28. Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Addie
“ G irls weekend!” Isla screeches as she dashes out of the car and to the front door of our rental, bags in hand. We’re only going out of town for the weekend, but by the number of bags she packed, someone would think we were moving across the continent.
“Geez, Isla, it’s a miracle there was room for the rest of our bags,” Liz says as we hoist her bags out of the back seat of my cherry-red Bronco, since mine and Isla’s bags—well, mostly Isla’s—filled up the entirety of the back.
We rented a house near the coast because we didn’t want to go out of state. It might be a bit chilly, since it is only the beginning of May. So, swimming might be a bust, but we can still sit on the beach with a drink in our hands. There are a few local bars we can run around to get the full bachelorette weekend effect. I brought a lifetime supply of electrolytes just in case we get a little too wild.
“I’m so excited for this.” Isla claps her hands together, practically vibrating. “Work has been a shit show.” She throws her arms around mine and Liv’s shoulders the second we walk through the door. “A weekend with my girls is just the thing I need. Thank you all for doing this for me.”
“Don’t thank us yet. We have girls night out tonight, and you might not be feeling like a million bucks tomorrow morning.” Liv chuckles as Isla drops her arms and heads to the kitchen.
The house is right on the water and has the perfect coastal vibe with the colors of pastels throughout the spacious living space. The beige couch is littered with coral and blue throw pillows, and the walls are filled with nautical décor, adding to the beachy vibes.
The front window has a perfect view of the beach. Even if it ends up raining the whole time—which it isn’t forecasted to do, but you never know—we will still have a good view.
Reaching into my pocket, I slide out my phone and take a picture of the view, sending it to the family group chat. Partially for the view and partially to appease my mother, so she can know we made it safe and sound. She may still be a million miles away, but she checks in literally every day. As do my sisters. My brother lets me know he’s alive once a month, but he’s twenty-one and out there living his best life. So, I don’t hold it against him.
My attention is turned back to the kitchen, when I hear the sound of a water bottle seal being broken open. I peek back, hoping it’s Isla’s water…
Good, she’s hydrating early. My job as maid of honor is to babysit Isla. There will be no The Hangover situations happening on my watch. And no liquor for me.
After three rounds of shots at our first bar—and probably last—I have utterly failed at the no liquor rule. Here I was, thinking we would ease into the weekend, but Isla walked in and ordered all of us a round of Sex on the Beach drinks, and well, it was downhill from there.
The bar is buzzing around us, the sound of chatter fighting against the music fills the room. The description online made it sound like it would be a cozy, little joint, and it is. But because it’s slammed and there are people literally everywhere, it’s giving more of a popping club vibe.
Sitting at the table, our laughs fill the air. I look around, and maybe it’s the drinks singing through my system, but I feel so incredibly lucky that these are my friends and that I took a chance to start over.
“I’m going to the bar to get us another round!” Isla pops off her chair, which scrapes the ground as she slightly stumbles to her feet.
If I am feeling the buzz, I know she is probably on her way to the point of no return. Should I stop her? Maybe? But watching her have the time of her life, celebrating what’s to come next? We can worry about our hangovers tomorrow, while we’re dry heaving at the beach. On that note, a little water won’t hurt.
Throwing my hand in the air to get her attention, I yell, “Grab a water while you’re at it!”
“Don’t be a fun sucker, Addie,” Isla says, and I shake my head, the warmth of the alcohol pooling in my cheeks.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, and a cheeky grin finds my face when I see the name light up across the front.
You having fun? I miss you.
3 rounds of tequila shots fun. Only two more to go before I’m dancing on tabletops! ;)
If you promise to demonstrate when you get home, I can probably hold in my jealousy
Oh, I can give you a better show than these people
“Who has you smiling like that?” Isla asks, trying to peek around my shoulder. Her sudden intrusion causes me to jump. How the hell did she get back here so fast? She sets the waters down on the table and takes a seat at the empty barstool.
“Oh, um, no one. It was just a funny meme.” The lie falls off my tongue before I can figure out why I lied in the first place,
All this time here, and I’m still feeling self-conscious of her thoughts of me being with Sam. There’s still a chance this could all go wrong. Plus, I tend to be a flight risk. It’s a work in progress to not let other people’s opinion drive my life. But that’s a later me problem.
I’ll tell her soon. Maybe when I know more and make sure it’s going somewhere. Which, being that we’ve been attached at the hip since I moved into my apartment a month ago, I already know the answer to that. Honestly, I’m already in too deep with him. So, even I think that excuse sucks. Great.
But I don’t want to freak her out too much during this girls weekend. Plus, then I will be bombarded by everyone… But I probably should tell her before the wedding because she will be wondering why we’re all over each other if he decides to go. Damn. When I’m more sober, I really need to do some soul-searching and figure out why I’m being a little bitch.
“Scrolling your phone while at the bar is lame-o.” She snatches my phone from my hands and sets it down on the table. “I keep forgetting to ask you why you broke things off with Shaun?”
Damn, here I thought she was going to completely forget about him. If we’re being honest, I had until this exact second.
“We didn’t really have any chemistry. He kissed me at the end of the night, and it just felt, I don’t know?” My shoulders bunch to my ears in remembrance of the feeling. “It was just a no.” Especially comparing it to literally anything with Sam, it was just lackluster. Sam and I can sit in comfortable silence and it still feels electric.
She seems genuinely bummed. “Oh, that’s too bad. I thought you guys would have hit it off.”
Immediately, my head begins shaking, as if I’m completely repulsed by the idea. He was kind and attractive. But he just wasn’t Sam. I was still 100 percent in denial of the hardcore crush I had on him.
“Eh, not so much. I tried texting him a day after the date, too, because I wanted to give it a try, but everything just felt forced, you know?”
“Sure it has nothing to do with you and your revulsion to clean-cut, good men?” She winks at me, but the joke misses its delivery and nails me in the gut. Instead of feeling like laughing, I feel like crying.
This is the exact reason why I haven’t wanted to say anything. I’m back on my own two legs right now, but they’re shaky, and it doesn’t take a whole lot to break the confidence I’ve been working to rebuild. She’s always said stuff like this, but I never let it bug me. We give each other crap all the time, but she’s killing life right now, and it feels like I’m not. That feeling is really hard to describe: being happy for people, but feeling your heart get crushed every time someone else does what you thought you would be doing.
She’s in her own world tonight, so I give it a pass. She would never intentionally hurt my feelings, nor does she know how much these little comments get to me. It’s my fault for not voicing it, but I guess, until recently, I agreed with her. In the past, I have agreed with her. But Sam is changing that. He is changing a lot of things. He makes me feel more confident in myself.
I laugh it off. “Yeah. Enough about me. Let’s go dance!” Grabbing her hand, I turn to head to the dance floor. I need to get off this subject and shake off the icky feeling in my chest.
Liv comes from left field with another round of drinks. I didn’t even notice her get up. Between the buzz, noise, and us running around like chickens, it’s hard to keep anything straight. She presses the drinks together between her hands, and Isla and I each grab ours and sip them down. It’s hotter than Hades in here, between the dancing and all the bodies, and the ice-cold drink helps cool me down and settle out my nerves. We probably should have picked the waters that are sitting in front of us, being ignored. Maybe after this one, we can focus on hydration.
When the drinks are finished, Isla grabs our hands and heads straight for the center of people dancing around.
The night is flying by, and every worry has left my body. How I managed to completely blow past my rule of not being fucked-up is a major failure on my duty as maid of honor. Oops.
We dart around the bar randomly, reuniting with one another before finding another group to make friends with. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but the drunken smile across my face would sell this as a complete lie. We’ve had the time of our lives.
At one point, Isla disappears. Again. Searching the room, I find her talking to a different group of girls, laughing and taking pictures with them. Shaking my head, I turn back to Liv as we dance. Drunken giggles rise up in my throat. She grabs my forearms, and we do the stereotypical drunk girl dance, throwing our heads around and bouncing from foot to foot, with no beat at all. I’m sure there’s a beat somewhere in this room, but we will never find it.
“Do you wanna know a secret?” It’s bubbling inside of me, and I just have to tell someone. Liv seems safe.
Her eyes grow wide. “I love secrets. Do tell.” She squeezes my forearms, her blue eyes alight with excitement and strobe lights from the dance floor.
“But, like, you can’t tell anyone. Not even Isla.”
She shifts her stance, eyeing me questionably. I’m sure she’s wondering what big secret I could possibly be keeping from my best friend.
But she nods her head in understanding. “Wow. So, like, top secret, for real.”
“Yeah, like, super secret.”
“Okay, my lips are sealed. Spill the tea.” She motions, zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
“I think…I’m dating your brother.” My face pinches with nerves, and my body shifts slightly, ready to defend myself, just in case she doesn’t take this as happy as I hope she does.
“What?!” Her arms drop from mine, and her mouth falls open. She opens it and closes it a couple times, trying to find more words that never come. Behind the shocked face lies the tiniest smile, which makes my nerves ease.
“Yeah, well, I’m not sure what to call it.” I add on, just in case. Also, we haven’t specifically said it, but I do know I would throw hands if another girl tried to steal my man. So, that sounds like commitment to me.
“Have you slept with him?”
“Oh, yeah.” Smiling, I nod my head.
“Ew, gross.” She squishes her face. Her arms relinking with mine, she stands in front of me. “So, wait. How are you not sure if you’re dating?” She tilts her head to the side.
“Yeah, like, we haven’t talked about it, but it feels real enough to assume that’s what it is. So, for now, I’m doing that.”
She nods her head, taking in the new information. “Interesting. Why can’t Isla know?”
“Well, after the whole thing with your wedding and him not coming, she doesn’t like him. And I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.” And I am pretty sure it would make me angry to hear her say anything else about Sam. But I keep that part to myself. I’ve grown pretty protective of my big guy.
I’m not even sure why I told Liv. She gives off cool, big sister vibes, which reminds me of my sister, Sarah. And people can’t help but want to tell their sisters their deepest and darkest secrets. And I’m drunk. I think it’s more of the latter. I should get some water before I sell myself out on anything else.
“For what it’s worth, I think you guys could be really good together. Sam is great. He has always had the softest heart. It breaks mine that the way things played out ended up hardening his. You’re good for him. Happy.”
Her words of approval lift some bit of apprehension and make me glad I shared it with her. And glad that, despite his beliefs, some of his family see him as I do. Funny, kind, and caring. A bit of an ass, but I would say that I think it’s more of an act. A way to shield himself from the assholes around him.
“Thanks.”
She squeezes my arm before letting go, swaying to the beat. I look over and see Isla with a drink in her hand, dancing with a new group of random girls. I’ve always thought she was the life of the party. She’s my best friend and is impossible not to have fun with, but her solo Hawaii trip brought out a whole new side of her, and I love it.
My thoughts drift to Sam as Liv’s words settle in. She sees Sam like I do. The good. The kind. The hardworking. Maybe, just this one time, Isla is wrong and I am right. Sam has shown up for me every time I needed someone. No strings attached. He doesn’t judge me for my failures, and only reminds me of who I am—who I was before my world got flipped upside down. A life with Sam sounds better with each day that passes.
My mind gets pulled back to where we are, as Liv drags me along to make our way to Isla. We get lost in the beat and shuffling of bodies around us. Girlish giggles wiggle their way up our throats. The night gets blurrier, and our smiles get wider. For the first time all year, I think I’m starting to get things back into perspective.