Chapter 52
Hedone
My pulse races as I stand outside my captain’s chambers, sure that the goddess of love must know I’m hiding and listening.
I was walking down the wide corridor that leads to my own quarters when I saw the blinding white flash that signals the arrival of a god around the edges of Theseus’s door.
Impulse made me stop. The gods aren’t supposed to get involved in the Trials, but I wasn’t the least bit surprised to hear Aphrodite’s voice through the wood when I crept to the door.
“It is hard for me to visit, or to help you, good Theseus,” she’s saying. “Zeus is particularly vigilant just now.” There’s the sound of liquid pouring. “Thank you,” the goddess sings. Her voice makes my skin tingle.
“But Zeus gave Hercules Keravnos, just as you said he would,” Theseus says.
“He is the lord of the gods. He has a certain amount of… flexibility that we don’t all share the luxury of.
But I have recently made a discovery that should keep him busy for a while.
” I can hear the smile in the goddess’s words.
“There’s nothing like one of his brothers misbehaving to distract our good lord, and Hades has been a very naughty boy indeed. ”
“Do you know when we will visit Hades’s realm? I have always wanted to see Virgo,” asks Theseus.
The goddess laughs a tinkling laugh, and I find myself smiling involuntarily.
“It was an almighty row, getting Hades to allow any Trial to occur in his beloved realm after he has spent so long trying to keep everyone out. No, we choose the Trials at random just before they are announced, so as to avoid any cheating.”
“What has he done that will upset Zeus?”
“Ah, Theseus, I can’t tell you that. Knowledge is power, and you must earn it.”
I hear movement, then a long sigh from Aphrodite that sends pleasant shivers through my own body.
“There’s more to Olympus than meets the mortal eye,” she breathes. “No map will show you what a god can.”
I wait, still and silent by the door another five minutes, but I hear no more talking, just soft moans and long breaths. I carry on down the corridor to my own rooms, my mind whirring. Hercules should know that his father will soon be distracted.
I pause with my hand on the door of my quarters. I have to help him, but how?
Psyche made it clear on Libra that she had noticed just how unhelpful I was being when she yelled at me.
“Immortality, Hedone! We’ll never have a second chance at this, and you are not helping!
Stay on the ship next time,” she said, before running after Theseus.
As long as Psyche doesn’t suspect my real reason for being so unhelpful I’ll be fine, but what if they really do start leaving me on the ship every time? How can I help Hercules then?
Psyche thinks I’m weak. And why wouldn’t she? I’m the demigoddess of pleasure. Not a skill associated with strength. Only Theseus knows what I’m really capable of, of who I had nearly become when they released me from the temple I was raised in.
The goddess’s words ring in my mind. Knowledge is power.
The men and women I meet fall over themselves to tell me anything I want to know.
It was Theseus who patiently showed me the value of a moral way of life, taught me that tempering my desire to control them would be worth it, knowing how much better true love would feel than false manipulations.
Am I weak, as Psyche thinks? Or am I stronger than all of them, for being able to control myself all this time? For the first time in years, a desire to prove myself creeps over me.
Theseus’s dark, smiling eyes swim before me, blurring abruptly into Hercules’s sharp gray ones. I’ve found the man I’m meant to love. And now, maybe, I need to unlearn some of Theseus’s teachings.
If I want to help Hercules, I need to use my true strengths. I need to be what he needs. And I know just where to start.
I knock lightly on Psyche’s door.
“Come in,” she calls. I push the door open. Psyche’s rooms look nothing like my own.
Where my rooms are draped in soft, light silks and the furniture is all deep, rich mahoganies, Psyche’s rooms are bold and bright.
Throw rugs are hung on the wooden walls, patterns made of a hundred colors springing to life in the fabric.
Her furniture is rough wood, bookshelves and tables looking like she may have made them herself.
Weapons from all over Olympus adorn the rustic surfaces, spears made of wood and bows made of bone.
Psyche is sitting on a bright purple armchair, braiding her thick black hair. She looks surprised to see me.
“Can I help you?” Her tone isn’t cold, but there’s no warmth either.
I swallow. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. On Libra.” Psyche raises her eyebrows, fingers still working on the tight braids. “You’re right. I want to be more useful to the crew.”
“Okay,” she says slowly.
I take a slow breath in, lifting my chest, wetting my lips. I pour my power into my voice. “Teach me to fight,” I say.
Psyche’s hands drop from her hair and she stares at me. “Really?”
“Yes. I need to be able to defend myself, to stop getting in your way.”
She stands, appraising me. “It’s a bit late to be asking now.”
“Not at all,” I say. “We’re leagues and leagues from Sagittarius. Theseus said it would take all night to get there.”
“And you want to train all night?” says Psyche, picking up a spear as she walks slowly toward me.
“No, but we could make a start. It’s just…” I look down, channeling innocence. “It’s just, you were so impressive with those arrows, against the Hydra. I wish I could help Theseus like that.” I look up again, hunting for signs that the flattery is working.
“I seem to remember you shouting Hercules’s name,” says Psyche, coming to a stop in front of me and setting the spear butt on the floor.
“I… I hate to see anyone hurt. I can’t help it.”
“Then you are ill-suited to fighting.”
“I can learn. The more I see it, the more I’ll cope,” I protest.
Psyche holds my gaze, saying nothing. There’s no sign that she finds me compelling. Maybe my powers of persuasion have waned, I haven’t used them for so long?
She steps toward me, tilting her chin down so her hair falls forward, brushing her cheek. “How much has Theseus told you about me?”
I frown. “Not a lot, only that he trusts you with his life.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Hedone. About my family. My husband.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You’re married?” Jealousy surges through me.
Psyche nods. “I am. Your powers won’t work on me.”
I start. “What… I’m not… Why would I—”
Psyche cuts off my spluttering. “If you truly want to learn to fight, then I will teach you. You do not need to seduce me into agreeing.” My face heats and I say nothing. “Do you want to learn?”
I nod.
Psyche tips the spear toward me. “Top deck, now,” she says.