Chapter 32
Kairo~
I was waiting by the tree, my heart in my throat, my lungs refusing to work. After Triana’s release had made the headlines, I had left countless text messages and voicemails, begging her to meet me, and two days later, I had finally received a text back, agreeing to see me.
This also wasn’t about taking credit for getting her home.
When my father had called Benicio Cortez to tell him about the ‘rumor’ that he’d heard, Benicio had been quick to take advantage of the situation.
With the world viewing the RNA as if the country was without any redeeming qualities, Triana getting arrested had presented the perfect opportunity for the RNA to play the victim and garner some sympathy from other nations.
Mexico was going to look like the bad guy here, and rightfully so. At least, in this situation.
So, after Triana’s release had made headlines, my father had called me to inform me that she’d be heading home and nothing more.
In order for Benicio Cortez to milk this for all that he could, it wouldn’t serve his agenda to have Triana arrested for trying to flee the RNA.
So, if only for political reasons, she was free to move on with her life, and while I couldn’t be happier for her, if she moved on without me, I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to handle that.
When I finally heard the familiar sounds of her footsteps echoing through the foliage, I looked over to see Triana walking towards the cherry blossom tree, dressed like a celebrity that was doing everything that she could to hide from the paparazzi, which I could hardly blame her.
Right now, she was the biggest story in the world, and I could only imagine the barrage of public scrutiny that she was suffering from the press.
Nevertheless, the dark jeans, t-shirt, jacket, and baseball cap did nothing to distract from that stunning face of hers, and my chest felt like my lungs were never going to work again. In fact, I felt lightheaded from just the sight of her, knowing that I had let her down in the worst way.
As soon as she was next to the tree, she said, “You have to quit calling and texting me.”
It hurt to hear that, but I’d been expecting as much. “If that’s what you really want, then why haven’t you blocked me yet?”
“Because I know that your father called Benicio Cortez on my behalf, and so I didn’t want to block you just yet,” she answered brutally.
“On the off chance that I need to speak with him to get our stories straight, I thought it’d be best to still be able to get a hold of him, even if it’s through you. ”
“Baby, I’m so fucking sorry-”
She put her hand up to stop me, and I wisely shut my mouth. Whatever she was owed, I was more than willing to pay it, and that included holding my tongue, so that she could get all of her hurt and frustration off her chest.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I think that the apologies are pointless when we were both wrong,” she said.
“No, I’m the one who was in the wrong here-”
“Yes, you are,” she agreed. “But you’re not the only one. We were both in the wrong the second that we came back here after that first day, and I can own that.”
“So, is this the part where you tell me that these past few weeks were a mistake?” I asked through clenched teeth, doing my best to take the hits that I deserved, but really fucking struggling.
“Yes,” she replied evenly, and if I could have anything in the world right now, it’d be a do-over.
“No, they weren’t,” I argued. “Except for me not being honest with you about Mexico, nothing about us was a mistake.”
“Everything about us was a mistake,” she countered. “I mean, what had we’d been thinking? To meet here for the rest of our lives like idiots?”
“No,” I replied firmly. “I planned on filling out the petition-”
“Again, was the plan to meet here for the rest of our lives?” she retorted. “Because you and I both know that no petitions are ever approved, especially one entered by you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re not some regular person, Kairo,” she said.
“You’re Alvin Booker’s son, and you’re more delusional than I ever was if you believe that your father would have ever allowed you to leave Sterling Acres to chase love.
All the other Administrators would have turned on him the second that the petition had been filed.
I mean, how would it look to have one of the Administrators’ children publicly disagree with the way of life that they’ve convinced us is perfect? ”
“Not if it was done legally,” I argued, but it was a weak argument; she was right.
“Look, none of that matters now, Kairo,” she said, sounding tired and over it all. “With everything that’s happened, it’s impossible to go back. Plus, you made it very clear that your life is a perfect one and that you’re not in need of anything more. So, what are you doing here?”
“I need you,” I told her fiercely. “I need you, and that’s more important than the perfect life that I thought I had.”
“Well, even if I were stupid enough to forgive the mess that we’ve made, the facts are still as they’ve always been, Kairo,” she said. “We can’t be together, and I’m done trying to convince myself otherwise. I stopped deluding myself my first night in a Mexican jail cell.”
I shook my head. “This can’t be it, Triana. Yeah, I fucked up, and I’m going to regret that for the rest of my life, but I love you. I love you, and I’m not ready to just give up on us. I’ll never be ready to give up on us.”
“While those words would have been music to my ears once, I’m not interested in risking any more of myself for a liar, Kairo,” she replied coldly. “And I sure as hell am not going to put myself out there for a man who doesn’t take me seriously.”
Though it was hard as fuck, I did my best not to just fucking deflate, and I really didn’t know what to fucking say.
I had let her down, and there was no getting around that, and there really was no defending it.
Instead of taking her seriously and speaking to her honestly, I had humored her, losing her trust in the process.
Plus, what woman wanted to be with a man that she couldn’t trust to come to her rescue if needed?
So, rather than argue a point that I couldn’t win, I said, “I’m not giving up on us.”
“You’re wasting your time, Kairo,” she said, her voice still sounding tired. “I’m done.”
“Well, you can be done, but I’m not,” I said, desperation gripping my heart. “I’m going to do whatever I need to do in order to make this happen.”
Triana let out a deep breath before saying, “Unless your father needs to speak to me about something, quit calling and texting me. While your life is just as great as it was before you met me, I still have no job, no plans for my future, and my parents have not reached out to me once since I got back home. So, my life is still the mess that it was when I wanted to leave, and frankly, I’ve got more important things to deal with right now. ”
Even though I wasn’t trying to make this all about me, she made it sound like I was being a selfish asshole, and maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t the good guy that I’d always thought myself. Maybe I really was just an entitled prick, and this was my comeuppance, long overdue.
“I know what you want me to say,” I told her. “I know that you want me to say that I’m going to walk away, but the last thing that I’m ever going to do is lie to you again, Triana. I’m not going to let this thing go, and not for myself. I’m not going to let it go because of you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” I said. “Despite how things turned out, your dream of a different life didn’t suddenly die with your arrest. Your dream of wanting something more didn’t disappear just because you made it safely back home.
You still want a freedom that you were willing to die for, and I’m going to get it for you. ”
Triana let out a hollow laugh. “And how exactly do you plan on doing that?”
“I don’t know yet,” I admitted. “But that doesn’t mean that I can’t find a way to make that happen for you.”
“In return for what?” she asked, her voice practically a sneer of disgust.
“A second chance,” I answered truthfully. “For a second chance to prove to you that I’m a better man than what I’ve shown you.”
“My dream is to be happy, Kairo,” she replied. “And I just can’t see that happening with you anymore.”
“Well, I’m going to change your mind,” I insisted. “I’m going to fucking change your mind.”
“Good luck with that,” she retorted before turning to leave, and panic gripped me brutally, the fear of never seeing her again making it hard to breath.
“I love you,” I said, making sure to say it loud enough that she could hear me. “I’ll always love you, baby.”
She didn’t say it back, but I hadn’t been expecting her to, no matter how much I’d been hoping that she’d forgive me. Nevertheless, while she sounded like she was done with me, I wasn’t about to give up on us just yet, if ever.