33. Aj #2
Thunder rattles somewhere outside the cabin, but all I can hear is my own heartbeat.
Wolff doesn’t move.
Doesn’t even breathe for a second.
I press his hand there anyway, my fingers trembling slightly around his wrist.
“I hate that I’m scared of being touched around my neck. I used to like this.” The confession makes my chest ache. Because now every touch near my neck reminds me of pain. But his hand—even motionless against my throat—feels different.
Safer.
And I hate how strongly I need that from him too.
My hand rests where she placed it, her skin warm beneath my palm, her pulse fluttering softly against my thumb. Chest too tight, the back of my neck sweats for no fucking reason.
Every instinct in me screams to pull away at what she said.
My thumb drags slowly along the base of her throat, feeling the delicate shift of muscle.
Jesus Christ.
She presses back into me harder, offering me more of her neck. More trust. More vulnerability than she should ever hand to someone like me. I stare at my hand wrapped around her throat, and all I can think about is blood.
Broken cartilage.
Bodies going limp beneath my grip.
The kinds of things these hands were made for.
My fingers flex lightly, just enough to feel her swallow. “You trust me to do this?”
“I don’t want to be scared of it anymore. I want you to help me erase it.”
Something ugly twists low in my stomach. She’s asking the wrong person. The absolute fucking worst person. My grip tightens slightly, testing her reaction. Her breath catches, and the sound shoots straight to my cock.
Fuck.
I hate this.
Hate the way her small body fits beneath mine.
Hate the heat of her pressed against me.
Hate the fact that my first instinct isn’t to hurt her, but to pull her closer until there’s no air left between us.
My thumb presses gently against the center of her throat, and suddenly the memory of the safehouse slams back to the forefront. Rage flashes through me so fast, my hand nearly jerks away, but she shifts beneath me, pressing her ass back against my dick.
It only makes things worse.
I drag my hand upward, fingers spreading along her jaw, forcing her head back enough that I can see her face. Her lips part immediately, eyes hazy in a way that makes something inside me feel dangerously unstable.
“You lied to me, AJ.”
Confusion flickers across her face. “What—”
“You refused to use the safeword.” I slide my thumb into her mouth, pressing it flat against her tongue.
“I don’t have soft places for you. I don’t do gentle.
” I lean closer until my mouth brushes her ear.
“I’ll hurt you. And it won’t mean anything.
That safeword is the only thing stopping me from becoming exactly what you’re afraid of. ”
She shakes her head as much as she can with my hand gripping her.
“I know what you are, Wolff,” she whispers as I slide my thumb out of her mouth.
“Do you?”
She has no fucking idea what lives under my skin. What goes through my head when I touch her—how fast control slips, how violent my instincts become.
“You built some version of me in your head that doesn’t fucking exist. Some tragic bastard with something human still left inside me.
” My mouth drags slowly along her throat.
“There isn’t.” My grip flexes harder against her jaw.
“Whatever was human in me died a long fucking time ago.” I press a kiss just under her ear.
“And you’ll get yourself killed believing otherwise. ”
My mouth presses harder against her skin, tasting her pulse while my hands trail down her body, gripping her waist. Dragging her back against me, my fingers dig in deep, until she can feel exactly how hard I am.
“And if you ever fucking lie to me again, I’ll make sure you never forget the consequences.”
My hand slides from her jaw to the front of her throat again, thumb pressing just hard enough to feel her tense.
“Do you understand?”
Her breath comes out shaky as she slowly nods.
“Use your fucking words.”
“Yes.”
“Good girl.”
The sight of her beneath me, wearing my shirt, does something dangerous to me at a primal level.
The fabric is too big on her small frame, the hem riding up her thighs.
It shouldn’t affect me. I’ve never cared about shit like that before.
But seeing her in my clothes—hickeys on her neck, smelling like me—makes my chest tight and my cock ache worse than it has in years.
I drag my fingers down her body, slipping between her thighs. She’s soaked. My fingers slide through her slick folds, teasing her entrance.
“Now you’re going to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. How you want me to use your tight little holes.”
“I… I want…”
“Say it.” My mouth brushes her ear. “Say what you want me to do to you, solnyshko.” I slide one finger inside her, and she arches slightly off the bed.
“Wolff…”
“This?” I press another finger in, stretching her.
“Fuck, yes,” she moans.
I add a third, pumping hard, my palm grinding against her clit. She’s so fucking wet that it coats my hand, coating her thighs.
“Wolff…I want you to fuck me… Everything you said you’d do to me… I want… I want your fist inside me.”
The words hit me like a drug, and I have to suppress a shiver.
I’ve never asked anyone what they want. Never given a shit.
But hearing her beg for the one thing I’ve been obsessing over—stretching her, owning her completely, ruining every tight hole until there’s no part of her I haven’t claimed—pulls something dark out of me I’ve never experienced.
“You want my fist? You want me to stretch you open until you can’t take anymore?”
“Please…”
My thumb presses against her clit, rubbing hard as I fuck her with my fingers, and then I start to ease in a fourth, slowly, stretching her open. She gasps, her body tightening around me, fighting it. Moaning my name over and over, she grips the sheets.
“Fuck, Wolff, yes—”
My fingers are buried to the knuckles inside her now, twisting, thrusting, her pussy gripping me so fucking tight I can barely think.
“You’re taking it so well, solnyshko.”
“Oh fuck… I want… I need to kiss you,” she blurts out.
I freeze.
“I don’t kiss.” I pull my hand out of her pussy, fingers glistening.
“But you have kissed me.” She slowly twists until she’s facing me. Her chest heaves, my shirt bunched up around her waist, legs still spread wide. “And that’s what I want. You to kiss me while you…do this to me.”
I stare down at her, my mind going blank.
Fingers trembling, she reaches up, brushing them against my jaw. Her lips part, breath hot against my face.
Fuck it.
I lean down and crush my mouth to hers, swallowing her surprised gasp.
My tongue forces its way in, and I kiss her harder as she moans into my mouth, hands fisting my shirt, pulling me closer like she’s afraid I’ll stop.
I grab her thighs, spreading her legs wider, and shove my fingers back inside her.
She cries out, her hips grinding against my hand as I kiss her, sucking on her tongue while fucking her cunt with three fingers again, then four. The sounds she makes are fucking perfect. My cock is desperate to be inside her.
I break away just long enough to look down, watching my fingers disappear, her pussy stretched and puffy around them. I tuck my thumb in and push until my whole hand sinks into her.
“Fuck!” she screams.
“Grab your knees, AJ. Hold yourself open for me.”
She immediately obeys, pulling her knees up, giving me a perfect view. I slow my movements, every inch of my fingers soaked as she takes them all like the good girl she is.
“Please, Wolff…” she whimpers, trembling, and my lips claim hers again.