Chapter 16
Thank goodness Mallory walked in and saved me from my embrace with Shayna.
Okay, that’s a lie.
Thank goodness Mallory walked in and saved me from myself. From the weird mixture of emotions that started rising to the surface like small green flower buds popping through the dirt at the first sign of spring.
I don’t know who I am anymore—who Shayna is making me become. She has me speaking in flower talk and thinking about things like her floral perfume and questioning what I really want.
I clench my hands—which are still trembling from hugging Shayna—into fists, trying to get a grip on myself. After my sister is finished greeting her friends, she falls onto the couch beside me and nudges me with her elbow. “Griffin says hi.”
Everyone falls back into conversation around us, laughter filling the room.
This kind of environment has always been overstimulating for me and makes me retreat into myself even more.
I turn to my sister. Since she’s family, I usually feel a little less awkward around her than most people, but being in a party environment leaves my palms sweaty and my mind racing.
I move my gaze around the room and instantly spot Shayna.
My shoulders fall as the tension leaves my body.
I turn my attention back to Mallory. “Good trip?” I keep things short and sweet to leave no room for error.
I expect her to roll her eyes at my briefness, but my sister has a far-off look about her, like her mind is still in LA with her movie-star boyfriend. “It was amazing. Being with Griff in person reiterated everything I feel about him. He’s the one for me.”
I search out Shayna in the room again and ask, “How do you know he’s the one?”
Mallory stares at me, probably trying to figure out if I’m an imposter. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
Yep, I called that. I shrug. “Just curious how people know things like that.”
She raises an eyebrow. “For any particular reason?”
I think she’s trying to call my bluff. But I don’t know if there’s anything to even bluff about.
I avoid emotions like they cause third-degree burns.
That makes it a little more difficult to understand the cacophony of things stirring inside me lately.
But talking about my feelings…that thought feels like walking into a burning building without my turnouts.
I frown. “Just making conversation.”
She stares blankly. “I repeat, who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “I won’t ask any more questions.”
“No, no. I’m just shocked you’re trying to hold a conversation.” Mallory takes off her jacket and drapes it across the end of the chaise. “You really want to know why I think Griffin’s the one?”
I gesture for her to continue.
“All right, let me start by saying I don’t think it’s a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. There’s not some magic formula that adds up to let you know you found the one.”
I hold in a sigh. A concrete formula sure would make it a lot easier to understand.
“But for me, I knew he was the one when I pictured myself old and wrinkled and sitting on the back porch, looking out at a yard of my kids and grandkids running around and laughing while I sip on a Dr Pepper. I can’t imagine anyone else but Griffin at my side.
” Mallory smiles softly. “For some people, it happens right when they see the other person—love at first sight. For others, it’s more of a slow burn that grows over time.
And, to speak in your woodworking terms, sometimes love slaps you like a two-by-four to the head you never saw coming. ”
Before I can fully soak in her words, Shayna sits beside Mallory, pulling her in for a side hug. “I missed you so much.”
“I was only gone for a week.” Mallory’s entire demeanor softens.
Shayna seems to have that effect on most people.
“But I missed y’all, too.” My sister blows out a shaky breath, offering a rare display of emotion.
“Why does the love of my life have to live all the way across the country from everyone else I love?”
“It won’t be forever. That boy loves you too much to be gone for long.
” I’m pretty sure I see tears glimmering in Shayna’s eyes.
I wonder what it would feel like to love and care for others so strongly that it brought tears to my eyes seeing them hurting.
She looks up and makes eye contact with me.
It feels like her gaze sees right through me, like I’m transparent and she can read my every thought.
Shayna offers me a smile. “Sorry, did I interrupt y’all? ”
I shake my head. “Not at all.” I push off the couch and stand. “I’m going to head out. I have an early morning at the station tomorrow.”
Shayna gets up and wraps her arms around me. “Thanks for coming, and for my shirt.”
I gingerly pat her back, not ready to encounter the effects of a full-on Shayna hug again.
I’ve had enough feelings and talk about emotions for the day.
I pull away and fold my arms in front of my chest. I ignore the fact that Shayna’s eyes immediately drag along my forearms and up my biceps.
“If I have downtime at the station tomorrow, I’m going to work on the design for your shelves. I’ll text you if I have any questions.”
She blinks rapidly and nods. “Sure, sounds good. Thanks, Connor.”
I raise my hand in a small two-finger wave and make my way through the crowd of people until I find Alyssa.
The thought of showing up to their joint birthday party with only a gift for Shayna felt weird, so I got Alyssa a Sephora gift card thanks to a random Reddit thread for female gift ideas.
Once I give it to her, I head outside and take quick steps toward Sulley.
I inhale deeply and slowly let out a breath through my nose as I put my key in the ignition.
After starting the truck, I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white.
I don’t know when I started thinking of my truck as Sulley, the name Shayna gave it, but I guess it’s just that Shayna effect again.
Now that we’ve picked the materials I need from the hardware store, I should have a little bit of time to myself to work on the shelves for her flower truck. Time where I don’t have to see her. Be in her orbit.
I don’t know what exactly it is about Shayna that has made me feel some type of way lately, but I think some time apart will be good.
“Porter, I need to speak to you.” Captain Dalton disappears into his office.
“It was nice knowing ya.” Gordon winks at me.
I grimace and attempt to shake off whatever that was as I head to Cap’s office. I can’t think of a reason he’d have to fire me less than a month into me being here. But what if he’s decided that I’m not a good fit for the crew? Or maybe he thinks I’m too quiet or standoffish to work with.
I take a deep breath as I reach his office.
I think of Shayna telling me to be more confident, so I push down the doubt filling my mind and stand taller as I knock on the glass door.
Captain waves his fingers, motioning me into the room without looking up.
The lack of eye contact doesn’t bode well for me.
I take cautious steps into the room and stand before his desk.
“I’m aware you haven’t even been here for a month.”
That start doesn’t sound promising. I drop my gaze to my boots, clasp my hands behind my back, and steel myself as I wait to hear the fate of my job.
“But I have a favor to ask of you.”
I lift my head to look at him. Captain’s hands are steepled atop a pile of paperwork. I’ve never been good at reading other people, but the expression he’s wearing is obviously tentative.
“I’ve heard around the station that you’re single. Is that correct?”
My brow furrows. I don’t know what being single has to do with my job, but since it’s Captain asking, I nod. “Yes, sir.”
“Have you heard of the LFD’s annual community fundraising event?”
“Can’t say I’m aware of the specifics, sir.”
“The firefighter’s calendar brings in the most money for the LFD every year.”
I swallow hard, silently pleading for him to not ask me to pose shirtless for a calendar.
“But our big event is the firefighter auction.”
“I’ve heard the crew mention that.”
“Good. Well, firefighters from a variety of stations are selected to be bid on. The highest bidder wins a date with that firefighter”—he spreads his arms wide like he’s telling me I won the lottery—“and you’ve been selected as a last-minute addition to represent Station 13.”
My cheeks puff up, and I blow out a long breath. “Why would the LFD choose me? I just started.”
“When a firefighter saves a local woman during his first week on the job, it’s bound to catch the attention of the higher-ups.”
I press my lips into a hard line. “I’m guessing I don’t have a choice in this, sir?”
Captain offers me a reassuring smile. “Just remember, it’s for the kids. Think of how many extra Christmas gifts they’ll be able to provide for the community later this year because of your generosity.”
It’s not like I could exactly tell my captain no, but when he brings up the kids, it’s impossible to turn him down.
Even though the last thing I want is to be a date auctioned off to the highest bidder.
A shiver wracks my body at the thought of some of the women who come to events like this with the sole purpose of sinking their claws into a firefighter.
“Isn’t it soon?” I don’t know if I want it to be soon to get it over with or far in the distant future so I can avoid thinking about it for a while.
“This Saturday morning. The dates will take place directly after the event.” Captain Dalton rounds his desk and claps me on the shoulder. “Thanks for being a good sport about this. Good luck, Porter.”
I’m definitely going to need it.