4
‘Ribs’
— Lorde
Scott
“You really suck today,” Ashton says, right after taking the ball from me, shooting it from the 3-point line. I catch the rebound and wipe sweat off my face.
“I’m just distracted.” I shoot the ball, and it bounces off the backboard back into my arms. I grit my teeth angrily.
“About what?” Danny shoots his own ball, raising his hands when he scores. “Woo! You see that!”
I watch Ashton dribble up the court. He does a layup with ease, then catches the rebound. Our shoes squeak on the floor as we play.
The gym is big, but empty. Only one row of bleachers is out, so people can watch if they want. No one else is here but us because practice was cancelled today due to the weather. The gym is still open for use, but everyone wants to get home.
“It’s just family stuff,” I say, not giving them the full truth.
I feel like my parents are hiding something from me.
Last time they fought this much, they were taking a break, or another time, my dad cheated on my mom.
It’s never something good. I look over at Axel sitting on the bleachers. He isn't playing today, just watching.
“Who shit on your parade?” Ashton asks Axel. Axel narrows his eyes at him. Axel definitely secretly hates us, but we are just a ton of extroverts who adopted the introvert.
“Shut the fuck up,” Axel says, giving Ashton a dirty look. Ashton turns to look at me.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” He points behind him. Ashton clenched his teeth together, pulling his lips back in a strained, awkward grimace. Danny laughs, Axel tosses a ball at him, but he dodges. The gym is quiet. No one else is here, just us and our thoughts.
“He got rejected,” Danny says. Axel glares at Danny for exposing him.
“By who?” I ask.
“I didn’t know you liked anyone,” Ashton says, awkwardly messing with the ball.
Ashton and Axel are close, like really close.
Danny and I are close, but not as close as Ashton and Axel.
Sometimes I think they are in a secret relationship, but Axel isn’t gay.
He actually has a really religious family that would disown him if they even found out Ashton was gay, which would never happen because if he were, I feel like we would know.
“It’s no one who goes to this school.” We both turn to Danny for answers.
Danny shrugs. “He wouldn’t tell me either.” The weird thing is, he didn’t tell Ashton anything. Are the two fighting? Axel grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulder.
“I should go.” He says flatly. It’s pouring rain outside, but that’s winter in Washington for you. It's always raining.
“It’s raining outside,” Ashton states.
“I know, but I want to leave.”
“But your ride isn’t here for another hour.”
Axel can’t drive because he doesn’t have a car; he rides a motorcycle in the spring, but it’s currently December.
It never snows until January or February, usually.
When it does snow, we get a lot of it. I know Lara has a love-hate relationship with snow; we used to have snowball fights as kids.
I remember comforting her after I made her cry by throwing a snowball at her face.
“I’ll survive, Ashton.” Axel mumbles, then walks out of the room. I look over at Ashton, his brows are furrowed, and his face is a mix of upset and anger. I pat him on the back.
“He’s just going through stuff,” I reassure him. Ashton nods, then picks up the ball again.
“Let’s play.”
5 years later
‘ceilings’
— Lizzy McAlpine
Scott
“You really knew her then, huh?” Maggie says, giving me a long look.
I told her everything about me and Lara, the whole story over drinks.
I told her how I’m still crazy about her.
I just don’t know if she hates me or not.
“If you told her everything you just told me now, she will come back.”
I doubt that’s the reality. Knowing Lara, she would just leave me in the dust.
I was the one who hurt her. It was me, it’s not something she should forgive.
“I doubt it,” I mumble. I think about all the times I apologized to Lara; I always got her forgiveness eventually, but it’s been 5 years, and I still haven’t apologized. I wish I could just be with her. I wish I hadn’t fuck it all up in the end.
“You could try,” Maggie suggests. Lara isn’t one to forgive and forget. It would take so much time; I don’t think she even loves me anymore.
“The worst she could say is no,” she states.
Ashton and Danny loved Lara so much. Ashton was there for Lara when I broke her heart; they all were.
When I left her, Danny and Ashton were pissed at me.
The first people to forgive me for leaving were my parents.
Then it was Danny, then Ashton, and now the last person I need to forgive me is Lara. The most important one by far.
“She could tell me to fuck off and die in a pit. That's a possibility.” I retort, Maggie laughs, shaking her head dismissively.
“I love her, I just don’t know how to get her back.” I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, frustrated. “I don't even know what to say. There’s been a huge buildup of words all these years, I don’t know where to start.”
“Start by telling her you're sorry, then go from there. It won’t happen in one day. You have to remember that.” I smile at my new friend. I’m glad I made a new friend, especially being in a new state. “Do you want to get drinks again on Friday?"
“I have a basketball game,” I say casually, and she looks surprised for a moment.
“Where do you play? The YMCA?” She says, laughing in disbelief. I shake my head, but I also can’t help but laugh a bit. She has no idea who I am. It makes sense; she doesn’t look like she’d watch sports.
“I play for the NY Tigers.”
“Oh, my god. Like you're actually in the NBA? This is insane.”
“This better not change our friendship.” I sip my drink.
“Of course not. I don’t even watch sports. I didn't know who you were.”
Her blue hair is starting to fade into a greenish blue; it suits her.
I remember when I dyed a piece of my hair red freshman year.
Lara said I looked stupid, I was debating putting the hair dye in her shampoo, but I wouldn’t want to ruin her beautiful blonde hair.
“Well, I need to call it a night. Thanks for going out with me.” I give her one last smile before walking out into the cold streets of New York.