’t charging them enough and was now making twice what I thought I would be doing this.
What had been an idea to generate a bit of extra income while I was taking more advanced digital illustration courses online had turned into a legitimate business overnight. One that had taken a turn I never expected. Which was why I was now stuck in said existential crisis.
How workable was it for a virgin to run a successful illustration business that specialized in artwork that was firmly in the not suitable for work category?
And how long was I going to keep that virginity status from the man I’d had a crush on for over a decade?
“You know I’m right.” He was. But I wouldn’t tell him that. His ego was big enough.
Why couldn’t I be the confident friend? Charley would know what to do in this situation, while I was still standing here huffing chai tea and looking like I’d not only rolled out of bed, but into the woods behind the building to become one with the woodland creatures.
“I am not at liberty to confirm or deny that statement.”
“Seriously, Haz. What harm will it cause to let me help you?”
It would murder my panties for one.
If he wanted to go full on reenactment for the scene I was supposed to be focusing on, I’d have to straddle his face and then take a picture. Surely my unexciting plain white cotton full coverage underwear would expire if that were to happen.
“Why are you so fixated on this?” Because he wasn’t showing any signs of backing down and going away. In fact, he had the audacity to take a seat on my couch and make himself at home while I remained there gaping at him. “I’m not seeing how this benefits you.”
My pulse skittered to a stop as I waited for his answer and then took off into a gallop when he licked his lips, his gaze turning predatory. If I didn’t know better, he was looking at me like he’d looked at the sketch on my tablet last night.
“Because I think what you’re doing is…admirable. And if I can help you, I want to. Isn’t that what friends do? Help each other?”
“So, drawing people doing… things is admirable now? There are plenty of people who I’m sure would disagree with you.” My brother being one of them. I knew he supported my art, but he still didn’t seem to understand that I was a grown adult. And that I thought about sex. So much so that I was now embracing those thoughts and the ones of others and bringing them to life as pieces of artwork.
“Then they’re fucking stupid.” His arms stretched along the back of my couch, and the fleeting thought that he belonged there quickly ran through my overwhelmed thoughts. That was not something I should have been considering, much less acknowledging.
Reid and I didn’t make sense. Not on paper and certainly not in real life. It wasn’t even that I thought he was too good for me, because I knew my worth, it was that we were in such different parts of our lives that I couldn’t imagine him being interested in someone younger and much less experienced than he was.
For most of my life, I’d stayed inside the little box people put me in. I was the shy bookworm who loved to draw. I was the good girl who followed all the rules and didn’t cause problems. And now, I was discovering a part of myself I’d denied for so long.
Maybe I wasn’t so shy, and maybe I wasn’t such a good girl. Maybe I wanted to be more adventurous and try new things. I wanted a lot of things I never thought I did before, but most of all…I wanted to be wanted.
That was why the idea of Seven was so appealing. He didn’t care what I looked like or who I was to everyone else. He genuinely seemed to want to get to know me . And that was something I’d never experienced before.
“You still in there?” Reid teased, his gaze never wavering from mine. I’d been off in La La Land, and he was staring at me like he was waiting for something. Technically, he was waiting for my approval to go along with his half-cocked scheme to help my posing, but it felt like I was still missing something.
“Fine. We try it once. But if it still doesn’t help, you let it go. And you cannot use any of this as fodder to tease me. And you sure as fuck aren’t telling Hudson a damn thing about my art. ”
His answering grin was almost obnoxious. “The word fuck sounds good coming from your lips.”
I faltered as my brain caught up to him using the words fuck , coming , and your lips all in one sentence, and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck and cheeks.
“And the fact me saying that made you blush is really fucking adorable.”
And he had to ruin it by calling me adorable.
Raccoon videos on the internet were adorable, grown women with sex appeal were not. Which meant Reid still clearly only saw me in one way.
“Shut up.” My clever response was met with a deep chuckle, and I took that as my cue to escape into my bathroom to make myself look less like a feral cat lady.
I thought I’d escaped further embarrassment, but as I crossed the threshold into my bedroom, he couldn’t help making one more comment. “Don’t worry, I’ll have to shut up while you’re sitting on my face.”
And there was the mic drop…