Chapter 37
Triana~
I still loved Kairo, and that was the problem.
Three months later, I still love the man, and blocking him from being able to get a hold of me had been the only way that I had managed to stay strong all these months.
Of course, trying to find a job and sell my house had helped keep me occupied, but none of that changed the fact that I was still in love with Kairo Booker, and I wasn’t sure just how much more I could take.
So, after leaving Kairo at the creek, I had gotten home, then had immediately called Sonia and Tomasco to come over, not worried at all about telling them government secrets. They’d never do anything to hurt me, and so I knew that they’d never say anything about what I’d told them.
“Jesus Christ,” Tomasco muttered after I’d told them everything. “Politicians really are nothing but a bunch of self-serving assholes.”
“Yeah, I mean...I’ve never heard of any of them getting caught up in any immoral scandals, but behind closed doors, they really do seem like a bunch of closeted hypocrites,” Sonia chimed in.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think that the lottery is a great idea, but for the first applicants to be a political PR scam is just... dirty.”
“Amen,” Tomasco muttered, making me laugh with just how honest they both were.
“Yeah, well...that’s why they say to never trust a politician,” I chuckled.
“So, what are you going to do?” Tomasco asked.
My brows immediately furrowed. “About what?”
“About the lottery? Duh,” he retorted.
“Nothing,” I answered. “I’m going to Hillrom with you two idiots.”
My brother and Sonia exchanged a quick glance, and that had me immediately on alert before Sonia asked, “Why?”
I looked back and forth between the two. “What do you mean, why?”
“Triana, this is everything that you’ve ever wanted,” she said. “Why would you pass this up?”
“Because I’m not leaving you and Tomasco,” I answered, wondering what in the hell was going on. “You guys have rearranged your lives to help make my dreams come true in Hillrom, and if you think that I’m going to just...just...just leave you guys behind, you’re crazy.”
“Who are you leaving behind?” Tomasco asked. “It’s not my dream to leave Rancher Hills.” He looked over at Sonia. “Is it yours?”
Sonia immediately shook her head. “Nope.”
“Then who are you leaving behind?” Tomasco repeated.
What?
“You guys are moving to Hillrom for me,” I reminded them. “How do you expect me to not go with you guys when I’m the reason that we’re moving in the first place.”
“I’ve already told you, you’re not the reason,” Tomasco said.
“You’re the inspiration that we needed to do something different with our lives, Triana.
However, with you here, in Blooming Heights, or in damn Mexico, I still wouldn’t stay here near Mom and Dad.
You’re not the only one who needs a fresh start after the shit that they pulled. ”
“But-”
“You also act like Hillrom is the end of the road for us,” Sonia added. “You act like we can’t ever come back if we don’t like it. Or, hell, move somewhere else. I’m not sure if you know how large the region is, but it’s pretty damn big. Tomasco and I could live anywhere.”
“But...the damn thing is rigged,” I pointed out, trying to appeal to their moral codes. “It’s not right.”
Tomasco shot me a look that I recognized well. “You were about to cross the border into Mexico illegally, then live out the rest of your life on the run in whichever country of your choosing. Do you really want to talk about people not doing the right thing?”
“Ouch,” I retorted.
“Well, the man’s not wrong,” Sonia quipped. “I think that you’re looking for an excuse not to forgive Kairo because he hurt you badly enough not to ever want to chance it again.”
I had nothing to say to that.
“Little do you know that not forgiving him isn’t the win that you think it is,” she went on.
“I mean, if you can see yourself happy without him in due time, then I’d be the first one urging you to tell that man to go eat a bag of dicks, but since that’s not the case, who are you really punishing here? ”
“Sonia’s right, and you know that those are words I never like to say,” Tomasco drawled out. “Being unhappy for the rest of your life is not a win, Triana. Neither is settling for a man that you can’t ever really love because Kairo Booker will always have a piece of your heart.”
“But-”
“And do not tell me that you’re not crazy in love with the man because I won’t believe you,” he went on.
“I mean, for fuck’s sakes, you broke the law for him and were more than willing to spend the rest of your life hiding from immigration with him.
So, don’t try to convince me that it was just a passing fancy or that you no longer love the man. ”
“I’m with Tomasco on this one,” Sonia said.
“Except for his snarky remarks, he’s not wrong, Triana.
We both know you well enough to know that Kairo Booker means more to you than you want him to, and if you still love him after three months of no-contact, then you’d be crazy to ignore that in favor of pride or stubbornness. ”
“Sonia and I will be fine,” Tomasco said, doing his best to assure me that whatever decision I made would be fine with them. “Yeah, we might want to kill each other after a week of living together, but I don’t plan on mooching off of her for long. My house already sold, remember?”
“I just...when I was desperate and felt like my life was falling apart, leaving had felt like my best option,” I explained.
“But now I know better. In fact, it was Kairo who told me that running away wasn’t the answer to anything.
He’s the one who told me that life is what you make of it, and there are always better options to running away from your problems.”
“But is it still running?” Tomasco posed. “Is it still running when you’ve been presented with an opportunity that will only find a fortunate few in this lifetime?”
“Triana, we were all moving to Hillrom to be happy,” Sonia said. “All of us, and if you end up falling short of that because of regret, then how do you expect us to feel about that?”
Tears burned my eyes as I said, “But now that I’m not running on nothing but emotion, I can see how much I’d be giving up.
I’ll never see you guys again. I’ll never hold my niece or nephew in my arms, and I won’t be here for your bachelorette party when the man of your dreams finally sweeps you off your feet. I...it’s not so easy anymore.”
“The greatest decisions of our lives never are, Triana,” Tomasco remarked.
“No one ever changed the world by sitting on their couch, and as much as we’ll miss you, I’d rather hear happiness in your voice whenever we talk on the phone than see the light fade from your eyes every time that I see your face. ”
“Same here,” Sonia quickly agreed. “And while I’m not a Kairo Booker fan, Christ on a cracker, the guy had his father change the state of an entire nation just to be with you, and if that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.
Hell, all I was ever looking for was a man who can make my favorite sandwich exactly like I like it. ”
“You really need to set the bar a little higher than that, Sonia,” Tomasco drawled out, making me laugh. “I mean, a sandwich?”
“Screw you,” she retorted. “I just want a man to feed me until I’m fat and happy, then still love me unconditionally as my thighs rub together.”
“You need help,” Tomasco quipped, and I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them.
“If you guys really want to see me happy, then get married, have a bunch of beautiful babies, and then name one after me,” I teased.
Sonia shot me a horrified look as Tomasco asked, “Have you lost your damn mind?”
I just grinned. “You guys would make beautiful babies together.”
“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” Sonia deadpanned.
After a few seconds of silence, I asked, “Can I think about it? I mean the application deadline is still over a week away, and the drawing isn’t until the end of the month.”
“Triana, do whatever you need to in order to make the right decision for you,” Tomasco answered. “Just don’t worry about us while you factor in all your pros and cons. We’ll be fine, no matter where we end up, and I’ll find a way to hate Kairo Booker a little less if it means that you’re happy.”
“I love you both so much,” I said, though they both already knew it. “I hope you know that. I hope that you never doubt it.”
“We know,” Sonia assured me as she reached out to squeeze my leg. “We love you, too.”
“More than anything,” Tomasco added. “We love you enough to see you through anything, sis.”
I smiled through my tears, and it was crazy how my life was about to change forever in a few days, and I had no idea how I felt about that now.