19.
Heather
T he vampire’s domain is certainly … spooky. Though I haven’t seen anything outside the castle, the shadows surrounding us tonight are a dark mist. There’s a smell of dampness in the air, so different from the fresh florals that waft down the hallways of Queen Plume’s castle. Standing on the landing, I reach out to touch the banister and a thick coating of dust cakes my fingertips. Either no one has been here in a long time, or they’re forsaking cleanliness for the sake of aesthetic.
I was so angry the last time we ate in the dining room, I barely paid attention to any of these charming details. Maybe if I would have looked around more while trying to set Magnus up, I would have leaned into finding him a nice goth girl to settle down with, but we’re past the point of doing each other favors.
Magnus leads on with no apologies for the state of things, which leads me to believe he must be used to this. I get the whole spooky haunted castle vibe, but there’s theming but he probably has enough money to invest in a Roomba.
I wipe the dust off on a fold of my dress and take in the sight of an equally disheveled landing. Despite its worn appearance, there’s a warm glowing light flickering down the hallway, accompanied by music and the clinking of cutlery. Each step forward feels like I’m walking toward a haunting—not a celebration.
“Don’t worry,” Magnus assures me by placing a hand on my shoulder. “It is a less favorable group than last, but I’m sure they will hate you just as much as you intend.”
“By ‘less favorable’ do you mean stabby?” I ask. “Or are they just going to make fun of my outfit behind my back?”
“With me on your arm, they wouldn’t dare.” The answer doesn’t give me the clarity I was hoping for. Reaching into the pocket of his red velvet jacket, he produces a small keychain, part of it at least.
“Oh my God!” I squeal, jumping up to snatch the ridiculous thing from him and hold it tight to my chest. Moth will totally laugh when I tell him how much of a silly comfort this thing was while I was gone, but damn, I’m glad to have it back—even if it’s still snapped in half.
“It was found on a staircase; I couldn’t have thought of anyone else it might belong to.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You really do love him, don’t you?”
“With everything I have.”
He sighs, offering me his arm. Against my better judgment, I take it, allowing him to lead me into my last night in the vampire’s domain.
“Now,” he straightens himself as we reach the doorway, “time to break our fake engagement, I suppose.”
“Why is this dinner so important to you anyway?” I ask. The last one seemed like a nonevent, and I don’t think anyone in his court will be sad to see me go.
“Ah—” Magnus flushes a little. “This was meant to be our wedding rehearsal.”
It has been another uneventful, albeit fancy, dinner with annoying nobles. I’m grateful—but startled—when the cellphone I hid using a garter on my thigh begins to vibrate. Magnus figured the thing was too water-logged after falling into the spring at Gil’s, and honestly, so did I. But when I asked him to bring me two cups of dry rice as a snack after we returned to the castle, he didn’t question my human diet. And though it’s been glitchy at best, it is kind of … almost working. As the phone sends another round of vibration up my leg, I jump, and all eyes drift toward Magnus and me. Someone smirks knowingly as if they’ve discovered us in the midst of an act of voyeurism and—
Ew, as if.
“Will you excuse me for just a moment?” I ask, and no one objects this time. If anything, I think I hear a sigh of relief from the far side of the table.
I’ve continued to be as annoying as possible, now more to soften the blow of our breakup than anything else—and it’s absolutely working. Magnus trusts me now. We’re almost done with this weird week, and strangely enough, I kind of like him—after our dinner together last night, at least. Something about the honesty, banter, and the way we joked made me feel like, in another life, I think we’d be friends. However, today is the last day of him as my kidnapper, and I’m not going to risk losing my chance at communicating with the outside world just because I’m warming up to him.
Slipping away, I head toward the corridor, in search of a few bars of cell service—because obviously I can’t take the call in the dining room, and I don’t want to head all the way back up to the tower. The phone continues to vibrate as I head down the hall, concealing myself behind a large staircase. The screen isn’t showing a preview and, with the persistence of the caller, it’s either Moth or someone calling about my car’s extended warranty.
“Babe!” I quietly squeal into the phone, assuming it’s him. “Oh my god, I have so much to tell you.”
“Where are you?” I guess it makes sense that we don’t have time for pleasantries. “I am in the pshhhhhh looking shhhhh— ”
“You’re breaking up.”
“We are what ?” His voice is panicked, and I can only imagine what he heard.
“No, oh my God!” I practically scream into the phone, holding it for dear life. “ The call! The call is breaking up!”
“ pshhh pshhh mortal realm—restaurant.”
“I’ll be back tonight! Magnus said he’s breaking the deal between us.”
“ Pshhhhhh shhhh. ” The static overtakes whatever he’s trying to say—and damnit, can’t we just get one more minute?
“Babe. Babe? The call is not working. I love you, okay? I love you—love, love you. I’ll be back tonight. I promise,” I say into the phone, wondering if I should risk hanging up and dialing him again.
“What are you doing?” Magnus suddenly asks from the doorway. The phone falls from my hands. “Is that—” His mouth creases into a frown.
“Oh Heather…” He strides forward, picking up the stolen phone. “You didn’t need to hide this from me. Did you speak to your lover?”
“Yeah, the signal was choppy, but I was able to tell him you’re letting me go,” I say. “And thanks, with everything that’s gone on, I was sure you’d be pissed.”
“I hope he is pleased you will be home soon, though I will be devastated to see you go.” There’s the same teasing tone as always, the smug smile. “You know, I was thinking…”
“ What? ” I ask, taking a step back. None of his thoughts or plans have meant good news for me so far.
“Why bother making a show of our breakup? Perhaps you could humor me with just one little run-through of what our nuptials would look like?” He reaches to cup his hand in mine but falls short, letting his fingers brush past mine as if I’m a ghost.
Somehow the pair of us have begun to walk, as the conversation turns into something I hope won’t become an argument. We pass the dining room, Magnus keeping his voice low all the while walking me down the long hallway to his quarters.
“Furthermore…” he says with a frantic energy I don’t like, as we enter his room—presumably so we can speak more privately, “seeing as you and your lover now reside in the mortal realm, consider this! We get married and fake your death. I will be in deep mourning as far as the court is concerned and—”
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
“You’re just going to keep doing this, aren’t you?” I gasp, stepping away. I’ve once again let my guard down. I’d like to blame the bond or Magnus’s charm, but I’m the problem. Despite discovering a new power within myself, I still just want him to be… well, good.
And he’s too desperate and lonely to be anything but the bad guy.
He made me feel like I was “someone who finally understood” him, and in some ways, maybe I do.
“Doing what?”
“Are you really going to break the deal tonight? Or are you just going to keep finding reasons to ask me to stay?”
“What in the realms are you talking about?” He has the audacity to look genuinely confused, but it’s all a part of the show. The nervous twitch of his lips confirms it. “I am simply offering a way out that suits both of us.”
“How exactly does faking my death do that?” I say, and as expected, Magnus does not have an answer.
I thought I was starting to really get him—that there was something under the surface I could see myself in. The mask, the fear, the worries about being perfect all the time. But he’s not some burnt out influencer like I was…
He’s so much worse.
“Is it wrong that, even as just friends, a room feels better with you in it?” he whispers. It should feel like a compliment but, instead, my body wants to stretch and bend and claw. Still, Magnus persists. “If you leave, he will never let me see you again…”
“Stop thinking about what Moth will allow—and think about what I want.” I draw in a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I’m my own person; if I wanted to be friends with Magnus, I would find a way to do that while still respecting my relationship…
But how can I want anything to do with a man who wants to keep me in his pocket, the way I do my broken Mothman keychain?
He’s right. After this, I’ll never see him again. Not because I’m forbidden, but because how could I ever want to? From everything I’ve seen, his court adores him; he has Gil. I know I’ve been the closest thing he’s had to a new friend in a while but—
“What is it in that room filled with vampires you’re so afraid of?” I snap, unable to piece it together, but my thoughts whirl in a frantic mess.
“I am not afraid of them—”
“I told you things.” Goosebumps rise across my back and shoulders. “You made me feel—”
Heard in some moments, ignored in others, but I should have known better than to let myself be vulnerable with him when he never intended to release me—not really.
“Perhaps we break this bond and create a new one—bound to visit each other once a year or—” He frowns. “Don’t look at me like that. I will let you go; I am just offering options .”
My claws begin to extend. God, it’s getting harder and harder to keep myself together with every lie that passes his lips. The blood in my veins seems to vibrate as it courses through me, like I’m filled to the brim with soda that has been violently shaken.
“Heather, Heather, my sweet. Please.” His gasp is sharp, almost pained as he takes a large step backward. “You cannot allow the monster inside you to take shape—not tonight. This is our last night together.”
“It might be your last night in general.” I focus on the way the tiles of the floor crack just slightly beneath his feet.
“No!” he hisses, his sharp canines on full display. “Everything I said to you last night was true. If I could keep you by my side as a confidant, I would always—”
I stomp, the weight of my leg suddenly heavier than if it was simply clad in a pair of heels. I tense and feel talons— my talons —scraping the old stone floor.
“Heather, my sweet Heather—focus, focus ! Bring your attention back to me,” he says, attempting to grab hold of my hands. Magnus draws in a deep breath, slow and deliberate, coaching me to do the same. “Like we did before, count with me or just listen to my voice. One, two—”
Soft needles pierce my skin as feathers sprout one by one, encasing my neck in a wreath, while my eyes swell and harden. The power of transformation is matched measure by measure by the pain coursing through my body. The counting, the soft tone of his voice—instead of calming me, each word drives tension further down my back until I’m all but being ripped apart.
“I am not your sweet !” I roar and it feels like fire ripping through my lungs. Footsteps rush into the hall.
Guards? Their movements blur in a display of vampiric powers. I am dimly aware of the tension of my limbs being pulled together by what feels like coarse rope.
“Release her this instant!” Magnus growls, except they don’t. The rope winds tighter and tighter until my red vision glosses over like a movie screen, playing footage from the night Chris kidnapped me. I can smell the wood of the barn even in this place of cold stone.
Tied up.
Helpless.
Live bait.
Or in this case, a prize.
No—no! I’m not letting that happen again.
“Do not touch her! Do you hear me?” Magnus’s voice rages through the chaos. “By order of your king.”
I snarl, shaking off the feeling of Magnus’s arms wrapping around me. The only person I want to have and hold is Moth, but that doesn’t seem like it stops these men from trying to take ownership of my life.
You’ll be happier.
I shrug him off.
I’m doing this for you.
I open my mouth to scream.
Fuck all of that.
I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again, the red cast over my vision is no longer speckled but fully pigmented, like lipstick smeared across a mirror. Everything on the other side is hazy, but I can still see Magnus. He’s trying so hard to save me, like a child who’s watching their new favorite toy fall into the mud.
Snap.
The ropes fall to the ground.
Crash.
The bodies fall next.
Magnus is among them. He reaches up to touch his face, blood trailing from a split lip. His pretty purple eyes widen, and that lean body shakes as he crawls backward.
“You’re—you—” he stammers, backing into a corner. Magnus, the great vampire king, shrinks into someone small and trembling right before my eyes.
“I’ve been saying this whole time: wait until Moth comes for me. He’ll destroy this place. He’ll kill you.” The shrill sound of my voice bounces off the stone walls, and Magnus cringes, covering his ears. “If you’re going to keep me here—I’ll do it myself!”
“ Heather !”
Another rope—this time from behind me—snakes around my body in an attempt to bind my arms to my torso. With a flex of my muscles, it’s fallen to the floor along with another set of guards.
“Stop! She just needs to calm down!” Magnus barks.
With a snarl, I dive past Magnus and straight toward the portal he keeps in the corner of his bedroom.
“This isn’t you,” Magnus pleads, racing in front of me. He holds his arms out wide, blocking me from the portal. “Please, turn back. Forgive me, life was so terribly boring before you came into it. Turn back. Let us talk through this one more time.”
“Release me now,” I order, straightening myself so I tower over him. If reason won’t let him willingly say the words, maybe fear will.
“Do you really think he’ll still want you like this!?” he shouts. The tips of my wings bristle at his words. Most of my life has been spent trying to look beautiful. For my mother, for the internet, rarely ever myself. Even on days when my joints ached and I felt pasted together, a good outfit or cute hairstyle had always made me feel … something. But this is more than the confidence you feel when wearing a new pair of heels. There is power here like I’ve never felt before, coursing through my veins.
My wings spread freely with no consideration for the valuables in the room. I’ve shifted into this body, and it feels like I’ve slipped into a new outfit—but I’m still the same person. My joints still ache.
I’m allowed to like both versions, and Moth will too. Won’t he?
I touch the shape of my face and find a beak where my mouth should be. Panic rises in my chest.
What if I can’t change back?
Does it matter?
Magnus can’t even look at you—what if Moth can’t either?
He’s different—Moth is different.
“Things don’t have to be beautiful to have value,” I say, echoing that early conversation. “He’s a better man than you are.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“Then move,” I growl.
“I’m not letting you through that portal while you’re out for blood. You’ve made a mess of my court, and I can’t risk setting you free now. Besides, you can only travel through them with me, as if I would go anywhere with you.”
“Magnus?”
“Yes?” he says, desperately.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.” I pick up his body like a rag doll. He’s used me this whole damn time; if he’s the key to the portal, it’s my turn.
“I release you from our bargain,” he screams as we crash together into the spiraling void. The last thing I hear before diving through the portal is shattering glass—one more broken mirror to decorate the vampire king’s room. Exhaling, I hold tight to a piece of my Mothman keychain in the safety of my tattered dress and think of home.