Chapter 20
Hedone
Iroll onto my back, letting out a long breath. The plush silk sheets tangle around my legs as I turn. They’re damp with the sweat of the couple who have just left my chambers.
I stare at the wood paneling on the ceiling as the emptiness claws its way through me, just as I knew it would. It starts in the center on my stomach and spirals out, turning and twisting like the sheets, until it has reached every part of my body.
An hour ago, it was pleasure pouring through me, filling me, flowing from my body into my companions. Their moans of ecstasy, their cries of passion… They get to keep those.
I have them replaced with this insufferable emptiness.
It’s the paradox of my magic, of being the demigoddess of pleasure.
Every night I spend in the company of another deepens the isolation afterward, but my power compels me to share myself and to be with others. I can’t deny it.
I sigh again and sit up in the huge bed, tracing a finger along the seam of a silk pillow.
Theseus was so proud when he unveiled the ship, excitement buzzing through him as he showed me and my fellow crew members the huge, shimmering sails and big, spindly navigation wheel.
His eyes shone as he presented me with the luxurious living quarters I now lounge in.
White silk drapes over rich mahogany everywhere I look, soft cushions in jewel tones scattered across fine upholstery.
Crystal bottles of perfume and oils line the vanity, their contents casting rainbow prisms across the walls.
A silver basin filled with rose-scented water sits beside the bed, petals floating on its surface.
And while it is all beautiful, fit for a demigoddess of pleasure, and a testament to Theseus’s wealth, something is missing.
Him.
I watched him at the party tonight, my desperation growing to a point I was almost unable to tolerate.
I used to love parties. And this ship, the Virtus, is made for parties.
Tonight the deck looked resplendent, tables filled with roasted meats garnished with herbs from distant realms, exotic fruits arranged in spiraling patterns, and pastries dusted with gold.
Crystal decanters held wines that shimmered with unnatural colors, and revelers looked divine in their flowing togas and glorious disregard for propriety.
All I was interested in, though, was him. Theseus.
I tried dancing with the others, but it felt pointless. Men and women alike approached me throughout the evening, drawn to my magic like moths to flame, but increasingly, their adoration sates me less, and I find it harder and harder to smile politely, to move through the practiced motions.
I stand and cross to the polished mirror mounted on the wall, studying my reflection with detached curiosity.
Perfection stares back at me. Flawless skin with the faintest luminous glow, eyes deep and mysterious, lips full and naturally tinted.
My hair falls in dark waves around shoulders that poets have compared to marble.
I am beautiful, desirable, coveted. But I am not loved. Not truly.
More than anything in the world, I want to love somebody, and actually feel their love in return. Not the shallow admiration of my beauty, or the temporary obsession of lust, but something enduring and profound that will fill the void inside me.
Everyone else on this ship is competing to become immortal. In fact, I doubt there is anyone in Olympus who doesn’t want eternal life. Eternal youth, eternal beauty, eternal power—these are the dreams that drive heroes to extraordinary feats.
But it is almost too much for me to consider. I run a finger down the side of my cheek, feeling the soft skin of my face.
What would I do with a never-ending life if I had nobody to share it with?
The thought of being lonely forever fills me with dread. It crawls up my spine like ice, and for the hundredth time, I regret joining Theseus on this ship.
I can’t stand it. Unrequited love, for an eternity?
But I couldn’t say no to him, couldn’t turn down the chance to be beside him.
I return to the bed, kneeling on the sheets and closing my eyes. I begin to speak aloud.
“Aphrodite, hear my prayer. Please, end my loneliness.”
I imagine a perfect life, far from the emptiness of my current existence. I picture a beautiful home on Pisces, a villa of white stone, my children running up the beach toward me with shells clutched in their tiny hands.
I wring my hands together as I imagine the big, strong arms of Theseus, scooping all of us up in an embrace that feels like coming home. I hear him telling us he loves us and will always be there for us.
I hear the laughter in my head as they play together, not a worry in the world.
My eyes fill with tears and I press my hand to my heart.
“Please, Aphrodite,” I whisper. “Send me love.”
There’s a flash of white light, and suddenly, I’m no longer kneeling on my bed.
I’m kneeling on a white marble floor, in a temple I know well.
My heart hammers under my palm as I look up at the mighty white throne before me, and the goddess seated in it.
Today her skin glows pale under masses of rich, dark hair. Her eyes are almost black, her lips a deep red. She makes my own dark hair and eyes look dull and boring.
“Aphrodite,” I breathe. “You heard me?”
“Of course I did, child.” The goddess of love smiles down at me. “I don’t understand why you need my help, though. You are the demigoddess of pleasure. What in Olympus do you want from me that you can not achieve yourself?” She drops a golden apple into a bowl beside her.
“Theseus doesn’t want me. I’ve tried everything I know to try, but he is not tempted by my flesh or my seductions. I do not have the power to make mortals fall in love. But you do.” I look up hopefully.
“Indeed I do,” she purrs, then picks up the apple and tosses it between her beautifully manicured hands.
Will she really help make Theseus fall in love with me? Could my dreams actually be coming true? Hope burns like fire through my body.
“Hedone, do you know how many times we’ve tried to create the perfect Olympus?”
I shake my head.
“No? Nor do I. I’ve lost count now.” She takes a bite from the apple, her full lips mesmerizing.
She chews slowly, her gaze unfocused for a moment.
“The last one was the most interesting. We let them do whatever they liked. Full freedom. They began to create new things with Zeus’s electricity and Hephaestus’s metals.
” Her eyes are fierce compared to her soft voice.
I swallow, trying not to let my nerves show.
“They even created devices that allowed them to leave Olympus. Can you imagine? Obviously, we couldn’t let that continue.
Athena begged us not to destroy them all and start again, but Zeus’s word is final. ” She shrugs her delicate shoulders.
Worry begins working its way through my hope. Why is Aphrodite telling me this? I’ve heard these rumors, but I can’t see what they have to do with Theseus.
“The trouble is, every time you mortals do something interesting, it usually signals your end.” She takes another bite from the apple.
“I don’t understand,” I mumble.
“I am bored, Hedone. So very, very bored. We have all these restrictions now in Olympus—we control everything. It’s boring.
But now we have the Trials.” She leans forward in her throne, a smile tugging at her sensuous mouth.
“I like moral Theseus well enough, and he has been an asset to my realm over the years. But if we are to make new immortals, I would much rather share eternity with somebody more”—she waves her empty hand in the air as she looks for the right word—“interesting. And you’ve given me a magnificent idea that will make this whole competition more interesting.
” Her eyes flash as she smiles fully. “I think I will grant your request for love.”
I take a sharp breath, my concern and confusion dropping away in an instant. “You will?”
“Oh yes. But not with Theseus.”
My smile vanishes, my blood suddenly like ice in my veins.
“No,” I whisper, fear engulfing me. “Please, no.”
Aphrodite’s smile takes a cruel twist. “Don’t be sad, darling. You won’t be pining over him anymore, and that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? In fact, you won’t even remember you ever loved him.”
Tears flood my eyes at the horror of Aphrodite’s words.
The goddess’s own eyes sparkle. “Let’s spice things up a little, shall we?”