49. Laney
It’s been a month since Smith and his men were arrested.
We’ve all given our statements, and were warned we’ll most likely be called upon to testify in court.
It’s not something any of us want to do, but it’s the agreement we came to in order to have the charges against us for obstruction of justice dropped.
It’s not been an easy time, but knowing Smith is behind bars gives me some comfort.
I’m still fearful he’ll send someone else after us, but so far, everything’s been quiet.
I’m back in therapy again, speaking to Sharon Tharp, only now I’m telling her the whole truth—every sordid detail.
I’m sure she’s horrified at parts of it, but I don’t hold back.
Speaking about it all does make me feel better.
Once the trial is over, we’ll get out of the city. I don’t know where we’ll go yet, but we all want a fresh start.
I’ve made myself a fresh coffee and carry that and my laptop into the living room with the intention of writing some more.
It’s been surprisingly addictive, watching the words add up into paragraphs, and the paragraphs into chapters.
How I’ve created something from nothing.
I’m determined to finish the story one day, though I’m not yet sure how it ends.
I walk into the room and pull up short.
Cade is sitting in one of the armchairs, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He doesn’t even glance up. Right away, it’s clear something is wrong. An atmosphere radiates from him, but it’s not his usual anger.
This is something else.
“Cade?” I say with hesitation. “What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”
Still, he doesn’t respond, and my heart lurches. I put down the items I’d been carrying, take the seat next to him, and reach out to touch his shoulder.
The contact appears to have an effect. He falls to his knees from the chair, so he’s on the floor at my feet, and then buries his face in my lap.
I’ve never seen him like this, and my adrenaline spikes in alarm.
His shoulders shake, and he clings to the skirts of my dress, his fingers knotted in the fabric.
I try again. “Are you hurt?”
He still doesn’t reply. All I can do is try to comfort him, to stroke my fingers through his soft hair, to lower my face to the back of his head.
Does this have something to do with me? Has he done something?
Hurt someone? Seeing this big, strong man literally on his knees in front of me fills me with a combination of awe and fear.
But with it also comes love. I can’t stand to see him hurting.
I’ll do anything I can to take away whatever is behind this.
“You’re frightening me, Cade,” I tell him.
“I’m frightened, too,” he finally admits. His voice doesn’t sound like his own. It’s strangled with emotion.
“You are? Of what?”
“My head hurts. It’s been hurting ever since the cabin. That’s not all. I’ve got ringing in my ears, too. The doctor said I could have lasting brain damage. What if these are signs that I have it?”
“But you were checked over. You had the scans, and they couldn’t see anything wrong.”
He tightens his fists. “Something is wrong. I know it. Why else would I be in pain?”
I want to look for an answer that doesn’t include permanent brain damage. “It could be stress. Maybe they’re tension headaches. You’ve been through a lot lately.”
We all have…
I place my fingers beneath his chin and tilt his face up so our eyes meet. I hold his gaze steady. “And if it is something more serious, then we’ve got money to get you the best doctors and the best treatment, okay? And you’ve got us.”
“They say with this illness you can change. Your whole personality can change. I might get violent and irrational.”
I risk a smile. “How would we know the difference?”
His lips tweak, but the expression doesn’t meet his eyes. “They say a person can stop loving what they loved most in the world. What if that happens to me, Laney? What if I stop loving you? I can’t ever do that. I won’t.”
I squeeze his hand. “No, you’re right, you won’t.” My tone is fierce. “I won’t let you. And if something happens, then I’ll love you hard enough for both of us, okay?”
“I’d never want to be a burden on you.”
“You’re not, and you won’t be. How many times do I have to tell you that? I love you, Cade. You’ll do anything to protect me, right? Well, I’ll do the same for you, and so will your brother and dad. We all love you.”
I put my arms around his neck, and he pulls me off the seat so I end up in his lap. We wrap our arms around each other and hold on so tight, it’s as though we’re trying to crush our bodies into one being.
I part from him and stroke his face and place kisses to his mouth. “And in the meantime, we go to the doctor’s and tell them about your symptoms. No hiding from it or pretending it’s not happening. That’s not going to help anyone.”
He exhales a breath, and, for a moment, I think he’s going to give me an argument, but then he nods.
“Okay. Thank you, Laney. I’m glad I told you. The fear has been eating me up inside. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You never have to know, because I’ll always be here for you. I swear it. In sickness and in health.”
I kiss him again, and our kiss grows deeper.
He rolls me onto my back, pushes up my dress, and makes love to me fiercely on the floor.