Chapter Forty-Six
My chest pounded as I rang him up and quietly prayed for it to go to voicemail.
I let out a breath once his recorded voice kicked in.
I wanted to play the greeting on repeat to fall asleep to.
At the beep, I considered hanging up—but he’d know I had called.
I sucked down my second guesses and talked.
“Max. Hey. Thank you for the message. It was really sweet.” I tucked Freddie closer to me, my hand running over his back. “I got the flowers too. Did you…”
Someone else probably sent the food. A delivery driver from Hidden Moon showed up the night before with all of my favorites.
I barely ate any of it, but Gwen packed it away in the fridge, and I had leftovers for a few days at least. It’s something he would do, but the driver didn’t know who placed the order.
“I remember that night you mentioned.” I sniffled, recalling how happy my mom was to go see Max and his shows. Bringing the hotel guests was my idea, and it became a tradition. “She always loved you, you know. She was so proud of you.”
I took a deep breath to stop myself from losing it.
“About you coming out here…I don’t think I could handle that right now.
” I kept my reasoning vague, because I knew that if I told Max how I was doing, he’d hop on the first flight out here.
Even after years of not talking, I heard the determination in his voice.
And as much as I wanted him here, I couldn’t bear him comforting me only to leave again.
My world was already falling apart—I didn’t want it to fall apart further.
But funerals are for the living, and I couldn’t deny him the chance to share his memories of her.
“Could you just…I don’t know. I’d love it if you talked about Mom more. Maybe you could call and tell me more stories. And I wanna hear how you’re doing, too. I’m—you know, I’m hanging in there. Anyway, I need to go. Thanks again. Bye, Max.”
Maybe I suggested too much. But my emotions were too raw, and even though I shouldn’t have, I wanted to hear his voice again. I needed that small comfort.