Chapter 6
The good and the bad come and go, spinning around in a timeless dance of life itself. Good things always come after the bad ones, and the bad times take over the good.
But how we long to stay in the good times a little longer.
Cold, heavy drops of the fall rain fell from the ashyblanket of clouds covering the clear, flawless sky.
Wild and free, they landed on top of the glass greenhouse roof deprived of the glow of the rising sun.
Ethereal drops exploded on the glass, breaking into a myriad of tiny beads.
They dripped down slowly, showing the world the nature could cry, too.
The rain was tapping out a tune on the glass of the greenhouse. It woke me up from deep slumber, but didn’t help me open my heavy eyelids. It felt like someone poured glue on them, blew some air and sealed them shut.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I lifted my head and felt a dull, persistent ache in my neck from sleeping in an odd position.
The ache spread from my neck right to my head.
My head was throbbing, like it was about to crack into two hemispheres.
My throat felt dry, like it hadn’t seen a drop of water for the longest time.
The alcohol and the early rise were modern-day tortures, designed to keep humanity from relaxing.
I tried sitting up on the couch, fighting the urge to lie back down.
Turning my head to the right, I didn’t see Justin. I saw an open bottle of water on the table .
I began rummaging through the pockets of my trench-coat.
I only wore that coat to parties. It had deep enough pockets to allow me to leave my small handbag at home, knowing I could easily lose it at a party.
I could drop on my knees before myself when I realized aspirin and charcoal tablets were still in it.
I took a sip from the bottle and guessed it was mineral water.
Perfect.
I bit down on the pills and downed them with water.
Justin entered the greenhouse, holding a plate of sandwiches.
“Breakfast?”
I took one of the sandwiches and took a bite.
“I thought you left.”
“What?”
He watched me, smiling, waiting patiently for me to swallow the food.
“I thought you left.”
“I’m a gentleman after all, and gentlemen don’t act that way.”
Still smiling, I took another bite.
He rested his elbow on the armcap and began rolling the silver ring with his thumb.
Once I was done gulping down the bottle of mineral water, thoughts about how I looked began to creep into my brain.
I took my phone and began fixing my makeup. The mascara flaked a bit. I ran my middle finger under the eyes to clean up the black specks. I untied my French braid and moved my hair to the left.
I looked up and saw he’d been watching me this entire time. My cheeks flushed with a tell-tale blush, making me look down at my phone to hide it.
No missed calls.
I got up, ready to go, and he followed me silently.
I saw a bright flash of lightning out of the corner of my eye. When I turned my head, a thunder clap caught me .
“Afraid of thunder?” Justin asked.
“No. You?”
I turned to look at him. His hair was a bit ruffled, wrinkles on his pine green sweater bringing back the memories of the odd night.
We were standing too close to each other despite the generous size of the patio.
The wooden floor creaked. He was getting closer. I was about to get on my tiptoes, but took a step back at the last second.
I didn’t want him to get in trouble because of me.
“I’m freezing. Let’s go inside.”
I looked at the door, having no courage to meet his gaze. I was afraid I’d see disappointment in them. Justin said nothing and I pulled the handle.
The house was permeated by the combined stench of vomit and alcohol. It was stuffy, and I could see how filthy the rooms were in the daylight.
We walked to the exit, watching our step.
“Oh, Zoe. Did you stay the night?”
I looked up and saw one of Oscar’s friends.
“Yes.”
“Oscar was looking for you yesterday. I think he hit the booze too hard yesterday. Kept saying your name over and over, like a maniac. He got so hammered! Picked fights with anyone he saw. We could barely calm him down.”
He chuckled, like that was a really funny joke.
“I’m going home. Tell Oscar.”
“Okay.”
I walked around him and headed for the exit.
We left the house and I worked up the guts to look at Justin. He looked groggy and a little tired. I wanted to explain everything, but he spoke first.
“My car’s parked not far from here. I’ll give you a lift. ”
I nodded.
Did he offer it just to be nice? Would he ever hang out with me after this?
We got into his worn down plum-colored pickup truck.
The car was old. The paint was peeling off in places, looking like scales.
Rust was eating away at the metal like acid, leaving an amber trace behind.
I crack was visible on the windshield. The doors screeched so loud I could swear they woke up the next-door neighbors.
Justin turned the radio on and we were off.
“Is this your car?”
“No.”
He smiled.
“I’m a shop hand at the warehouse behind the old shopping mall,” he turned to look at me, “this is my work car.”
My headache was still thumping, so I decided to roll a window down and let some crisp fresh air in.
After a short pause, Justin spoke up again.
“I answered wrong yesterday.”
“What?”
I frowned, looking at him and trying to follow what he was talking about. Justin kept looking at the road.
“You don’t want a house.”
We entered a short tunnel and the radio went silent. The car got dark.
Oscar and I became friends our freshman year.
We would hang out a lot. Then we’d stop talking altogether.
I couldn’t tell what we were to one another myself sometimes.
One thing I knew for sure, we were never a couple.
He never asked me out, and I never wanted it.
Yesterday Oscar slammed the door on our friendship for good.
Justin got it all wrong, and I didn’t clear things up. I wanted to see he still liked me yesterday. And now I could see this .
“Oscar’s not my boyfriend. We weren’t dating three years ago, and we aren’t dating now. There has never been, nor will there ever be anything going on between us.”
Justin turned his head to me, gave me a quick glance and turned back to watch the road.
“Alright.”
I saw the corners of his lips perk up and my heart skipped a beat.
I remember Justin and the party perfectly fine.
It was hard not to notice him our freshman year.
You’d have to be completely blind and dumb to ignore the man’s stare lingering on you.
Or how often you’d stumble upon him, even though his classes were held at the end of another wing.
How he’d peer at you for a while. How his eyes would light up.
How all his attention is immediately drawn to you the moment you enter the room.
We exchanged glances all the time our freshman year. I thought a look back from me would be enough for him to come over and talk to me. And yet, he didn’t. And I’d never make the first move.
First you ask him out, and next thing you know you’re the one proposing to him, standing on one knee and all. That shit’s not for me.
I wanted to be conquered. I wanted to be desired.
I wanted to be dreamed of. I wanted poetry written about me.
I wanted someone to be infatuated with me.
I wanted someone to live and breathe me.
I wanted to drive someone mad. I wished to be the center of the universe for the man brave enough to let me into his mind and heart.
So I set my feelings for him aside and went on with my life like nothing happened.
Justin parked his car at the university entrance. We got out and met in front of the truck.
We looked at one another and smiled, like we’d just had the best night of our lives.
“Thanks for giving me a ride. ”
“Thanks for keeping me company.”
“Will you say yes if I ask you on a date?”
“Yes.”
“I haven’t asked yet.”
“Yep.”
We broke into laughter.
“Now you’ll be wondering if I said yes because you asked me or because I wanted to myself.”
“Damn it.”
He slammed his hand on the hood dramatically.
“Now I’ll never know the truth.”
“Close your eyes.”
He smirked.
Once his eyes were closed, I began walking backwards slowly, getting further and further away.
“I hope you’re not gonna run away while I’m standing here with my eyes closed.”
I pursed my lips, holding back a laugh. It seemed like a great idea at the time to do our first encounter over and disappear from his field of view, to see what he’d do.
He opened his eyes and I ran.
I squealed when he grabbed me from behind, lifting me up.
He put me down, and I turned to face him. His palms rested on my waist. His eyes of aquamarine blue sparkled in the daylight. I could feel his hands slide up and down my waist. I locked my arms around his neck.
His lips came closer to mine as he whispered,
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yes,” I exhaled.
His lips met mine. He pulled me flush against him. Our bodies felt each other’s warmth through our clothes. I ran my hand through his hair. I wanted the kiss to get deeper. I wanted our tongues to intertwine, but he kept kissing me softly, gently, like it was our very first kiss.
We broke the kiss, and I rested my hands on his cheeks as he closed his eyes.
“Your lips are so soft, I never want to let them go.”
His lips locked with mine as we melted into the kiss. His left hand began caressing my neck.
I realized we were making out in the parking lot by the main entrance to the university. I didn’t want any of the professors to see us, so I pulled back and touched my forehead to his.
“I want to love you.”
He was breathing heavily.
I gave him a peck on the lips.
“Does that mean yes?”
“Yes.”