Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Owen’s arms bracketed Matt’s head as he thrust slowly in and out of him.
“I’ve got you,” Owen murmured between kisses. He moaned when Matt tightened his body around his shaft. “I love it when you do that.”
Matt’s hand found his cheek. “I’ve got you too.”
Making love on the couch was fast becoming addictive. The windows were slid all the way across, opening the room to the garden, the perfume from the clerodendrum carried into the house on a warm breeze.
Matt’s head rested on a cushion, another stuffed under his hips, his legs wrapped around Owen’s waist as Owen rocked into him, hips rolling fluidly.
He paused, his cock buried in Matt’s warm body, and Matt let out a sigh.
“Oh, just like that. Don’t stop.”
Owen kissed his forehead. “No intention of stopping. I love how it feels to be inside you.” He resumed his leisurely thrusts, his breath catching now and then, his heart feeling as if it would burst from sheer joy.
Matt cradled his head. “As good as it feels when I’m inside you?”
He smiled. “That’s a very close second.” He picked up a little speed, and Matt groaned. Owen nodded. “Not long now.”
“I want to feel it.” Matt kissed him again, a little more urgently. “Come in me.”
Owen moved faster, his body already tingling, his balls tightening. “Aw fuck, how you feel…”
Matt clung to him, his fingers digging into Owen’s shoulders as Owen’s hips bucked. “Owen… oh my God, Owen….”
Their lips collided, Owen feeding him low moans as he came, shaking from his orgasm, body so fucking alive. And when there wasn’t a drop of cum left in him, Owen eased out of him and took Matt’s cock in his mouth, Matt arching to thrust deeper.
Matt trembled with the force of his climax, belly quivering, chest heaving.
“I never knew it could feel like this.”
Owen kissed him, sharing the taste of him. He stroked the hair back from Matt’s damp forehead and gazed into his eyes. “Neither did I.” Then he rested his head on Matt’s chest, listening to his heart thumping beneath his ribs.
“Can we stay like this? I don’t want to move.”
Owen chuckled. “If we stay here too long, we’ll end up stuck to each other.” He craned his neck for a kiss. “But I know what you mean. I don’t want to move either.”
Matt’s lips were soft against his. “I love being here like this.”
Owen hesitated for about a second. “I love you being here too.”
“But maybe I need to go.”
“No.” The word was out of him in a heartbeat. “Stay.”
They lay together, Owen drifting in and out of a warm doze, the smell of Matt filling his senses, the minutes ticking by, nowhere else to be but there.
The doorbell ringing froze them both.
Owen got to his feet and pulled on his shorts. “No idea who that is.”
Matt followed suit and got dressed. “I don’t recall wishing to be saved by the bell.”
He laughed. “All good things, right?” He gave the seat cushions a quick bat with his hands, and when everything looked as if they hadn’t just had sex on the couch, he headed for the front door.
He frowned when he found Callum standing there.
“Did you forget your key?” He cocked his head. “Did you tell me you were coming over, and I forgot?”
“It was a spur of the moment thing.” Callum gestured to the hall behind him. “Well, do I get to come in?”
Owen laughed and stood aside. “Of course.”
Callum went into the lounge, where Matt stood in the open space between house and patio. “Hey. How’s the garden coming along?”
Matt smiled. “It’s almost finished.” He glanced at Owen. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m done for the day.” He returned his attention to Callum. “It was good to see you again.”
“I’ll text you later,” Owen said as Matt turned to go to the side gate.
Matt raised his hand in a wave before disappearing from view.
Owen cleared his throat. “I’ll put the kettle on. I presume you want tea.”
Callum didn’t respond.
“Cal? Is something wrong?”
His son was staring at the floor. “I actually got here ten minutes ago.”
Owen frowned. “What have you been doing all this time?”
“Sitting in my car, waiting.”
“For what?”
Callum lifted his chin. “For when it was safe to ring the bell.”
Owen had lost the thread of this conversation. “I don’t understand.”
Callum swallowed. “When I got here, I used the side gate. I thought I might find you in the garden.”
Owen’s stomach dipped.
He locked gazes with Owen. “I heard you.”
The words landed like a punch.
Fuck.
Owen rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.” He truly was, not with what Callum knew, but with the way he’d discovered it.
“I wasn’t trying to listen. I was looking for you.” He folded his arms. “So how long has this been going on?”
“Since the beginning of last month.”
Callum huffed. “Well, I did wonder.”
Owen blinked. “What?”
“Dad… you smile now. You laugh more. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long while.” He took a deep breath. “I like Matt.”
“So do I.”
“No, I mean I really like him, and that’s why I’m worried.”
“About what?”
Callum looked at him. “You.”
Owen stared. “I don’t understand. Again.”
“I’ve watched you since Ben died.” Callum’s voice was quiet. “I’ve watched you with people. I’ve seen you fall into bed with them, then walk away.”
Owen narrowed his gaze. “That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Callum tilted his head to one side. “Want to know what I’ve learned? You always tell people the truth. You don’t promise forever. You make sure everybody knows where the line is.”
He frowned. “I wouldn’t disagree with any of that.”
Callum nodded. “Right. And then you leave.”
Owen clenched his jaw. “It’s never been like that.”
“Dad, I’ve watched it happen.” There was no accusation in Callum’s voice now.
That somehow made it worse.
“This isn’t me judging you, by the way,” Callum continued. “You’ve been lonely. I know why you keep things casual. I understand it.” He paused again. “But Matt isn’t casual.”
Owen’s heart raced. “What makes you say that?”
Callum laughed, an abrupt, sharp sound. “Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
Owen said nothing.
“I’ve seen that look before. I saw it every time I visited you, from the age of fifteen.” Another deep breath. “Every time Ben looked at you.”
Cold inched its way through Owen’s veins. Callum wasn’t comparing Matt to Ben. He was telling Owen he’d recognised something Owen had spent weeks refusing to name.
“Matt’s going to get hurt,” Callum announced.
Owen gaped at him. “How can you say that?”
“Because he’s twenty-five. You’re experienced. He’s not.”
Owen’s patience began to thin. “Matt isn’t a child.”
“I didn’t say he was.”
“You’re talking as if he needs protecting from me.”
Callum stared at him for several seconds. “Maybe he does.” His voice cracked. “Matt watches you when you aren’t looking. He smiles when you walk into the room. And when you laugh, it’s like somebody’s just turned his whole world on.”
Owen swallowed. That same smile he’d witnessed a moment ago.
“I’ve only ever seen you look at one person the way you look at Matt. And what I heard today? That didn’t sound casual.”
Owen’s heart lurched.
“You’ve kept telling me lightning doesn’t strike twice. And I believed you, every single time. Maybe you still believe that.” Another tilt of his head. “Does Matt know?”
“Know what?”
“That you’re not looking for anything serious.”
Owen’s stomach plummeted. “I never told him I was.”
“That wasn’t my question.” Callum took a breath. “Does he know what happens when this ends?”
Owen flinched. “Why are you assuming it will?”
“Because it always does.” He swallowed. “I’m not trying to ruin this for you.”
Owen stared at him.
“I just don’t want to watch you hurt him. Because if you really believe this ends the way all the others did…” His eyes met Owen’s. “Then end it now.”
What the…
“Don’t wait. Don’t let him fall for you any more than he already has. Because if you’re already planning the ending…” Callum’s voice cracked again. “Matt deserves to know before he builds his whole future around you.”
Something shifted inside him. Not anger, or even fear, but something far worse.
Possibility.
I’d never planned an ending.
Hadn’t I?
He’d simply assumed there would be one.
There always had been.
Callum turned towards the hallway. He reached for the door, then stopped. Without turning around, he said in a low voice, “I’ve already watched you lose the love of your life once. I don’t think I could bear watching you become the reason someone else loses theirs.”
The door closed behind him.
Owen remained where he was, the house quiet.
He glanced towards the sofa. The cushions were still rumpled despite his attempt to straighten them. He could almost feel Matt beside him.
Could almost hear his laugh.
Callum had just asked him the one question he’d been avoiding all summer.
Not whether he loved Matt, but whether loving him was enough.
Owen stood in the middle of the lounge, his head in a whirl.
He could dismiss some of what Callum had said. The age difference wasn’t new. Matt knew exactly how old he was. He knew what Owen’s life looked like. Nobody had forced him into anything.
Callum hadn’t been wrong about everything, though.
Matt had a dissertation to finish. A career to build. A whole bloody life ahead of him.
Owen had already had his great love. He’d been lucky enough to know what it was like to build a life with someone, to love someone for years and still want them beside you every morning.
He couldn’t ask Matt to give up the possibility of that, not for him.
Owen dragged a hand over his face.
He wasn’t ending anything. He just needed to be more careful about where this was heading.
Give Matt some room. Give myself time to think. Make sure neither of us mistakes what we want today for something we can’t sustain tomorrow.
Nothing had to change tonight. Matt would be back tomorrow. Owen would make coffee. They’d talk. They’d laugh. They’d carry on exactly as they had before.
Only now, Owen would be more careful.
He nodded to himself.
That was the sensible thing to do.
The right thing.
So why did the thought of doing it feel like losing something?