Chapter 18 #2
And God help her if she’d been playing me.
“You wanted me to see a reflection of your life. I’ve seen the ugliness. Why don’t you show me the light?”
If she only knew that she’d seen nothing of the ugliness she’d associated with my obsessive needs. However, she was right. Every soulful search of her eyes created an even clearer delineation of the differences. Why not? What did I have to lose?
“You’re right. I apologize.”
She acted as if she was shocked, but leveled me with a look that could only be described as passionately formidable. My cock ached once again. This woman and the way I felt about her, the need that kept my mind preoccupied was at the point of madness.
Yet I still couldn’t get enough.
“Do you like chocolate?”
Blinking, she wasn’t certain how to answer. “My mother says I live and die by chocolate. What do you have in mind?”
I’ll be damned if she wasn’t disarming with her charm and beauty. “You don’t know chocolates. At all. Allow me to introduce you to sheer indulgence.”
“You should have seen your face,” Catherine cooed just before bursting into laughter.
“What?” My dinner companion was enjoying the freedom that a simple act such as having dinner with the devil could provide. Her eyes were lit like firecrackers, every feature softened by the warm glow of candlelight.
Since the tense moments hours before, she’d acted as if my odd, possessive behavior had been a single glitch in my personality instead of just another taste of the brutal man I’d become.
Watching her was my private indulgence, including her childlike eyes when tasting and enjoying everything my sister had put in front of her.
She’d not only noted that our bakery and chocolate store carried some of the finest sweets in New Orleans, but she’d also insisted on paying for a box to take home.
After that, Emmeline had insisted on what she called a tour around the world of our gourmet cheeses paired with various wines.
Doing so had forced me to realize that I’d barely tasted our goods over the years. While I’d eaten in the restaurant several times, tonight I was enjoying Indulgence in an entirely different way.
“It was like you’d eaten a bug instead of warm, gooey chocolate.”
“There were pistachios in it. Emmeline knows I loathe pistachios.”
“Maybe she was getting even for you being an asshole.”
I shook my head in response. She was right.
She continued laughing, hiding behind her glass of wine as she remained unblinking. I sat back, tossing my napkin on the table just as the waiter brought dessert.
“Mmm… Perfect.” Her words were little more than a soft purr.
“You weren’t kidding before.”
“About what?” She picked up a dessert fork, toying with the fresh whipped cream swirled on the surface.
“Living or dying by chocolate.”
“Hence the name of the dessert.”
Narrowing my eyes, I wasn’t certain what she was talking about.
“Death by chocolate? My goodness. You don’t even eat in your own fabulous restaurant. Do you? Be honest.”
Snorting, I grabbed my whiskey, pulling the glass to my lips. “I have.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t like to eat alone, or you don’t bring your main squeeze of the night to your family establishment?”
Everything about her continued to be surprising, including her ability to say anything to me. No one did so much. Hell, even my brothers were often concerned about how and what to say to me. But this woman was fearless, acting as if nothing bothered her.
Absolutely, that fueled the desire.
As soon as I leaned over the table, so did she, daring me to challenge her. I gripped her chin, issuing a low growl. Not in warning, but more as a promise. “I don’t bring women to any restaurant, mine or anyone else’s.”
“Come on,” she pushed. “Please don’t try and insult my intelligence. I’ve experienced firsthand your sadistic… needs. Remember?”
Her smile was as beguiling as her laugh. “Be careful tempting a beast.”
“I have a cure for your grouchiness.”
“What’s that?” At some point I’d learn to expect to expect anything coming from her. When she scooped some whipped cream onto the fork, smashing it across my lips, my entire body stiffened.
She winked before daring to drag just the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip. In two days, she’d already learned how to tease me to the point of losing control. No woman had ever managed that before.
I licked my lips then reacted quickly, grabbing her around the back of her neck and pulling her further forward. “You should know better.”
“Or what? You’re going to punish me?”
“How many times do I need to tell you that I will do anything and everything I want?” Every time I kissed her, the sense of longing to learn more about her hit harder. Every time.
She surrendered to the moment, tangling her fingers in my hair as she darted her tongue inside. Yet seconds later, she pushed me away on purpose, wiping the remainder of the cream from her mouth with her pinky.
“So you keep telling me.” The fork was still in her hand and very carefully she slipped the tines through the chocolate. I expected her to try the same trick. She even swirled the fork in the air, laughing yet again when I snagged her wrist, taking the bite myself.
There was a sense of satisfaction with my response; she sighed when I allowed her to lower her fork.
“What’s wrong?” Gazing at her face again, I brushed a strand of hair from her face. She’d insisted on changing out of her jeans after learning where I was taking her. Seeing her in a body-hugging dress, the light material accentuating her voluptuous curves had held my attention for hours.
My little sister knew what I preferred. Perhaps she’d thought the guest staying at my house was someone of importance.
A woman capable of dragging me from the shadows of the barely living.
“I’ve asked you several times who you were, yet your answers only provide a glimpse into your life.”
“What do you think you know about me?” I wasn’t certain what else she could want.
She toyed with the dessert for a few seconds before placing the fork on the plate and sighing again.
“You have an incredible business. I guess I hadn’t realized you and your family owned Indulgence.
I’ve been here several times for coffee and beignets but never thought about who owned the entire block. ”
“We’ve owned the businesses on this block for years. Something my mother had wanted from a very long time ago. What else?”
“I can tell you’re close with your family, but even so, you’re a loner, choosing never to get close to anyone outside of your inner circle.
While I was teasing you about your love life, you shut down the conversation.
At least this time not with anger. I doubt you’re a monk, Alexander.
You’re far too passionate a man not to have needs. ”
She was hesitating to say anything she believed would upset me. “You can be candid with me, Catherine. As you’ve told me, you’re not fragile. Neither am I.”
“But your ego is.” She toyed with the fork again, sliding the tines through the dessert, slowly lifting her gaze to see if she’d angered me.
“I haven’t brought anyone to Indulgence for two reasons, one being I don’t mix business with pleasure. I don’t want anyone knowing anything about my private life, my family included.”
“What’s the other reason?”
In her reserved way, she was pushing me as if what we were doing was anything remotely close to being normal. I leaned forward once again. “You’re very right that I’m not a monk. I’m also not a man interested in a relationship.”
“What are you trying to say, that you don’t date?”
“There’s been no need.”
“Mmm…” She took a small bite, no longer finding it necessary to maintain eye contact.
“Just ask what you’re dying to ask.”
“The last thing I want to do is to infuriate you. Obviously, somehow, I managed to do so earlier and I don’t know why.”
“Ask.” The irritation was just below the surface, a reaction she didn’t deserve.
Yet I continued to think about her father, the only man who’d threatened my father and had lived.
Maybe it was something I wanted to keep from her, to use it when I knew telling her would hurt the worst. To push her away because that’s what I always did.
Her gaze lifted, holding the same conviction I’d seen inside the courtroom. “Maybe you didn’t kill Lorenzo Russo, but you have killed before. Yes?”
“Are you certain you want to know?”
“As I’ve told you already, truth is important to me.”
“Then yes, I have.”
“How many?”
My laugh brought a smile to her face. “That’s not something you need to know, Counselor.”
“Are you frightened I’ll turn you in to the police?”
“I think that with you being on a date with me that your insistence of my guilt would be frowned upon.”
She rolled her eyes. “You call this a date?”
When I placed my hand on my chest as I’d done before in mock surprise, she snagged a bite of the decadent dessert, swirling it like a helicopter.
With my fingers wrapped around her wrist, I brought the fork to my lips. Her smile fell, turning into something more carnal. What I wanted to do was to rake the dishes off the table, toss her on the surface, and feast on her pussy right here in front of all the guests.
I only hesitated because I would embarrass Emmeline. Something I didn’t want to do. “You’re free to go if you’d like, my angel. You’re right in that I can’t keep you all to myself. Please. If you’d like, I’ll call you a cab.”
Her sigh was heavier than I expected. “That’s not what I want.”
“Mmm… Good to know. But just be advised I will likely not ask you again.”
“Duly noted. Who did kill your father? I know you have thoughts.”
“What people likely want me to think is Vitelli Russo.”
She cocked her head, her eyes opening wide. “But you don’t think so.”
“Let’s just say if I found a reason to believe he had, you’d be hearing about his murder on the local news. I take revenge seriously, Catherine. If I don’t, people I do care about die. That’s the way of my business.”
“That’s very disturbing.”
“Not if you’re used to how the games are played.”
“An eye for an eye,” she offered.
I brushed my finger under her chin. “Exactly.”
If my words frightened or troubled her, she showed no signs of it. “Did they deserve to die?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Does anyone? In my mind, yes, they did. I value loyalty and honor more than anything.”
“Which is why you warned me about betraying you.”
“Yes.”
“I’m curious. How could I do that? By doing my job? By using evidence to convict you?”
“I would expect no less, but I need to ask. Was there much evidence? Is that not my right to know the reason for the charges placed against me?”
“This isn’t a court of law.”
Chuckling, I reached for my drink. “But you’ve already tried and convicted me, assuming my guilt.”
“That was before.”
“Before what? As you said, you don’t know me.”
“But I know your character. You’re a killer.
I have no doubt about that, but when you say you didn’t do something, you didn’t because you don’t mind confessing and owning up to your sins.
You might not believe me, but beneath that thick armor and surly demeanor you do have a heart.
You simply had it broken with the death of your brother. ”
“As I said, you might not enjoy learning what’s beneath the armor.”
I thought about the clear insight she had, surprised she’d managed to weed through the bullshit with so much ease. I lifted my drink in honor of the beautiful woman. “I feel honored you figured that out. I am a man of integrity. Whether most choose to believe it or not.”
She allowed her wineglass to touch mine, taking a careful sip while her eyes darted back and forth. While I wasn’t pleading for my life, I sensed she had a better understanding of me. Did that make her more comfortable being in my presence? Of that I wasn’t certain.
“Then what could I do to anger you, Alexander? You are so certain I’m going to betray you. You don’t even know me just as I’ve said I don’t know you.”
Was she really challenging me? Was she daring me to open that can of worms? Once I did, I feared what I would do. “Then tell me about you, Catherine, about how far you’d go to protect the ones you love.”
I could tell the moment a thought entered her mind. “Hold a knife to my father’s throat and tell him if he dared try and interfere with my mother’s life or her mental health again, I would kill him myself.”
As soon as she uttered the words, she looked away, a nerve struck. The way she bit her lower lip called on something entirely different inside of me, a feeling that I hadn’t endured for a number of years.
Empathy for someone else.
Very gently, I cupped her chin, forcing her to look at me. Tears slipped past her long eyelashes, dripping slowly to her cheeks.
“Not my finest hour,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, Alexander. I don’t usually share my personal business with anyone either. It’s just that I never expected my father to betray us the way he had. He was all my mother had. She loved him dearly.”
“And he shouldn’t have hurt either one of you, my angel.
Family is very important no matter who we are or how we ended up.
I’m many things including a killer, but that is sacred to me.
You father deserves to suffer.” I hadn’t realized that I’d tightened my hold on her lovely face until she gently but forcefully tried to pry my fingers free.
“You can’t go around beating or killing everyone in my life just because they did something not so nice.”
The spark in her voice had returned, but I sensed more of the reason was to keep me from sliding off the deep end. She’d caught me in perhaps what my brothers would call a vulnerable moment, showing her the lengths I would go to for her safety.
And perhaps for her happiness.
Three hours earlier I’d already slapped a label on her as a traitor. Now, all I wanted to do was to keep her from suffering any harm because she’d tumbled into a completely foreign world where the good guys didn’t always win.
Neither did the bad.
“That’s where you’re wrong, sweet angel. Yes, I can. And I will. To answer your earlier question of how you can betray me. Let’s just say I hope you never find out.”