Chapter 27 Maya
Maya
“Please come with me today. I don’t want to be alone with that bitch.” I give Ethan a pleading look.
“Once with that girl was enough for me, Rivers. Now she won’t stop calling. Be glad I offered to drive you.” He buckles his seatbelt and starts the Hummer.
“I can tell by the way she looks at me that she hates me.” She has no reason to either.
“She doesn’t hate you, she’s jealous of you.”
Bullshit.
“Her, jealous of me? Whatever.” I buckle my seatbelt with annoyance. It’s going to be a long day.
“Not whatever. You’re fine as Mississippi moonshine, my dear! And look who your best good friend is?” He smiles. “Why wouldn’t she be?”
“She has no reason to be.” She looks like sex on a stick, and I look like a river rat.
“Sasha might be the office whore, but it’s no secret that she’s been after Nick for years.” He looks at me like I should know this. Deep down, I do.
“That still doesn’t have anything to do with me.” If a woman who looks like her can’t land a man like him, I sure as hell don’t stand a chance. “As far as she knows, I’m Nick’s niece.” I give him a strange look.
“She asked him to dance, he turned her down. But he cut in on Marcus for you, so to her, you are competition—family or not. It’s the way girls like her work. They can’t stand to be outdone or picked over.”
I don’t even try to hide my laugh. “He told me I should let Marcus take me out, believe me he’s not interested, fake niece or not.” I don’t think Ethan knows about the incident in the hot tub and how it was after that Nick told me to go out with Marcus.
“I know Nick and how he operates. He’s a control freak—everyone knows that—but he’s also been more lenient and put more effort into your wellbeing than he ever has anyone—myself included. You think he would let some random stranger off the street talk to him the way you do?”
I don’t answer so he continues,
“I get away with it because I’m family. Emma because she’s helped look after him since he was in diapers.
Anyone else would be dead by now. Believe me, you don’t want to see him when he’s mad.
He’s given you a choice to think for yourself about what and who you want.
I see the way he looks at and responds to you.
When you danced with Marcus, Nick never took his eyes off of you, and Sasha noticed.
She’s used to having his attention. Now, tell me again how this has nothing to do with you. ” He looks over at me.
“That doesn’t mean he wants me or would somehow magically pick me over her.” I cross my arms over my body, not wanting to have this conversation right now—or ever.
“You know Rivers, I could write a book on all the ways you’re wrong. Can’t you just see me, sitting in a cute little coffee shop with my laptop, listening to my characters tell me their stories.” He does a little dance in his seat.
“Pretty sure that’s called schizophrenia,” I mumble and look out the window at the passing coastline. Despite my sour mood, it really is a beautiful day.
“I like to think of it as a team meeting. Look, try opening those pretty brown eyes and observing things. I think you’d see how right I am.” He reaches over to pat my arm.
I’ve worked hard to avoid him as much as possible since he told me I could go out with his men.
I enjoyed what we did in the hot tub, but I can’t afford to let him get in my head.
I don’t want to be bogged down by a man yet again.
I want to focus on my future. Especially since he basically told me he doesn’t want me.
If I am going to have sex with someone, I want it to be meaningless. Even if it was an option with Nick, I’m not sure I could do it without developing feelings. Not just because he was the first man to make me orgasm, but because I’m so easily smitten by him.
I can’t even breathe properly when he’s around. I’ve toyed with the idea of actually texting Marcus. I was warned he would use me for one thing, and I might be ok with just having a quick fling.
“I can’t see Nick being tied down with someone.”
“That’s true. Nick isn’t capable of that, but he does care about the wellbeing of the people closest to him.”
I can’t help the ridiculous sputtering laugh that escapes me. I don’t even know why we are having this conversation.
“Can we talk about something else, please?” Before I lose my mind.
“Sure. Better yet let’s have a sing along…” He turns the radio on and starts singing along like Terry Crews in White Chicks, causing me to instantly bust out laughing.
I like this not-so-serious version of Ethan so much better. “Leave it to you to pick ‘A Thousand Miles’ by Vanessa Carlton.” Yep, he’s my best good friend.
I have a lot to be thankful for when it comes to Ethan. He had nothing to gain from staying on the farm with me as long as he did. In fact, he was working double time.
During the day he helped me on the farm. At night he worked on his surveillance stuff or whatever Nick needed him to do. He had to be exhausted but never showed it. Every morning he greeted me with a smile.
I could live a thousand lifetimes and never meet another person who is as genuine as him. I do worry about him, though. When I try to ask him about his upbringing, he kinds of shuts down and states he doesn’t like to talk about it.
I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror with the thigh-high boots, black leather miniskirt that exposes my backside and thong, and a rhinestone bra. What would Mama think if she could see me now?
I’ve come so far from being the too-skinny, dirty, straggly hair, sunken-eyed girl from Whiskey Rivers, but is this any better? It’s not like I’m truly selling my body, it’s just an undercover job that requires me to act the part.
Tears prick my eyes—this is just another stepping stone I have to cross to get to a brighter future. “I promise I’ll make you proud of me one day,” I whisper to myself. I haven’t given much thought on what she would think about me killing my father.
He really is dead—blown to smithereens because of me. The thought is sobering. I’m not sorry, but I hope Mama forgives me. The news reports stated there wasn’t enough left of him to bury, so the county cremated what they found. I don’t know or care what they did with his ashes.
I wish they’d burn him again for good measure. The fires in hell are not hot enough for the punishment he deserves, but I hope he’s burning there anyway.
I wish I had been strong enough to do what I did a long time ago, maybe Mama would still be alive. I often wonder what it would’ve been like to live life with her and without him.
It’s early summer and the warm breeze is blowing softly. I’m standing on a ladder leaned against the shed behind the house painting the trim while Mama’s Chicago CD plays on the radio.
The sun shines brightly without a cloud in the sky. I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day. I often fantasize on what life would be like if every day could be this nice.
We had macaroni and stewed tomatoes for lunch.
Mine—and mom’s—favorite comfort food. She only makes it for the two of us.
Daddy hates tomatoes. One of my best childhood memories is canning tomatoes with Mama.
It’s a tradition I look forward to every summer and will continue to do when I’m all grown up.
Mama is sitting next to me with some bags of dirt, potting daisies—her favorite flowers. Daddy’s been gone for a few days on one of his benders, leaving me able to spend some quality time with her.
“I think you’re going to love it when we are all done. I’ve got new furniture on order, and when it comes in, we can move the old stuff out here so you can have your own space to study or read one of your books.” She looks up and me and smiles.
She told me it was so I could have some independence, but I know it’s her way of helping me get away from Daddy when she’s at work. Out of sight, out of mind.
I wish I could live that day all over again.
Mama loved crafting and decorating. Every Christmas she hand-painted me a new ornament and one year painted me a Snoopy sweatshirt. For a while, she tried her hand at making stained glass suncatchers, picture frames, and even a lamp.
She could sew, crochet, knit, and paint. She could also sing, play guitar, and always wanted to learn to play the piano. There was no limit to her talent and creativity. That gene must’ve skipped me. I’m about as crafty as a carboard box with the same amount of musical talent.
She worked on crafts in secret when Daddy was gone. The shed was a project we never finished because on July 6th that same year, she took her last breath.
Daddy burned the shed down when he burned the rest of her things. He kept the old furniture and returned the new stuff for a refund that he used on drugs instead of a funeral for her.
“Girl, you’ve got to try this on! It would be so cute on you!” Sasha hands me a hot pink bikini with a matching mesh cover, interrupting my thoughts.
She’s been overly friendly like she’s trying too hard. I’m not sure what’s worse, that or the icy stares she gave me in Sapphire.
I hold it up examining the thin material. “I think I’ve got enough to get me started.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. A girl can never have enough clothes and shoes.” She hands me a matching pair of hot pink stilettos. These, I like.
“Don’t you think Nick is going to shit a brick when he sees his credit card bill?” Annoyance fills her face. I think she’d rather do anything but mention Nick is the one doing this for me and not her.
“Don’t worry, he can afford it. You should see the things he gives me his card for.
I bring his lunch every day, make sure his office is stocked with all his favorite whiskeys, he buys me fresh flowers every week for my desk.
I pick up all his custom-tailored suits.
” She runs her hands down the length of her body.
“This is just a small expense compared to the clothing and jewelry allowance he gives me to go to functions with him.”
Of course she does all that. I wonder how many times a day she drops to her knees for him.
After leaving the exotic clothing store, I’m in a bad mood and my confidence is even worse than it was.
Sasha got a few things for herself, and of course, with her curves and fake boobs, she filled everything out in all the right places.
My form’s drastically improved over the last few months, but I’m still on the smaller side. I wish I had her long legs and height.
She couldn’t help but rub in what Nick does for her every chance she had. I get it, Sasha, you’re the favorite, now shut the fuck up. I rolled my eyes so hard at her on so many occasions I saw my own brain.
Memories of my mom cross my mind every day, most days are better than others but today is not one of them.
I just want to lay in my bed and be left the fuck alone, but I can’t.
I spent all morning shopping, I have to spend the afternoon with Sasha at Sapphire leaning how to dance on a chair and pole, then I have self-defense training with Lucas this evening.
I barely have enough time in the evening to shower and catch up on my schoolwork. I’m doing great and maintaining an A in both my classes, surprisingly.
“Let’s get some lattes and chicken salad sammies before we hit Sapphire. I’m famished.” Sasha feigns a fake fainting spell. Who knows who or what she was out all night doing.
“Sounds good,” I mumble, staring out of the window. Honestly, I’m not very hungry, and my stomach is cramping, signaling my incoming period. They’ve been coming more regularly since I’ve been eating properly. I should be starting in a couple days. Yay me.
“Lighten up, would you, you’ve gotten so many new cute outfits and shoes, you should be elated.”
Slut clothes, Sasha. I have new slut clothes that barely cover me.
I’m not shy or modest, and I’m damn sure not going to shame another woman who chooses to wear these things, they just don’t look good on me.
I’m not pretty. This isn’t going to work and they’re going to fire me because no man is going to want me to perform for him.
I should tell Nick I quit and have him let Sasha take my place instead.
I’m going to drown in the endless spiral of negative thoughts. My phone pings. Speak of the devil…but when I look down the text isn’t from Nick, it’s from Marcus.
11:54 a.m. - Hey beautiful. I just got back into town. Wanna grab some lunch?
My heart rate spikes at the excitement. I didn’t think he cared to talk to me even though Nick gave him the go ahead to do so. I send him one back
11:54 a.m. - Hey, stranger! I’m busy today. Raincheck?
That sounds so stupid.
11:55 a.m. - Ethan said you would be at Sapphire this afternoon, mind if I stop by? I’d love to see you again.
Shit. Do I want him to meet me there? I have no idea what I’m doing and not sure if I’m ready for an audience. I’m going to have to start work sooner rather than later. I suppose I’m going to have to get used to men watching me dance eventually. I take a deep breath and send him a text back.
11:57 a.m. - Sure, sounds great! I’ll see you there : )