Chapter 10
Cat
“Catherine, didn’t you hear me calling you?”
“Catherine!”
I’m sitting up in the couch with my legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles. I almost jump off the couch when a hand pats me on the shoulder. I look up, and my mother’s saying something to me, but I can’t hear her with my headphones on. I take them off.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I was calling you.”
“Sorry, I had my headphones on, trying to go over the lesson plan for Mrs. Smith’s kindergarten class.”
“I didn’t know you started working already!”
“I haven’t. She asked me if I could come in a few days a week so the kids and I can get used to each other. It’ll be better for them instead of her suddenly leaving to go on maternity leave.”
She leans down and gently brushes my legs off the sofa. “Darling, please don’t put your legs on the couch, sit up straight. It’s better for your back.”
“Mom, my back is just fine.”
“It won’t be if you keep sitting like that. How will you ever find a man if you look like the hunchback of Notre Dame? Honey, you’re a cute girl, but no man wants that.”
“He wouldn’t be the man for me if he’s superficial enough to only judge me by what he sees on the outside, instead of getting to know my inner beauty.”
“Please, have I not taught you anything? Men are visual creatures. If they like what they see then they might get to know you enough to find out who the real you is. Most men don’t want to know the real you.
They want to look at something pretty to show off to their friends.
They’re looking for a trophy, and if you come with a brain that’s a bonus. ”
“Mom, I can’t believe you just said that.
” I can’t believe it, because almost word for word, that’s what Isabelle said at lunch to Ava, Chloe, and me.
Sometimes my mom is behind the times when it comes to her thinking about men and women.
This is one subject we do not see eye to eye on.
I shouldn’t have to pretend to be something I’m not to have a relationship.
I should be able to be comfortable with who I am and so should he.
You can only hide the real you for so long.
I believe it’s better you know who I am upfront rather than later.
“Don’t look so shocked, Catherine. Think about it—most women who are highly educated, running their own business or the head of a Fortune 500 company are what? Single.”
“That’s not true.” I close my iPad and put it on the table while she keeps talking.
“You want to know why?”
I sigh and sit back and wait to hear the rest of her life lessons on men and relationships. I’m really trying not to be sarcastic. “Why, Mom?”
“Because they want to be the man in the relationship. They want to pay for everything, tell the man what to do and how to do it. No real man wants that. As a woman, you have to know when to step back and let the man be a man.”
“How would you go about doing that?” I’m humoring her to get her to stop talking quicker; I don’t want to hear this. I’ve listened to her spout this stuff off to me for years.
“Pay attention, dear. I can teach you something about how to get a man and keep him.”
Here we go. I sit back and pretend to care about men, women, and relationships.
“Lesson one: let the man pick up the check, even if you make more than he does and you can afford to.”
“How’s that going to make him feel like a man?”
“By letting him feel like he can take care of his woman. Men want to feel like they’re needed, even if they’re not.
Never let them feel emasculated. If you do that, they’re going to find someone else to make them feel like a man.
Sit up straight and pay attention, Catherine!
I’m giving you my best pearls of wisdom. ”
“I’m listening to every word you say, Mother. I can’t wait to hear what else you have to impart. I’m pretty sure with the experience you’ve had over the years you know exactly what you’re talking about.”
“Then pay attention. Lesson two: make sure he loves you more than you love him. That way, when and if trouble arises, he’s more likely to forgive you for your mistake. Huh! You know that lesson well, don’t you?”
“What kind of mistake, Mother?”
“Darling, it can be anything from burning his favorite shirt while ironing or spending too much at Tiffany’s. What is that look for?”
“What look?” I wave my hand in the air with a flourish, eyes open wide with a regal tone in my voice. “I’m listening to your worldly knowledge of women and men. What did you call them…your priceless pearls or gems of wisdom?”
She puts on her stern expression, perfected over the years.
When I was a child, we butted heads frequently.
She would want me to go right, and I would have rather gone up and around.
I wanted to play soccer, and she wanted me to take ballet classes.
In the end, if we couldn’t agree, the deciding vote would come down to my father, and who do you think he sided with?
Me or his beloved wife who he had to deal with for the rest of his life? Exactly!
“Sarcasm will get you nowhere. Don’t be rude, Catherine. I’m your mother; you might not think I know what I’m talking about but I do. I know what’s best for you.”
“I know you think you do.”
She raises her perfectly arched eyebrow—which she pays way too much money for to be done every other week—and purses her lips. “Maybe if you listen to me, you too can catch a man like your sister, and end up engaged to someone like Nicholas Alexander.”
There it is—guilt. I wish I could evaporate into thin air at the mention of his name and his so-called engagement to Kate.
“Your sister’s happily engaged and getting married soon. Next she’ll be having babies. I want the same for you. Wouldn’t it be nice if both of you could have kids around the same time so they could be close in age and grow up together with Sasha? Wouldn’t that be nice?”
I wish I could sink into this couch to get away from this conversation.
If she only knew there’s a good possibility she could get exactly what she wants.
I can see it now, next year this time, Kate and I could be sitting across the table from each other at Thanksgiving dinner with our matching newborn babies fathered by the same man at the same time.
How dysfunctional is that? It would be a Jerry Springer holiday special in the making.
“Cat, are you listening to me? I don’t think you heard a word I said.”
“Mom, I heard every single word you said.”
Before she can continue with whatever else she has to say, the doorbell rings. “Saved by the bell,” I murmur.
“Speak up, Cat, I didn’t hear what you said.”
“I said I’ll see who’s ringing the doorbell.”
“Maybe it’s Kate, she said she was coming over tonight.”
I hope not. She’s the last person I want to see. I’ve been avoiding her like the plague for days.
“Ava’s supposed to stop by, maybe that’s her.
” If it’s her, she has perfect timing, as usual.
I don’t know how much longer I can take my mother talking about me, Nick, and Kate.
I’m getting a headache thinking about this whole situation.
It’s been a week now, he’s texted me about twenty times since we had sex, and I haven’t looked at any of them.
I’m scared and angry, I’m trapped in a terrible nightmare, and I think I’m going to wake up any minute now but I can’t because it’s real. Real fucked up.
Ava is fabulous as usual, with her new flowing strawberry blonde locks, Birkin bag, red bottom heels, and color-block mini dress. I have to smile to myself. She never fails to be fabulous. She can be wearing jeans, sneakers, and a tank top and she will still look ready for a runway.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Reed.” Ava walks over to my mother, and they hug and kiss before she sits down next to me on the sofa.
“Ava, maybe you can help me explain to my daughter that she needs… How would I put this?”
“She’s giving me life lessons on how to get a man.”
“Not just get a man; just any man won’t do. He has to have a never-ending stream of financial security. If he doesn’t, what good is he going to be to you?”
Ava and I look at each other at the same time with a wide-eyed stare.
“I agree with you, Mrs. Reed—just any man won’t do. What type of man do you think Cat needs, besides the obvious financial security? I might be able to help her find that man.”
“She needs a man that is able to take care of her and provide for her in style. He should be, and he should also come from a family of, good breeding.”
“Like a cocker spaniel?” I put my hand across my waist and cover my mouth with the other to stop myself from laughing, she sounds ridiculous.
I can see Ava’s lips twitching, she wants to laugh so badly.
“Mom, this is not the 1800s. At this point I’ll settle for a man whose status is uncomplicated.
If I get the cocker spaniel you’re talking about, I’m sure he’s going to come with complications and high demands.
I think I’ll settle for a poodle; they’re showy but I believe they’re more loyal than the spaniel. ”
“Don’t mock me, young lady.”
The look she’s giving me could melt ice on a zero degree day in the middle of January. My mother doesn’t do well with sarcasm or mockery when it’s directed at her—something else Kate and her have in common.
“I’m going to ignore your last remark. You are still young; you will learn I am right when it comes to relationships between men and women. That brings me back to the reason I came down here.”
She’s upset with me, but she won’t say anything in front of Ava. She doesn’t believe in airing her dirty laundry in front of other people.
“I have the perfect man for you; he’s tall, great bone structure and a nice physique, he’s very fit, he works out daily.”
“What, is he a personal trainer?”
“No!”
“All right, calm down, don’t get your feathers in a bunch.” She can be so serious at times.