Chapter 12
Nick
May
“Babe, relax, sit down.” I put my hand on her waist and pull her on my lap.
“Why are you so calm? My stomach is doing flip-flops. More like jumping beans attacking me.”
“We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to. I’ll call Chris and tell him to come another day. You’re upsetting my child; he’s going to be born with an anxiety problem.”
“We can’t put this off any longer. I’m showing more and more every day. I’m going on five months next week.”
Don’t remind me. Kate was five months pregnant when she miscarried.
It’s the weirdest shit—I’ve been having dreams of Kate going into labor and losing the baby.
There’s blood everywhere in the dream, she’s screaming and crying shouting that it’s my fault, if I didn’t get her pregnant this wouldn’t have happened to her.
I touch her, but when she looks up at me, it’s not Kate anymore, it’s Cat.
I wake up breathing hard and scared as hell.
It’s happened at few times since I called Chris.
I haven’t told Cat, as I don’t want her to worry.
She’s worried enough about telling her family and going to meet my mother next week.
“Calm down, I’m right here with you.” I put my hand on her stomach and kiss her and the baby. “Has he moved yet?”
“I think so. Sometimes I feel a flutter of movement…it’s nothing significant, but I feel it. Why do you keep saying he?”
“I know we decided not to find out the sex of the baby next week, but I know it’s a boy. We’re having a son.”
“How can you possibly know that? You have some kind of psychic powers I don’t know about?”
“A man knows these things. The father-son connection is strong, even from the womb. It’s a guy thing; I believe it has something to do with high testosterone.”
“Bullshit.” She smiles, and I tap her on the lip with my finger.
“Not bullshit. Real talk. Right, son?” I say, pressing my lips near her belly button. “Right.”
“You’re going to be disappointed, we’re having a girl.”
“Says who?”
“The mother-to-be. The person with the baby growing inside her trumps your less than reliable psychic abilities.”
“We’ll see.”
“In four months you’ll see I’m right. Call it mother’s intuition.”
I smile back at her and move my hand around her small baby bump.
She’s almost five months along, but you wouldn’t know she was pregnant unless she’s wearing a fitted shirt like the one she has on now.
She usually wears loose clothing to work to hide her stomach.
She hasn’t told me this, but I figured it out.
The only time she ever wears anything fitted anymore is inside or when Ava’s around.
I think she wants Chris to see she’s pregnant without her actually telling him.
No need to say the words if you can see it with your own eyes.
She puts her hands around my neck, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Don’t worry, the baby’s fine; you’ll feel it move soon.” She creases her brow. “It feels wrong calling my baby it, we’re going to say she from now on.”
“He,” I correct her.
“You can say he and I’ll say she. Well see who’s right in a few months.”
“Yes we will.”
“Seriously though, the doctor said everything was fine at our last prenatal visit. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not.” I’m lying. A month before Kate lost the baby, her doctor told her everything was good, and look what happened a month later.
I wasn’t this worried the last time around.
When you don’t know the things that could go wrong during pregnancy, your ignorance is truly bliss.
Too much Googling and Web MD disturbs that bliss.
I had to back away from the laptop; I felt like the information that was supposed to make me feel better by informing me was attacking me. Talk about information overload.
“Nick.”
“Yeah, babe ?”
“Is there a reason you feel so strongly this baby is going to be a boy?”
I hear the hesitation in her voice. She’s probably thinking it has something to do with Kate and the baby.
“I just have a feeling. It has nothing to do with transferring my feelings from one situation to another. This is our baby. This is a new start for the both of us. I want you to enjoy being pregnant as much as you can with as little stress as possible.”
“I’m trying.”
She runs her fingers through my hair and goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. She wanted to say something else, but she didn’t. I scroll through my phone, checking messages till I hear the doorbell ring.
I walk into the kitchen, and she’s standing by the door, fidgeting with her hands.
“Maybe I should change my shirt? Wear one that doesn’t show so much?”
I hold her hands steady, pulling her to me. “You look great. I’m right here with you.”
She pulls one hand away, and I hold on to the other one, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She takes a deep breath and opens the door.
“Hi, Chris.”
I watch her bite the corner of her lip nervously, waiting for Chris to say something.
He doesn’t say anything for a long time.
In those minutes, several different emotions cross his face.
The most recognizable one for me is I’m going to beat your ass.
I’m putting out my “damn- sure-not-without-a-fight” look, even if I might deserve it for being stupid and getting her pregnant.
“What the fuck is this? Is this what you called me over here for?” He clenches his fist at his side and holds up a hand when I start to say something.
His whole body tenses, and he looks like he’s going to charge at me at any second.
Cat moves forward, but I don’t let her hand go, I hold it firmly to keep her from moving closer to him.
I haven’t seen him this angry in a long time. This is going to be a disaster.
“I know what this is; I just can’t believe you did this fucked-up shit again.” He’s looking at both of us when he talks. He steps back and shakes his head. “Un-fucking-believable!”
Cat puts her other hand on her stomach and tries to take another step toward him.
I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I remember how Jay reacted in the hospital when he grabbed her.
Brother or not, if that happens again, I’m going to lose it and kick Chris’s ass down these steps.
I hold her hand and take my eyes off him.
She looks at me with a sad half smile. The look in her eyes makes me want to slam the door, shut her family out, and tell her she doesn’t need to do this shit.
I’m getting angry, and that’s not a good thing for me and Chris to be with each other when she’s around.
In a soft voice she tells me, “Nick, it’s okay.”
I look at Chris, who’s staring at me with his fists clenched, ready to knock me out.
“Chris?” Cat says his name, her voice wavering. His eyes drop to her stomach, and he shakes his head, coming to a decision. He unclenches his hands and looks in her eyes before he shakes his head and looks away.
She pulls her hand out of mine, and I reluctantly let her. Putting her hands around his waist she hugs him, her face pressed against his chest. “Please don’t be mad. You’re the only family still speaking to me. I need you and him. Give him a chance and let him explain. It wasn’t him alone.”
He puts his arm around her and hugs her back. “I’m telling you, there’s a chance no one will accept this, Cat.”
“I already know.”
She steps to the side and he follows me into my office.
Inside my office, I tell him if he wants to hit me to do so. I deserve it. I fucked up big time with Kate and Cat. I can’t take any of it back, and I wouldn’t, because if I did I wouldn’t have Cat here with me now.
“I love your sister—”
“Which one?”
“Come on, man.”
“Ugh, man!” He turns his back to me and rubs the flat of his hand over his forehead and plops down in the chair by my desk.
“You know how I’ve always felt about her. She was young. We were young. I didn’t want to cross a line with our friendship. You’re like my brother. We’ve gone through a lot together—”
“I didn’t think you would go through my sisters.”
“What are you more upset about, Chris?”
“What am I not upset about? I have one sister just putting herself back together because of you and another one out there… I don’t even know what’s going on with her. You didn’t just have sex with my sisters, you screwed my entire family. And you’re telling me you love her?”
“You know I do.”
“I know! But your love keeps hurting her and the rest of my family.”
“What do you want me to do? Stop loving her? I can’t. She’s pregnant with my child. You want me to leave her? We both know that’s not going to happen.”
“Man, I don’t know what to do with this.”
An hour later, we still don’t know what to do.
He’s still furious with me and not so happy with Cat either.
We manage to come to an agreement to not make this any harder for Cat and stressing her out even more than she already is.
We both know what it’s going to be like when she tells the rest of her family about us.
Cat
I couldn’t stop walking around the whole time Chris was in Nick’s office.
I didn’t know what was going on, except hearing a few raised voices.
I was relieved when Chris came out and both their faces were intact and no blood was to be seen.
It went way better than I thought. I was hoping their friendship would keep them from going at each other. I was hoping; I wasn’t sure.
We sit down in the living room, my legs curled under me, facing Chris.
“I’m scared to tell them.”
“Don’t be. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’ll be there if you want, and Nick will be there with you.”
I run a finger over my brow. “I’m more scared at him being there than the actual telling them part. You know Nick has a temper at times, but he’s good at keeping it in check. I also noticed since we’ve been together that if the situation involves me, it kicks his temper up a notch.”