21.
Heather
M oth found me.
I should be thrilled—and I am, I really am . I want to throw myself into his arms, but I can’t let him see me like this. Still, I can’t keep myself away either. Diving through the trees, I fight the urge to double back and call his name.
Do you think he would still love you like this?
He would. He will. He does.
So why am I running away with his scent on the air? In this form, I can almost taste how close Moth is, and I need him now more than ever.
“My flame!” Moth cries, and I race toward his voice. He’s shifted now, his large red eyes even more owlish and wide when they meet mine. When his claws come down to clutch my shoulders, I can do nothing but stare at my future husband.
Do you think he would still love you like this?
“I need you too badly for this game of cat and mouse,” he says desperately as we hang in the air, finally together. He’s touching me, not repulsed, not cowering. Still, I lower myself to the ground and within my wings praying I can turn back.
He fell in love with a human.
I fell in love with a monster.
It’s not supposed to be the other way around.
I want to kiss him. I want to throw my arms around him—I want and want and want but my body stays stiff despite the urge to entangle my limbs with his. When I was human, I was worried about not being enough, and now I’m worried I’m too much, I cover my face with my claws. With patience and grace, Moth takes my hands in his.
“Sweet, darling flame—” I feel the weight of his claws easing my own away from my face. “Why would you ever need to hide from me?” His voice is pure midnight echoing through my ears, dropping the tension from my back. His hand gently touches my shoulder and I melt.
“But—”
“You have said you love me in any form. Do you not think I would feel the same?”
I launch myself into his arms.
“How did you even recognize me?” I cry, snuggling my head against the downy feathers of his chest. I inhale the scent of him—somehow, in this form, the scent of autumn is even deeper as I burrow into him.
“My flame,” he whispers, “I would know you anywhere.”
His beak meets mine in a strange kiss I can’t get enough of. For what feels like days on end I have been desperate to feel him, and now we’re finally together. It’s not the kiss I imagined, but it’s everything all the same.
“Moth—” I begin, unsure of what else to say. I love him, God, I love him more than anything. We crumble into each other, warm and content until my feathers melt into bare flesh.
We stand for a long time, his wings wrapped around me, keeping me warm against the cold autumn breeze. I move my hand across his chest and realize my ring finger is missing a very important piece of jewelry.
“My engagement ring!” I gasp, staring at my naked fingers with tears welling in my eyes “It… it must have fallen off when I—Moth, I’m so sorry—”
“It just a piece of jewelry, my flame,” Moth coos in my ear, pulling me tight until my head rests against his chest again. “It will be found, or it will be replaced. The most important thing is you are here.”
“I’m here. Oh my God, I’m here!” I hug him tighter. Tears I’d been holding in for too long are finally able to fall now that I’m home in his arms. As we start the long walk home, Moth shields me with his wings, though I don’t care that every creature in the forest has a view of my body. Neither of us are in any hurry to be anywhere but right here with each other. Eventually, he scoops me up in his arms, and I’m happily carried home.
I pepper kisses on his gold-flecked skin wherever I can reach, but then simply close my eyes and enjoy the ride—the feeling of being back with my forest monster. We catch each other up on what we’ve missed in the past few days. When I begin to drift off, we launch into the sky, but I’m too tired to keep my eyes open, and finally safe, I fall asleep in his arms.
Home.
This is home.
When I wake up from the deepest sleep I’ve had in days, it’s in our bed, dressed in my favorite pair of pajamas, and the smell of soap on my skin. Vague memories of Moth washing the grime from my body while I was half-asleep give me a warm fuzzy feeling as I realize my knotted hair has been lovingly brushed and sorted into two shiny braids. Sprout lays next to me, and I squeeze his furry body tight and his tail thumps in response.
It’s good to be back.
The house hums with activity beyond the bedroom door. Shaking off the sleep, I tentatively open it to see our small living room filled to the brim with, well … everyone. Except for Ruby and Pepper who I hope are enjoying a lazy Saturday with their kids. Rosie and Clara are seated at our small table, while Oak, Holly, Mom and even Queen Plume lounge on every other surface available—which honestly isn’t many.
“You are awake!” Moth rushes from the kitchen where it appears he was preparing breakfast and takes me in his arms.
“I’m awake and oh my God that smells amazing,” I say, my stomach grumbling. “Have you all been here this whole time?”
“I cleared them out upon arrival yesterday. Yet, like rats, they returned come morning.” Moth laughs, with no malice in his voice. If anything, he seems relaxed in this room filled with people.
“That’s a fine thing to say about your rescue team,” Oak says, crossing his arms tight across his chest.
“Yeah, we all helped!” Clara says.
“Even some people who won’t be mentioned,” Rosie grumbles as she and Clara wrap me up in a group hug.
“And you are fine friends indeed.” Moth’s face softens as he takes in the group that surrounds us. “Truly.”
“We were all so worried!”
“I know, I’m sorry.” I shake my head, still in disbelief about what’s transpired in the last few days. It feels like I haven’t been home in years.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Moth says, firm and reassuring. He gives my hand a squeeze ,and I overdramatically shrug my shoulders.
“ That depends on who you ask,” I counter. “Like you didn’t see my whole rampage in the Vampire Court. Oh god, you don’t think I actually hurt anyone, right?”
“It was only a little tiny bit of maiming, right?” Rosie says in a small voice. “That’s probably okay; he did kidnap you.”
“Oh my God,” I groan, covering my face with my hands. I appreciate how ride-or-die she’s being in this situation, but it’s taking everything in my power not to jump out of my skin. My wings stay flush against my back as if the act of relaxing even slightly will cause me to transform.
“Heather, from what I saw, you did no more than minor bodily harm. You’d have to practically dismember a vampire to—I’m sorry, is this bothering you?” Holly pauses, noticing the way Clara has pushed away her plate of monkey bread. To be fair, it does look a little too much like intestines coated in cinnamon sugar for comfort.
“Oh no, no, no—we regularly talk about disembowelment at the dinner table,” Clara says, her face as white as a sheet.
Wait a second—
“No one was disemboweled!” I shout. “I … think.”
“Dis-mem-ber,” Holly repeats slowly. “No one would judge you for tearing a limb or two in your rage.”
“Dismem—Honey, we are going to have a long talk,” Mom gasps, before wrapping her arms around me. Oh God, I have so much to explain to her.
“Heather will answer to no one,” Moth says dryly, a hand on my shoulder and it’s oddly just the thing I needed to hear. “And you are not to blame, not for any of this.”
“Yeah, we support women’s wrongs here!” Clara pipes in. Moth’s eyes cut in her direction, but everyone has dissolved into giggles. They all seem to have gotten so much closer while I was gone. I guess that’s one thing I can be grateful for.
Holly lets out a sigh, brandishing her weapon.
“No swords in the house, darling!” Queen Plume says, and my mother nods in agreement.
“And Heather, their court was in the wrong for holding you against your will. It is not the days of old. One cannot just steal a bride in the name of anything but theatrics. In my opinion, they still have a boon to pay.”
“I will check on the state of affairs,” Holly announces, sheathing her sword. She bares her pointed teeth before heading to the place in the living room where a portal glows.
“How? Isn’t it still warded?”
“Oh, that was taken care of when I returned the king to his court.” She marches toward the portal before pivoting on her heel to face her mother. “I will give you a full report of the chaos. Mother, you should join me, the leaders of both courts are meeting to discuss his fate.”
“You go, darling,” Queen Plume says adoringly. “You will be queen one day, after all. Have some practice while I get acquainted with Heather’s mother.” Why do I have the strange feeling these two are about to become BFFs?
Holly beams, clearly delighted by the task, before reaching the portal she doubles back, launching herself into my arms. “I am glad you are back, sister.” She says the words in a whisper, holding me close. Tears burn my vision but instead of blinking them away, I let them fall freely.
If anyone is allowed to be an emotional mess right now, it’s me. By the time she lets go, I feel exhausted, yet refreshed. I wave her off as she hops a world away.
The room buzzes with questions. I fill them in with what I can and am deservingly mocked for the whole dating profile thing—though, Queen Plume says it was ‘crafty’ which I will take. The faeries in our midst clearly feel a level of guilt for not warning me about things like bargains, but I’m just glad to be free from it.
“Can we take a walk?” I ask Moth, reaching out for his hand. He squeezes mine tightly.
“You would prefer that to resting?”
I nod. “I just want a minute with you if that’s fine,” I whisper.
“It is more than fine.” His smile is just the best.
“Oh, hang on,” Rosie says, snagging two iced coffees from the fridge. “I was hoping you’d be back soon. I may have meal-prepped your fridge while we waited for Moth to get back.”
Bless these friends of mine.
Rosemary brown sugar lattes have become one of Rosie’s signature items, and each sip I take, combined with the scent of the trees and summer wind on my face, are just the reminder I need that I’m finally home. I’ve traveled across the vampire’s domain all the way to the Dragonfly Court and still, nothing tastes as sweet as home.
Moth’s clawed hand interlaces with mine, and the rest of my tension leaves my shoulders.
“This is exactly what I needed.” I sigh, swinging our arms in time as we talk.
“You have taken the words from my mouth.” Wow, I’ve missed the way he takes the most casual of sayings and turns them into something dreamy. However, there’s a shake to his voice that’s unusual.
“When Magnus took me,” I begin, and feel the grip on his hand tighten, “he said you wouldn’t come for me. He said the way I left you at the ball made everyone think that I was fickle or something…” My exhaustion is getting the better of my words. I stop, turning so that our eyes meet. “Did you think I left you?” I finally ask.
He shakes his head, then nods, then shakes his head again. “It would be a lie to say I had no moments of uncertainty,” he says. “Then there was a picture of you on a … date with him.”
“Ew gross! It wasn’t a real date.”
“I do not doubt it.” He hangs his head, the red of his eyes shining with a sad gleam. To think this beautiful, strong creature could care so much for me that he would worry I’d find someone else. “Your scheme with him was … interesting.”
That’s a word for it. He should know I’m not interested in an enemies to lovers romance, not when I have the perfect sweet brooding monster right here in front of me.
“He said he was going to let me go…” I trail off. “Then, when he changed his mind, I just snapped. I’m so sorry for the damage I caused, by the way. I’ve never lost control like that before.”
“It was beautiful,” he says, stroking up the length of my jaw and a shiver of pleasure swells in my heart, unlocking a feeling that’s hard to describe. At the compliment, my claws grow and feathers spring from the flesh on my arms. My first instinct is to hide it behind my back, but Moth holds my hand steady, placing my palm to his cheek.
“He told me you wouldn’t like me in that other form,” I whisper, “and I know I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but it’s all just so different.”
“The vampire’s heart does not know true love.”
“No, no it doesn’t.”
“Nor does he deserve it,” Moth huffs, his fingers cupping my chin. “Having you back seems to be the only thing that eases my suffering.”
“This is the only place I want to be,” I say, fluttering up to meet his lips. He holds me there, pressed against each other in the middle of our woods.
Would he still kiss me like this if I was a monster?
I know the answer—I felt it last night. So why do I want to hear him say the words so badly? Still, right now his lips are soft, quieting my worries. We fit so well together—just like this.
We return home, and it’s perfectly cozy. The house is filled with people, trading details and stories. We debate on how to send Gil a last-minute invite to the wedding and wonder what a good thank you gift to a swamp monster would be. Moth seems to be fond of him too, and after hearing more details of his interaction, I look forward to grilling Holly on what exactly happened during the season the Dragonfly Court hosted. Who knew my sister-in-law had so many admirers?
As if on cue, Holly races into the house with a letter in her hand. Evening has fallen and there’s a satisfied grin on her face.
“Well done,” she says to Moth and me, a proud smile gleaming on her face. God, I must have really fucked shit up for her to be complimenting me like this. She hands me the piece of parchment. “The vampire king seems to have written to you while having his wounds dressed.”
“Oooh, read it aloud!” Rosie says, grabbing a seat next to Moth and me on the couch, clearly dying of thirst for one single sip of tea.
Heather,
I will not insult you by calling you “darling” or “love”—but I hope one day to be able to earn the title” friend.” You are right: as far as romance is concerned, the two of us were not suited. I still search for the “everything” you urged me to find.
While we could never be that for each other, your companionship was more than I could ever deserve. With the apologies of both my horde and the Dragonfly Court, we gift a boon of your choice. Know that we have much in terms of magic and riches to offer.
It is from the bottom of my heart that I apologize for my actions. I should have known better—done better—but, like all who came before me, I was selfish. The scars carved across my face by you and your lover will forever be a reminder that there is more to love than just the selfish wants of this vampire.
I deserved what was given—if I was in either of your shoes, a stake to the heart would have been a fair option for what I have done. This token will not change our past, but I hope you will accept it and beae no ill will toward the kingdoms I hold an unsteady rule over.
My friendship will remain if you ever choose to claim it.
Kindest Regards,
Magnus
I fold the letter and toss it on the floor. “I told you. Magnus is so pathetic.” The room lets out a collective groan.
“And you said I had a flair for the dramatic,” Moth grumbles.
“Yeah, he’s a lot.” I shake my head. “So, you clawed his face up?”
“I merely picked up where you left off.” He shrugs. “As he stated in the letter, his actions should have earned him much worse.”
“It sucks.”
“What does?”
“Is it terrible that I hope he does find happiness—or deserves it, at least?” I frown.
“ Heather! ” The group shouts in unison while Moth lets out a chuckle, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Really though. Even with everything that happened, I don’t think he’s all bad. Misguided, terrible priorities, sure, but he was so, so lonely.”
“So, send him a barn cat, not an olive branch,” Clara huffs.
That’s not a terrible idea. Magnus does seem to be a cat person and it would be more practical than… what did he say his favorite animal was? A hedgehog, maybe? I don’t remember, and it doesn’t matter, but the point is: he did seem to like cute, fluffy things. He’d protect it—and it would destroy the hell out of his castle.
“Your heart is too big for your own good,” Moth says, calming the chaos of our friends’ voices. I nod. That’s a pretty diplomatic response considering everything that’s happened. “He can have his happiness, so long as it is far away from you.”
“You are not the only one who has made questionable choices,” Moth huffs. “I hope you can forgive me for accepting information from the hunter.”
I shake my head. He explained it all when we walked last night; we had so much to catch up on, and even in my exhausted state, I’m just happy he kept looking for me.
“There’s nothing to forgive.” I shake my head, looking from him, to Rosie, then Clara. “Thank you for having my back… all of you.”
Chris wanted to hurt Moth—and he didn’t care if he hurt me in the process.
Magnus never wanted to hurt anyone, despite how selfish and messed up he was for holding me captive. Why am I defending him again?
“I know it’s probably not fair, considering what I said about Magnus, but you were right. When it comes to Chris, I just—” I never want to see him again.
And I’m glad Moth and my friends know me well enough to support that.
I can’t even bring myself to finish the sentence. Moth takes my hand in his, placing our hands on top of my chest. The warm feeling of his flesh encompasses mine makes my heartbeat steady. I exhale.
“Heather, he’s my brother and this still hasn’t wiped the slate clean,” Rosie says. “He’s grown though, and that’s something I didn’t count on. I might let him sit on the porch at Thanksgiving this year.”
“Maybe in the middle of the yard, if he’s lucky,” Clara jokes.
Moth brings me back with a squeeze to my knee.
“Just because you have a big heart doesn’t mean you need to allow everyone inside,” he says, and the feeling of his fingers across my skin is just as much a comfort as his words. He can meet me right at my most flawed and forgiving (or unforgiving) and accept everything he sees.
“You know it’s yours, don’t you?’
“And I am lucky to have it.” He kisses my hand. “But the next one who tries to steal you away from me will have their skin turned to ribbons.”
“Oh, yeah, no. Go for it. I’m so not dealing with any of this again.” I shake my head, reviewing kidnapping with the distaste of someone leaving a 1-star review on a local coffee shop. 0 Stars, the Wi-Fi is terrible. “Claw to your heart’s content. As long as I’m in your arms, I’m home.”
Moth’s lips quirk. “You can have everything, my flame,” he says. “I will make certain of that.” With Moth—there’s no doubt.
“Get married already, you two!” Oak shouts, making a face.
“We intend to,” Moth says, draping an arm around my shoulder before he pulls me in for a kiss.
After everything that’s happened this week, tomorrow is finally the day.
I can’t wait.