Chapter 7 #2
“Nick, things are bad enough with my family. I don’t know what’s going to happen when they find out I’m pregnant—and then add living with you to it? I’m afraid to think about it.”
“We’re not going to talk about them, this is about us. What’s right for me, you, and our baby is what matters. I don’t care what they think.”
“I know you don’t. And maybe I shouldn’t care either, but I do. I can’t help it. They’re still my family.”
I point to her stomach. “And now we’re going to have a family.
That’s what created this baby, our love for each other.
Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves and our child to try to be together as its parents, since we do love each other?
I know I want to try to give my child everything I didn’t have in my family, which would be two stable loving parents who are committed to each other.
You had that, and you were willing to give up on us to keep it.
Nothing is guaranteed, but at least we can try, especially when we have all the ingredients for success.
” Her eyes are fixed on me intently as she goes over my words.
Isn’t this ironic? Kate said almost the same thing to me after the lab called to confirm I was the father of the baby. Sometimes things come back around and you’re on the other side of what someone else was feeling, and it’s hard to face that truth.
“What do you say, can we try?” I can see her uncertainty and fear and longing; it’s written all over her face.
I don’t want her to make a hasty decision, and definitely not the wrong decision.
I’m going to relieve some of her tension and give her time.
I made some valid points with what I had to say.
“Sleep on it and let me know when you’re ready.”
She pushes her hair behind her ears and puts her forehead against my chest. “Okay.”
We’re silent for a while before she says, “Not that it should matter, and I know you didn’t ask, but I’m telling you anyway. About Matt.” I hold my breath, not moving a muscle, waiting for her to say whatever it is she’s about to say. “I didn’t sleep with him. We didn’t have sex.”
Sheer relief washes over me. I wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but with that bastard, you never know.
I put my arms around her back and pull her closer. I close my eyes and think about the truly amazing future we could have together.
Lying next to me on her back, sleeping soundly, I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest. She moves her hand and the sheet slides down under her breasts.
I gently place my hand over her stomach.
I like doing this. I wasn’t able to do this when Kate was pregnant, and in the beginning, I didn’t want to.
The further along she was in her pregnancy, the more I wanted to, though I knew I couldn’t because it would give her mixed signals.
I’m getting a second chance after screwing things up the first time.
I feel Cat stir, then moan, and watch her slap her arm over her face to block out the light in the room. I smile at the tempting picture she makes next to me.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m nauseated. Same old, same old.”
“You need me to get you anything?”
“I would feel better if you stopped poking me in the side with your hard-on.”
“Sorry about that. Nothing I can do with you lying naked on your back beside me.”
“Control yourself, please.”
“You’re in control of it now. All you have to do is put your clothes on or take them off.” I fist the sheet in my hand and pull it down lower, to her navel. “I wish you would stop throwing yourself at me, Cat.”
“You wish.” She tugs the sheet back up over her breasts, moaning. “This is a cruel joke. I’m nauseated and horny at the same time. If this bed moves, I’m going to toss up everything in my stomach.”
“I’ll go make you some tea and toast and bring it in for you.”
“Thanks, but you don’t need to bring it in. I’m going to the bathroom, if I can peel myself off the bed.”
I kiss the underside of her arm and then her stomach, saying, “Try not to make Mommy so sick.” I turn my head to her, seeing a faint smile. Getting up, I put my pants on and head to the kitchen, a happy man.
Cat
The last time my head saw the inside of a toilet bowl for this long I was drunk.
I had to run out of the shower with soap still on me.
I flush the toilet and drag myself off the floor.
Putting my hands on the sink, I lean against it with my head down.
I wash my mouth to get rid of the taste that’s making me sick again.
I threw up everything I ate. This is the second time I’ve thrown up this morning, and I hope it’s the last. I’m wet from the shower and I’m sweating.
It felt like someone was trying to yank the pit of my stomach out with a Dyson vacuum.
Putting the toothbrush down, I turn around, trying to cover myself with my hands when the door opens.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
I nod my head to let him know I am and he takes the towel, holding it out in front of me. His gaze moves to my hands, which are covering myself from him. One side of his lip turns up and he wraps the towel around me. “It’s a little late for that; I’ve seen all there is to see and I like it all.”
“Habit.”
“That’s a habit we’re going to break, immediately.” He holds the towel together around my back. “Rough morning?”
“Yes.”
“This happens every morning?”
“Sometimes. I’m hoping it’s the last morning it happens.”
“I came in to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine. For now. I’m going to finish taking a shower. Sorry about the floor, I’ll clean it.”
“No, you won’t. I’ll take care of it when you’re finished taking your shower.”
I try to say no, but he won’t hear it. He gives me a stern look.
“Don’t argue with me. You’re not getting down on your hands and knees to clean. There’s only one reason you should be on your hands and knees in front of me, and it has nothing to do with cleaning.”
“Shut up and get out.” I smile to soften my grumpy words. He lets the towel go and steps back. It falls to my feet, my lips purse together, and I give him the “really” look. He gives me a devilish handsome smile and shrugs his shoulders.
“I like the view.”
I shake my head and turn around. He might as well get the full view. I hear his grunt of approval as I step in the shower.
“It keeps getting better every time I see it.”
I smile and hear him close the door when he leaves. He can make me smile even when I feel like crap. I love that. I feel good when I’m with him, even when he gets on my nerves and I’m upset. I think I’ve made up my mind. I hope it’s the right decision for us both.
After we eat breakfast, I give him his answer: I want to try living together. He’s so happy he spins me around in his arms and I scream, almost ready to throw up again. This is the happiest I’ve ever seen him. You would think he won the lottery.
We spend the rest of the day relaxing around the house.
My morning sickness is off and on the whole day.
I almost throw up again, but Nick gets me a glass of seltzer water and I manage to keep down the small amount I did eat.
He’s attentive to my every need. I don’t have to get up for anything all day.
It felt nice knowing he wanted to do these things for me, even though I was perfectly fine to do them myself.
When I took a nap, he worked, and after I woke up he sat with me.
He said he was making up for the days he couldn’t be with me when I came out of the hospital.
He made sure he could work from home this weekend to be with me.
Sunday afternoon, he finishes working and tells me the rest of the day is all mine.
We sit on the couch under a big blanket, light rain hitting the wall-to-wall windows in the living room.
He’s sitting up on one end of the couch with his phone, and I’m on the other end watching a show, my feet on his legs.
He looks up from his phone saying, “Let’s go over to Ava’s and get some of your stuff.
I can have the rest sent over here tomorrow afternoon. ”
I sit up, turning to him. “I can’t do that. I can’t move all my things out of our apartment and have her come back to all my things gone. That’s just wrong. I’m not that kind of friend.”
“You don’t live there anymore; you live here with me. All you have to do is call her and tell her you’re moving in with me. She’ll be happy for us.”
“She’ll want to know why I’m moving out. What am I going to tell her?”
“The truth. You’re pregnant, we’re in love, and you’re moving in with me.”
“I can’t give her news like that over the phone when she’s in another state. I owe her more than that, she gave me a place to stay when I didn’t know where to go.”
“You had a place to stay right here, but you chose not to.”
I tilt my head to the side, squinting my eyes at him.
“You know I couldn’t do that. I need to tell her I’m pregnant face to face.
I don’t know how she’s going to take it.
” I sit back, placing my hand on my stomach.
I’m doing that more and more these days when I talk about the baby.
I guess it’s a thing you involuntarily do when you’re pregnant.
“I think she’s going to be happy for us. ”
“She better be. You’re not telling her or anyone else by yourself. I’ll be with you when you tell everyone, you hear me?”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea when it comes time to tell my family. I don’t need any more bloodshed because of us.”
“I better be there with you, because if they touch one hair on your head—one mark, I don’t care who it is—they’re going to slap a pair of silver bracelets on me by the time I’m finished. You’ll have to bail me out.”
This is not going to be good. From the look in his eyes, I know he means every word he says, and he’s especially serious when it comes to Jay. I better let this one go and figure out a way to tell them without him being there. It looks like if they say the wrong thing he’s going to attack.
He leans forward, his hand on my leg under the cover. “I’m serious, Cat. Don’t go over there without me.”
“I promise I won’t.”
His sits back and starts swiping his fingers across his phone again and I watch, taking in his features.
Amazing eyes that always get to me, and I still can’t determine what shade they truly are, even after all these years.
Full, firm lips that stir all kinds of feelings in me.
Ruggedly handsome and sensual. I love this man.
Always have. He is charming and witty when he wants to be.
He also has an intense side that can be unnerving.
Those eyes that can be so warm and loving when he kisses me can be cold and hard as stone, freezing you in time when he’s angry.
I would like to think things are going to be easy from here on out, butI know they’re not. I hope this love can withstand it all.
The next two weeks, before Ava came back to New York, were interesting.
I’ve never lived with a guy before, and it’s taking some adjustment.
Staying a few days and living as a couple are two different things.
Nick likes to do things a certain way, and we don’t always see eye to eye, but we’ve managed to compromise, although our morning routine needs work.
Him shutting off my alarm and not waking me up is not cool.
Waking up to his hands roaming my body in the morning—that I don’t mind at all.
The best is the occasional morning wakeup call with his mouth between my legs.
It puts a smile on my face every time, and it temporarily erases morning sickness.
Bonus! Who needs an alarm? Best wakeup call ever.
I definitely have to repay the favor before I look down and can’t see my knees.
The kids at school are starting to get curious.
They keep asking me if I’m sick because I’m going to the bathroom a lot, and my bottle of seltzer water never leaves my side.
Kids are intuitive; they notice things adults don’t notice—unless you’re a nosy busybody who needs a man.
I have one of those, unfortunately—another teacher at the school.
She’s watching me like a hawk and keeps dropping snide little remarks about unwed mothers and our society today.
I want to tell her to shut the hell up and mind her own business.
Nick keeps telling me to ignore her and said her legs probably creak open like a rusty steel door that needs premium grade lubrication.
He made me choke on my seltzer water when he said it.
It only reminds me that soon I have to start telling people I’m pregnant.
I wish it could stay like this longer, only me and Nick and our secret, but I’m mentally preparing for the fallout.