Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
A s they walked through the forest, Elijah kept up a steady stream of conversation, like he could ward off the awkwardness of the situation if he held the silence at bay.
“We checked the map while tracking the frost spirit and noticed this hazy smudge was growing at an alarming rate. We knew there had to be a problem and ran here. But man, that thing was potent. I think the only reason we managed not to get caught in it was our bond. It’s only been a few days, but I’ve gotten used to sensing lust from an external source. When it’s from Victor, it feels right, but from that spirit, it felt so wrong.”
He babbled about how they’d captured two spirits, but Kade couldn’t concentrate on what Elijah was saying. His thoughts were a tangled mess.
God, he’d fucked up. Again. And he’d dragged Liam down with him.
Liam might not think it was Kade’s fault; Kade knew the truth. This had happened to him before. He should have recognized it, should have known there was no way Liam would respond to him like that.
But this had played out so differently. Last time, he’d been caught off-guard. The decay spirit had come at him from out of nowhere. One moment he’d been searching for the spirit, and the next—
Panic clawed at his chest; water closed over his head, filling his lungs. The world tilted and blurred.
A hand clamped around his wrist, and the ball of foreign emotions in the back of Kade’s mind seemed to pulse with a calming warmth. It eased through Kade, seeping into his muscles, loosening the vice grip that constricted his lungs.
He breathed—shaky at first, but gradually steadying as he brought Liam’s face into focus.
His expression concerned, Liam stared at him with an intensity that made Kade want to shield himself from the scrutiny.
“Everything alright?” Elijah asked, and both Kade and Liam jumped.
“We’re fine.” Liam’s hand fell away from Kade’s wrist. “All good here.”
That wasn’t remotely true, but Kade followed Victor and Elijah as they hiked. Elijah shot them another skeptical look over his shoulder.
Kade had no clue how Liam did it, but he continued to project calm through their bond. It was faint but soothing, something Kade could cling to in the chaos. And somehow, that made him feel worse.
Liam shouldn’t have had to reassure him. He’d identified the spirit; he’d known how it was affecting them. Everything after that had been Kade’s doing. Kade had been the one pushing things, escalating things. He should have been setting Liam at ease, not the other way around.
His only offering was physical support, though Liam no longer seemed to need that. And to make it worse, his wolf radiated smug satisfaction at having Liam pressed against their side. It kept reminding Kade of how Liam’s body had felt—hot and tight and perfect—and how much it wanted Liam under them again. It didn’t care if they’d been possessed. They had a mate now; that was all that mattered. Everything else would fall into place.
But his wolf was wrong. Other things mattered. How it happened. Who it was. It mattered.
Victor hadn’t trusted his wolf around magic, and Kade had thought he was being ridiculous. Their wolves never misled them. Apparently, he’d been naive.
He’d lost count of the number of times he’d fantasized about getting bonded, the scenarios that had played out in his head. Candlelit dinners, kissing under the stars, edging his soon-to-be mate until the need to be tied together was their entire universe.
Not once had he imagined this. Fucking someone who only wanted it because of a lust spirit, pushing them down in the dirt, taking them when they weren’t properly prepared.
Whatever his wolf’s opinion, the more logical, human parts of Kade’s brain were horrified. Nausea pooled in his gut.
Liam glanced at him, frowning, and Kade wrenched his mind away from that line of thought before another panic attack threatened to take over. The last thing Liam needed was to have to deal with Kade’s shit on top of everything else.
Kade was pathetic, and his wolf was confused. The lack of scent must have thrown it off. If they could smell Liam, his wolf would understand how they weren’t compatible. Liam was too smart to be stuck out here. He’d said it himself; he didn’t want to be tied to a pack. This situation didn’t warrant his wolf’s smugness.
He didn’t need his sense of smell to know this wasn’t when he was supposed to find his mate. The day his grandmother had foreseen him getting bonded to a mage was etched into his memory. This was not what she’d predicted.
She’d known Victor would bond a mage since before he was in elementary school. It had been an accepted fact for decades, and Victor had gotten his fair share of teasing over it. Their pack had been waiting for Victor’s mage to arrive, but they didn’t know that Victor wasn’t the only one she’d predicted ending up with a mage.
Kade had been thirteen and alone with his grandmother when the foresight had hit her. Her gaze had gone distant, seeing something Kade couldn’t.
“You’ll bond a mage too,” she’d said, her eyelids sliding shut, a soft smile on her lips. “After Victor.”
But then she’d paused, and Kade had waited, breath held.
She’d shaken her head and opened her eyes.
“It won’t be right after Victor finds his mage. It’ll take a while.” She’d reached over to pat his hand. “You’ll need to be patient and give it some time, but you’ll have a true bond too.”
A handful of days was not a while. Not even close.
Their pack had always had mages, but with Victor predicted to get mated to one, Kade had figured he wouldn’t. Her vision had thrilled him though. Most of their history was about pack members with true bonds to mages. They were the strongest, the best leaders, the ones who protected their pack from anything that was thrown at them. He’d wanted that. Not to be a pack alpha—that was Victor’s destiny, not his, and Kade didn’t envy him for it—but strengthening his pack through his love for his mate spoke to something deep in his soul.
Sure, he might sleep around to kill time while he waited, but having that kind of connection with someone, the same thing Victor and Elijah shared, what his grandparents had shared… He longed for that more than he’d admitted to anyone, even Victor.
But this? This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. No true bond started like this.
His grandmother had never brought it up again. She hadn’t told the pack. Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe that pause had been her realizing something was wrong with his bond. What if she’d seen him getting bonded and assumed it would be a true bond? She never would have conceived of a wolf in their pack fucking up to this extent.
It’d be fitting after everything Kade had done to Victor and Elijah. This was karma. He’d been given the thing he’d always hoped for, but would never be able to keep it, and he only had himself to blame.
Ahead of them, Elijah stopped and spun around, startling Kade out of his spiraling thoughts.
“I’m so sorry,” Elijah said, and a flash of surprise filtered into Kade before Liam took a step toward Elijah.
Kade let him go.
The calming wash of Liam’s emotions went with him, leaving Kade cold and bereft at the sudden loss. Now that they weren’t touching, Liam was a distant, fuzzy impression, and if Kade needed any more proof that this wasn’t meant to be, that was it. If they’d had a true bond, he would’ve felt Liam regardless of how far apart they were. They’d be completely open to each other, too connected for anything else. Whatever they had, it was closer to something transactional than what Victor and Elijah had.
“ You’re sorry?” Liam asked.
Elijah winced. “If I hadn’t rearranged the groups to keep Kade and Aran apart, things would have been different. Kade would have been helping Aran heal the forest. You might have gone after another spirit.”
“It’s fine.” Liam sighed. “Can you imagine if you hadn’t? Maybe I would have had sex with a mated man. Or Kade and Aran would have gotten trapped by that spirit instead. Even I’m glad that didn’t happen. Let’s just say I took one for the team. Literally.”
A strange look crossed Elijah’s face. “You do realize that sounded more like an Aran joke than a Liam joke, right? Has Kade already been that much of a bad influence on you?”
He was kidding, trying to make the best of the situation, but it caused Kade to spiral deeper.
Some of his feelings must have bled through, because Liam narrowed his eyes at Kade like he was a puzzle to solve.
A twig snapped to Kade’s left. Leaves crunched underfoot, and branches rustled. People were drawing closer.
Unable to repress the instinct, Kade pulled Liam against him, his grip tight enough that Liam squeaked in surprise.
A few seconds later, Will and Miles appeared. As they approached, Will scented the air, his gaze zeroing in on Kade and Liam. He glanced at Victor for confirmation, and Victor nodded. Will’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t comment.
Miles seemed oblivious to that wordless exchange. “What’s going on? We saw a spirit getting bigger on the map and headed this wa—” His eyes took in how Kade was holding Liam.
“Are you okay?” He stepped forward, but Will grabbed him, holding him in place.
Miles slapped at his hands. “If you don’t let me go this minute, I will punch you in the face.”
Will looked startled and let Miles go.
Miles’s gaze jumped around the group. “Someone needs to tell me what happened. Now .”
There was silence for a beat, an increasingly murderous aura building around Miles, until Liam spoke.
“Kade and I had… a run-in with a spirit, and long story short, we’re bonded. Temporarily.”
His explanation didn’t appease Miles. “That was entirely too short. I need more details. But before that, would you like me to heal you?”
Kade growled, the reaction instinctual and uncontrolled. From what he knew of healing, it required touching, and true bond or not, anyone else getting that close to Liam was not something he could handle.
Liam’s hand found his wrist and squeezed. That simple touch was enough to reassure Kade. As long as Liam was there, everything would work out. Another foolish belief coming from his wolf.
Liam forced out a laugh, but hints of his embarrassment floated through their bond. “I’m not sure how I feel about you healing my ass, and honestly, it’s better than I expected. The spirit… uh, relaxed me? That was… nice of it? And I’m healing surprisingly fast.”
“That extra shifter energy really helps things along.” Elijah’s pale cheeks flushed pink when his brain caught up with his mouth.
Miles’s eyes widened.
“Oh god, can we not tell Aran about that?” Elijah asked.
“That’d be my first choice,” Liam said wryly.
There was more movement through the forest, and Rick and Aran joined their group.
“First choice about what?” Aran asked.
Elijah groaned. “Figures you’d show up now.”
Aran’s gaze landed on Liam, and any trace of humor in his expression vanished. He marched over and tugged aside the collar of Liam’s sweater, ignoring Kade’s warning growls.
“Oh, shut up. If you’re a decent guy, you won’t attack me.”
Kade blinked at him. He couldn’t guarantee that. His wolf hated that someone else’s hands were on Liam; it prowled below the surface, rumbling its discontent. But Aran wasn’t looking at him. He stared Liam dead in the eye.
“Do I need to kill him?” His voice was low, a dangerous edge to each word. Shimmering green twisted through the negative space of the ink on his arms.
Liam batted Aran’s hands away. “No. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Aran’s dark eyes bored into Liam’s, searching for any indication otherwise. Tension coiled around him, thick and heavy as a brewing storm, a feral predator restrained, a heartbeat away from springing on his prey.
He’d seemed so similar to Kade before, always ready with a dirty joke, but this version of him left no room for questions. He would kill Kade if he thought Kade had done this against Liam’s will, and Kade would deserve it.
“I’m good,” Liam said, equally serious. “We got caught up in a spirit and things happened. And you’ll be happy to know you and Miles will probably have the apartment to yourself.”
Aran studied Liam’s face for another drawn-out beat. Whatever he saw, he must have believed Liam. The looming threat that hung around him dissipated, and he smirked. “I bet you’re good.”
Kade shifted his weight on his feet, only to almost trip. He looked down. Roots were tangled around his shoes. It took effort to break free of their grasp. When he glanced up, Aran gave him a cool smile that was nothing but a warning.
But then Aran turned to Elijah.
“Just so you know, Elijah, I fucking love you. Thank you for not letting me go out into the forest with him. Dodged a bullet there. You saved my skin. Or—” He paused, considering. “—my ass, I guess.”
Liam glared, but a soft feeling hummed inside him that Kade had to assume was affection.
Aran paid him no heed. “And thank god you didn’t let Miles go either.”
“We must protect Miles at all costs.” Elijah nodded solemnly.
Miles beamed at them.
“That’s not it. I mean, Miles Mills? All that alliteration. It’d be a fate worse than death.”
“Hey. I’m not taking anyone’s name.” Liam’s tone was annoyed, but his body was more relaxed than before.
Kade couldn’t believe how quickly Liam seemed to have adjusted. How was he not blaming Kade for this? How was he not freaking out?
“Let’s get to the house,” Elijah said.
The trek back was quiet. Kade was lost in his thoughts, none of them pleasant.
They stopped outside the house and gathered in a circle, Kade still offering unnecessary support until Liam stepped away and stood on his own.
“Do we need to move Liam into the pack house?” Elijah asked.
Victor nodded. “Ideally in Kade’s room.”
“Are you alright with that, Liam?”
“I’d assumed as much. It’s fine. Better than sharing a bed with Aran.”
“You should be so lucky,” Aran said.
“Besides,” Liam continued like he hadn’t heard him, “Lady will be thrilled to get me out of her apartment. If there’s one thing she knows how to do, it’s hold a grudge.”
Something threaded between them, and while Kade couldn’t fully read it, it hinted that Liam was not as comfortable with the situation as he made it sound.
Miles’s brow furrowed. “It was a lust spirit?”
“Yeah,” Liam said.
“So they aren’t all bad? Or at least, not until they’re in excess.” Miles tilted his head. “We came across one that was… amusement? Hysteria? Suddenly, everything was funny. Will was practicing his dad jokes on me, and I actually thought they were amusing, which was weird, but then a leaf fell on the path in front of us. We were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. It was beyond creepy and difficult to focus long enough to get away from its influence.”
“You know when you were a kid and someone was tickling you, and it was funny until it started feeling like you were about to die?” Will asked. “That’s what it was. It was that severely uncomfortable, want-to-crawl-out-of-your-skin level of laughter. Do not recommend.”
“Okay,” Elijah said. “When we go out tomorrow, we have to keep that in mind. Be on guard for anything out of place, not just negative emotions.”
That wouldn’t have helped Kade. He’d been attracted to Liam since he first saw him. The spirit had amped that up, but none of what he’d felt had been foreign. Except bonding Liam, which had been his wolf’s doing.
The wind shifted slightly, and Rick inhaled, his nostrils flaring before his eyes darted to Victor. Victor gave him an almost imperceptible shake of the head, and Kade wanted to snarl at them. At Rick for smelling Liam when he couldn’t. At Victor for thinking he knew what the hell was going on. At himself for being so stupid about this.
It wasn’t real.
But no matter how many times he told himself that, he couldn’t rein in his instincts, not right then. Not with the bond so new. Standing out there, exposed, Liam out of his room, was making him twitchy. He needed to get them somewhere quiet and safe. Somewhere it was just them. He needed to touch Liam, to do so much more than that.
He had to suppress that though, because, for whatever reason, they had to stand there and keep talking, attempting to figure everything out. It made him want to sprout claws.
Liam’s hand circled his wrist, squeezing once, and Kade was instantly calmer. Liam squeezed again, then dropped his hand. Kade fought back the desire to chase after his touch.
“Listen, guys.” Liam cracked his neck like he was restless too. “Let’s hash this out later? I need a shower.”
“I bet you do. I can’t get over how much shifters co—” Elijah cut himself off, his cheeks red.
Aran cocked an eyebrow at him, and Elijah scowled.
Kade would rather not dwell on how thoroughly Elijah was acquainted with the amount shifters came when they knotted.
“Let’s call it a day,” Victor said, clearly trying to move the conversation along. “Maybe Miles and Aran could run to the shop and pick up Liam’s things before dinner?”
“Liam can borrow some of my—” Elijah started to offer, but Kade growled before he could stop himself. “Or not.”
“Kade won’t want your scent on Liam. Especially with how tied to my scent yours is. Even if he can’t—” It was Victor’s turn to cut himself off abruptly.
Even if he couldn’t smell. That was what Victor had been about to say. Kade knew it was ridiculous, but the idea of someone else’s scent covering Liam had his hackles rising.
“No problem,” Miles said. “Aran and I can pick up his stuff. Anyone up for placing wagers on how many dick jokes he can tell me during the hour-and-a-half round trip?”
In the betting chaos that followed, Liam tugged on Kade’s wrist, and they slipped into the house through the back door.
Inside the kitchen, they ran into Katrina.
“Will the mages be joi—” She froze and sniffed the air, her expression shocked. “Yes. I’m guessing yes.”
She sent Kade a look, but didn’t say anything else as they passed.
Kade herded Liam up the stairs, hoping to avoid meeting other pack members.
The moment he had Liam in his room, his wolf exhaled. Some of his tension drained away now that they were alone.
He crowded into Liam’s space, trying to breathe him in, running his hands over him, the instinct too strong to deny. There was still no scent, though his wolf urged him to try again.
Liam seemed surprised, but didn’t push Kade off. “I thought you couldn’t smell. Why are you inhaling like that?”
That brought Kade up short. He forced himself to stop touching Liam and back off. “Sorry. It’s… it’s a shifter thing. My wolf is convinced I’ll be able to smell you if I breathe deep enough.”
“I suppose I need to get used to the smelling and scenting for the next three weeks?”
Three weeks . This was so messed up.
“I’ll keep it to a minimum.”
“Okay.”
Silence settled between them, and Liam took in Kade’s room.
Their bond was too weak for Kade to sense Liam’s emotions as he surveyed his surroundings—the open window, the armchair, the door to the connected bathroom. He purposefully ignored the bed. Instead, his eyes latched on to the lone bookshelf.
He walked over as if drawn to it, and Kade was painfully aware of how empty it was. There were books on it, sure, but Liam had more in one suitcase than Kade had on that shelf. He doubted Liam would be interested in any of the books he owned.
As if confirming his theory, Liam turned away from the shelf, a small frown on his lips as he finally looked at the bed.
Kade wanted to cringe.
Only one bed. His life was such a cliché. He just hoped they didn’t wake up cuddling.
It was a big bed. They’d both fit, but Kade wasn’t going to presume.
“We can share, or I’ll sleep on the floor. Either way, I promise I won’t touch you more than necessary.”
Liam raised an eyebrow. “How much is necessary?”
Kade rolled his shoulders, uncomfortable. “From what I’ve heard, bonds are demanding at the beginning. My wolf will want us to be close, to reaffirm the bond.” Liam’s other eyebrow joined the first, so Kade rushed on. “We don’t have to have sex.”
Even people with new transactional bonds tended to have a lot of sex though, regardless of the lack of emotions between them.
But that didn’t matter. He hadn’t controlled himself in the forest, but he sure as hell would now. It might be torture—his wolf would want to touch Liam, scent him, mark him, knot him—but Kade would do his damn best to keep those instincts tamped down. It’d be better for them both.
“I’m fine with sharing.” Liam shrugged, then glanced down at himself. His clothes appeared mostly clean, but even without his sense of smell, Kade knew a considerable amount of his come had leaked out of Liam’s ass into his underwear. “Can I use your shower?”
Kade bit back the urge to apologize. He’d screwed the absolute hell out of this.
Liam tilted his head, listening to something. “Would you stop that?”
“Stop what?”
“That…” He waved his hands haphazardly around his head. “This. You. Whatever you’re feeling. Guilt? Is that what this is? It’s something not good.”
Kade stared at him incredulously. “Why wouldn’t I feel guilty? I forced myself on—”
“ NO .” Liam got into Kade’s personal space, and Kade thought he was about to strangle him. Instead, his hands settled gently along the sides of Kade’s neck, magic licking against his skin.
Kade wasn’t certain what was happening.
“This helps, right? When there’s skin contact, you can feel me better? Sense my emotions?”
“Yes?” While Liam’s presence wasn’t clear or easy to read, with his hands on Kade, he was more at the forefront. Determination radiated from him.
“Good. So sense my emotions, or whatever, while I’m saying this. I don’t blame you . I feel pretty damn violated, but not by you . I’m pissed that I got possessed by some bizarre lust spirit, but that’s not your fault . And it’s not my fault either. It’s the spirit’s fault . And I will tell you that as many times as you need to hear it to get it through your thick skull. But believe me when I say I don’t blame you . All this shit just makes me want to defeat these spirits more. I want to destroy them and whoever’s behind them.”
He let out a frustrated huff, his eyes not meeting Kade’s. Warmth curled between them as Liam sped through the next part so fast Kade almost couldn’t comprehend his words. “And I might not have noticed the spirit affecting me immediately because I thought you were hot from the moment I saw you in the airport and I wouldn’t have wanted to bond but I might have slept with you if it didn’t interfere with helping Elijah and even if it was fucked up I enjoyed some of it though that doesn’t make it okay or make me any less pissed at the spirit but basically what I’m saying is that I absolutely probably would have had sex with you if you’d been willing and no spirits were involved.”
He snatched his hands away, blushing a shade of red that would have given Elijah a run for his money.
Shell-shocked didn’t begin to describe Kade’s state of mind.
“Right. I should shower,” Liam said. He turned, but Kade grabbed his arm and spun him back.
Liam looked at him questioningly, and Kade copied his gesture, placing his hands along Liam’s neck, though he carefully avoided the bite mark, as tempting as it was to touch it.
“I also absolutely probably would have had sex with you without the spirit. And I want to kick these things’ asses too. I’m really, really done with getting possessed by them.”
He was sick of having panic attacks, sick of letting the decay spirit have power over him. Sick of not having agency over his own body. It needed to stop.
Liam let out a breath. “So we’re on the same page? Fucked-up situation, but we aren’t to blame?”
Kade felt lighter than he had since he’d returned to his senses in the clearing. He let his hands fall from Liam’s neck. “Yes. No more guilt. We’ll get through this, and we’ll find a way to kick incorporeal spirit ass.”
Liam nodded decisively, then winced. “I really need a shower.”
“Do you want fresh clothes? Underwear?”
“Yes, please.”
He wasn’t that much smaller than Kade. A little thinner and shorter, but they were close enough. Kade picked out underwear, sweatpants, and a sweatshirt and handed them over.
They’d make it through this. It’d work out.
Except Kade had to physically restrain himself from following Liam into the bathroom.
He and Liam might have been on the same page; his wolf was not.
The bathroom door shutting felt too final, like Kade would never see Liam again. But that was his wolf talking. How had Victor survived an entire night as far from Elijah as he had when Kade could barely stand being in a separate room, with one door between him and Liam?
Kade paced and waited for the shower to shut off, managing to sit in the chair and pretend he was gazing outside before Liam came out.
He had to grip the arms of the chair not to go to Liam when he saw him in his clothes. They were baggy, but so fucking perfect. It made contentment want to rumble in his chest.
Kade ignored it, grabbed clothes for himself, and went to shower.
As the water streamed over him, he looked at his chest. There were no marks, but he couldn’t shake the memory of what he’d seen in the clearing. The orange glow on his skin, sinuous swirls like the patterns he’d traced on Liam’s arm. Graceful swooping curves that were thicker and more intricate than the elegant spiraling lines of Elijah’s tattoos.
They were invisible now, but he swore he felt them—a pleasant heat under his skin. The magical tether that connected him to Liam.
Better not get used to it, he reminded himself, then finished showering. It wasn’t his to keep, not this time.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, Liam was sitting in the chair, reading on his phone.
And like too often when he was around Liam, Kade had no idea what to say, but it was almost dinnertime, so they should head downstairs.
Kade tried to leash his instincts. It felt unnatural to smother that part of himself, but that was what he had to do.
He led Liam away from their private sanctuary. His hands twitched with the need to drag Liam back inside the bedroom and not let him leave until Kade’s wolf was satisfied that Liam knew they were meant to be together.
Victor eyed him as they entered the dining room. Kade read his concern, but he shook his head. He’d handle dinner. Liam wasn’t his. Screw what his wolf thought.
The pack would judge him, but it couldn’t be any more awkward than having food brought to his room so he could sit in silence with Liam while he struggled to find things to talk about for the rest of the evening.
Victor slid into the seat Kade had come to think of as Elijah’s, and Elijah sat to his right without comment.
Kade blinked, then exhaled, his shoulders lowering. With the chair at the head of the table empty, he could put himself between Liam and the pack, no one on Liam’s other side. It was as big of a buffer as he’d get, but he was grateful for that concession.
Aran and Miles, freshly arrived with a suitcase for Liam, sat in the two seats to Elijah’s right. Kade gestured for Liam to take the chair opposite Victor.
After Kade sat, he realized the seating arrangement was as far as his pack’s courtesy stretched. He’d figured Victor had explained the situation, but when they began to pass around dishes, an older pack member tsked at him.
“You of all people should know it’s too early for you to be out of bed,” Marcia said.
The pack didn’t stifle their chuckles. Victor opened his mouth, but Kade could handle his own mess.
“It’s not like that. It’s temporary.”
Frowns appeared around the table, and glances were exchanged. Their pack didn’t do transactional bonds.
Liam’s presence lingered in his mind, a buzz of emotions, nothing distinguishable, nothing like he’d be feeling if this were a true bond.
Marcia and a few other members started to speak, but Victor cut in.
“This is a lovely meal, Katrina.” A hint of power colored his tone, the warning subtle but clear.
The pack played along, complimenting the food and letting the subject drop. For now. Kade wasn’t lucky enough for that to be the end of it.
Elijah looked at Victor, some unspoken question in his gaze, and Kade knew they’d be discussing it later. Discussing him, them, later. Victor would tell Elijah how their incompatibility was written in their scents, how Kade was the first member of their pack to bond a mage when it wasn’t true.
Maybe that was another good thing about his faulty sense of smell. He wouldn’t get a constant olfactory reminder of his mistake.
After he’d confirmed that Liam was tucking into a full plate, he took a bite from his own, then suppressed a grimace at the bland, tasteless food. He concentrated on the textures instead, but it wasn’t the same.
Across the table, Katrina’s son, Oliver, was sitting next to Miles, more focused on the mage than the food he was shoveling into his mouth with a gusto Kade envied.
“You smell funnier than Elijah does,” Oliver declared, and Katrina sighed.
“Oliver, we’ve talked about this.”
“But he does, Momma! Elijah smells like Alpha and only makes my nose itch a little.”
“No worries.” Miles’s eyes sparkled with laughter. “We know how we smell to shifters.”
“See, Momma. He knows he smells weird.” That settled, Oliver squinted up at Miles. “Elijah built a wall in my head . Can you build a wall in my head?”
Miles shot a look at Elijah.
“It was a spell to try to protect them from the spirit.”
“Ah.” Miles turned back to Oliver. “No, Elijah is much better at that than I am.”
“Then can you make dirt move under my feet? Elijah can make dirt move under my feet.”
“Nope, not that either.”
“Elijah can do a lot more than you can.”
“He can, actually.” Miles laughed. “But there are things I can do that he can’t.”
Oliver looked skeptical. “Like what?”
Miles pointed to the steam floating up from a serving dish of beef stew. “See that? Watch.”
His brown eyes took on a faint blue glow as he stared at the steam. It coalesced, twisting around itself until it formed a hummingbird and fluttered over the table, then flew off, fading as it went.
“ Oooh .” Oliver leaned forward to look at Elijah. “Can you do that?”
“Not with air,” Elijah said.
Oliver considered this, but as he sat back, his gaze caught on Aran. “What can you do?”
Aran eyed Oliver’s plate. “You going to eat those lima beans?”
“Momma will make me.” Oliver wrinkled his nose.
“Can I have one?”
“You can have them all.” He pushed his plate toward Aran. Miles obliged by passing it over.
Aran plucked a bean off the plate before Miles set it back in front of Oliver.
“He can take more,” Oliver hissed.
“I only need one,” Aran said. “I don’t want your mom angry at me.”
He enclosed the bean in his fist. Green filled his tattoos, and then he opened his hand to reveal a tiny, sprouted plant.
“You make more vegetables?” Oliver asked. Words would never do justice to the pure horror on his face, and Kade grinned. He would have agreed as a kid.
Aran laughed. “Yep. That’s my main talent. I’m particularly good with eggp—”
With zero subtlety, Elijah punched him in the side.
“Certain species of the nightshade family.” Aran gave Elijah a flat look.
Kade snorted. He took another bite without thinking and grimaced.
“Still not tasting anything?” Victor asked, catching Kade’s slip-up.
Kade shook his head, and Elijah sat up straighter.
“Oh, right. With everything going on, I forgot. Miles, could you check Kade over? His senses are a bit messed up.”
Miles’s attention immediately snapped to Kade. “May I?”
Kade shrugged.
Miles stood and took a step to his left, then paused before taking the long way around. It was a little thing, but Kade appreciated it.
He pushed out his chair, but Miles motioned for him to remain seated.
“Is it okay if I touch you?”
“Go for it.”
Miles cupped Kade’s face. Kade’s heartbeat ratcheted up with nerves almost everyone at the table could hear.
Miles’s eyes glowed blue again as they stayed trained on Kade, though he wasn’t looking at Kade; he was looking into him.
He inhaled. “ Oh . That’s… Huh. I’ve never seen that before. Here. Let me…”
A tingling swept over Kade, making his nose twitch as it washed through his sinuses and into his brain. It was the oddest feeling—not painful, but nothing Kade cared to experience again. He took a deep breath through his nose, getting a whiff of non-pack magic that nearly made him sneeze, and then the world was scentless again.
“That spirit did a number on your senses,” Miles said. “The pathways are already regrowing though. I’m not positive how your shifter healing will affect the timeline, but I’d give it two or three more days before your senses of smell and taste return. I gave it a boost, but it’s better if things grow naturally, even if it does take some time to develop properly.”
“Thank you.”
As Miles walked back to his chair, Kade felt overly self-conscious as he took his next bite, like everyone was watching how he’d react. For a moment, he thought he might be tasting something, but then it was gone.
An instant cure had been too much to hope for. At least Miles seemed certain he’d recover.
The remainder of the meal consisted of small talk and pleasantries, with Kade growing progressively more restless. The pack went out of their way to include the mages in their conversation, and Kade learned more about Liam in that single dinner than he had during the car ride or in the forest.
It was nonsensical how much he was bothered by people talking to Liam and asking him about his family—his mom, dad, and three younger siblings. But Liam seemed genuinely happy telling them how they’d moved from Louisiana to the suburbs of Seattle, where he’d met Elijah as a preteen. They’d gone to the same elementary school and studied magic together in the afternoons.
Liam and Elijah traded conspiratorial looks, and Kade wondered what kind of trouble they’d gotten into as kids.
They’d met Aran and Miles while they were apprentices in Seattle, with Liam and Elijah learning under the same mage, and Aran and Miles working with nearby teachers.
Kade would have enjoyed the flowing discussion and banter if it had been any other time, but as it was, he had to consciously keep himself from bouncing his leg with the urge to get Liam out of there.
For as torturous as the dinner was, he also wasn’t ready to go to bed with Liam. In the least fun way imaginable.
After dinner, they saw Aran and Miles to the door.
“We packed your things, but left the books at the shop,” Miles said as they passed the suitcase they’d brought.
Liam frowned.
“Should we have brought them? We figured if they were at the shop, we could do research in the evenings.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s fine.” Liam waved them off.
It was fine? Really? It seemed inconsiderate to Kade. Why wouldn’t they have brought Liam’s books? He shouldn’t be without them; even Kade knew that much.
But if Liam said it was fine, who was he to argue?
They exchanged goodbyes, and Kade carried the bag upstairs despite Liam’s protests that he could do it. But Liam was a guest. He should be taken care of.
Once they were in the room, Liam rubbed a hand across his five o’clock shadow, and Kade’s wolf wanted Kade to copy the movement, to slide his hand along Liam’s sharp jaw.
“So…” Liam said. “Right or left?”
“Left.” It was closer to the door.
Liam glanced at the window, a cool breeze blowing inside. “Do you always have that open?”
“I prefer it that way.” That wasn’t answering the question, but that was all Kade was willing to divulge.
Liam scrutinized him before saying, “Okay. We’ll leave it open.”
They got ready and into bed, then turned off the lights.
And lay there, staring into the darkness, the silence falling over them with suffocating thickness.
His wolf unhelpfully suggested they pull Liam close, but Kade would not be doing that.
After half of forever had passed, Liam’s breathing changed, a deliberate slowing, a measured count, and then he was asleep.
Kade wished he could do the same. It was much longer before he fell asleep as well.
Fuck, this scent was perfect. Kade pressed his nose against skin, his arms wrapping tighter around the body he was spooning. That body snuggled back, melting into him, and he rolled his hips, his morning semi waking faster than his mind. He ground against that warmth, loving the sleepy little moan it caused.
A flood of emotions rushed into him—arousal, followed by groggy disorientation and confusion—and it stopped Kade cold, his brain coming back online.
He was wrapped around Liam, his erection pressed into Liam’s ass. It felt so fucking good. Without looking, he knew Liam was as hard as he was; he sensed it. Sensed the aching need.
Kade inhaled. Everything was blank. Hadn’t he been—
No, that must have been a dream. He tried to recall what he’d been dreaming about, what scent he’d been smelling, but that was gone too.
Mustering all his willpower, he peeled himself off Liam and flopped onto his back, putting distance between them. He groaned, his dick protesting his decision to be gentlemanly.
In a million years, he never would have imagined himself thinking fondly of the days his libido had been nonexistent, but he shouldn’t have been surprised it had returned to top form in time for him to wake up with his cock digging into Liam’s ass like it was aiming to live there permanently.
Liam rolled onto his back as well and cleared his throat, glancing over. “So. Want some help with that?”
Kade really did. Images ran through his mind of all the dirty things he could do to Liam, all the dirty things Liam could do to him.
But he couldn’t with this sham of a bond.
“Not gonna lie, that’s a tempting offer, but it isn’t a good idea.”
He swore a thread of disappointment wormed through their bond.
“Anytime we have sex,” he explained before Liam could ask, “it risks deepening the bond. It’s part of why newly bonded pairs often spend the first few weeks in bed. Usually, the more sex a couple has, the deeper the bond becomes, assuming there are emotions involved. Which makes the sex feel better, so then they have even more sex. It’s a truly vicious cycle. But that makes the bond more difficult to sever.”
“Difficult how?”
“I’ve never done this before, obviously, but I’ve heard the worst thing you can do to a bonded pair is force them to sever their bond. The deeper the bond, the more painful it is to remove. But if we keep it shallow and not reaffirmed, it shouldn’t be horrible.”
Liam squinted at him, clearly confused. “When Elijah was having trouble with his magic because of his pseudo-bond with Victor, I researched how bonds were severed, but there was nothing about it being exceptionally painful.”
“It might not be for mages, but for shifters, it can be like losing a limb. Like half of you has been ripped away. There are stories of shifters going insane from it, but it’s not something we talk about outside of shifter circles, and like I said, it doesn’t sound as bad for transactional bonds. Honestly, true or transactional, bonds are rarely severed. I’d just rather not risk strengthening the bond with three weeks of what would doubtlessly be very enjoyable sex.”
“That makes sense. So no sex, huh?” Liam actually did sound disappointed. “When you said sex with a shifter is life-changing, I didn’t think you meant like this.”
Kade chuckled and rolled out of bed. “Neither did I. I’m going to take the coldest shower in history unless you need in there.”
“I’m good.”
Kade headed into the bathroom, thankful for the distance it put between them this time.
Waking up pressed against Liam with the remnants of his dream floating around him was messing with his head, and staying in bed wasn’t doing his cock any favors. For all his talk about the reasons they shouldn’t have sex, it hadn’t flagged in the slightest.
He stripped and jumped into the shower, cranking the water to frigid, but it didn’t do anything to kill his arousal.
“Seriously?” He glared at his dick. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but could you go back to being down for the count?”
Groaning, he adjusted the water to a more comfortable temperature and wrapped a hand around himself.
His wolf whispered that he was being an idiot. Liam was right outside. They didn’t need to be doing this alone. Liam had offered, and fuck, it had felt amazing to grind against his ass.
Kade focused on that, focused on how it had felt to be inside him, how perfect and tight he’d been, how he’d wanted to hold Liam against him as they rocked together until they both got off. The thought of it had his stomach clenching and his toes curling.
It didn’t take much to come, but it left him decidedly unsatisfied, like he hadn’t begun to scratch the itch.
Grumbling to himself, he got out of the shower and toweled himself dry, pulling on jeans and a t-shirt before exiting the bathroom.
The room was quiet. Liam was sitting against the headboard, his legs drawn up, his cheeks flushed, his hands gripping his knees.
It hit Kade how stupid he’d just been.
Of course Liam had felt that. They might not have a true bond, but arousal was strong enough to register through even a transactional one.
The need in his mind became clearer. It wasn’t Kade’s dissatisfaction; it was Liam’s. Liam needing to get off because he’d had a front-row seat to Kade’s orgasm.
“Oh fuck .” Kade winced. “I didn’t think that through. I’m so s—”
“It’s fine. And apologies in advance for this too!” Liam sprinted past him, shutting the door behind him. The water was on a moment later, and that need blazed like a bonfire. It was all Kade could do not to bust down the bathroom door, to invade the shower. To fall to his knees and get his mate off, because Liam needed to come, and Kade wanted to get him there, to make sure he was satisfied and his desires were fulfilled in every way possible.
But he didn’t. No matter how easily he could picture it, or how this was a whole new kind of torture.
Could he fuck this up any more? Even with as distracted as he was, even with this faint bond, Liam was there, hot and throbbing with pent-up need.
Kade gripped his dresser, the wood creaking under his fingertips. He was already hardening in his pants again, his body buzzing with the pleasure coursing through Liam, with how close Liam was to coming, but he wasn’t going to touch himself.
When Liam did come, Kade almost fell over the edge with him.
This was his punishment. He’d made Liam sit through his orgasm, so it was only fair he sat through Liam’s. After everything that had happened recently, he deserved a few weeks’ worth of blue balls. Probably more.
Liam spent longer in the shower than could be expected for a guy with a buzz cut. He was avoiding Kade. Not that Kade could blame him. But that extra time allowed him to cool off.
How he would survive three weeks without jerking off, he didn’t know. He was used to regular orgasms; he hadn’t gone that long without one in his entire adult life.
And fuck , the full moon was coming up. Wonderful.
But he’d manage; he’d deal with it. He wouldn’t make this more awkward for Liam than it had to be.
When Liam came out, they stood there, not meeting each other’s eyes.
“Well,” Kade said, forcing himself to look at Liam, “this’ll be a fun couple of weeks.”
Liam huffed. He was scrubbed clean; the scent of soap had to be heavy on his skin.
There was no reason for that to bother Kade. He couldn’t smell Liam, so why did he care? Why would Liam being fresh and clean nettle him?
Whether Liam smelled like soap or like Kade, it shouldn’t cause Kade’s wolf to prowl unhappily under his skin. He didn’t need to do anything about that. To fix it. To ensure Liam was covered in his scent before they left the room.
Kade turned toward the door. As Liam seemed so fond of saying, it was fine—no problem at all.
The real issue he had to worry about was the amount of shit his pack was likely to give him once they got downstairs.
It was fine , and to prove that, he just had to walk out this door.