Thirteen
Ethan
With a sigh that feels like it scrapes the bottom of my soul, I shuck my briefcase onto the polished marble floor and pull the set of keys from my pocket. They clink with an almost mocking cheerfulness as I drop them into the stupid glass bowl on the entry table.
My tie, a silk noose around my neck, feels suffocating. I loosen it with a grunt, then rip the damn thing off, tossing it without a glance onto the pristine white couch.
I need a drink—a stiff one. Spending the short amount of time with Ollie today completely wrecked me in a good way.
His wide, innocent eyes, the way his small hand fit so perfectly in mine, and the way he smiled at me.
Lily and I were supposed to have more children.
We talked about it, dreamed about it. But then she ended up having Ollie with another man instead.
Because of me. And yeah, it hurt like a son of a bitch, that gaping hole in our shared future.
But the kid? Ollie is sweet as hell. And I don’t despise him.
Not for a second. In fact, seeing him today, seeing how much he needs...
something, someone... it solidified this gnawing feeling inside me.
I want to get to know him better. I don’t know who the kid’s biological father is, or why he isn’t around, but every child needs a father.
I have enjoyed every single minute of my own kids’ lives, every scraped knee, every bedtime story, every goofy drawing.
I want that for Ollie. He deserves that.
I reach the gleaming chrome and dark wood of my built-in bar.
My hand finds the heavy, crystal decanter of bourbon.
The amber liquid sloshes satisfyingly as I pour a generous measure into a tumbler, the ice clinking like tiny, distant bells.
I take a long, slow drink, the bourbon burning a path down my throat, a welcome heat spreading through my chest.
My phone buzzes with a text from Lily. My heart does that familiar little lurch.
Lily: Thank you, Ethan. I really appreciate you picking up Ollie. That was very kind of you.
Me: No worries at all, Lily. How are you feeling today?
Lily: Getting there, slowly.
Yeah, she is still not well. And the “slowly” confirms it. It is her quiet signal, the one she’d use whenever she was completely worn down from the kids, taking care of the house, or when she was fighting off the flu, trying to convince everyone she was fine.
Me: This might sound a bit out of the blue, and seriously, no pressure to say yes, but it’s my night with the kids tomorrow. Would you mind if Ollie tagged along?
A beat passes. No reply.
I can almost picture her staring at her phone, probably wondering what the hell I’m playing at.
Why would I offer to take her son, whom she had with another man?
But after today, watching Ollie, something shifted.
I realized whatever happened between Lily and me, it wasn’t his fault.
He’s an innocent kid caught in the middle of our mess, and he doesn’t deserve my coldness.
Lily: Why would you do that?
Because I still love you. But I don’t tell her that.
Me: Sam has her class, and you’re still sick. It might give you more time to rest.
Lily: My parents said they could watch him if I needed them to.
Me: Sure, but I was planning on pizza and hitting up the arcade with the kids. I thought he might enjoy that.
Lily: He’d probably love that, yeah.
A long pause. Then the typing bubble appears again.
Lily: Thank you, Ethan. Truly. That means a lot.
Me: You’re welcome. Get some rest.
And then silence.
And my Sunshine on my mind.
“Hey,” Lily says, a weary smile touching her lips as she opens the front door.
“Hey.”
She still looks sick, but a lot better than she has recently.
Her hair is combed and styled in a high bun, soft tendrils flowing down the sides of her face.
The periwinkle sweater looks new; its soft knit clings to her frame better, not quite so loose as the sweatshirt I last saw her in.
My gaze involuntarily lingers on her legs, noticing the white leggings and how they hug her legs.
A grin forms on my face at seeing the fluffy purple socks I bought her years ago.
“Ollie is really excited.” Lily’s voice pulls my gaze from her feet to her face.
I manage a wider smile. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s a sweet kid, Lily.”
She nods proudly, a slight lift to her chin. “He is.”
A sudden, booming stampede of feet thunders down the steps.
“Hey, Dad.” Maddy bursts into the entryway with Ollie trailing a step behind her.
“Where’s Jake?” I ask Maddy, my eyes scanning past her.
She turns around, hands cupped around her mouth, and yells, “JAKE! Get your butt down here! Dad’s here!”
Lily winces, covering her ears with both hands.
Jake comes barreling down, taking two steps at a time. “Jesus, Maddy. Why are you yelling like the house is on fire?” He playfully tries to flick her forehead, but she’s too quick, dodging him with a giggle.
“Because I reminded you, like three times, you doofus. See you later, Mom!” Maddy waves a dismissive hand and heads out the door.
“Bye, sweet pea,” Lily calls out, a tired but affectionate smile on her face as she watches her go.
“Alright, let’s go. Ollie, you ready?” Jake asks, ignoring her jab, moving toward the door.
Ollie takes a step forward, looking unsure in his baby blue shorts, a crisp white printed tee, and sneakers that perfectly match his outfit.
“You like pizza, little man?” I ask him, kneeling in front of him.
He nods, his shyness replaced by renewed excitement. “Yeah. I like pepperoni, sausage, and bacon.”
I smile widely. “That’s my favorite.”
His eyes pop out, wide with disbelief and wonder. “It is?”
I nod, still smiling. “Since I was a kid.”
“That’s so cool,” he breathes, looking up at Jake. “That’s cool, right? He likes it like we do, Jake.”
Jake’s blue eyes pierce me, a look of confusion swirling in their depths. It’s a look that says, What are you doing?
“Yeah, bud,” he replies, turning to Ollie with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Come on, let’s go.” Jake picks him up, swings him onto his shoulders, and walks past me.
“Give him time to get used to it,” Lily says as she watches the boys leave the house. “Don’t let his mood ruin the night. Have fun.”
I nod, a lump in my throat, and turn to the door, but then glance over my shoulder at her as a last-minute thought occurs to me. “Does he have any allergies, or—”
She shakes her head. “No. He’ll eat anything.”
Like Jake and Maddy. Why does this strange, tight feeling grip my chest, a quiet longing that makes me wish Ollie could be my son?
“Hello?” Lily answers.
“Hey, Lily. It’s Ethan.”
I can almost hear the smile in her voice. “I know. Everything alright?” she asks.
“Right. Um, so, the weather is really… It’s getting pretty bad out here with all this heavy rain. And since we’re on the other side of town, with the roads already starting to get bad, I was thinking… maybe it’s safer if the kids just stayed with me tonight.”
A beat of silence stretches between us, and only the soft, shared sound of our breathing fills the void.
“Um, are you sure about that, Ethan?” she asks hesitantly.
“Yeah. I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” I say, perhaps a little too quickly. I glance over at Ollie, who’s perched on the edge of my couch, his small feet dangling, eyes wide and fixed on me.
She lets out a soft, almost wistful chuckle. “Okay. I’m fine with that. Can I speak with Ollie?”
“Hey, Ollie,” I say. He looks up at me, his small fingers twisting together in his lap. “Your mama wants to talk to you.” I hand him my phone, already pressing the speaker button.
“You’re on speaker, Lily.”
“Hi, Ollie,” she says, her voice instantly sweeter, lighter.
“Hi, Mama.”
“The weather’s gotten really bad, sweetheart, and it’s safer to stay where you are. Are you okay with staying the night with Ethan?”
“I want to stay here! With Ethan, Jake, and Maddy!” he answers immediately.
A smile spreads across my face.
She laughs softly, a sound that sounds like coming home. “Okay, sweetheart. You behave and have fun, okay? Listen to Ethan.”
“I will! Love you!” He makes a loud, exaggerated smooch sound into the phone, then, with a burst of energy, scrambles off the couch and runs toward Jake’s room, already calling out his name.
I take the phone off speaker and press it back against my ear. “I love you too, my sweet boy,” I hear Lily whisper.
“He’s already gone,” I say, a low laugh escaping me.
“Oh. So sorry.” She sounds a little embarrassed.
“Don’t be.”
We’re quiet for a moment, listening to the distant rumble of thunder. “Did you want me to try and pick them up tomorrow morning?” she asks.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll drop them off.”
“Okay. Thank you, Ethan. Really.”
“You’re very welcome, Lily.”
“Have a good night, Ethan.”
“Good night, Lily,” I whisper.
The call ends, leaving me with the sound of her voice echoing in my head.
“That’s pretty cool, Dad,” Maddy says.
I turn to face her, catching sight of her cupcake-shaped slippers peeking out from under her pajama bottoms.
“What’s cool, sweet pea?” I ask, a grin already forming as I pocket my phone.
“Including Ollie like he’s one of yours.”
Her words hit me, and there’s a sudden, heavy thud in my chest. For a second, I forget how to breathe.
She steps forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and giving me a squeeze. “Love you lots, Dad.”
“I love you more, sweet pea,” I manage, my voice a little rougher than usual, and I squeeze her back.
The sound of voices pulls my attention away to Jake and Ollie, shuffling down the hall.
“So, what do you guys want to do tonight?” I ask.
“How about a movie and popcorn?” Maddy suggests.
“Yeah! Popcorn!” Ollie cheers, punching his little fist into the air.
I look to Jake. “How about it?”
He shifts his gaze slowly from Maddy to Ollie, then finally to mine, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Sounds good to me.”
“Great!” I say, clapping my hands together. “You guys pick the movie, and I’ll get the snacks sorted.”
I head back toward the kitchen, but glance over my shoulder and see Ollie trailing right behind me, his little feet pattering on the floor.
“Hey, buddy. Are you okay?” I ask him.
He nods several times. “Can I help?” he asks, looking up at me with wide eyes. “Momma lets me help with the popcorn.”
“She does, huh?” I lean against the counter, a smile tugging at my lips. “What do you do to help?”
He lifts his arms, an invitation for me to pick him up. I chuckle softly, bending down and scooping him up under his armpits. I set him on the counter beside the sink, then walk to the cupboard and pull out the microwave popcorn.
“She lets me put the candy and nuts in the popcorn,” he explains.
I nod, retrieving a large mixing bowl from a lower cabinet. “That sounds like a very important job, Ollie.”
He shrugs, looking pleased with himself.
“Let’s see if I have what you need then.” I rummage through the cupboards until I find a bag of M&Ms, some peanuts, and a bag of mini pretzels.
I place the big bowl beside him and set the bags of goodies within his reach. I pop the bag of popcorn into the microwave and hit start.
The familiar whirring begins, followed by the first tentative pops, then a steady flurry. A few minutes later, the popping slows, and the microwave beeps.
Pulling the hot bag out, I carefully tear it open and pour the fluffy contents into the large bowl.
“Okay, buddy. What do I do now?” I ask him.
He points at the bags. “You have to open the bags first, and then put some in little cups for me. Then I put them in the bowl.”
“Got it, boss.” I do as he asks, tearing open the candy and nut bags and pouring a small amount of each into three little plastic bowls I found.
I watch as he pours the contents of each small cup into the popcorn bowl, one by one.
“We need more of this one,” he declares, his eyes fixed on the M&Ms, and he pours a generous extra helping into the bowl.
“Do you have a baggie?” he asks, looking up at me expectantly.
“Oh, like this one?” I grab a large Ziploc bag from the drawer. He nods.
“Now we have to put it all together and shake it,” he instructs, his voice serious.
“Okay.” I pour the popcorn and candy mixture into the bag and seal it. I start to shake it gently.
“More!” he says, a wide, infectious smile spreading across his face.
I laugh, shaking it harder, then start to bop my head and move my body like I’m dancing, throwing the bag up in the air and catching it, even attempting a clumsy tango step. He throws his head back, a pure, uninhibited laugh bubbling up.
Once it’s well mixed, I pour it back into the big bowl.
“I’ll meet you in the living room,” I say, helping him off the counter.
He carries the large bowl, his hands clutching the sides, toward the living room.
I grab the drinks, a stack of napkins, and some smaller individual bowls, then join them.
Jake is already sprawled out on the chaise side of the couch, looking comfy. I sit beside Maddy on the main part of the couch, and Ollie places the popcorn bowl on the coffee table before settling himself right beside me.
I pass out the drinks and prepare the smaller bowls with popcorn for each of them.
The movie starts with a low rumble of thunder faintly echoing from outside. Ollie scoots a little closer to me.
I look down at his innocent, trusting face, and a soft smile touches my lips. This. This is what I’ve always wanted, even before I knew it.
Maybe Ollie is an unexpected second chance for all of us.