Chapter 8 Lyssa
Lyssa
The world tilts, my vision narrowing, reddening.
Air isn’t entering my lungs.
The gods did it. They fucking did it.
For a second I truly think I’m going to be sick.
The cheering is deafening, but all I can hear is the blood pounding in my ears. I’m on my feet with everyone else, but I don’t what to do, how to react, what to feel—I’m numb.
How can they cheer a man capable of what this monster has done?
Hercules steps out into view, waving.
Somehow, he’s still familiar. He’s more muscular now, and his dark hair and beard are longer, in an effort to imitate or impress his own father, perhaps.
Dark spots appear in the corners of my eyes, and I can see nothing but his face.
“Your second hero, son of Poseidon, captain of the Virtus, the witty Theseus!”
The boom of the commentator’s voice is distant.
I try to take deep breaths, my sweaty hands clenched hard as Theseus strides out into view, waving cheerfully to the screaming audience.
“Your third hero, son of Poseidon, captain of the Orion, the colossal Antaeus!” rings the voice.
A shirtless giant steps through the curtain. The applause is again deafening.
How… how can they do this?
“I agree that it is a bad choice indeed.”
The voice that answers my thoughts makes me jump so hard I whirl around, Epizon catching my arms.
“Athena?” I’m hyperventilating, and sit down hard on the bench, dropping my head between my knees.
I haven’t felt like this since I was a child. Since that night. Epizon moves, yanking Lucas to stand the other side of me, ensuring their bodies conceal me from the crowd. Len is by my side, but I can’t hear what he’s saying.
“Hercules is a cruel man.” Athena’s voice speaks again in my mind. “I regret that the gods did not punish him for what he did to your family.”
“Why? Why is this happening?” It’s all I can choke out. I’m regressing, years of strength, of fortitude, of carefully constructed armor, crumbling around me. I’m a child again, screaming, covered in blood.
“You are my choice of hero for the Trials.”
I gasp for breath. She can’t have just said that. “No,” I say.
“I believe you are the only person who can stop him from winning. Zeus blocked me from putting you straight in, but I have secured assistance in ensuring that if you put your name in the lottery, you will be selected.”
“No. No, I can’t. I won’t.” It’s the child answering, cowering in fear, unable to fight, only able to run.
“Yes, you can. If you don’t, he will win. And he will have eternity to become any kind of monster he likes.”
I can’t make words anymore. I’m supposed to be free of him. I left it all behind me.
I ran.
Athena’s voice answers my thought. “And then you found the fastest ship you could, and you kept running. You have been ever since.”
My world spins around me, my shallow breaths impossible to cling to as the truth of her words smashes through my mental armor, completely obliterating it.
I’m not free of him. I never have been.
If I were truly free, I wouldn’t have been tricked into stealing for a vampire.
I wouldn’t be making desperate decisions to keep my crew fed on a more and more regular basis.
I would laugh more. I might actually feel happy, once in a while. Hopeful, even.
The sour mass in the pit of my stomach, always there, always bitter and angry and unfulfilled, won’t force me to keep moving, to avoid any news of what that monster will get away with today.
“You father has never been punished for his crimes, and that is a truth you will never be able to outrun. You will never be truly free until he is.”
She’s right. The spinning stops, the clarity of her words drowning out everything else.
I will never truly be free until he pays for what he did.
But how? How can I face him? He’s the strongest man in the fucking world.
Immortality. The word rings through my mind.
Fuck, how can I not face him? He can’t live forever. He simply can’t.
My Rage jolts to life. I straighten with a hiss, my lungs clearing, my breathing easier.
“I will do what I can to help you, Lyssa, but you must put your name in. You must do that of your own free will.”
Anger is flooding me now, chasing out the toxic fear. I cling to it, welcome it, will it to flow through me, to strengthen me.
Epizon, Len, and Lucas come into focus, all speaking, and as Athena’s presence fades, their words become clear. I hold up my hands to stop them.
“Athena wants me to enter. She’ll ensure I win the lottery,” I say breathily, my lungs still catching up on missing air.
Epizon’s face is tight, Len’s pales, and Lucas’s mouth falls open.
“Are you going to do it?” he whispers.
“My father murdered my mother and brother, and instead of being punished, he became famous.” I fix my eyes on Lucas, drawing deep breaths. “He claimed Hera made him do it out of jealousy, and the monsters that rule this world chose to believe him. Chose to excuse him.”
Roiling heat burns through me, and I embrace it. Red tinges my vision. The fear is at bay, the fury too much for it to battle.
“Every year, he gets more power, more fame, more wealth. The more publicly cruel he is, the more he gains. He is utterly remorseless.” My voice becomes a hiss. “Bored gods have turned my father into the most dangerous fucking man Olympus knows. Can you imagine if he becomes immortal?”
Lucas stares at me and gives his head the smallest shake.
“She’s going to compete and she’s going to win,” says Epizon quietly.
A snaking tendril of fear breaks through the churning barrier of anger. It’s not just fear of my father. It’s fear of failing. Of getting my crew hurt. And, buried as deep inside myself as it can be, a fear of fueling my own monster.
“You’re not alone this time, Lyssa.”
I look at Epizon as his words sound in my head.
“You’ll… you’ll stay with me? Risk your life in the Trials?”
“Of course I will. And not to try to win immortality, but because we have an obligation to stop him. Athena chose you for a reason.”
I repeat his words in my head.
We have an obligation to stop him.
It’s time to stop running.
I’m no longer the girl who could do nothing but watch as Hercules killed her mother and brother.
I’m no longer the girl who ran, taking as many silver drachmas as she could carry.
That girl is gone.
I’m a woman now, with a ship, and friends, and power. A woman who will stand and fight.
And it’s up to me to slay the monster.