Chapter 39
Triana~
Honestly, when I had submitted my application for the citizenship lottery, I hadn’t done it for Kairo; I’d done it for myself.
With both Tomasco and Sonia’s blessings, I had chosen to see what was out there, and even though I still felt anxious about all the new changes, I was looking forward to all the new possibilities that were out there for me now.
Nevertheless, during the month that I’d been preparing to move, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tomasco and Sonia had said about me still being in love with Kairo, and truth be told, they wouldn’t let me stop thinking about it.
As we’d all helped one another get ready for all our new moves, they’d kept urging me to give him a second chance, accusing me of not being fair.
What I had asked of Kairo had been huge, and despite his feelings for me, we’d only known each other for a couple of weeks before I’d gone off the deep end.
So, after a lot of consideration, I had decided to try to make it work, and not because Kairo had wanted me to. I had decided to give us a second chance because I couldn’t deny that I still loved him every bit as much as I’d had when I had asked him to run away with me.
Regret was also a sonofabitch, and that wasn’t something that I wanted holding me back from the new life that I’d been willing to risk everything to have.
I didn’t want regret to be a weight that I couldn’t shake once I had everything else that I’d wanted in life, and no matter how hurt I’d been about Mexico, I knew that I’d regret Kairo if I hadn’t given us one more chance.
With that decision made, I had checked all flights coming in from Sterling Acres, and with there being only one, it’d been a rather simple deduction.
As for the press, it was my understanding that there was to be a press conference at the end of the week, one in which we were all expected to attend.
Still, to Kairo’s point, there was a difference between a respected journalist and unethical paparazzi.
At any rate, after Kairo had made it clear that he wanted me to stay with him, we’d taken a We-Ride to another hotel, The Four Clovers.
The other person who’d been chosen from my lottery, Luisa Ramirez, had already made arrangements for lodging, and when I had informed her that I hadn’t found a place yet, she had graciously allowed me to leave my stuff in her hotel room while I figured things out.
So, after grabbing my stuff from Luisa’s room, Kairo and I had headed over to The Lemming, and now we were setting up our stuff, getting comfortable since we didn’t know how long we were going to be here.
“I figure that we can start looking for apartments tomorrow,” he said as he unpacked. “We’ll need an address before applying for jobs.”
“That would definitely make things easier,” I said as I sat down on the second bed. “Can I ask why you got a room with two beds?”
Kairo turned, grinning. “I wanted a big room, so I figured asking for two beds would give me a little more leg room. After all, I’m six-three and need a lot of space.
“Well, with only our clothes to our names right now, we’ll need to find a furnished apartment,” I said, and whatever I’d said had been enough for Kairo’s entire demeanor to change. One minute, he’d been grinning like a loon, the next, his brows had furrowed over those bright hazel eyes of his.
I didn’t say anything as he stopped what he’d been doing, then walked over to me, sitting down on the bed next to me.
Without warning, he grabbed me by my hips, then straddled me over his lap, and I had no choice but to anchor my arms around his neck to hold on.
I also felt the need to hold on because he looked just so damn serious.
“I want to be clear about something, Triana,” he said. “I will never fail you again.”
“Kairo-”
“No, just...just hear me out,” he said, interrupting me.
“I...I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t have your back.
I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t count on me to take care of you.
While I’m more than aware that you can take care of yourself, I want you to know that I’m here if you ever need a break from being strong.
” He adjusted his hands on my hips as he added, “So, while it’s going to be a furnished apartment for right now, I’m going to get us a house, and then we’ll finally send for our stuff to decorate the place as ours. Not mine, not yours, but ours.”
“Kairo, I don’t need you to buy me a house,” I told him. “I-”
“It’s not about you needing me to buy you a house,” he said, interrupting me again. “It’s about wanting to buy you a house, Triana. It’s about how I want to make all of your dreams come true, and that includes the ones that you haven’t even dreamt up yet.”
“While I know this is ridiculous to say when you consider everything that I’ve been through these past couple of months, but my dreams are rather simple, Kairo,” I told him.
“I just want to live happily with the man that I love. I don’t want or need anything elaborate.
I just wanted the freedom to follow my heart. ”
“And how does that feel?” he asked seriously.
“It feels like there’s nowhere else that I’d rather be than in this small hotel room with you,” I answered honestly. “I feel like I’m home wherever you are. As long as I’m free to love you, then that’s where I want to be standing.”
His entire face softened as he said, “I can’t believe that I almost lost you.”
“But you didn’t,” I pointed out. “So, let’s focus on where we’re at now.”
His right hand reached up to tuck some stray strands of my hair behind my ear. “I just don’t ever want you to think that I’m taking you and this new life for granted. I’m all in, Triana. I’m all in, and I want so badly for you to believe me.”
“I do,” I assured him. “Whether you realize it or not, I do understand how big this is. Unlike the relationship with my parents, I know that your relationship with your family is a good one. I know how hard it was for you to leave behind everything that you’ve ever known to do this thing with me?”
“This thing?” he chuckled. “We have more than just a thing, Triana.”
I grinned. “I know exactly what it is that we have.”
“I just...I guess I’m just trying to find a way to deal with the guilt,” he confessed softly, making me eye him a bit.
“Well, instead of looking at it from that kind of personal viewpoint, think of it this way,” I suggested.
“Had you never been honest...had that fight never happened, then who knows what would have happened once we’d gotten to the border,” I pointed out.
“We could have both been arrested or shot dead on the spot. It could have been a huge scandal for your family, and instead of Mexico having to save face, you being who you are, who knows what the RNA would have done. Not to be too dramatic, but had we not fought, we could have started an international conflict. Instead, we’re here.
We’re here, and we’re here together, Kairo.
That’s more important than a fight that we had one night. ”
“While I appreciate how you’re trying to let me off the hook, as a man, leaving you to make your way to Mexico alone will never be okay,” he replied seriously.
“You didn’t leave me,” I argued. “I left.”
“Maybe,” he conceded. “But I shouldn’t have gone back home when I couldn’t find you. I should have kept going until I reached the border, then searched the entire length of the region until I found you.”
“Well, I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, and I’ll never regret getting lost that day at the creek,” I told him.
“I just can’t look around at where I’m at now and regret any of what happened.
I know that’s easy to say because I hadn’t been harmed physically or anything like that, but I still don’t regret any of it.
I mean...yeah, it sucks that my parents are digging their heels in, but there’s nothing that I can do about that, and I’m not going to let their rejection ruin this for me. ”
His brows furrowed a bit. “You don’t think that they’ll ever come around?”
“Honestly, no,” I sighed. “But mostly because they’ll forever blame me for Tomasco leaving them.
They’ll never accept that he made the decision on his own, and since they need someone to blame for the loss of their son, that someone will always be me.
No matter what Tomasco tells them, they won’t ever take any kind of responsibility for how things turned out. ”
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, and I knew that he meant it. Coming from someone who was close to his family, he knew how much it hurt to have a person’s family fall apart. “I really hope they come around eventually.”
I thought about that before saying, “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready for that.
Right now, the plan is to be with you forever, and if we ever have children, then they’re going to be half-Black.
If my parents can’t see past their own beliefs to accept that, then I’m not sure that they’ll ever have a place in my life after this. ”
Kairo cocked his head a bit. “Are they prejudice?”
“That’s the thing, I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Considering how restricted we lived, it wasn’t a topic that had ever come up at the dinner table. I mean, why would it need to be?”
He shook his head as he said, “And I guess that’s the difference when you come from a political family. We talked about everything under the sun at the dinner table.”
After a few seconds, I suggested, “How about we finish unpacking, then get some dinner?”
“Sounds perfect, baby,” he replied easily.