Thirty-nine
Ethan
“The kids have been asking for a movie night. Are you up for it?” I ask Lily while pushing her on the wooden swing hanging from the tree in our front yard.
It was one of Lily’s requests to have this added when we bought the beach house.
“I’d love that,” she says.
I propel the swing forward as Lily murmurs one of her favorite Bryan Adams tunes, bringing a smile to my face.
I love moments like this. The gentle sounds of the waves whooshing, lapping like a steady heartbeat.
We watch, soaking it all in, as kids and teenagers dash, giggling, along the shoreline.
Couples stroll side by side, lost in each other as they walk alongside the water without a care in the world. The way Lily and I used to be.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Lily asks.
Her head drops back, silver gray eyes gazing up at me.
I grin down at her, a warmth blossoming in my chest, a feeling so deep it threatens to consume me. Leaning in, I claim her bow-shaped lips. Once, twice, then a lingering, breathless kiss.
“I want to recreate another memory,” I whisper against her mouth, my thumb tracing the delicate curve of her jaw.
Her eyes, still closed from the kiss, flutter open. “Oh, yeah? Which one?”
I release the swing and stand before her with a mischievous smirk on my face. Without warning, I bend down, scoop her up, and sling her over my shoulder.
“Ethan! What the hell are you doing?!” Her shriek is a mix of surprise and pure happiness as she bounces in my arms.
“Feeling nauseous yet?” I ask with a chuckle, striding down the sandy path leading to the beach.
“No, but I will be if you don’t put me down!” she protests, smacking my ass.
A few steps later, I slow my pace, carefully shifting her in my arms, bringing her around until she is nestled against my chest, bridal style.
She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me tight. “You are crazy, Ethan!” she declares, throwing her head back, her laughter echoing.
God, that sound. Her laughter is what I live for, and I will miss it more than words can ever convey. I blink back the burning sorrow that bleeds from my heart as we continue our journey toward the ocean.
My feet sink into the sand, each step an effort to keep her steady until my toes meet the icy kiss of the ocean. The waves lap at my calves, and I look down at Lily. My Sunshine.
I lean my forehead against hers, closing my eyes, her delicate hands framing my face, her touch grounding me. I breathe in the warm, salty breeze, the cool water swirling around my ankles, and relish the weight of her, my beautiful angel, in my arms.
Then a low hum starts in my chest, a melody forming on my lips. “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams pours out of me.
Her smile stretches wider, her eyes glistening with nostalgia and love. “Our song.”
It’s the song I sang to her the very first time I declared my love for her.
When I hit the higher notes a little off-key, she giggles. I take a step deeper into the water, feeling it rise to my knees. With Lily still in my arms, I lower us into the ocean, her legs wrapping around my waist.
“I am so in love with you. More than I ever have, if that’s even possible,” I whisper against her lips, my hands finding her hips, and giving them a squeeze.
“And I feel so lucky to be loved by you,” she breathes back, her lips meeting mine in a soft kiss that deepens into something more. Our tongues find each other, a tentative, almost shy dance that quickly deepens, picking up the pace. She tastes like sugar and strawberries.
A chorus of wolf whistles erupts from a group of teenagers further down the beach, making us both pull back, laughing against each other’s mouths.
I place my hands on the nape of her neck, drawing her lips back to mine, kissing her with years’ worth of longing, desperation, regret, forgiveness, and grief. The waves continue their rhythmic dance around us.
Holding her like this makes me question if I have created a safe enough haven for Lily, to give her the world, to remind her, every single day, that she is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me.
I want to tell her repeatedly that she makes my life better and inspires me to be a better man, a better father, and a better husband.
And now... now I’m losing her. A sharp heat prickles at my eyes, and I press my lips against hers more intensely, as if I can make this moment last forever.
Lily must sense the shift, the sudden, desperate edge to my kiss. She pushes me away, her brow furrowing. I try to draw her close again, needing to feel her, but she stops me.
“Ethan?”
I turn away, not wanting her to see my pain, but she cradles my face, forcing me to look at her.
Her frown deepens as she takes me in. “What’s wrong?”
“It should be me,” I rasp.
“What should?” she asks.
“Your fate. It should be mine. Lily, if I could take your place, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
Her jaw drops. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I can’t do this without you. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist,” I choke out, sucking in a ragged breath, pulling her closer, needing to feel every inch of her against me. “I don’t want to. Please don’t make me do it. Please, Lily.”
“Oh, Ethan.”
I bury my face on her shoulder. “We finally got it right, and now we’re running out of time,” I cry.
“I don’t see it that way,” she says softly. I pull back, searching her eyes so I can understand what she means by that.
“You don’t?” I ask.
She runs her hands over my head, and I close my eyes, savoring the warmth of her touch and feeling comforted by her presence.
“No, I’m not scared of dying anymore. Do you know why?”
I shake my head.
“Because you and our children are the best things in my life. And even though we don’t have forever, it was everything. You and the kids are everything to me, Ethan. Let’s spend the rest of my days making each moment count. Okay?”
I nod and promise I will do the best I can to keep that smile on her face until she takes her last breath. She’s right; I cannot love her as if she’s already gone. This may not be the ending we asked for, but we were given a second chance, and I sure as hell am not going to waste it.
Not a single second.
I burst into the living room, arms overflowing with a stack of fluffy blankets.
“Alright, my minions. Extra blankets have arrived,” I announce, drawing all eyes to me.
I toss the blankets on Ollie and Jake, sprawled on the floor amid the makeshift fort they built from pillows and blankets.
Then I flash a grin to my sexy wife, holding up the thickest blanket of the bunch. “And the grand prize goes to us.”
“Oh, yay!” She giggles, stretching her hands out and wiggling her fingers.
I sink down beside her and spread the heavy blanket over us. Lily melts right into my side, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. I drape an arm around her, drawing her closer.
Just then, Maddy pops in from the kitchen, her gaze sweeping over the scene. She raises a finger, checking off an imaginary list as she runs her eyes over us.
“Blankets, check. Popcorn, check. Drinks, check. Snacks, check.” She pauses, tapping her chin with her finger. “Are we missing anything?”
“Yeah, for you to get out of the way so we can watch the movie,” Jake mumbles, playfully nudging his foot toward her to move.
Maddy sidesteps his attack, sticking her tongue out before dropping onto the mountain of blankets on the floor, settling beside Ollie and Jake.
“What movie did you guys pick?” I ask, pressing a soft kiss to Lily’s temple.
“Zootopia 2!” Ollie exclaims, raising two fingers and looking upside down at us.
I glance down at Lily, creasing my brow. “Zootopia 2? What the hell is that?”
She tilts her head back, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Seriously? You never heard of the movie?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
Her eyes bug out, and a devious smile creeps across her face, illuminating her features like she has a sudden, brilliant idea. “You know what that means, kids?” she sings.
“Binge, baby, binge!” Maddy shouts, springing to her feet and darting toward the remote.
“You should’ve lied, Dad.” Jake chuckles, popping a popcorn kernel into his mouth.
“Ah, come on,” I groan, letting my head loll back against the plush cushions.
Lily jabs my side playfully. I flinch, a surprised gasp escaping me.
“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” she teases. “Think of it as a double feature at the drive-in.”
I sigh again, a little less dramatically this time, and look down at her, my gaze softening. “Well, I would,” I whisper, leaning closer so only she can hear, “but we both know what happens afterward at the drive-in, and it’s definitely not PG-rated.”
A blush creeps up from her neck, painting her cheeks a delicate rose. “Maybe we should make it a sequel,” she purrs.
And just like that, my dick likes her idea very much. This is going to be a long night.
Lily
I sluggishly blink awake from sleep to find the credits rolling across the television screen, softly illuminating the dim room. Beside me, Ethan is asleep, his arms trapping me in place. My hand rests on his chest, feeling the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing.
My eyes drift below to see Ollie and Maddy. Ollie is half on, half off the mountain of pillows, one leg thrown carelessly over Maddy’s leg, who is curled on her side in a tangle of blankets. I blink again, trying to clear the last cobwebs of sleep, searching for Jake. But he is nowhere to be found.
Then a blur of motion from my right catches my attention, and a low, guttural growl that escalates into a full-throated war cry. “MEGA KNIGHT!”
Jake is moving at full speed, a wild grin splitting his face, hurtling toward us like a human cannonball. The sudden, earth-shattering yell rips through the room, jolting everyone awake.
“What the—” Ethan’s voice is a rough, sleepy rumble, cut short as his eyes shoot open, widening comically. He looks like a startled deer as Jake launches himself into the air, a human projectile aimed squarely at our heads.
“Jake!” I shriek, a laugh bubbling up from my chest as I try to scrabble away, my legs still twisted in the blankets. Ethan flails his arms, trying to cover my body with his own.
A chorus of startled yelps and gasps erupts from the floor.
Jake lands with a soft thud right beside my head, narrowly missing both of us.
“What the hell was that?!” Ethan yells, but soon after, uncontrollable laughter bursts out of him.
Jake clutches his stomach, his shoulders shaking, tears streaming down his face as he wheezes, “You should’ve seen your faces! Freaking priceless!”
Though my time may be limited, I hold on to this moment with all my heart. This is a memory they will remember forever, long after I am gone.