Chapter 10 #2
Her face grew tight. “For you?” She shook her head. “Because it wasn’t enough for me. And you made that decision for both of us.”
He closed his eyes. “I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Her voice cracked once more. “Do you know how many times I wondered what was wrong with me?”
Owen opened his eyes, his stomach plummeting. Cyn had turned away, wrapping her arms around herself.
“I thought you’d stopped wanting me. I thought maybe I’d changed after Callum was born. Maybe I’d put on weight. Maybe I wasn’t exciting anymore.”
The words landed like blows.
“Cyn—”
“I blamed myself. Every time you turned away. Every time you kissed me goodnight instead of making love to me. Every time I reached for you and you were tired. I thought I’d done something wrong.”
His vision blurred. “You never did.”
“I know that now.” She turned enough for him to see the tears spilling down her cheeks. “But I didn’t know it then.” She looked at him, her chin trembling, the colour drained from her face. “You should have trusted me with the truth.”
“I know.”
“You should have told me before we got married.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“Before we had Callum.”
A long silence settled between them. When she finally spoke again, her voice was almost a whisper.
“I don’t regret Callum.”
“Neither do I.”
“But I deserved the chance to choose this life for myself.”
The words found the one place he’d spent fifteen years trying not to look.
“Yes,” he whispered. “You did.”
He slipped his wedding ring from his finger. It suddenly felt far heavier than gold had any right to. He laid it on the worktop between them.
Neither of them reached for it.
“I’m sorry.”
She stared at the ring for a very long time.
“So am I.”
2026
Matt didn’t speak.
He couldn’t.
The food sat forgotten between them, the warmth long since gone from the cartons.
He’d expected heartbreak.
He hadn’t expected that.
He’d imagined Owen coming out would be the moment he’d finally admitted who he was.
Instead, it had been the moment he’d admitted what he’d done to the person he loved most.
Matt gazed across the table. Owen wasn’t looking at him. His eyes rested on nothing in particular, as though he’d drifted back to that kitchen fifteen years earlier.
At last, Owen raised his head and gave Matt a small smile. “I’ve only ever trusted one other person with all of that.”
Matt knew who that was in a heartbeat. “Ben.”
“Yeah.”
“When did you tell him?”
“The night we met.”
Matt blinked. “Seriously?”
“I remember thinking, ‘This is the point where he walks away.’ Instead, he reached across the table and took my hand.”
“And?”
Owen’s eyes become distant. “He said, ‘You’ve spent almost twenty years punishing yourself. I’m not going to help you keep doing that.’”
Matt said nothing.
“He told me I couldn’t change what I’d done, but I could decide what kind of man I wanted to be for the rest of my life.” Owen swallowed. “I asked him if he thought Cyn could ever forgive me.”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘I don’t know. But you don’t get to decide she won’t.’” He sighed. “So yes, you’re in a tiny minority. Other people know I was married. They know I came out later in life.” A sad smile touched his lips. “Most people stop there.”
Silence settled again, and Matt found himself thinking about Cyn, about how she’d laughed with Owen only days before, teasing him about university. About how easy they’d been together.
She forgave him.
Not because what Owen had done hadn’t hurt, but because she’d eventually understood why.
That somehow made the whole thing even sadder.
He looked back at Owen. “You really did love her.”
“With everything I had.” Owen met his eyes. “It just wasn’t everything I was.”
The words settled over Matt like a blanket. For the first time, all the pieces he’d been trying to force together finally clicked into place.
Owen hadn’t gone from loving a woman to loving a man. He’d always been the same man. He’d simply spent years trying to be someone else.
Matt’s chest tightened. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone explain it like that.”
Owen gave a weary shrug. “I wish I’d found the words sooner.”
“So my parents don’t know any of it?”
He shook his head. “They only discovered the other day that Cyn and I had married, we’d had Callum, we divorced, I came out…” He huffed. “Quite a lot of information to digest.”
“That must have been one hell of a shock. Except now they have the story backwards. Mum’s been trying to make sense of it ever since she found out.”
Owen didn’t answer.
Matt tilted his head. “Maybe she doesn’t need every detail, but I think she’d understand you a lot better if she knew the truth.” He met Owen’s gaze. “You’ve finally let me understand you. Maybe the people who loved you all those years ago deserve the same chance.”
Owen sat very still. “You really think so?”
“I do.”
Silence settled between them.
At last Owen gave a slow nod. “Maybe… maybe it is time.”
Matt glanced at the small clock on the sideboard. “Mum and Dad should be done with dinner by now.”
Owen followed his gaze. “So if I went over now…”
“I think they’d be pleased to see you.”
He let out a long breath. “Then I’d better stop putting it off.”
Matt smiled. “Go.” He gestured towards the remaining boxes of DVDs. “I’ll keep busy. This isn’t my conversation. It’s yours.”
Knowing the truth about Owen when they didn’t felt wrong.
Helping Owen to decide to tell them everything?
That felt right.