Chapter 15 #2
I turn around when he leaves and head straight for the chair my clothes are on.
I have to go. I know he’s going to want to talk about what happened last night.
Since we haven’t seen each other since we had sex in the back of his car, he’s going to want to talk about everything.
Me, him, Kate—I can’t deal with that now; everything’s coming at me at once.
I don’t feel good, and I need to get out of here before he comes back.
Yeah, I know it’s the coward’s way out, leaving without telling him.
I can be brave tomorrow when I don’t feel like shit laid out on the street, and I can remember more of what happened last night.
I put my clothes on in record time and get out the door.
I couldn’t find my damn underwear, so I have to go outside with my bare ass cheeks, and a gust of wind flying up my skirt gives me the cold shaft right up my ass.
I probably deserve it, a taste of what’s to come for the list of sins I’ve recently committed.
By the time I get home, I know for sure this is the beginning of me paying for my sins.
I walked five blocks down from Nick’s place, just in case he decided to come looking for me.
You would think I would be able to catch a cab in this short skirt and skyscraper heels.
No, not me, I’m freezing my butt off like a fifty-cent street walker.
My hair is an absolute mess, along with my makeup.
I look like a drag queen gone wrong. The cab drivers were probably afraid they’d get arrested if they picked me up.
Even if I could have gotten a cab, I don’t know what happened to my money.
I only had ten dollars in my pocket—nowhere near enough to get to Brooklyn.
I finally gave up and decided to take the walk of shame to the subway, where I was on the ride of shame.
I felt like all eyes were on me, like somehow they knew everything I did and they knew I wasn’t wearing underwear.
I was so uncomfortable. I kept trying to pull my skirt down with one hand while smoothing my hair down with the other.
I stared down at the floor the entire train ride until I heard my stop.
It was a relief to get off that train. My relief was short-lived, because I had to walk into my parents’ house.
I brace myself for who I would see when I walk in.
To tell the truth, my mother is the only person I’m worried about running into.
I know I look a hot steaming mess, and questions are going to be asked if she sees me.
Questions I don’t want to answer. All I want to do is drag myself into the shower and sleep till tomorrow.
Luck is finally on my side, because the first person I see is Sophie.
She takes one look at me, drops what’s in her hands, and rushes over to me.
“Oh my goodness, what happened to you? Were you in some kind of an accident? Did someone attack you?”
The look on her face is comical. If I wasn’t feeling so bad, I would laugh. She takes my hand and helps me take my coat off.
“No, Sophie, I wasn’t in an accident, no one attacked me.”
“Then what happened to you?”
“A massive hangover. My first and last. It will never happen again.”
“Thank heavens; you look awful, chérie.”
“Thanks a lot. I feel worse than I look.”
“I don’t know why you would do this to yourself.” She clicks her tongue at me. “You’re too pretty of a girl for this. I hope this is not a habit you’ve picked up since you’ve been away at school.”
“No, it was a one-time thing. Ava took me out last night.”
“Now I see. I like Ava, and she’s a nice girl, but she can be a little...what you would call… a free spirit.”
“Yes, she is. A very free spirit.”
I take her hand when my coat is off and steer her toward the stairs leading to my room. I notice it’s kind of quiet for a Sunday afternoon. Most Sundays at this time of day, everyone’s here, including Jay with Vanessa and Sasha.
“Sophie, where is everyone?”
“Your parents went out to some function, the ladies auxiliary something or other. I can’t remember. Your mother has so many committees and boards she’s a member of. After a while they all start to sound the same to me. Boring, stuck up and more boring.”
I smile at her. I’m in full agreement with what she said. Most of the people on those committees are stuffy old women who are boring as hell. “Don’t let my mother hear you saying that about her precious committees, even if it is true.”
“I’m not afraid to tell your mother what I think. She spends too much time caring about those committees and what they say and think. The only opinion she should be concerned with in the way she conducts herself is her husband’s and her children.”
That’s why I love Sophie; she’s not afraid to speak her mind, and she’s not afraid to tell my mother what she thinks when she’s had enough. “Where’s Kate?”
“She had to get some things from her apartment since it looks like she’ll be staying here for an indefinite amount of time while they fix her apartment.”
Great. Kate and I under the same roof. Breakfast and dinner together every day.
Every day I get to look at her, knowing what I did and pretending I don’t know she’s pregnant.
My own personal hell. There is no better motivation for me to find my own place.
I don’t care if I have to live in a shoe box that costs two thousand dollars a month.
I never had to go on a ramen noodle diet in school, but I will now if I have to.
I have to find a place where my guilt isn’t eating away at me.
“I don’t think your brothers are coming over here today since your parents are out.”
Thank God for small miracles. I lie down on my bed when we get to my room.
Sophie insists on running me an Epsom salt bath she says will relax me.
I don’t argue. When I’m finished with my bath I feel a little better.
I drag on a tank top, a pair of shorts, crawl under my covers, and bury my face into my pillow.
When I wake up, it’s the next morning. I feel much better.
It’s amazing what a day of sleep can do.
Sophie brought me breakfast in bed. It was delicious, all of it.
I was starving. It was a good twenty-four hours since I last ate, and needless to say, I didn’t leave a crumb of food on my plate.
After I ate, I took a bath, got dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted V-neck T-shirt.
I was ready to face the day and deal with my problems. I have time, since I only go to the school twice a week until Mrs. Smith goes on maternity leave.
First order of business for the day, call Ava. Tell her about everything that happened and find out what she knows. I look at my phone and check my messages. Ava left me a message wanting to know if I’m all right. Then she left a text for me saying she spoke to Sophie and she’ll call me later.
Funny, there’s no text from Nick. That’s not like him; usually he would’ve called to see if I got home okay.
I guess he was upset that I just left without telling him.
I look down at my phone and bite my lip.
I guess I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t call.
I call Ava and tell her to come over to my house so we can talk.
Three hours later we’re in my room, and she tells me she spoke to Nick.
“So what happened between you and my cousin yesterday morning?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
She crosses her arms and sits back in the chair at my desk. “You know he’s not going to do that. If I want the goods on what happens between you two, I have to get it from you.”
“He didn’t tell you anything?”
“No, but I’m sure I will get an earful of shit I don’t want to hear from him when I leave here.
I’m heading over to his place later. He ordered me over to his home to talk to me about our”—she holds her hands up making air quotation marks with her fingers— “girls’ night out. ” She lets out an exaggerated sigh.
I give her a sympathetic look, because I can only imagine how upset he is going to be after I ran out on him. I hope he doesn’t take it out on Ava and blame her for what happened. “Did he sound upset when you spoke to him?”
She gets up off the chair and walks across the room to lie back on my bed, her elbows propping her up in front of me.
“Upset doesn’t even describe it. He nearly took my head off yesterday when I answered my phone, which wouldn’t have been hard to do with the headache I had.
Remind me never to drink so much again. I’m getting too old for it.
I used to be able to party all night then get back up and do it again the next night. ”
I smile and shake my head at her. “Back in your college glory days…ah.”
She shakes her new strawberry blonde hair and sits back up on the bed. “You know it, girl. I was young, wild, free, and the life of the party. Good times. Anyway, he told me I better call you and make sure you got home safely and you were okay.”
“He did?” I’m surprised and pleased.
“Yes, he did! He wasn’t nice about it either. He was downright nasty—not to mention rude. He said something about you running off from his apartment. What was that about? I need to know the whole story so I know what I’m dealing with before I go over there.”
I take a deep breath, sit back against my headboard, and cross my legs Indian style.
I tell her everything that happened at Nick’s and the cowardly way I ran off before he could finish his phone call.
I tell her about Matt confessing his feelings for me and us making out in the office in the back of the club.
I conveniently leave out the part where we went at it on the desk.
Not that I think Ava’s going to judge me.
I know she wouldn’t, but she’s still Nick’s cousin, and once again I can’t keep a secret from her, so I end up telling her anyway.