Chapter 3 #2
“That’s not the point. You almost got an education that day—shit, a little longer and you would have graduated with a master’s in education in the grass and we would have both been fucked.
You were my friend’s little sister, I was supposed to help him keep the guys off you, not be one of the guys on you.
I made sure I didn’t touch you after that. ”
Believe me, I know. You acted like I had a disease. Nick parks the car in a parking spot, looking at his watch.
“We’re early. Let’s wait here until it’s time to go in.”
“I don’t know…maybe we should wait inside.” I look around the parking lot and across the street at the entrance of the lounge.
“What, are you afraid to be alone with me?”
Yes! I shake my head. “No. Not at all.”
I wish he would stop looking at me like that. If he won’t stop looking at me like that, I’m just going to look out the window. The DJ starts talking about people’s firsts again; this time he’s talking about people losing their virginity. I wish this guy would shut up.
“I was fifteen my first time, what about you?”
Is he really asking me about my first time? Somebody save me. “I’m not answering that question; we shouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not. It’s not appropriate, given your current updated Facebook status.”
“You know I don’t have a personal Facebook account; you don’t have one either. And no matter what my status is, we should be able to talk about anything. We’ve been friends since we were little kids. I understand if you’re…embarrassed—”
“I’m not embarrassed.”
“Are you sure? You look like you’re blushing.”
“I do not blush. Stop smiling at me.” I want to slap that smile off his face.
“There’s no harm in talking, Cat. That’s all we’re doing. You never wondered who my first time was with? Right now you’re wondering who it was, if you know her. If you weren’t thinking about it before, you’re thinking about it now; maybe it could have been one of your friends.”
“I know it wasn’t one of my friends; they were too young and you’re not that guy.” He gives me a crooked smile and shakes his head.
“How do you know? It very well could have been one of your older friends.”
“I know it wasn’t, so who was it?”
“Samantha Owens.”
“Samantha Owens, the cheerleader.”
“Why do you say it like that? She was nice.”
“I’m sure she was.”
“She was. I was fifteen, and she was my first serious girlfriend; she looked like Tiffani Amber Thiessen. You know, the actress from Saved by the Bell?”
“Yeah, I know who you’re talking about. Chris and Jay watched that show, I liked it. She was the perky cheerleader everyone wanted to go out with, including my brothers.”
“Everyone wanted to date Samantha; she was popular, cute, and smart. She had all of that going for her, and she wasn’t mean or conceited.”
“What, a regular girl wasn’t good enough for you? You had to pick little Ms. Perfect.”
“No, I didn’t pick her. She actually picked me, even though she was a year older.”
“Please don’t act like you’re surprised. You were on the football team, your family had money, you made good grades, and you were good-looking. Why wouldn’t she choose you?”
“I would like to think that my personality had a little to do with her liking me.”
I roll my eyes at him again. “Okay, if that’s what you want to believe.”
“Like I was saying—”
“Yes, like you were saying.”
“Can I—”
“Yes, you can.” I like doing this to him; he hates to be interrupted in the middle of a sentence.
I used to do it to him when we were younger.
I knew it made him mad—that was the fun part.
Seeing the look on his face now makes me remember why I liked doing it.
I like to see his jaw clenched and his full lips, so freaking hot.
“Okay, I’m sorry, you can finish your stroll down memory lane. ”
“Cat, I know what you’re trying to do. I’m not bothered.”
Sure you’re not. I give him my I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about look.
“Like I was saying, one day after school we were at her house by ourselves. One minute we were sitting on her bed kissing and the next thing I know we were naked.”
“That’s it? You got naked and had sex—no discussion, no second thoughts from her, no yes, Nick, I want to do this?” I throw my hand up to his chest in a dramatic defensive motion. “No Nick, I can’t! I’m too sweet, innocent, and perfect! Don’t pop my cherry.”
He raises his eyebrows and looks at me with an amused look, more of a smirk.
“Very funny, Cat, very funny.”
I tilt my head to the side and smile at him.
He puts his hand over mine, and I suddenly realize the mistake I made by touching him.
There they are, those enchanting smoky gray eyes that change to an unusual clear grayish-blue, staring down at me as if he can see right through me.
No one should have eyes like this. They will make any girl drop her panties.
“I wonder how funny it would still be if I leaned over and gave you a long, slow hard kiss on those pretty lips.”
I feel butterflies in the bottom of my stomach, swirling so fast I can barely breathe. I snatch my hand from underneath his hand and look away.
“There was no conversation beforehand, it happened naturally. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to, she said yes, and that was that.”
“Was she a virgin too?”
“Yeah, we were two virgins who weren’t sure what the hell we were doing, but we did use protection.”
“At least you knew enough to use protection.”
“My father’s sex ed conversation was ‘don’t come back with anything you didn’t leave with, especially a baby.’”
“Well, that does sound like your father.” Nick’s father was always straight and to the point; if he liked you, you knew it; if he didn’t, you knew it too.
“What about you, what was your first time like?”
“Is it my turn to share already?”
“Yes, how old were you?”
“I was late to the party. I was almost eighteen.”
“Really, I wouldn’t have thought that.”
“What, do you think I was sleeping around? I was a good girl, my brothers would have kicked my ass and the guy’s.”
“I know that, and I know you were a good girl. I thought you would have been a little older, so don’t get all worked up.”
“I’m not. Like Samantha, it happened at my house when no one was home.”
“Weren’t you scared someone would come home?”
“No, I knew no one would be home for hours, but it was still in the back of my mind. It wasn’t planned—he wasn’t even a boyfriend. I never really had a boyfriend. I had lots of dates but not a real boyfriend.”
“He was some random guy you were dating?”
“No, we weren’t even dating; he was more of my brother’s friend. He was nice, and I thought he was cute.”
His eyes widen. “Which brother’s friend was it?” he demanded.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes! You shouldn’t have been having sex or anything else with any of your brothers’ friends! They were way too old for you. They all knew if they laid a hand on you they were going to get their ass beaten.”
It’s amazing how those eyes can turn from steamy and sexy to outraged within seconds.
He’s not even yelling, and I can feel the anger rising off him like fog on a bleak, stormy night.
“Well, it doesn’t matter now. It was years ago, and he didn’t force me to do anything.
I’m the one who wanted to lose my virginity. ”
“Why?”
I shrug my shoulders and think about it for a second.
“At the time, everyone was talking about how great sex was. This might seem silly to you, but I wanted to experience what everyone was talking about. I felt I was ready and mature enough to handle the situation, and I didn’t want to wait for a boyfriend that I never had or that so-called special one. ”
You were the special one, but you weren’t going to lay a hand on me. I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that he’s thinking about what I said and I know he’s going to want to know who this guy was.
“Were you ready?”
“Yes and no. Like I said, I was home alone when the doorbell rang, I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I went to the door and it was one of Chris’s friends.
” He throws his hand up in the air in frustration.
“You heard right, Chris’s friend, so don’t interrupt me.
” I roll my eyes at him and continue. “He was returning something he borrowed from Chris. I told him he wasn’t home, but he could come in if he wanted.
He asked me if it was okay for him to come in ’cause it seemed like no one was there, and I told him it was. ”
“Which was a lie.”
“It wasn’t, I was allowed to have company, just not a boy in my room, and we weren’t in my room at the time.
He came in, we started talking, and he saw the book I was reading for my English class on the table.
It was Edgar Allen Poe. He said it was one of his favorites, and it was one of mine, too.
We spent about two hours talking, I found out we had a lot in common.
He said I was smart and cute, and if I wasn’t off-limits he would have kissed me already.
I told him some limits shouldn’t stop him from doing what he wants, and I wouldn’t tell if he didn’t. ”
I pause to look at Nick, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking. His head is against the headrest, his eyes don’t leave my face, and they’re intense. I’m starting to feel exposed, and I’m not sure I like that, and I think he knows it. That’s one of the reasons he’s so good at his job.
“What’s wrong?” he says quietly.
“Nothing.” I take a breath and continue.
“We were sitting on the couch when he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. It was soft and sweet but then it changed—not in a bad way; his kiss was one of the first kisses from a guy to make me feel something different, something I couldn’t explain.
When his hands touched me, I wanted to know—I wanted to feel more.
I just wanted to know what it was like. I took his hand, we went upstairs, and I locked the door.
He took my hand and asked if I was absolutely sure.
I said yes. He didn’t treat me like I was the girl he was going to sleep with that night and forget about the next day, or Chris’s little sister.
I was Catherine, and he was who he was. He knew it was my first time, and he made me feel like everything I felt at the moment mattered to him. ”
“Did you regret it?”
“That night I did, it hurt like hell! But he held me and kissed me, he told me it wasn’t always going to feel like this—”
“You don’t need to go into every single detail, I don’t need a visual!”
“You asked.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“He said, ‘what we did was all mechanical, but when it’s with the right person, it’s a whole different experience. When it’s with the one you love, that’s when it’s going to be the first time for you.’”
“Words of wisdom from the guy who took your virginity. How sweet.”
I can’t believe this guy has the nerve to cop an attitude with me for something that happened years ago, when he’s engaged to my sister.
I turn around in the car seat to fully face him.
I look him straight in his stormy gray eyes, ’cause we both know there’s a storm coming and it’s going to happen right here in this damn car.
I put my hand against the armrest and lean over, and in a slow controlled voice I articulate every single word so he can hear me clearly.
“He didn’t take anything. I gave it to him.” Before I can blink, the storm in his eyes turns into a full-on thunderstorm I have never seen before, at least not aimed toward me. He runs his hand through his thick black hair and puts the other one on the steering wheel.
“What the fuck, Cat!”
“Don’t treat me like a child, Nick! Back then I didn’t need your permission or anyone else’s to tell me when I could have sex with a man.
I didn’t need it then or now. I’m a grown woman!
I do what I want, when I want!” We’re yelling at each other and neither one of us cares.
He turns to me with his hand still gripping the steering wheel and points his index finger at me like he’s in court and I’m on trial for a heinous crime.
“So I should assume that since that night, you make a habit of sleeping with men you barely know?”
“You are way out of line.”
“I wasn’t expecting to hear anything you said to me. Some guy comes to the door and you suddenly decide you’re going to have sex with him—”
“It wasn’t like that!”
“He was too old for you, and he damn well knew you were off limits to him. What’s his name?”
“None of your business. Why are you so angry, Nick? Is it because one of your friends dared to disobey an order from you and my brother, or is it because you weren’t the one having sex with me, you weren’t the one kissing me, touching me, doing those things to me?”
“I wouldn’t have done that to you! You were too young, and you were my best friend’s little sister.”
“And that’s the problem! I’m going inside.” Popping open the door, I jump out and slam it as hard as I can before stomping through the lot and into the restaurant.